Anyone have a friend/relative that was totally against the surgery?

[gingerjane 5]

So, I'm exploring the Lap Band surgery and by exploring I'm taking it pretty seriously. I've gone to a seminar by Dr. Trace Curry (Cincinnati) and have been reading a lot about the surgery online, etc.

This past weekend, I was out of town with some friends of mine and I mentioned that I was seriously considering the surgery. Last night I get an e-mail from her basically telling me that she thinks I need to reconsider and see a therapist first for my "issues" as to why I like to eat, etc. She keeps telling me that she believes the only thing I should do is see a therapist and get some "pscyhological" help. :scared2:

She does not think that the "support groups" will help. Here's the deal. I'm hungry ALL the time. I've been successful in the past with Weight Watchers but I'm hungry constantly even on the diet. And then - I end up gaining my weight back. So, I am exploring the lap band to help curb some of that hunger. I know it won't take it all away but I figure the curbing is better than nothing and I also feel like with the band, I won't be so apt to completely go off track.

Any thoughts? I've gently told her that I'm not one for individual therapy and that I prefer the group setting. I like bonding with others. But, it's like she's making me out to sound like a raving lunatic that goes around eating everything I can get my hands on. :thumbup:

Have you encountered anyone in your life like this? My husband hasn't been that vocal about anything. Yet, I have this friend insinuating that I'm not taking it seriously.

Help!

[btrieger 21]

Drop your "friend" like a bad habit.

She is nothing more than a hindrance to your well-being.

[gingerjane 5]

The thing is - she's overweight, too. She's recently lost 50 lbs with Weight Watchers, but she's still overweight. I don't understand why she wouldn't be supportive? I've heard others say it's "cheating" but truthfully - how many people gain the weight back on diet programs? Almost 95% of people do. So, to me - that's not a great success rate. Heck - look at The Biggest Loser. One of their winners has gained his weight back.

Lapband isn't cheating. It's a way of life. It's a tool to help someone succeed. It's just frustrating to be accused of not having the "psyche" to do this.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

My thought is this.....we ALL have friends who think they are authorities on everything under the sun, and they don't hesitate to tell us what they think we should do on any given subject.

Your friend doesn't live down the street. Ignore her opinion because it's really nothing more than an opinion. She obviously doesn't have the answer to weight loss issues either (heck none of did, right?) and most of us who have had the surgery will tell you that it was the right choice for US but not necessarily for someone else. If you've decided it's right for you then pursue your decision.

She'll eventually see you, know that you've lost weight and you really don't have to discuss your decision with her. What will she see? Pounds lost, you eating smaller portions, making an effort to get more exercise.....and no neon sign that proclaims "I got the lap band in spite of what you think".

This is such a personal choice. I wonder what she would say if you said "I think I want a boob job"?? Probably nothing as negative, which I find entertaining.

[btrieger 21]

I am no psychologist but I would be willing to bet that she is in denial about WLS helping her lose weight and doesn't want you to get it and prove her wrong.

WLS if a big step and you are changing your life forever. Anybody that is going to tell you that it is a mistake when what you need is support is only going to do you harm.

[aubrie 6]

I'm hearing a tad bit of jealousy on her part. When it comes to your health, the ONLY persons you should be listenting to is you and your doctor. period. No ifs, ands or buts. This includes your spouse. It's your body. Your health. That is one thing in this life you CAN control. Everyone thinks they're an expert on weight loss. The interesting thing is that health and weight issues are as individual for each person as a finger print. We do not all neatly fit into the same categories. To do so, or think so, is ignorant. What works for you will not work for the next guy for a miriad of reasons. Stick to your guns. Follow your heart. Do your research. Listen to your DOCTOR. Your friend's concern, is simply that. concern. You would be shocked to hear the multitude of misconceptions that people have about nutrition, weight loss, health, bariatrics, etc. Add that to the individual complexities of each persons situation, and you have a whole lot of inaccurate "advice". thank her. Bless her. and move on!!

[bigmomma73 0]

My father was VERY against the surgery. He simply told me to stop eating so much and start exercising more then ended with "It's really not that hard". My dad is a GREAT person, but he just didn't get it. I had my surgery in July of 2007 in Detroit, Mich. performed by Dr. Matthew Weiner. I live in Central Ohio. From July of 2007 to September 2009, I struggled horribly, due to my doctor not filling me properly, and when I say not properly, I am talking 10 fills, and every fill for about 5 in a row, he told me I had 6.5 cc's in my band and he was giving me .5 cc's. I went from 228 to 186 then back up to 215. Until I finally got hooked up with fillcentersusa and got them to actually stop toying with me and give me a fill. I have lost 30 pounds since September 12 because after more than 2 years, I finally got restriction. 2 weeks ago, my father told me he thinks the surgery really was right for me and he's glad I had it done. I think he needed to see for himself that it does work.

It is possible that your friend cannot stand the idea of you getting skinny too.

[nana1014 0]

I understand exactly how u feel, my 9year old daughter cried when i explained the surgery to her and my boyfriend and i had a fight everyday about the same thing until surgery date got closer and he saw that i was not backing down. Im 3weeks in now and everythings and everybody is ok..........They have been super supportive and understanding, they even help by eating better around me so i won't cheat:0)

[JeweI 2]

We broke the news to my MIL last night. Only because we live with her. She acted like the world was coming to an end. She was so angry. I just don't get it. It is my personal choice. I have alot of weight to lose and to keep off and this wasn't my first option. I am choosing it because diets don't work. I think sometimes we just haveto accept that others may have a differnt opinion. You know, Agree to disagree. Treatr the topic as off limits for this friend. If she gets really pushy about it I would take some time away from her maybe even for good.

[msdv 5]

Yes, that's why I don't tell anybody except those I absolutely have to what I'm planning to do. That includes my Hubby, my Sister and only 2 friends.

There are so many misconceptions about the surgery.

Then people have their own prejudices and issues regarding weight to deal with .

I have enough to deal with .

[Cingulus 0]

It is odd that so many people amongst our family and friends have such visceral reactions to the concept of WLS. So folks will never get it and all you can do is tell them you love them, you understand this bothers them and then proceed with your chosen course. It is an argument you can’t win since many people are forming their opinions from watching Oprah or from the Discovery Channel or based on fear for you or themselves. We all know the WLS is not easy and most of us have made dozens of attempts at diet/exercise so if that had worked we would be done. A number of people have point to the biggest loser as an example of how it can work; I also remind them that these people quit their jobs and have full time trainers, nutritionist and cooks supporting them. I applaud their efforts and results, but that is not an option for me, and I suspect, many people here.

The difficulty/choice/method to tell people seems to be a recurring theme on this board. Just try to remember that others will not always understand and that is OK. In the end you have to live in your body, make it the one you want and forgive those who don’t understand.

[gingerjane 5]

Thank you everyone for your support! I hate that so many of us have had this type of reaction from a friend or loved one.

The best thing I have heard over this ordeal so far is that a mutual friend of ours asked me if she would be this upset if I said I was having a boob job. The answer was no. It's amazing how things are looked at so differently.