SO Stressed and Cannot Stop Eating!

[scarlottaitalia 0]

Hi Everyone,

Normally, I wouldn't put all my business out on the internet like this but I'm feeling stressed and am trying to be proactive and connect with others who know how life is in our condition.

Last week I went to my first consultation and the next few weeks I am going to do a bunch of appointments to get approved for surgery. Today I went for my physical therapist appointment and had to prove that I'm healthy enough to do exercise after surgery. I already exercise quite a bit. I did however feel a bit as though the therapist was trying to be thoughtful of my feelings as they relate to not saying out loud exactly what type of surgery I am having, which I appreciate.

The tough part of all of this is that after attending the seminar and just paying attention to myself since my first appointment I think I'm coming to see myself the way I am to others. Morbidly obese. It makes me so sad. How did I let this happen? Why did I let this happen? I'm so angry at myself! I know that we're all struggling but at a certain point, where do we delineate personal responsibility for our own actions? I've always been taught to be responsible for my actions and I just think that at some point, I should be responsible for being this big.

I never wanted to be big. I don't think any of us do. I'm a bright, friendly, confident woman with lots to offer the world. Maybe I have a problem with valuing myself and that's why I eat.

I have a lot of fear about this whole process. What if I fail? I have always failed at weight loss. What if I'm just a self destructive person by nature and transfer my addiction to food to something else? I want to be a healthy, happy, loving person who contributes positivity and light to this world.

Sorry to rant, but I just really need to connect to those who get it. Thanks for reading.

[UpperWestSide 3]

Scarlotta:

Your post is so open and honest that I just had to reach out. All of those things that you are now realizing are not the all of who you are. As a "I'm a bright, friendly, confident woman " you will be surprised to see how many people don't think of you as morbidly obese before those other things. Many people who are overweight still present themselves as confident people. It does not always go hand in hand that we obese people crawl to the corner of the room so not to be noticed. So don't think that this process needs to change how you see yourself. But having said that, it can be very helpful if you are open to examining yourself in new ways.

I always thought I knew why I ate and why I was overweight. I must be an emotional eater. But going through this process has given me insight into the more complex reasons behind my eating. And I could not have done that without being open to envisioning myself in a new way.

Take advantage of opportunites to investigate within yourself. If you have not had therapy, now would be a good time to invest in some. It makes the process a bit easier if you take the time to look inside yourself. Also, the stress of making these eating changes can really test even the best of us. So give yourself the gift of some extra help. It has made a big difference for many of us.

And keep posting here. There are many people who will help with this journey and give you advice. But just remember that not everyone here has the same Dr. giving the same medical advice. Listen to your Dr. and ask a lot of questions. That is what you are paying them for.

Good luck with this journey. I never thought I could find a path back to health. I beleive I have and, 5 months out, I would not change a thing. Sure it's early for me. But I have all the confidence that I am on the right path.

[Yvette1026 0]

Everything upperwestside said and then some.

What you're going through is a part of the process. You're really truly looking at yourself and seeing where you can make change. Don't worry about you got this way and who's fault it is, renew your mind and think positively..you're doing something about it!

Failure is necessary to know what Success is. We've all failed on multiple diets before or we wouldn't be here having lapband. You're doing what you need to do to get to where you want to be.

Reward yourself for it. Be proud of yourself for it. You're an amazing person, accept it :thumbup:

[kagead 0]

I am just starting on this journey and after spending tons of time on this forum, I am firmly convinced that a "holistic" surgical approach is the right one for me, and I am glad I chose the group I did.

Believe me, I am as anxious as everyone else to get the band and start living my new life, but I am so happy that my surgery will not take place for 3-4 months from now at the very earliest.

I will be working with a team of professionals from nurse practitioners, psychologists, nutritionists, primary care doctors and surgeons (not to mention previous surgical recipients who sit on Q&A panels) who have one single focus- making sure I am SUCCESSFUL after I am banded. I will be spending a great deal of time over the next several months examining why and how I eat, what will change in the short term and what to expect in the long term.

If you have the chance to get on board with a surgical group who has a full-service plan in place, I encourage you to do it. For me, having such a strong framework in place is easing much of my stress.

Good luck to you!

kagead

[ready4nume 1]

:thumbup:I can totally relate you. I don't know how I got this big either...... i know it sounds funny but sometimes i feel like I just woke up one day and couldn't fit into any of my clothes. i am sure you as well as 99% of us have all tried every diet under the sun and that's why we need this TOOL... please do not bash yourself over how we got this way but focus on that YOU ARE AT LEAST BRAVE ENOUGH, AND COMMITTED AND DETERMINED ENOUGH TO USE THIS TOOL!

That takes major guts.... YOU ARE STILL A BRIGHT, AMAZING PERSON you as well as me and others are just people that need an extra tool to lose some weight. I don't remember if it was something I read on another lapband site but it said that like 90% of people that try diets lose weight only to gain it back plus some..... 5% don't lose any and the other 5% lose it and keep it off.....

so really when you think about it we are a majority in that we need help (lapband) to lose weight and keep it off.

I am so proud of you for airing your concerns and I think your are going to be glad you decided to go ahead with the procedure.

Best wishes!