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Alcoholism in loved ones



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Robyn,

Could you please explain more of what you are looking for?

There's several of us that have loved ones that are classified as "alcoholics".

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Robyn, please know that you can get in touch privately at any time. I have experience and would be happy to share if you aren't comfortable talking here.

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I have experience with it as well. It's alot of info to just start typing out, but like was said, if you'll let me know what you are lookin' for, I can try and help.

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My sperm-doner person is an alcoholic. I've hated him for years. I never got one card, one letter, one message my entire life. I didn't know he existed till I was 18. When I met him, I met this man with a wife and two kids that had everything. They were living my life, while I was stuck with a mentally ill, abusive, neglectful monster (Momster.) I got to know him more as I got older. He told me "I already screwed up one set of kids so I had to work extra hard to give the second set everything." Did he have any idea how bad that stung - and still does?

So I've hated him, and I've thought that he could die and I wouldn't even feel a thing. Last week I found out he's probably going to die soon. He's got liver disease. He called me on my birthday and didn't even tell me - he just acted like all was fine. But my sister heard through the family grapevine. As much as I've hated this guy my whole life, it's killing me to know he'll really die one day, let alone soon.

It's so weird. I don't even know the guy (have only been around him 4 times in my life.) But when I met him, we even freaked out my husband. I'm him in girl form. The way we move, our stuborn bullheaded nature - even the way we shake our salt. I know damn well I could turn into an alcoholic in my older years if I'm not careful. I'm addicted to sugar, and alcohol is a form of sugar.

I'm not sure where you wanted this to go, but it makes me really sad. Alcoholism can steal your life - even if you've never touched a drop.

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I have extensive experience with alcoholic/addicted family members. Attended AlAnon/Adult Children of Alcoholics for 12 years and still declare they pretty much saved my life and sanity. Ask away.

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I have an alcoholic father. If there's anything I can do to offer support, please let me know.

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I think anyone of us can help you out or just lend a ear or shoulder or anything you want. I don't think any of us woul dmind you PM'ing or emailing. Take care!

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Anyone who says they don't have experience with some type of alcoholic "family" member would be a very rare person. We all gottem somewhere.

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Robin, where are you? I sent you a PM, in case you haven't checked it. I"m a former Al-Anon member, also. Great orgnization, and I learned a lot. Between that and God, I have a whole new life. Good luck, Cindy

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This is an interesting thread....think it'll go anywhere? I am surrounded by alcoholism - My mother, my biological father, three of my four grandparents, several aunts/uncles and most recently, my brother. What a horrible disease this is. I don't drink at all and never will. For me, it simply isn't worth it.

I have no contact with my biological father(I was adopted by my stepfather in 5th grade) - he is in a nursing home wth alcoholic dementia. My mom was sober for several years and has been on and off for awhile now. Currently she is in AA with a sponser and doing very well. My younger brother "came out" of the alcoholic closet in May of 07. He finally went to treatment at the beginning of November of 07 and currently has 8 1/2 months of sobriety. My mom and brother are the two that I am the closest with and affect me the most.

Funny enough, I ended up working on a unit(I am an RN) that just so happened to start a detox program. I am glad it happened that way because it gave me additional training and education specific to alcoholism and alcohol wd.

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I know this is a very old thread but I just saw it pop up. My Brother is dying of alcoholism right now. He is living with my parents which isn't helping the situation. He had 3 drunk in publics against him. He drinks at least 2 5th a day. He is unemployed for at least a year or 2. My parents don't help the situation by letting him live with them. He hasn't hit rock bottom yet. He has been found unresponsive on side walks, parks and the like. He has crashed his bike. He is currently in driving school, which he is now missing to get his breath alizer removed from his car. He has a license but that will be revoked since he hasn't been going to his classes. What a mess. We think he needs to be homeless to get it together. The most sober he has been is 50 days. He went to rehab twice in the last year or so. My parents paid $17k for that and it hasn't helped. So this is my story unfortunately. He will probably outlive all of us. We call him the cat with nine lives. He has been in motorcycle drunk accidents, DUI, drunk in public, just about everything. He missed his court dates recently so maybe he'll be put away for a few months. That may help.

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I lost my mum 10 years ago to cirrosis of the liver, after 15 years of living with -as we affectionatly called her - the ninjashebitch from hell.

I loved her to pieces and still find it hard to come to terms with it all sometimes.

I was given loads of advice including the 'let them hit rock bottom'.....she did.... and then she died. In my experiance the problem with that advice is, after they are gone you are left with the knowledge/guilt/horror that you abandoned them.

Just my honest opinion

Nina x

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