spouse sabotage!

[Astrasmom 1]

Ultimately to be blunt (and pardon if this offends anyone) we are in this for ourselves. It's great to have people to support you. But even if they put a peice of double layer chocolate cake infront of you, they aren't forcing you to eat it. They aren't shoving it down your throats. You are the one that has to have the will power. For most of us this surgery was the last straw on the long list of diet hell. My attitude these days are, I am not going to let anyone or anything sabotage my health any longer. I will control food and won't allow it to control me any longer. So no matter what, you need to find that inner strength and make up your mind that this is not going to keep happening to you. Break the cycle. And yes I know it's easier said then done. But we all have that little voice deep down inside of us that we need to find. Be strong. You will over come.

[Just-Ice 1]

What do you do when your husband/wife/partner is trying to sabotage your weight loss? I mean, he brings me bowls full of cookie dough for christ's sake! I tell him not to, that i have no self control, but every time I look sad or upset, he brings me effing food.

I am at my wits end!:thumbup:

Maybe he is doing what has always worked for him? Has he always "helped" you by bringing you food? Maybe he just needs a little education. My poor husband is trying his best and has broken down to just asking me what I want instead of trying to guess and making me mad at him.

[kslessar 0]

Ultimately to be blunt (and pardon if this offends anyone) we are in this for ourselves. It's great to have people to support you. But even if they put a peice of double layer chocolate cake infront of you, they aren't forcing you to eat it. They aren't shoving it down your throats. You are the one that has to have the will power. For most of us this surgery was the last straw on the long list of diet hell. My attitude these days are, I am not going to let anyone or anything sabotage my health any longer. I will control food and won't allow it to control me any longer. So no matter what, you need to find that inner strength and make up your mind that this is not going to keep happening to you. Break the cycle. And yes I know it's easier said then done. But we all have that little voice deep down inside of us that we need to find. Be strong. You will over come.

Yes, we are doing this to help ourselves and there will always be temptations but this lady's life partner - who should understand better than anybody the reasons she made the choice to have the band is tempting her at weak moments all the time. I don't think he is doing it deliberately, and I think once she talks to him it will make a difference.

Not everyone has the strongest willpower, we are all different.

[kuurtamo 0]

Okay, so I had a talk with my husband. He's a pretty literal-minded guy (read: engineer), so I drew out a picture of the stomach before and after the surgery. I explained to him that I could only hold so much, and while in the past I could eat crap, but at the end of the day fit in something healthy like veggies and lean meat at dinner, I no longer had that option. Whatever went in there was the ONLY thing that went in there.

I went on to show him my fingernails and hair. They are growing weird, and my hair is falling out from malnutrition. I told him, even with Vitamins, I'm not getting the basic nutrition and minerals that I need. Every single thing that I put in my stomach has to be something that my body needs- otherwise my health will fail. And that's the reason I did this- for my health.

I think he understood a little better after that.

I also told him that I didn't care if he ate ice cream and french fries every night- but to not bring them into the house, since i had no self control- at least not yet.

I said "If you have to, run to dairy queen, eat there, throw away the evidence, and come home. But don't bring it in the house"

I think he got it, but we'll see. :willy_nilly:

[kuurtamo 0]

Maybe he is doing what has always worked for him? Has he always "helped" you by bringing you food? Maybe he just needs a little education. My poor husband is trying his best and has broken down to just asking me what I want instead of trying to guess and making me mad at him.

That's exactly what he's doing. My mom taught me to feed pain and anguish with food. So he's following the example of what I've done in the past- he knew that it worked for me.

I just have to change my own thinking and behaviors, and find something else to fill the void- otherwise my addiction to food will become an addiction to something else.