when will I feel differently about me?

[rachnett 1]

I'm not quite 3 months post op. I've lost a total of 38 lbs. I started at a size 20 jeans but yesterday I purchased a size 14! A 14. I wore a size 14 to work today, yeah right! Two sizes down in under 3 months, not too bad.

I was really excited when i tried them on and they fit perfectly. I was stoked to wear them to work today. But the day came and went and i realized I really don't feel any better in them. I still feel like a fat ass (pardon the politically incorrect adjectives but that's exactly how i feel).

When will i start feeling differently about myself? I realize 38lbs isn't a lot a lot but still, shouldn't i feel, I don't know better about me? Shouldn't i feel like i look differently? I've taken some recent pictures and i can't really even see a difference. I would have thought by now i would be able to.

Is it all in my head?

[isaviolinist 11]

Im really the same as you. I'm down 75 pounds since June, and I don't feel much different about myself. I can see a change in pictures a little, but as far as looking at myself in the mirror, or just the general way I feel when I'm walking around, nothing really feels different. I'm still a size 18 (although I think I started at a 24 or 26). Maybe when I get down to a 14 or 12 I will feel better.

[crzytchr 3]

I'm not quite 3 months post op. I've lost a total of 38 lbs. I started at a size 20 jeans but yesterday I purchased a size 14! A 14. I wore a size 14 to work today, yeah right! Two sizes down in under 3 months, not too bad.

I was really excited when i tried them on and they fit perfectly. I was stoked to wear them to work today. But the day came and went and i realized I really don't feel any better in them. I still feel like a fat ass (pardon the politically incorrect adjectives but that's exactly how i feel).

When will i start feeling differently about myself? I realize 38lbs isn't a lot a lot but still, shouldn't i feel, I don't know better about me? Shouldn't i feel like i look differently? I've taken some recent pictures and i can't really even see a difference. I would have thought by now i would be able to.

Is it all in my head?

Ok, yeah it is all in your head, but I completely understand. I started as a tight 26/28 and I am now a 14/16. I still see fat when I look in the mirror, because well, I AM still fat. It took a while, but I realize that even though I still have more weight to lose, I look a heck of a lot better than I did. I feel phenomenal and I am more confident. I just still have moments when I don't see a difference, and THAT is all in my head.

[HappyHomeCC 2]

I too have gotten into the 14s from 18 from the summer. 35 lb .... I am just starting to see it in my face so it is becoming more believable... my physical body feels better, my feet, joints, etc. My energy level... I think as that progresses and you are more involved you feel better. It is a head game I play... I am doing better. I do wonder how long it takes for the head to catch up with the body. My strategy is to be active and try new activities, go out side the box a bit to make it happen.

[LollyMoe 1]

I look in the mirror and still see the fat (b/c I am still fat), however, I do feel better, have more energy, and love the fact that my clothes are really getting sloppy on me from being too loose. I think as my health improves I will feel better about myself. I tell myself everyday that I am worthy of this band and then I do everything I can to help it help me.

Hang in there. It should get better. Keep giving yourself some pep talks. You deserve them. You will gain a lot more confidence with positive statements than negative ones.

[pappyny 0]

I have to agree that it's all in your head. And the head of almost everyone who loses weight.

I have been struggling with the same thing lately. I have lost 55 pounds, but I don't feel any different. I've lost 3 clothes sizes so I know there is a difference, I just don't see it.

Keep up what you're doing. Keep energized and I'm sure eventually you'll see what everyone else is already seeing in you.

[TracyNYC 4]

I am only down 25 lbs. and see no difference. I am upset b/c the goal they gave me at 5 ft 6 in is 160 lbs. That is over 100 pounds to lose and at 160 I STILL had to shop in Lane Bryant and Macy Woman. I want to shop in the normal dept. and LOVE the clothes from NY and CO. At 160 I was an 16 or 18. Very annoying to think all this and I will still be a fatty at the end wearing sacks from LB. I started at 289.

[BillOh 13]

When? To me it is not a specific date/event, but a gradual perception that you will eventually realize. At work there are people I don't see every day and the same can be said about people outside of work, the more you lose, the more people make comments and suddenly you realize what you have done is significant.

[pappyny 0]

I am only down 25 lbs. and see no difference. I am upset b/c the goal they gave me at 5 ft 6 in is 160 lbs. That is over 100 pounds to lose and at 160 I STILL had to shop in Lane Bryant and Macy Woman. I want to shop in the normal dept. and LOVE the clothes from NY and CO. At 160 I was an 16 or 18. Very annoying to think all this and I will still be a fatty at the end wearing sacks from LB. I started at 289.

TracyNYC - Sound like we started at pretty much the same weight. I am also almost the same height as you. I measure about 5' 6 3/4" so I claim to be 5' 7" :tongue_smilie:

As you lose weight and exercise you might find that you look differently than before. You might end up more toned than you were before. I wouldn't worry too much about the size you think you'll end up in. I set a goal weight of 160 and I believe that I'll be smaller than a 16 or 18. I know each person is different. That's just my opinion.

Karyn

[newdicarlo 0]

I am only down 25 lbs. and see no difference. I am upset b/c the goal they gave me at 5 ft 6 in is 160 lbs. That is over 100 pounds to lose and at 160 I STILL had to shop in Lane Bryant and Macy Woman. I want to shop in the normal dept. and LOVE the clothes from NY and CO. At 160 I was an 16 or 18. Very annoying to think all this and I will still be a fatty at the end wearing sacks from LB. I started at 289.

Tracy, we started at almost the same weight (I was 282 at the start of my journey), and 5'6" and my goal is 145 or a size 10, now back in college at 160 I could get into some size 10's, so I'm hoping that is the case again, BUT, not the point. The point is, I'm now in a 16 at almost 200 lbs, and I don't shop at LB anymore--I go to Old Navy, JC Penney, Target, Dress Barn, there are so many retailers whose sizes go up to 18 now, you just need to start looking at places other than LB--they are out there! And that alone makes me feel skinnier. Just not having to shop in "woman's world" is a feat unto itself. Be more patient, take a look in stores you haven't been in in a while, you may be surprised!

[BillOh 13]

I am only down 25 lbs. and see no difference. I am upset b/c the goal they gave me at 5 ft 6 in is 160 lbs. That is over 100 pounds to lose and at 160 I STILL had to shop in Lane Bryant and Macy Woman. I want to shop in the normal dept. and LOVE the clothes from NY and CO. At 160 I was an 16 or 18. Very annoying to think all this and I will still be a fatty at the end wearing sacks from LB. I started at 289.

Hang in there, it just makes it that much more worthwhile when you get there. My wife shopped at those stores for years, and I'll probably get this wrong, but there is a CJ Banks that is like Lane Bryant, but they have another store, frequently next to each other, but I remember how happy my wife was when she could go into the other store. It was almost a year, but she got there.

[untfluter 3]

I found your post very interesting because it is true...even though we are losing weight and inches... we stil see ourselves as fat... my surgeon has a saying and it is SOOO true... he says " It takes one hour to change the body but it takes 5 years to change your mind" so while the surgery to change our bodies only takes about an hour, it's going to take a few years for our mind to catch up to it... but just the fact that you have lsot 38 lbs, you should feel great about that and be very proud of yourself... Good job!! Keep up the good work!!

[Karen12345 61]

Yall, I hope I don't upset anyone but I felt compelled to share when I read your comments. Yes, it's gonna be really cool to shop in the "normal" stores and yes, it's gonna be nice to put on our shoes without it being a lot of work, but inside we are the same people and we are going to feel pretty much the same. If we were happy, grateful people fat, we will probably be the same. If we were miserable with ourselves and thought it was because life and people treated us differently because we are fat and that those things will change if we lose weight, we are really off track. I feel more beautiful and sexy now (and I did at 322) than I ever have in my life. I finally figured out that happiness has nothing to do with weight. Yes, I look forward to losing and wearing all sorts of cute clothes and being able to do more physical things and my feet not hurting and not having to take diabetes medication, but life will be the same. People love me fat and they will love me thin, but not because of my size.

[hanna61 4]

I didn't begin to feel better about myself until I made it though an incredibly rough spot without comforting myself with food. I have lost 82lbs since April 3rd and am 3 pounds away from being under 200 lbs or the first time in 31 years! It is only know that i can look at myself and say "no, i am not where i want to be but not only can i get there, but i kind of like the way i am looking." It's a long journey but I believe in the using God's guidance and love for me to stop looking at my faults and start looking at my potential. It's a long, long, journey but believe in Him and believe in yourself. You can change your eating habits and your opinion of yourself. Keep moving forward!:tongue_smilie:

[TracyNYC 4]

I agree Karen. That is why the head work is soo important for us to. We can stop eating and work out forever, but the head needs to be on straight too. My friend had GBP 5 years ago. She started at 500 lbs. and is only down about 60. She REFUSES to see the connection. She STILL says, "I just like to eat." Look, we all have issues but she grew up in an alcoholic environment and her mother still berates her daily, evan at 38. She has mocked me for seeing someone to talk to and taking meds, but I went into this with realistic expectations. So, Karen, a miserable fat person will be a miserable skinny one too.