Two Year Anniversary

[MeganA 35]

It’s been an amazing journey of many highs and some pretty low lows. I wouldn’t trade a second of it for anything. I am a new person because of my band.

Looking back, it really was the decision that I was worthwhile enough to take care of my health and sanity that changed my life. I was researching the bypass when I remembered seeing something on the news a year or so ago about this “band”. It didn’t take me long to discover the alternative to dissecting my stomach and forever changing the landscape of my digestive system.

I was in the right place at the right time and all it took was one phone call and I was considered for the FDA trials for a new type of band in the US- the Swedish Lap Band. From the time I called the surgeon’s office to the date of surgery was only two weeks. My surgery was free. My follow up is free. I understand how huge this is, now that I have read other’s stories of sacrifice. I know that I was simply lucky. There is no other explanation.

I steeled myself by researching everything I could about it and the other types of bands. I learned quickly the pros and cons and I decided that the positives far outweighed the negatives- with bypass or staying fat. I was still terrified of what would happen. I still am sometimes. I don't know what it's like to shop in a regular store or get a bunch of attention for my appearance.

I am a slow loser- but having never been thin in all my life, I think this is the way it was supposed to happen to me. I have time to adjust to this new body. I have time to adjust to the way that people treat me; the way I treat myself.

Everything has changed. I am no longer the same person. Yes, I still have the same morals and values; I still have the same heart that beats in my body and in my soul. But I have changed. I have stopped beating myself up for simply being me. I have stopped those tapes that told me over and over again that I was a failure and I’d never amount to anything. I have changed those tapes to say things like "so, you didn't make the best decision, you'll do better next time".

I have become more compassionate and considerate of others and their struggles. I think I was always so tightly wound up in my own pain that it left little room to truly feel the pain that others feel. I also have become much more compassionate with myself.

I have discovered that confidence really does make your eyes twinkle and your skin radiant. Good skin care products don’t hurt- but before I wouldn’t have spent the money on them because I didn’t think I deserved them.

"Ha", is what I say now. I deserve the best.

My relationship with food is drastically different. When I have good restriction, food is a bothersome necessity. I’m too busy to eat. When I don’t have good restriction, the demon is back and from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed I obsess over what I will eat next.

I’ve asked Penni to help me post some pictures. I still haven’t figured out how. That’s another thing I’ve changed- I can ask for help now. I know that I can’t do everything myself. I know that I am not perfect and no longer expect that from myself.

Dating is a whole new struggle now. Many of you have read my stories on here of love and loss…and I still have so much to learn. I fall easily and fast…and I am working on why and how to slow down. I have learned that “this guy” isn’t the last guy in the world that is going to show me attention- there are plenty more out there. When I was heaviest I would put up with horrendous treatment just so I wouldn’t feel alone. I would compromise my feelings and needs (and safety) so I wouldn’t be left. What I now realize is that I am a whole person without a guy in my life. And I am a much better partner and friend because I am whole. I also am a lot more fun, that’s for sure!

I just can’t say enough about the changes in my life. If you are a newbie to all of this- know that *you* are worth the journey. If you are just recently banded- know that it will get easier. If you’re a year or so out- know that there will come a day when you are too busy thinking about your life that you forget you have a band and you take a HUGE bite and you are quickly reminded. Habits form, and they make up a whole new life.

I’ll stop pontificating now. If you are still reading, thank you. I have found that telling my story is freeing. It also is a way that I can use the pain that I used to feel everyday about myself to help others. I also can see how far I have come and Celebrate where I will be in another year.

Thanks to all of you for your support the last two years. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Megan

[vinesqueen 2]

Oh Megan, thank you so much for posting this! Thank you for being a slow loser, I suppose that sounds wrong, but I don't care. You have always shown such amazing insight and compassion.

[NJChick 3]

Lovely post Megan, Thank you and CONGRATULATIONS !!!

[leatha_g 4]

Great post, Megan!! you have really done an awesome job and you are just getting better and better! I'm really proud of you and all that you have accomplished!

[Marimaru 7]

Wow, what an amazing post, congratulations!

[MeganA 35]

Here are my latest photos

[Alexandra 55]

Megan, you are beautiful and it is an honor and privilege to share this journey with you. Congratulations on two years and may there be many, many more years of banded bliss!!

[DeLarla 22]

I want to kiss you right on the lips! You'll always have a home in my heart and my house. xoxox Congrads.

[banded_for_life 2]

Congratulations Megan and you post really hit home with me. Thanks!!

[mousecrazy 2]

I wouldn't have missed a word of it! Thank you for honoring your self; in doing that, you honor all of us! You are a beautiful and amazing woman! Congratulations! Cindy

[aaamom 0]

Thank you. What a beautiful post from a beautiful woman ! I read it over and over again.

I have to go wipe away the tears right now......

[DevilMayKare 1]

Gosh Megan, you gave me the chills! What a wonderful, beautiful post from a beautiful woman.

Thank you!

[Vera 7]

Megan, You deserve the best!

Congratulations

I'm so happy for you

[jqpublic 1]

You truly are a amazing person,I am very happy to see your success...Good luck with your weight loss journy & happiness!

[Lioness81970 0]

Megan - I am SOOO proud of you!! I am so glad that you finally realized what a beautiful person you are both inside and out!! I wish you nothing but good times ahead and all the happiness you deserve!! Congratulations again!!