Hmm, where do I start? (sorry so long)

[great expectations 0]

Believe me, you are in the right place. I am sure no one meant to bash you. I have found nothing but support and motivation on this site. You are valuable and you have a purpose in life. I think that you must first concentrate on you and getting you well. Work on the depression issues first and the weight loss issues will fall in line. I know that it is easier said than done to get up and exercise, I struggle with it everyday. However, I know that the rewards will be well worth it. Start loving yourself and do this for you. KNow that we are here for you. If you want a more one on one support, feel free to email me. I am more than willing to go this mile with you. God bless! You can do this!:eek:

[thinkoflaura 0]

as a brand new bandster, my first reaction to your post was, "Wow -- even after the band, after losing 100 lbs, life/health is still just as challenging as before the tool was in place." that for me was a good wake up call, to always be mindful and ready to face the struggles as they come (as they've always come)...

my next reaction was F#@$ that boss - you're an experienced CPA, you could work anywhere!

then i realized, the one you're probably most frustrated with and disappointed by is yourself. i know we've all been there! and it sounds like you feel trapped in this weight-work-depression-time suck-rut. but you have made a HUGE move in the right direction, coming into the light here, putting your challenges under the microscope -- now it's just a matter of deciding what to do next.

i think the other gals have given you great ideas to think about, but at the end of the day, you are the only one who really knows what brings you peace. if something like WOW fulfills you, great, keep that hobby! but you owe it to yourself to find balance. if its worth it to you to play 15 hours a week (like it would be worth it to others to do scrapbooking or watch TV - my vice), fine. but then you have to commit to getting up at 4:30 to work out.

you know, i heard that michelle obama gets up to at 4:30 to work out every day. i would never be willing to do that (i'd rather watch less tv personally), but i do say to myself, i bet michelle obama is as busy as i am... maybe a little busier :eek:... and if she finds the time to get on a freakin' treadmill every day, then i have no excuse!

when you're thick in a funk, it's so hard to find a clear way out. but take baby steps. make one choice, make one promise to yourself to actively put your health first. maybe it will lead you into a brighter more hopeful spot.

[ElfiePoo 109]

Obviously I don't know you personally, but I used to play Final Fantasy and was to the same point in the game (end game). I also said I did it for 'fun' but one night I realized it was an addiction and was coming between me and my real life relationships. I didn't realize until almost a year after I went cold turkey (cancelled my account and got rid of anything that had my access information on it) that I realized it was actually stressful. It had stopped being 'fun' a long time ago but I was addicted and was blind to that fact.

Interestingly, I was also diagnosed with 'depression' and was treated with meds during that time. My depression went away after I got rid of the addiction.

You know what you have to do. Now you just need to do it. Stop avoiding your doctor, get back into a support group (come here if you don't have one locally) and start writing down everything you eat. Recommit. You can do this!

As for your boss...he may be your boss, but he doesn't have the right to 'get personal'. If he brings up your weight again, very politely tell him that this is something you need to deal with on your own and comments, well meaning though they may be, about your weight or eating habits do not help. Then whenever he brings it up, just quietly say 'boundaries please'. Hopefully he will take the hint but if not you may have to be a bit more assertive. If he won't establish proper boundaries, then you establish them.

Since you know tax season is coming up, spend some of your spare time (the time you're no longer spending on WoW :eek:) to make up some dinners that you can freeze. I have one of those vacuum freezer savers and I freeze things in individual portions. That way they're easy to defrost in the microwave and I'm only heating what I'm going to eat. Just cook extra and immediately after dinner, portion out the extra and freeze it. Voila...instant meals when you come home late during tax season.

You can do this. :thumbdown:

[Ale78 0]

Man, all I can say is I stand behind you buddy! There is a huge amount of support here.

I used to watch a LOT of TV and my habit in watching it was to mindlessly eat crap food. First I cut way back on the tv and still slowly working on the nightime snacking. Sitting in front of the tv or the computer leads to mindless snacking for me. Does it do that to you?

I didn't want to give up my shows but I didn't want to give up on me either. I won out in the end. I want this to work! You need to figure out what is more important for you. Having time to work out and cook healthy meals or WoW.

I know it's tough, I really feel for you.

Another thing I would do is see if you can find another counselor in your area. I know you said you live in a small town but what if you go to another town? Find someone that works for you. That is such a personal relationship. You need to be happy in it. I get so much help and advice from mine. The first one I went to was like the opposite of helpful. The one I see now sees a lot of people with weight issues. SO maybe ask at your lapband Drs office and see if they have any recommendations.

Never give up, never give in!:eek:

~A

[GraciesMom 0]

I am so sorry that your boss is giving you such unkind and unwarrented verbal abuse, but on the other hand you have every right to stand up for yourself and tell him that his comments are clearly not business related and therfore

unnecessary. Further more, if he persists you will

construe any further comments about your weight as discriminatory. He knows what the repercussion’s are for that so you should not need to say anything further.

Don't let this man add to all your other frustrations, you are are worth so much better!

~Cheryl

[sweethinkr 0]

Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. It really does help to hear what other people see of my situation.

I have already gotten rid of cable TV, that was my big eating downfall. So now I get three channels and don't watch much of it anymore.

I understand that WoW is just another addiction. I can see that. But what happens when I have no tv and no computer game to occupy the down time I do have in between working, working out and meal planning and preparing (I prepare my meals for the week for lunch and dinner on Sunday). I am a compulsive shopper, which has gotten me into a lot of trouble, and I think I have that under control now, I used to drink and smoke a lot, but have thankfully given that up, and I used to watch a lot of tv and don't do that anymore. I'm afraid that if I quit WoW also, I'll be left with another void and I'll fall into another bad habit, which could be even worse for my health.

I am thinking about cutting out the "required" wow playing, which is called raiding, but keeping the account open so that I can play on the weekends or on the rare occassion I do have down time during the week. It is a different game that way, and prehaps I'll lose interest entirely, eventually, but leaving myself with nothing much else to do, would probably be just as bad of an idea.

I got up this morning at 6 (will work my way up to 4 before January 1) and I worked out. It was only 10 minutes, but I haven't worked out in months and I will ramp up as I go.

Our next support meeting is the first Wed. in January, so I will resolve to go to that. And in the meantime, I will try to figure out what else I enjoy that I can do in my spare time, once wow is completely gone from my life. But I need to have a solid plan so I don't fall into something else more harmful.

Thanks again for the support.

[thinkoflaura 0]

way to go, jaime!!!!!!

baby steps! so awesome that you got up today and did 10 minutes! that's bigger than you know! i hope you feel REALLY good about that because, hopefully, if the progression continues, that will be a defining moment for you and your healing.

did you take your multi-vitimins today? maybe that could be your other baby step? or - you said you have pets -- if they are the run-around/playful kind, maybe you can swing by the dollar store and buy a ball or toy and spend 10 minutes playing a little wild with them?

again, even if WOW is an addiction, if you can make it so it doesn't prevent you from achieving balance in your life, in my opinion, you don't have to give it up. your plan to find a new way to play sounds promising, just be open minded about it --personally, i hope you don't lose interest and find a great way to enjoy the game for a 1/3 of the time you're doing it now.

imagine how awesome you're going to feel 6 months from now when you're back on track?!!!!!!:rolleyes2::cool2:

[great expectations 0]

Sweethinkr,

I don't know what kind of religious preference you have, but if you believe in the word of God, filling any empty space with His word will do wonders for your life. Even if you don't believe, if you will just try Him-I guarentee that you will not be disappointed. You will wonder where does the time fly by.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Okay, I'm going to try to offer helpful suggestions. If they're not, forgive me...

1. My granddaughter (who's 20) play WoW daily, belongs to a guild whose members mostly live in Australia....and she's raising a little girl. She's come to realize that WoW detracts from her being a really good mother. I know from Skye how ubsessive that game can be. I can't tell you to quit, but maybe if you evaluate what it's taking away from you. You have no social life, except for the vent and I suspect it also means you are not exercising. Maybe try getting a new obsession, like the gym? Perhaps change to a different guild, where they don't know you and pick a night to play. One night.

2. Cooking when you have crazy hours. Here are a couple of ideas. I don't get home from work until 7:00 or 7:15 usually. And I cook every night. Some nights, I just don't want to cook. So try these ideas.

A. Make two small meatloafs; cook them both and freeze one for another day. Just wrap it in foil and then put it in a ziplock bag. Reheat in the microwave.

B. You need some things that cook fast. I keep frozen fish filets on hand. Turn the oven on to 350. Put a fish filet in a square of foil. Put a little bit of butter and lime or lemon juice (like a teaspoon) and some herbs). Wrap it up tight, put it on a cookie sheet and back for about 20 minutes if the fish is frozen; sometimes a little less if it's fresh. DON'T overcook it or it will be dry and a little chewy. This cooks so fast that you can go put on your PJs, come back and prepare a salad (or you could have put some frozen veggies in the microwave while you were changing).

C. Buy a small roast. Put in a crock pot on LOW. Cover with some beef broth, some seasonings (but skip the salt because unless you bought low sodium broth it's already got plenty). Add a little onion. Put a lid on and go to work. It will be done in about 11 hours. It will fall off the bone and be moist. Perfect! Again, fix an easy side and you're in business fast. And you'll have leftovers to put on a salad with other good veggies and a low fat dressing on another night.

I can suggest other quick meals but I think you get where I'm going with this.

Finally, back to giving up WoW or scaling back....Find a social group to join. I have been a very active member of the Parrot Head Club (Jimmy Buffett fans, who do a LOT of community service work) and have a lot of fun too. There are a lot of organizations out there who would welcome you to their events and activities. You'd be out of the house which I find to be very good for my success at this weight loss thing. I don't know what's in your city but here's a few from Atlanta and maybe you can find similar....Atlanta Parrot Head Club (go to www.phip.com and then the pull down for chapters to find a local club). Atlanta Ski Club (they go on ski trips). Atlanta Fundraising is a singles group that does some community service stuff and plan lots of weekend trips and such. I've been on a few and they are a lot of fun (beach trips, mountain trips, parties, etc.).

I discovered my old habits and activities were all part and parcel of my weight and as I found different things to do I found that I changed what I did when I was out and about (picked different foods when I ate out, drank less, socialized more)!

[kennethsch 0]

I am new at the band, but a long, long time gamer, going way back to Ultima on the Commodore 64 in the early 80's. Everquest 1 and 2, and WoW has consumed many hours of time. Talk about addiction, I used to "Raid" all by myself, with quad-boxing 4 accounts, sometimes 5 or 6 with borrowing friends accounts. So I am saying this, to establish my credentials, I FULLY understand gaming, and the addictions that it CAN represent. As I look back, and chart my gaming against my weight gains and losses, there is a correlation, due to the time I had available. No, playing games does not make you overweight. But for me at least, it had a huge correlation to the time I put into games, vs other things in life. So in the end, your choices are completely up to you. But I think you have come to this forum asking for help, asking for advice, or support. I am "down" to one WoW account now, and play alt's most of the time. You may want to try that, create another character that you can casually play, here and there, without the "pressure" to perform, or Raid. Try another server, the other faction, horde or Alliance. Try a different game like Age of Empires, or Civilization.

Sometimes you have to go cold turkey, sometimes you can scale back. The bottom line is, that you are looking for time to exercise, and you can't cut work out. I try and get 5 min here, 5 min there, I walk down the hall to the farther bathroom when I need to go. I get 10 mins of hall walking in at lunch time. (I work with a really big complex of offices) You can try leg lifts while sitting at your desk. 100 leg lifts per hour. Some workplaces will let you bring in one of those giant ball to sit on instead of your desk chair. Not much difference, but you are using your core muscles to sit, instead of slouching in a chair (like I do ). I park in the farthest lot. I know, people use that excuse alot, but for me, it is 3/4 of a mile (according to my pedometer) from my car to my desk, each way. That is 1.5 miles a day just getting to my car. Now it sucks in winter, and Michigan winters can be brutal, but bring boots, heavy jacket, hat, wrap, gloves, even snow pants. You are worth it. I have found that if you look, you can find a few minutes here and there to increase your activity level. Sure, 30 min of cardio is the gold standard that we shoot for per day. But sometimes, we give up on exercise altogether, because we don't have the hour available to exercise (and then shower, change, get back to work). Three, 10 minute walks is not the same as 30 minutes of cardio. But to your muscles, it is activity, you are burning SOMETHING, it is better than just sitting doing nothing. And I found that it got me into a better place, where now I walk 1 hour each morning. (Ugg, I am NOT a morning person, but I set that alarm at 5:30, and drag myself out)

You can do this, we are here to support you, but it is up to you to commit. Send me a PM if you want to chat more about games, and ideas for limiting their influence on your time.

[JoJo1 0]

I would research the Gastric Bypass extensively before you try it. I have been reading these forums for quite some time. It has a higher rate of failure than banding. It also has a ton of terrible side effects. It is also not reversable so you are stuck with those side effects for the rest of your life. You also have to do the work with it, the same as with the band. It does not do the work. I am sorry to say that you are back to having to figure it out. Are you in therapy for your depression? If not you might consider it as your reasons for being depressed may be tied to your reasons for being overweight. Exploring that may be your only answer!! Love and Light!!

[carbgrl 0]

I know it's not the same as wow but, maybe you could start using a wii Fit to help you start exercising more. I agree eating better and exercising will help with your depression. I know it's hard, we've all been there but you can do it!

[hmarko 0]

Also have you had your thyroid checked? I am unclear as to whether you ate your way around the band or there was something else going on or both. Thyroid issues can also cause depression how is your energy level?