spouse sabotage!

[kuurtamo 0]

What do you do when your husband/wife/partner is trying to sabotage your weight loss? I mean, he brings me bowls full of cookie dough for christ's sake! I tell him not to, that i have no self control, but every time I look sad or upset, he brings me effing food.

I am at my wits end!:thumbup:

[Astrasmom 1]

What do you do when your husband/wife/partner is trying to sabotage your weight loss? I mean, he brings me bowls full of cookie dough for christ's sake! I tell him not to, that i have no self control, but every time I look sad or upset, he brings me effing food.

I am at my wits end!:thumbup:

If he's truly trying to help you and doesn't think that it's sabotage, ask him to bring you some fruit or yogurt instead. Maybe some sugar free pudding or Jello? Give him some suggestions of things that you can have instead of things that you aren't supposed to have. IF that doesn't work, then I would suggest when you get upset to go into another room of the house and tell everyone to leave you alone.

[marmar 0]

thats not good. My hubby isnt used to this yet. Thats what we did together. Eat. (Hes in good shape of coarse) Today he asked if I wanted to go get some wings LOL I said no but Ill get something else when you get your wings LOL

[jenrobbar951 0]

Mine isnt much of a support either. He is convinced I had the surgery done to lose weight so I can leave him....trust me, if I had the intention of leaving, I certainly dont need to lose weight to walk out the door! HAHA!

I try to go grocery shopping WITHOUT my husband. He always wants to buy chips, Cookies, crackers, and any other sugar filled item made available. However, his Mom often sneaks in snack after snack after snack. At one point I had like 30 boxes of Oreo Cakesters in my pantry. I did everything that I could to give them away. I even sent entire boxes to school with my daughters, in hopes that some of her friends would eat them. I think that I have like 10 more expired boxes in the pantry. Yep, EXPIRED, but my husband insists he will eat them at some point. I just have to wait for trash day to dispose of them....

I am sure that your husband/significant other isnt purposely sabotaging you. If it is a habit, then he needs to break it. If he brings you cookie dough, politely refuse and remind him that you are trying to be a healthier you. Then tell him what you would like in place of the cookie dough. My husband STILL offers me cake and such items on a nightly basis and I still look at him like, "WTF?!" but then I remind him, "I CANT HAVE THAT....REMEMBER?!" Then he laughs, I roll my eyes and my life goes on.

Dont let your husband/significant other have such power over you. I have no will power either, otherwise I wouldnt have had the lapband done in the first place. You have to look at the reasons why you were banded in the first place. You have to look at the possibility of a new, healthier you, and that has to drive you to have willpower. Lapband is a tool. It is there to help you, but if you cant help yourself, then it will fail.

I wish you nothing but the best of luck!!:thumbup:Hang in there!!!!!

[ElfiePoo 109]

What do you do when your husband/wife/partner is trying to sabotage your weight loss? I mean, he brings me bowls full of cookie dough for christ's sake! I tell him not to, that i have no self control, but every time I look sad or upset, he brings me effing food.

I am at my wits end!:thumbup:

I would just confront him with it and say, "Honey, I know you love me so why do you keep bringing me things I can't and shouldn't have?"

Make him verbalize and justify his actions. There could be many reasons. Has he been your eating buddy in the past? It may be that he's mourning the loss of that relationship. Some spouses fear their partner will change as a result of losing weight and are fearful of losing them...so subconciously try to maintain the status quo. Some of us truly have a problem with equating food with comfort. You said when you're sad or upset he brings you food. Sounds like he's trying to comfort you and knows this worked in the past.

I like Astrasmom's suggestion. Give him a list of food you know you can have (sugar free Jello, etc.) if he really feels the need.

.

[michelle33 0]

my husband likes to go out to eat all the time i tell him it does not help with my weigh loss . w hen i wont to go and work

out he always has plans for us.

he only likes veggies chicken salad and the place that he likes santa steak house mexican food, taco bell , mac donalds, chick fla ,long john's slivers,sonic. we eat at these places all the time. i want to eat home he tells me he hate my cooking so i really dont know what i am going to do. when i want to work out he gets made. i feel your

pain sister.

[JOYCE13 0]

My mom keeps sending me recipes, about 6 per day. I told her that would not be able to make them. My surgery is Jan 5,. She says to save them I will make them in a couple of months.

She has not been supportive and has told me she is against the surgery.

[minimeme 1]

thats not good. My hubby isnt used to this yet. Thats what we did together. Eat. (Hes in good shape of coarse) Today he asked if I wanted to go get some wings LOL I said no but Ill get something else when you get your wings LOL

I usually do the carat sticks while my guy does the wings. I will steal one wing from him if I just cant resist.

[minimeme 1]

Start getting up to go for a walk and drag him with you. Or better yet, when he brings those food offerings, make him rub your feet instead. :thumbup:

What ever you do, try to keep a sense of humor. It really does help.

[minimeme 1]

My mom keeps sending me recipes, about 6 per day. I told her that would not be able to make them. My surgery is Jan 5,. She says to save them I will make them in a couple of months.

She has not been supportive and has told me she is against the surgery.

My mom has been doing a diet right along with me. When I was on liquids, she was making Soups for her and my dad. As soon as I went to mushies, she was blending things. LOL

We arent even in the same state. But she was suffering by proxy with me. :thumbup:

[JOYCE13 0]

My mom has been doing a diet right along with me. When I was on liquids, she was making Soups for her and my dad. As soon as I went to mushies, she was blending things. LOL

We arent even in the same state. But she was suffering by proxy with me. :thumbup:

Thats nice that she is really being so supportive. I wish mine was.

[jenrobbar951 0]

My mom keeps sending me recipes, about 6 per day. I told her that would not be able to make them. My surgery is Jan 5,. She says to save them I will make them in a couple of months.

She has not been supportive and has told me she is against the surgery.

My Mom was totally supportive in the beginning, but once she went to some seminar on how to increase your metabolism, she changed her tune. She suddenly told me that I needed to try harder on my own. I explained to her time and time again that THIS IS WHAT I WANTED and there was nothing that was going to change my mind. Magically one day, she got it. She even went as far as to tell me that if it makes me happier and healthier, then she is behind me 100%. I only wish that she would live long enough to see the thinner, happier, healthier me.......she is dying of bone cancer and wont live more than a couple of months. But I am glad that she realized that I was doing this for me. Hang in there. Your Mom may not realize why you are choosing to do this, but in the end, she may get it. And if she doesnt, well, atleast you know why you did it! Best of luck!

[JOYCE13 0]

My Mom was totally supportive in the beginning, but once she went to some seminar on how to increase your metabolism, she changed her tune. She suddenly told me that I needed to try harder on my own. I explained to her time and time again that THIS IS WHAT I WANTED and there was nothing that was going to change my mind. Magically one day, she got it. She even went as far as to tell me that if it makes me happier and healthier, then she is behind me 100%. I only wish that she would live long enough to see the thinner, happier, healthier me.......she is dying of bone cancer and wont live more than a couple of months. But I am glad that she realized that I was doing this for me. Hang in there. Your Mom may not realize why you are choosing to do this, but in the end, she may get it. And if she doesnt, well, atleast you know why you did it! Best of luck!

I am sorry about your mom. My mom tells me to try harder too. I have tried for so long on my own now I need the help that the band can give. I hope she does understand, one day.

[GoneFishin 0]

I am so blessed to have my sweet and supportive wife. I will be banded on Tuesday 12/15 and she has even been on preop liquids with me. Says she wants to lose a few pounds and that's a good way to do it. She has virtually memorized my postop requirements, studied menu ideas and has encouraged me every step of the way. She is more support than I can ever thank her for. I can only imagine how difficult this would be without her.

[LollyMoe 1]

Joyce13: I am sorry that your mom isn't very supportive. Have you tried to educate her on what the lapband is all about? Take her to a support group with you.

Kuurtamo: Explain to hubby that you would rather have a good relaxing massage than cookie dough.