Who did you tell? Everyone?

[jvw2009 0]

I just had my first doctor's appointment and I have to go through a 3 month weight loss program before my surgery, so my surgery date hasn't been set. The only person who knows that I will be getting banded is my husband. I'm unsure about telling my friends and my family for fear of hearing that this is just another gimmick or hearing that they wish they could get the band too. None of my immediate family or friends is obese, so they have no concept of what a struggle weight loss is. Do I tell others? Who did you tell?:thumbup:

[pinklily27 61]

Hello, i a new to this forum and you are my first post!

I waited awhile to tell people as i was unsure of thier reactions. My surgery is scheduled for december 8th. I started telling people about a month ago. I have found a mixed bag of reactions. Some people are very supportive and excited for me while others are seem to want to talke me out of it. Sometimes people who don't even really know me feel the need to make comment about it. That annoys me. At first i felt the need to explain myself to those nay sayers but then i realized they don't live in my body so they couln't possibly understand my health and my point of view. Besides their opinions do not matter much. I only care about my loved ones and close friends, they are all very supportive. I'm glad i told people. It strengthened my resolve and i was able to show people that i was not ashamed of my decision but that i was proud of making one that will probably save my life! Hope all goes well with you.

[alicia3138 1]

At first only my mother and brother knew. I decided to tell a few friends. One was extremely supportive, another was pretty ok, one other friend was telling me how she wished she could get it (she's like a size 4), and another "friend" said "lazy...have you been going to the gym?". needless to say i won't be talking to her much anymore. basically, i wish i hadn't told any of my friends. not really worth it, although i supposed you figure out who your real friends are.

[DeltaGurl 0]

@Alicia - Yeah, I had a friend ask me have I tried Portion Control? Uhhh I have PCOS...my body has no idea about portion control. My mind does, but my body doesn't! Poo on the friend thinking that the gym was the bomb for you!!!:thumbup:

[allielee 263]

I told EVERYONE lol even strangers and I really never got a bad reply.. I was and am so excited about it. This saved my life who cares how it happened but it saved me. If someone ever was negative I wouldn't care but I needed to tell everyone to help keep me in line. I knew if I kept it a secret I wouldn't be held as accountable if I didn't lose. I had to work hard, I had to follow the band rules, if I didn't I wouldn't lose and everyone would know. Soooo it worked for me I hit goal before a year, I am now wayyy below my original goal have lost over half of my orgiginal body weight and just had plastic surgery as the cherry on top. Good luck and there really is no right answer. You have to do what is right for you :thumbup:

[nlawlor341 0]

I had the same experience as Allie. I had to tell everybody and didn't get one bad reaction. I still haven't had my first fill yet, but I know I made the right choice. That's all that matters :thumbup:

[DizzyLizzy 21]

I first just told my husband and parents. Once I told my teenage daughter, she told her teenage cousins, who told their parents, so word is all around the family now. I told my boss after my first visit with my surgeon and knew that I was going through with it, which was back in September. I just told a few of my co-workers, only because we were discussing the menu for our office holiday gathering, which will be while I'm on my liquid diet and I knew they would ask questions as to why I'm sipping on Protein Shakes instead of eating! I've gotten all good reactions, mostly "if you think this is good for you, I hope it works for you." My older brother has been really the only naysayer, and that was just in the beginning, telling me I should just continue dieting and excercise. But, I explained to him that I have been doing that and haven't been able to lose anymore significant weight, so he understands now that I'm at the point where I need help.

But, I'm one of those people who when I set my mind to something, no one can convince me otherwise, so it didn't matter what anyone else thought...lol!

[TinaM 0]

I had a 6 month program and am now scehduled for surgery Dec 15th.

I told my boss during month 2 that I was having surgery and what type so he could schedule projects accordingly.

I told HR I would be taking medical leave during month 3 - they don't know why and its not required they know just a letter stating I need to be out - so people you don't have to disclose.

I told my parents during month 4 as well as 4 very close friends all in different parts of the county. (they know type of surgery)

Last week I notified my direct reports that I would be out for a week tending to some medical issues but will be back in form on 12/21.

Today, I emailed my siblings what was going on so they would know why I wasn't flying home for Christmas this year.

So I have about 15 people who know the type of surgery I'm having and another 10 or so will realize what type I had when they see the weight come off.:frown:

I see it as a very personal decision, I know many people scream from the rooftops, while others tell just their ride home.

You need to do what you feel most comfortable in doing. For me I hold an executive position and rarely miss work so my direct reports would know instantly if I wasn't in for a couple of days something wasn't right and I didn't want to risk them showing up on my doorstep since 2 live in my neighborhood!:thumbup:

I figure 6 months to a year from now, I'll be more confortable sharing the details like when someone says "You look fabulous, how are losing weight? what is your secret?" I can say proudly I have this extra tool that has really helped me and his name is Lap band

Edited November 25, 2009 by TinaM

[Amaris 0]

I have chosen not to tell very many people -- in fact, I haven't even told my mother! She lives 1300 miles away from me and would just worry and obsess about it. I may tell her after surgery, or I may not. I may just tell her I'm thinking about it to see what her reaction is and use that as my guide for telling her or not. Of course, if I tell her I'm thinking of it, then I start losing weight, she'll be able to figure it out!

Although I appreciate that the more people who know, the more people I'd have to be accountable to, I have spent my whole life under a weight-loss microscope and I choose not to do that this time! While I want everyone's support, I don't want to deal with their scrutiny or expectations at this point. Maybe once I start seeing some success, I'll want everyone to know. I'll just have to wait and see. I will say that of the five people who know that I'm considering this, I've had no negative experience with telling. Everyone is supportive, encouraging and curious.

As someone else said, telling is a personal decision. You just have to do what feels right to you. Good luck!

[BigMomma 0]

Other than my husband, kids and BFF , I told several people at work that I am having WLS but only two people know the actual date. So far I have only had positive reactions. I've told one brother and my sister. I'm not telling my mom.

Edited November 26, 2009 by BigMomma

[jvw2009 0]

Thanks to all of you for your replies. I still have a lot of thinking to do! Good luck to all of you!

[Maru_05 0]

@Alicia - Yeah, I had a friend ask me have I tried Portion Control? Uhhh I have PCOS...my body has no idea about portion control. My mind does, but my body doesn't! Poo on the friend thinking that the gym was the bomb for you!!!:thumbup:

I have PCOS too. Do u think is more difficult to us lose the weight? i will have my on jan 26th.

[timetobefree 5]

I have told a handful of people. Normally I'm one to shout things from the roof top, but I decided this was something I was doing for ME, and I didn't need to answer to anyone about it. My husband, parents, and two good friends know, which is enough of a support system for me at this point.

I may tell more people in the future, but the way I see it is I can't untell people, so until I am 100% sure, I'm not saying anything.

Amy

[kimknight 0]

Im not going to tell anyone except my parents and husband. A year ago when I told people I was looking to get it done they said "your not big enough to get that done" and "why are you going to go thru surgery to get thinner when you could just diet" so when I got my date of 12/21/09 I haven't told anyone and I don't plan on doing so.