Everyone's 5 New Years Resolutions

[GraciesMom 0]

So many times I have come to LBT to read the many threads that are posted only to find so many filled with terrible advice, non- medical based opinions, suger coated rah-rah replies, and just general comments that could be medically harmful.

When someone posts that their doctor will not let them do something, then so be it! That dr. has a reason for his orders, and often it can be specified just for that individual. What right do we have, not knowing that person to tell them, "it's ok, because my doctor says I can".

With that said, I would like to summit to you 5 New Years Resolutions for us all, with a commitment if you will, to do the following:

1) Agree that all dr.s and their requirements are different, and as such, will no longer impart your opinion over what the posters dr. has told them.

2) No longer give medical advice based soley on your experience, but in fact support what the posters dr.s instuctions are, and refer them back to their dr. to answer the questions.

3.) Will inspire and encourage without neglecting the reality of what this journey entails. Another words, do not suger coat when someone faulters, but help them caringly to get back up and walk the path of their new lifes journey.

4.) Share only what you know, do not speculate on this persons emotions. We all are anxious as we advance through this journeys stages, so be kind and honest or don't post at all!

5.) Above all, be truly supportive. If people want sympathy for their errors they can just cry on their family and friends shoulders and get all they want, but they come here to get the support and truth they really need. Each of us here needs to hear what others have accomplished and how they overcame their personal struggles.

Lets be all we can be inside and out, and live our new lives with honesty, integrity, and a heart full of caring sharing for each other and those who have yet to join LBT.

[tarajim 20]

Sorry, I cannot possibiy support this list.

We are a support group of ADULTS. My Dietician gave the same general instructions to a large group of people at the same time. How could these possibily be tailored to me or based on a medical assessment. My DOCTOR gave NO nutrition advice at all!

The world is full of resources of information. I feel it is imperative to understand what you are getting into with this surgery and learn all you can about it. What I have observed is that there is a wide range of opinions from the doctors and Nutritionist that advise the people on this board.

Therefore, I believe people should seek opinions here and learn what others are doing by asking questions and getting opinions. It is helpful to help make ADULT decisions. I do not believe that one Doctor is smarter then the collective knowledge of ALL the doctors represented by the people that post here.

Some people feel medical advice is rigid and non flexible and that doctors are all knowing. While I respect a doctors education and opinion, I know that I am more able to challenge it if I can become educated on my specific situation. I believe that is what people here are doing.

I was banded Monday. I have followed the Nutritionist plan for the most part, not eaten any solids, but not consuming the three full Protein shakes I am allowed every day. Does this mean I have voided my doctors advice?

I do agree we should be frank in giving opinions, as long as it can be done without personal attack and hurt. People come here for information, validation and encouragement. Rah-Rah is good, as is honesty.

I have respected some of your other posts, and value your opinion, but I cannot support you asking others to take your view of life as the only correct way to respond on this support board.

Thanks for all you inputs...

TJ

[GraciesMom 0]

Sorry, I cannot possibiy support this list.

We are a support group of ADULTS. My Dietician gave the same general instructions to a large group of people at the same time. How could these possibily be tailored to me or based on a medical assessment. My DOCTOR gave NO nutrition advice at all!

I agree, but my point was that your instructuons were given to your group by a dietician that probably was approved by your surgeon, therefore all of that information was what your doctor wants for his/her patients.

The world is full of resources of information. I feel it is imperative to understand what you are getting into with this surgery and learn all you can about it. What I have observed is that there is a wide range of opinions from the doctors and Nutritionist that advise the people on this board.

That is exactly my point, there is alot of information out there, some of it very erroneous and not healthy. And the point of all the variations is that it is the doctors choice for their patients whatever they are, right or wrong, it is theirs. Therefore it is not our jobs on this board to tell a person that their doctoe is wrong because your doctor does something in a entirely different way. For example, the day I had my surgery, there was 4 people out of 16 that suddenly developed complications and required different medicine, treatments, and one had to stay over another night. We all had the same doctors, but each reqiure their own personalized care plan. That is why I am enraged often when I see people here freely diagnose (in their opinions or experience) and then tell them what to do, when in reality they should empathize with them and stress the importance of following what the posters doctor wants, and often encourage them to pick up the phone and call their Dr.

I actually saw a post where someone was vomiting almost everything she had put in her mouth and was like that for weeks. She was finally getting concerned after all that time , but LOVED that she was wasting away (my words not hers). There was actually posters who said nothing to her about calling her surgeon, or getting herself to a ER promptly, but instead joked about her losing weight so fast.

Therefore, I believe people should seek opinions here and learn what others are doing by asking questions and getting opinions. It is helpful to help make ADULT decisions. I do not believe that one Doctor is smarter then the collective knowledge of ALL the doctors represented by the people that post here.

No, people are seeking advice, and we can share that, but when it comes to medical issues it is our responsibility to be responsible and again, encourage their contacting their doctor for the answer.

Some people feel medical advice is rigid and non flexible and that doctors are all knowing. While I respect a doctors education and opinion, I know that I am more able to challenge it if I can become educated on my specific situation. I believe that is what people here are doing.

Again, I agree with you , but to a point. Recent examples, the use of a straw, drinking coffee, having a glass of wine, drinking soda, when to have sex after surgery, etc...these things can all be a self decision all made based on personal preference or experience whether their doc says yea or nay.

However, again, when someone is quite literally vomiting their life away, it behooves any reponsible adults to strongly encourage medical intervention.

I was banded Monday. I have followed the Nutritionist plan for the most part, not eaten any solids, but not consuming the three full Protein shakes I am allowed every day. Does this mean I have voided my doctors advice?

No, but that is your choice, not the one that experts gave you, and more importantly that is what you feel is right for you. Where it becomes wrong is when you express to someone who is naively so eager to lose the weight that they take it upon themself to follow what you did, ignoring the fact of the real need for that amount of Protein and caloric intake that the healing body needs.

I do agree we should be frank in giving opinions, as long as it can be done without personal attack and hurt. People come here for information, validation and encouragement. Rah-Rah is good, as is honesty.

Absolutely, and you have a point. Some people simply have the inability to use tact or an intuitive sense of what is right or appropriate to say, so that is a sticky point. But why validate, encourage, and cheer on admitted behaviors that got them to this point to begin with. What we all need is a gentle nudge in the right direction, and sharing of anedotes of solutions that have worked for us to help get them back in the right direction.

I have respected some of your other posts, and value your opinion, but I cannot support you asking others to take your view of life as the only correct way to respond on this support board.

Thank you, and I appreciate your expressing your views, they are an important part of this board and respected as well. I am elated that you showed the caring enough to respond, and after all that is the basis of this whole thing. :Yawn:

Thanks for all you inputs...

And a sincere thanks TJ for yours as well! Your points are all well taken.:sad:

BTW, my eldest daughters name is Tera, is yours???

~Cheryl

Edited November 29, 2009 by GraciesMom

[john47 0]

Sorry, I cannot possibiy support this list.

TJ

Agree 100 %, I wish more doctors read the advice given by the collective voice of these support forums. They would then be better educated to impart that advice to some of their patients.

I have found the advice to be priceless. I would not have known how to cope if the only knowledge I had was what my doctor had told me.

[ElfiePoo 109]

I have to say I agree with Tarajim. Our doctors are not infallible. They should be looked at as nothing more than another source of information and guidance...but ultimately we know our bodies better than they do because we live with them day in and day out.

The original post op eating plan given to me by my doc and nut was one full week each of liquids, mushies, purees and soft before going on to regular food. This is what the Realize Band folks teach and this is what my doc and nut teach. However, when I questioned my doc about the rationale for this approach (since I was doing so well), he said that he was doing so well after surgery (he also has a band) that he used his own judgment and only stayed on each phase for 3-4 days and, since I know my body better than he does, to use my best judgment when deciding what to do.

My doc also lets me decide when I want my fills although he doesn't do the first fill until 4 weeks post op (which is this Wednesday)...but I can come in weekly to get another fill until I reach the point where I need/want to stop.

As with any medical condition, it is our responsibility to research as much as possible and, while I love my doc and his entire staff and feel they gave me (and continue to give me) excellent information and care, it is through this list that I have learned the most and knew the right questions to ask from the beginning.

There are all types of doctors out there and to just willy nilly support them? No can do. What I can do is share my experience and personal knowledge. They're adults and what they do with that is up to them.

As for providing support...Amen to that. Some posters tend to be a bit brutal in their response which is unnecessary. We can be truthful (even when the truth hurts) and still remain compassionate and caring.

.

[Just-Ice 1]

I see what the original poster means. Yes, people tend to down play what other doctors have said. I understand what you meant was to NOT tear down the original doctors orders and say .. "well you don't have to do what your dr says, you can do what MY dr says.." our doctors DO have reasons for what they say - believe it or not. I see no problem with advice.. I really just think that reading the first post was takien at face value and not really read into to find what she truly meant.

I also see where the rah-rah can be harmful. For instance, I'm following another thread where the original poster of that thread has totally screwed up their eating habits again. NO ONE has said "look, you screwed up.. get back on track", instead it's been all "it's ok..".. well, frankly, it's not ok. If someone is willing to go through surgery to have a healthier life, it is NOT ok to backslide into what got us here to begin with. Now.. I realize I have not been banded yet, however, that does not negate what I say. I do understand that I may backslide, and I would expect someone to grab me by the shoulders and give me an ear full.. I would deserve that. And if someone else were being totally honest with me.. they'd do just that.

Just my opinion.. take 'em for what they are worth to you.