Mental Block...Why do I do this?

[bashful1269 5]

I've been banded since July and have done fairly well I've lost 38 pounds. Here's my problem, I reach my first goal weight which is 227 and then it's like I freak out. I start making bad food choices and the scale goes up. Then I get mad at myself and think I'm a failure and can't do this band thing.

I don't know if I need another fill, I get stuck if I eat to fast, but if I chew like I'm supposed to I can eat way more than I am supposed to.

I've been back to the shrink and she hasn't helped...It's not easy for me to talk about things that bother me. I've only been twice and wondering if I should go back. I've thought about writing it all out and emailing it to her so that maybe she can help draw it out of me that way.

I'm a sugar addict, once I start I just can't stop. IT SUCKS! I have no will power when it comes to that.

If anyone has been through this or if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE HELP!

Thanks!

[Mimilou2004 13]

Bashful, when I got down to 140 a few weeks ago I was both happy and something else. I found myself on a 3 day chocolate (Dove) binge where I ate FOUR BAGS of the candy all by myself. I told anybody (friends I mean) who would listen and the concensus that was reached was that I was torn about my success. I was happy and scared and not sure I deserved it. I finally realized I did deserve to lose wt, even after all these years of being very heavy. My binge ended on its own and I still have a few pieces left that are not yet screaming my name. Talking about it out loud to non judgemental supportive ppl was invaluable. I got back on my food plan and continued to exercise. I hope you find your sticking point and work this out, because the band doesn't help with slider and comfort food eating.

Best wishes,

Mimi

[Lana24 10]

hi BASHFUL,

I can sympathize with you. I am in the category of sugar addict as well. And really the band doesn't do much to control that part.

I also would reach a certain weight and then start packing the pounds back on. I was sick and saddened to watch myself work so hard to lose 5 pounds just to gain back 10.

So I started soul searching and asking myself seriously what is wrong. But I had to to stop putting myself down first of all.

I confronted myself and realized that at a certain weight was when I last felt my thinniest but I was also the unhappiest of my whole life. My marriage was ending and I was having a lot of family problems to boot. Then I gave the problem to God and God said, just skip it. Skip the depressing part you have already lived it. There is no reason to be unhappy for another day. So I just skipped it, I skipped right over that actual number, surpassed it and rationalized that NOW I am the thinnest I have ever been in my adult life and I am finally happy. The scale started to move again with ease because NOW I am in unfamilair territory, all I know at this weight is happiness.

I realized I was just agonizing over every little thing. So I had to put myself in check. Sometimes I crave unhealthy things, it is a fact of life. But I do the best I can to balance that out with diet and proper exercise.

I'm not perfect but I had to realize this was about my own self image, my own thinking, I was sabotaging myself over and over because deep down at that one weight I was miserable. It was like an automatic reaction, almost like a gag reflex but an EAT reflex...lol

So my advise, soul search, cut yourself some slack and live.

Weigh loss is no longer rocket science to me. I no longer weigh, I judge by how my cloths fit. I also find that when I am in a healthier, happier frame of mind, that sugar stuff is no longer appealing to me. Funny how that stuff used to "rule" my universe. How could I go a day without it...

[kkarryall 0]

First off....I do think you should get a fill. Once you lose more weight you will have more self control and confidence...and you need to band to help get you there.

Second, I think you should keep going to your therapist. I have gone to my therapist for about 1 1/2 years and I am just starting to get to the bottom of things!!

Good luck!

[Fae 0]

I'm a sugar addict, once I start I just can't stop. IT SUCKS! I have no will power when it comes to that.

This sounds more like a band problem than a mind problem. The band is in there to make you stop eating after a certain point. You can't go on and on forever no matter how good the food is, because you will simply throw up and make yourself horribly sick.

You ether need some more fill or it maybe that even though your throwing up, you eat anyway? I know some people won't stop even after they are pain : /

[bandedbird 0]

Hi,

I haven't been with the forum in a long time. Mostly because I feel like you. I was banded 1 year last October. I lost 35 pounds from 220. Now I am back up to 200 lbs. But, I did it to myself eating all the wrong things, too many Snacks in between. I can not eat alot at one meal, never have been able to even before the band, but I tend to graze all day and at the end of the day, I feel terrible. Ice cream, chocolate go down well and I eat it every day. But, I don't keep track of it. If I wrote down what I ate and kept a food log the way I am suppose to, I would be at goal weight by now, enjoying my new body and love clothes shopping again, and to know I look good. My ailments are coming back on me too. Back and hip aches, allergies which I was feeling better with the weight off. My clothes are tight, some small sizes I can't wear. I've stopped going to the gym. So guess who's sabotaging herself.....me. My band works like it's supposed to but I'm not. I need to turn it around, I don't know why I don't care at this point. Maybe because my future looks gloomy. I need a push, either that or a boot you know where...