is it going to be different?????

[2Flyguys 13]

i have recently decided to get divorced...its ending on a very happy friendly note....when i met my husband i was morbidly obese and have been with him all the way to goal...i had an extremely low self-esteem...i settled for anyone when i was over weight....now my self-esteem is through the roof...last friday i went out with my ex...that i dated all while i was over-weight...he is very unattractive to put it lightly...and not to sound shallow...which i'm sure i will...sorry...but to b honest these days he would not even have gotten my name...again just being honest...i was too self-concious to ever and yes i mean ever take my clothes off...now its a completely different story...is it going to be different dating now...i feel like it is...and its actually pretty scary to me...

[allielee 263]

Hey there.. sorry to hear about your divorce. I wish you alot of luck in the dating world. xoxo

[2Flyguys 13]

i'm sooooooooooooooo not looking forward to it!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm hoping the treadmill at the gym is single....lol

[jen925 0]

Hey 2Fly, I am wishing you all of the luck in the world. I do know exactly what you are talking about. 70 lbs ago, I dated this guy for 2 years and to be honest he's not a guy that girls are waiting at his front door to date. He's not that good looking and has nothing going for him. Yes I know I'm sounding totally bitchy, but I was SETTLING for a nothing. I am a beautiful, educated young lady that really hasn't had any serious relationships to date, but he just made me worse. We would hang out eat junk and watch TV or movies. There was not a physical part of the relationship because I wasn't comfortable with myself. I know that I have to take responsibility for my own actions but it didn't help that he was helping become a worse person, bc he didn't care. But I was comfortable with the fact that this nasty a$$ guy was into the "old" me...and it meant the world. Again I don't want to sound shallow like you say, but I am worth more than that. So he eventually stopped calling and would wait a month and call again, and just kept playing around...never got serious. So then I knew that he wasn't serious, he was just bored. In the beginning of 2009 I was contemplating WLS, eventually May 2009 I had it and have lost 70 lbs to date. He's now showing interest and always trying to hang out with me and stuff like that but I reject him over and over. Eventually I told him that he was 70 lbs ago and I'm done. I told him that I deserved better....and the sad part is he agreed with me. So now I am dating someone.....MYSELF....I treat myself to the best things in life, I take care of me by eating healthy, working out religously, buying myself nice things and just loving me. When the time is right....I will find the right guy. For now it's all about me!

FYI 2Fly....you inspire me!! I know you hear it all of the time.......but what is one more person telling you....so thaaaaaaaaaaaaank you!

[lilaz602 0]

You have to do what's right for you. Just be careful! No matter what size we are sometimes the guys that approach us are not worthy. Have fun and take it slow.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Fly, what you describe has happened to so may obese women who take charge and, by whatever means, lose the excess pounds for good. There is an element of settling when your opinion of yourself is that you are less than the best available. By the same token, I know that divorce, even if it truly is the only option you have left, is painful and represents a huge amount of stress.

I wish you a brighter 2010 for sure. The dating world is hard and that I don't wish on anybody but being alone (and you do have your son, too!) is often 100% better than being with someone that doesn't bring happiness into your life.

[xpress1026 0]

Best of luck! it is hard being a single mom. My number one advise protect yourself and most importantly your heart. They easily get broken and sometimes very hard to repair. Wish you all the best and the God Bless u and your son!!!

[lacasst 1]

Hey Fly, I wish you the best of luck with everything!! Sometimes i think in the process of weightloss we really start to recognize and get to know the "real" us....And sometimes that changes things.Trust yourself and put your happiness first,dont settle!! Take care!!

[Laura Lane 0]

yes it will be different....you have already experienced it....now you feel sure about your image and your self esteem is right there where you want it to be. goodluck and enjoy your dates.