Is this normal???

[hillmama 0]

Hey all! This is my first thread to actually start. I assume this is the correct forum for this to be under but I'm not sure.

Let me give just a little background...I was banded in March of 2008. I started to rapidly lose my weight after about five months of having the band. My starting weight was 282 and by January of this year I was down to 160. After January, I started having complications from a concentric pouch dilitation and ended up weighing in at 128. Once this was diagnosed, my surgeon attempted to fix it non surgically for about five months. Fills and unfills and this test and that test...until finally a decision was made that I needed revisional surgery. By this point, I felt as though I was at the end of my rope. So on Nov 16th, just 3 weeks ago, I had the revisional surgery. I was MORE than ready for all this to be resolved. Throughout my entire experience over the past 18 months, I have been very mentally stable and what I thought was dealing with all these changes in a normal way, UNTIL I had this second surgery. It's like I've been hit with a freight train of unresolved emotions and feelings now that I have accomplished all the weight loss. I honestly don't feel like anyone understands what LAP-BAND® patients go through unless they have a band personally. I can't even describe how everything feels...I can't get the words. Anyone else like this?

Another issue I am noticing and am curious if others feel the same way... My surgeon is amazing and such a nice man. All of his patients think very highly of him, I constantly refer him out, and he is praised my many other healthcare professionals. Point is - he's great at what he does! However, I've noticed, the more weight I lose, the more timid and anxious I am when I go in the office. It's like I can't find the right way to communicate, can't find the right words, etc. But more than anything I feel as though I'm hyper sensitive in the patient-provider relationship I have developed with him and his staff. I've pondered that maybe it's that this person has helped me achieve something so drastically amazing in my life and I see how much it's changed my life and he has ultimate control over this in my life forever. It's not that I worship him or anything like that - haha! I just don't understand why going in there makes me completely act like someone I am not. I am a very fun, bubbly, outgoing person and I just lock up lately and become timid. Last time I left the office, I got in my car and my hands were just shaking. It's so weird. They are very nice to me! Hopefully I will shake this off ASAP! It's so not me! Anyone else experiencing this????

Thanks for your input!

[KTKaya 2]

Wow Hillmama you have some complex emotions going on there! It sounds to me like you are brave and a strong woman. People respond to surgery in different ways and although you say you feel less emotionally stable now since this last surgery, I think you are who you are and you will balance out again eventually.

As for the nervousness with your surgeon, I understand! I feel shy around mine too because I am newly banded and am always wondering what he is thinking when he sees me. Am I losing to little, too slowly, etc. I know its not the same as you but I want you to know you're not alone having unexplainable emotions!

I hope you will find balance and peace soon!

[Barble 0]

I find my patience wears very thin with my family since surgery. and I am more sensitive now and don't laugh nearly as much. I hope it gets better, i'm not liking the new me. I see my PCP on friday. we'll see what she says

[hillmama 0]

Thank you KTKaya. I'm feeling better. It's just been a long journey :thumbup: Barble - I think that's all part of it. I went through a phase where I withdrew, but never with my kids. Everyone else though I did withdraw from. Relationships change and you feel different. There is so much to this whole experience that is mental and I think that the mental aspect isn't given the amount of attention that is needed by practitioners. Definitely talk to your PCP. I've read alot about depression being very common with WLS patients. It would make sense - think about all the nutritional changes and what the body goes through. It would make sense to me that it would create imbalances. I think mine has been brought to the surface by Vitamin deficiencies and the complications I've experienced. Hang in there and keep us updated.

[carbgrl 0]

Aside from the nutritional changes, the trauma of surgery also affects hormones, and emotions. I've also read something about fat "holding" hormones, so the actual fatloss, will affect hormones and emotions. That's part of the reason why overweight women have trouble conceiving.

Hillmama, I hope you will continue to feel better as you heal. I'm curious, about what kind of surgery revision you had? I've never heard of concentric pouch dilitation before. Did they give you a new band?

[nkara 0]

I don't think people really understand how emotional weight loss is. It's not just about being physically healthy but emotionally. Most overweight people are there because of emotional eating and the emotions are still there once you've lost the weight. I think support is needed for all going through this. Just getting "skinny" doesn't take away the raw emotions we feel.

I'm not talking anyone specifically but for me I know my emotions are up and down everyday. Loosing that much weight that fast was probably a jolt to your system along with all the complications you've had to deal with.

Could you make an appointment with the psychiatrist who did the initial consultation prior to surgery to discuss this with them? Maybe they will have more of an insight and can offer some advice.

Let us know how you make out. I'm sure your not the only one dealing with things like this.

[kagead 0]

I haven't been banded yet, but a friend who had GB several years ago told me she went through a very rough time emotionally when she got down to 10 or so lbs. from her goal weight.

Through counseling, she figured out that for the first time in her adult life, she was spending a great deal of time thinking about HERSELF, rather than others. She was as concerned about feeding herself properly as she was her husband and kids. When people talked to her, they wanted to know about HER, rather than just hear what the kids were up to. It was harder to fade into the background than it was before the weight loss.

Like so many other women, she had always put herself last. She always thought of the surgery in terms of how it would affect her family- more energy to play with them, healthier for a longer life, kids wouldn't be teased about her size, etc. She never really thought about how it would affect HER.

When she was heavy, she always assumed she was being judged for her weight. She also figured if someone didn't like her, it was because she was heavy. Once she lost the weight, those excuses were gone and she was fearful about being judged for who she was, not what she looked like. That freaked her out!

It took a while, but eventually she found her footing again and with her new found confidence, she is a happier, better version of the woman she was before (which was pretty great to begin with!)

Of course, I don't know you, but I hope that maybe something here may resonate with you.

Wishing you nothing but success and happiness-

kagead

[Cocoabean 430]

Hillmama,

Could some of your timidity with your doctor be related to the complications?

What I mean is that do you fear that your surgeon thinks you might blame him for the problems?

I know that might change my behavior around someone. Even though you don't blame him. The longer the Quest for answers goes on about something "he did to you" could cause a change in the dynamics of the relationship.

Perhaps I don't know what I am talking about. It's just my two cents worth from the outside looking in.

Denise