Kicking myself!

[Deekel 0]

I'm so mad at myself! Something happened this morning to really disappoint me. Basically my husband and I agreed that it would make more sense not to Celebrate Christmas together - no tree, no decorations, no gifts in order to buy for others and not go broke in the process. I guess part of me was disappointed that this will be the 2nd year in a row there will be no festivities in our house and rather than speak up because 1. I didn't want to sound selfish and 2. I really don't feel like going broke. I resorted to my old ways and tried to eat my pain away. I haven't had my first fill yet so I was able to really pack it in. I ate so much my ribs hurt! When am I going to learn?!?

[happy2lose 0]

Nobody should have to skip Christmas! Can't you still Celebrate the holiday without gifts? This is what we do. We still decorate the house and enjoy each other's company. Plan a special day at home with your family doing family things like playing a game or something.

As far as eating the pain away, did you realize what you were doing as you were doing it? I feel for you but you really need to find another way to deal with disappointment besides stuffing yourself. Change your focus and go for a walk or something.

Have you considered telling the people you buy for that money is tight this year and you just don't have the money for gifts? Make little trinkets instead or do some baking and give it ALL away.

Cheer up! This economy has to get better soon.

[GoddessNar 0]

You realized what you were doing and you stopped. You can and will do better tomorrow. We have all been there, I assure you. Also, you don't have to go broke in order to Celebrate the holidays. There's nothing wrong with a few handmade decorations or gifts. Let your creativity come through and I'm sure you can think of something that won't cost very much at all. *hugs*

[Northern Mist 2]

Celebrate cheap!

Go for a walk in the snow - look at lights in different neighborhoods this year!

Hand make gifts or do something extra special as your gift - clean out his vehicle, give him a nice massage, Classic movie night (especially the ones he likes) etc.........

Maybe decorating with what you have will bring in the Christmas spirit and make you feel better.

Everyone falls off the wagon - run and jump back on! Don't beat your self up.

[Dreamachiever 0]

I'm getting a voice, myself. It's new and it's wonderful! Don't kick yourself. Just speak up without wondering how he's going to perceive you. Easier said than done, but with practice... :biggrin:

It's awesome that you've stopped and noticed and are even sharing it with a group. That takes strength!

It's hard to break old habits. Give yourself 21 days and like the other one said, each time you want to open the fridge or the cupboard, sing, walk, crank up the music, do something different.

Have a beautiful day!

Dreamachiever

[ElfiePoo 109]

I guess part of me was disappointed that this will be the 2nd year in a row there will be no festivities in our house and rather than speak up because 1. I didn't want to sound selfish and 2. I really don't feel like going broke. I resorted to my old ways and tried to eat my pain away. I haven't had my first fill yet so I was able to really pack it in. I ate so much my ribs hurt! When am I going to learn?!?

Deekel,

So you recognize that you had an emotional eating moment. That's good! We aren't going to break bad habits overnight...but we can restructure our lives to lessen these moments.

I guess I don't see how you would be 'selfish' by not giving Christmas presents to others when you can't afford it...and let's face it, if you have to give up your own holiday to give gifts, then you can't...afford it that is. No shame in that. Times are tough.

So get your tree, put up your decorations and Celebrate the holiday. Then I would explain to family and friends that there just is no money to spend on gifts this year, but know they will understand. If it makes you uncomfortable to get gifts when you can't give, tell them this. You can always ask that if they feel the must give you something, to donate it to those even worse off than you...like the Salvation Army. Giving should be joyful, not stressful...and if you're emotionally eating at the thought of not having your own Christmas, then it's stressful and not joyful.

Take care of you.

.

[Deekel 0]

Thank you so much for your comments. I really feel like you understand what it's like to eat when you should be expressing yourself. I've decided that it was actually a pretty big moment for me to recognize that I was eating for a reason other than hunger. I realized after I was sitting there in physical pain, but the old me would have eaten all day long and probably tomorrow too. Instead I stopped, turned to all of you for support and I went for a walk to try to get rid of some of those extra calories. The walk helped clear my "carb fog". I'm going to be honest with our friends and ask if we can all get together for dinner and board games one night rather than buy each other presents. It would be nice to enjoy each other's company around the holiday. Last year my husband and I woke up and drove around town looking at other people's Christmas lights while listening to carols on the radio. It was really nice, but I'll speak up tonight and explain how much it would mean if we could decorate our own house a little. And that was a really good idea ElfiePoo- if our friends still want to do presents, I'll ask they donate to Toys For Tots instead. Thanks for listening and understanding. :biggrin:

[LollyMoe 1]

Deekel, you did good when you realized that you needed help and then went for a walk. When we are disappointed, food is what we turn too. However, the brain can be re-taught...it just takes hard work to do it.

As for Christmas, you know the reason for the season and you can make it a Holy one instead of gifts, gifts, gifts. It might not be a huge expensive holiday but try to find ways to make it fun instead.

Last year, our family celebrated a "garage sale" Christmas. Everyone bought gifts that they would put in a garage sale (not junk & not new), we held it in my SIL's garage (Birmingham, Al) and we played the Santa game. She had put up two strings of lights that looked like stars. She didn't have a tree or any other decorations in her house except a red cloth on the food table. We bought finger foods and we all had a wonderful holiday. We even invited some people that we knew were going to be alone.

Go to the dollar store and buy a table tree with lights. They have some that look pretty good, aren't expensive, and are festive looking. Put a $10.00 limit on your personal gift to each other. There is always something that you can buy even if it's rather small. Don't start the tradition of not giving to each other. If you can't give to the person that you have committed your life too, why would you want to buy for others?

Put on your thinking cap and go for it....you can do it.

[ElfiePoo 109]

The best gifts, I've always thought, are the ones that show 'thought'.

One year my husband gave me a 'coupon' book containing coupons for a back rub, foot massage, full body massage, carpet scrubbing, etc. It was probably one of the best gifts he's ever given me.

This year we're giving family and friends little containers of my home grown organic dried herbs. Last year I gave everyone 3 bars of my homemade soap. My 17 year old gave me 4 'gift' certificates for one day (each) of 'yard work without whining'. :thumbup:

A few years back we gave everyone a quart jar of 'bean soup' mix (dried Beans, a muslin bundle of seasoning/herbs and the recipe). It was a big hit.

I agree with Lolly...don't start a tradition of not giving to each other. Your partner is the most important person in your life and comes first.

[Dana36 0]

Deekel,

I see this a lot of those of us that struggle with our weight.. we put everyone and everything before ourselves. We take care of everything else before we take care of ourselves.

Just let your friends know that you are not going to exchange gifts this year, that you and your husband are planning a very quiet, intimate holiday at home. And then Celebrate with your husband, enjoy YOUR christmas and your new health!!!