Don't know what it feels like to be "normal" sized & scared!

[DizzyLizzy 21]

I have no idea what it’s like to be “normal” size, and I’m getting kinda scared about it. I don’t know why, and it seems really dumb to me, but now that I’m so close to my surgery date and losing like crazy on this liquid pre-op diet, the possibility of being “normal” sized is becoming more real to me. I can already see a change in my face and my body, and it’s kind of freaking me out.

I have never been anywhere close to ideal weight. Even in my preschool photos, I was very chubby. I remember even in elementary school having to shop in the plus section. I’m guessing my most “normal” weight was in 9th grade I was about 200lbs, but still, that was very overweight, I wore size 18/20.

So, anyone else in my boat, never been at a healthy weight? Anyone else nervous? Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about being able to do things I haven’t been able to in a long time, like ride things at the amusement park, and things I’ve never been able to do like go on a plane without the extender, or buy clothes without having to go to Lane Bryant or Fashion Bug. Hell, for a while I couldn’t even shop at those places because I was too big, nearly 400lbs and had to shop at Catherines or buy clothes online! I should be down right excited, and I am, but, at the same time something about the whole thing has got me nervous.

[RuthW 0]

Same here. The last time I was "tiny," I was in the second grade. I've always been chubby because of big hips, thighs, and breasts, so I expect the closest I'll get to "normal" for me is about a size 14 or 16.

I'm more scared that I won't lose any weight at all.

[elcee 3,341]

I think that for a lot of people that is quite normal. Fat is something that we can hide behind. When things in our lives are not going right we can blame it on being fat instead of something we are doing wrong.

One example is people who have been sexually abused will often put on weight so that they don't have to deal with men.

There are lots of other examples.

Don't let your fear of the unknown stop you from achieving your goals. If it does start to get in the way then go and speak to a pshycologist.

Imagine how fabulous you will feel when you get there.

[Sue Magoo 71]

Hi:

I think one of the most amazing things about losing so much weight is the increase to my energy level. This is only one of the positive things. There are many others too.

Best wishes to you to love your band like I love mine!

Sue

[kristintaylor1 4]

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I'm on my pre op diet right now as well. I have lost 7 lbs so far and it's scary. I think this is why previous diets never worked for me. It's all about the FEAR of being a different person. This is about the time that after losing a small amount of weight I automatically sabotage myself by allowing myself to cheat. I even did it today. I'm on my pre op diet and I took a couple bites of something not on the list. I don't understand why I can't allow myself to be successfull. I'm slowly mentally trying to work through this. I think once I see a significant amount of weight dropped that will be the true moment when I realize I really can do this and most importantly I deserve it. Don't do what I did today, just keep pushing through this pre op diet because eventually your mind will switch gears and become a believer instead of a wisher. :rolleyes2:

[DizzyLizzy 21]

Thanks a lot for the feedback, everyone! I am so glad it's not just me. It's almost like when I had my first child, so excited, wanted it so badly, but scared. I guess in both instances it truely makes you a different person!

[terrimj 0]

I had a small period in my life when I was thin-ish, from like age 27-30 and can't wait to have that 'freedom' again!

But I just wanted to tell you that when I read your post I just become so excited for you and truely pray the best for you and your journey!

[Just-Ice 1]

Same here. The last time I was "tiny," I was in the second grade. I've always been chubby because of big hips, thighs, and breasts, so I expect the closest I'll get to "normal" for me is about a size 14 or 16.

I'm more scared that I won't lose any weight at all.

boy didn't THAT hit home. I am right there with you.

[ForMyFourBoys 0]

I am nervous too...I have always been overweight and it feels normal to me...I hope to adjust the new "me" O.K. My surgery is in 10 days and I am most nervous about missing foods...not being able to eat normally. Most of what I read talks about what it is like post op but not what LIFE is going to be like afterwards...my extended family is trying to talk me out of it and have me cancel my date but I don't know...HELP!

[TracyW2 137]

I'm in the same boat. I have always been heavy and I'm not sure what I will be like thin.

Congrats on your weight loss so far. That is fantastic!!

[TinaM 0]

formyboys... read some of the success stories, you will be able to eat some of those foods in moderation.

in the end you are the only one who knows if this is right for you.

I am nervous too...I have always been overweight and it feels normal to me...I hope to adjust the new "me" O.K. My surgery is in 10 days and I am most nervous about missing foods...not being able to eat normally. Most of what I read talks about what it is like post op but not what LIFE is going to be like afterwards...my extended family is trying to talk me out of it and have me cancel my date but I don't know...HELP!

[grizzlyrider 0]

I was nervous before too but not as nervous as I was when I thought of being this overweight for the rest of my life. I refuse to be the lady in the mall riding the scooter (nothing against ladies in scooters, I just wasnt going to be one because of my weight) I was (am) sick and tired of food, tired of eating it and regreting it, tired of beating myself up over it, tired of hating myself for it. I don't miss it at all. I eat normal food and am shocked in restaurants when I see how much everyone is getting their plates. Funny it didn't seem shocking to me 4 months ago! I'm tired of that old fat life and am ready for something new. I picture myself running through a meadow light as a feather like an old tv commercial. Miss food - not when the alternative is so inviting!

[kagead 0]

I probably won't be banded until April or May so for now, I am just curious about what it will feel like to be "normal sized." I'm sure some of the fear will set in as it gets closer. :rolleyes2:

When I had my initial meeting with the program coordinator at the surgeon's office, she asked me if I had a goal weight in mind. I told her I have not been anywhere close to an ideal weight since I was 13 years old, so have absolutely no idea what that number would be. I also can't imagine how I'll look!

I said that right now, I'd be happy to just see the weight come off and see how my body adjusts. She said she was actually glad when patients come in with NO set number in mind as so many people get stuck on that figure and it can really sabotage the overall effort.

We'll see how my emotions progress!

kagead

[crzytchr 3]

I am nervous too...I have always been overweight and it feels normal to me...I hope to adjust the new "me" O.K. My surgery is in 10 days and I am most nervous about missing foods...not being able to eat normally. Most of what I read talks about what it is like post op but not what LIFE is going to be like afterwards...my extended family is trying to talk me out of it and have me cancel my date but I don't know...HELP!

Don't worry about the foods post op. As long as you don't get your band too tight, you can eat most foods. I eat thin crust pizza, whole wheat Pasta and even whole wheat bread. My friend, who was banded two weeks before me, has her band a little looser, and she can eat anything. I eat what I want, just about 1/3 of the amounts I did before banding. I consistently eat 1200-1500 calories per day. I lost my weight so far without exercising, but plan on joining a gym in the next week or two to get started. If you have any specific questions, feel free to pm me. I will help you in any way I can. Keep reading, researching and if you decide to be banded, don't let anyone else talk you out of it. This has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. :rolleyes2:

[greytz 4]

When I first got into the "normal" size range my Mom and I went shopping and she said "Stop going into the plus sizes honey, you aren't there anymore". I hadn't even realized I had done it. Then, recently we were at Dillard's and I got a top and went into the dressing room. She came in with some more tops and I looked at them and said "Mom, take those back, they won't fit me". Well, of course they did fit me. It is hard to explain how it feels but I love it. It does take some adjustment though.