I cheated... on myself

[Patterba 6]

Somehow declaring this in writing helps resolve the overwhelming guilt I feel. Yesterday was not a bad day, however, I had no problem going off my post op diet.

I have never cheated on my taxes, my husband or on my college exams; yet, it was without regard that I managed to shove a slice of spinach with feta cheese pizza into my mouth.

In the end, who did I cheat? Myself!!

This realization has made me think long and hard about how I view myself and this new life with the band.

Please do not tell me that I am being hard on myself... this is therapeutic for me.. I need to realize that I need to put myself first... it is sometimes hard for me... as husband and kids have always been first. It is hard to change this direction, but I am working on it..

[gatorgal 0]

You know, I had a long talk with my doctor and nutritionist about "cheating." My nutritionist--who is three years post op and has maintained her 110 pounds loss that entire time--told me that if I can't live with the band and make the choices that work for me, then I made the wrong choice to get the band. My birthday is this week, and she told me to enjoy a small slice of cake if I want it. She told me to go out to a restaurant that I want to go to and to eat what makes me happy on my birthday. The band should keep me from eating too much, and by allowing myself to indulge cautiously, I will not feel deprived. SOOOOO, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, remind yourself of your goals, and quit living with guilt.

You're smart to put your feelings in writing and to share with those of us who are walking in your shoes!

[ocotillo 0]

Patterba, I'm not sure what you did is cheating.....but it's not smart to screw up your post-op diet. For the next few weeks you are healing...meaning the band is settling in its spot around your stomach, the port and tubing are settling on your stomach muscles...you really want those things to heal without them moving. I'm sure you know this and understand this, but it's crucial that everything heals in place so you don't have issues later.

Yes, you do need to come first but you need balance too. In time, you will find the right balance, but for now, please follow your doctors directions for food intake until the band and port heals.

After almost three weeks of liquids, I was pretty sick of them...I started solid food two days early. I had eggs and they were the best eggs I've ever had. I also eat pizza once in a while. I have a very hard time stopping, because I really like pizza, so it is an exercise for me to eat only one piece. Pizza goes down very easily for me too. You will find what works for you and yes, you will beat yourself up about doing this "bad" thing or that "bad" thing, but really, it's life and life is a series of ups and downs. Good luck to you and take care of yourself.

[momamia 1]

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's a very hard not to put what you want in your mouth when you want it. That's why were having to this procedure.

food for me is my comfort. Even though I'm only 6 weeks post op, I still want what I can't have. Although my doctor told me something when I went in for my first fill. He told me watch your food for 6 days and on the 7th day have what you want to satisfy you. This gives me hope. So today I had a taco, which tasted so good.

Hang in there

[MargieOK2 0]

I had to smile as I read your post about cheating.....Being of Irish Catholic descent, I discovered my propensity for following the rules during my pre-op diet.

We were limited to two Protein shakes a day, 64 oz of Water, four ounces of Protein and a half cup of vegetables. We could "snack" on broth, sugar free Jello and sugar free popsicles. I followed the pre-op diet religiously and lost 20 pounds in the process.

Our doctor's nurse told us we had to follow it to the letter in order for the liver to shrink so they could get to the stomach. With the fear of God in my heart, I worried for two weeks that my liver would be too big and, once in there, the surgeons would close me up and make me start the program over.

I later learned that many of my already banded and bypassed friends didn't follow the diet. One had a Pasta dinner the night before surgery. Another had a steak and baked potato two days before and yet another spent the evening before at Red Lobster!

When my doc asked how I did on the pre-op diet, I told him that I had lost 20 pounds and never want to taste sugar free Jello again in my life, adding my horror stories about those who cheated.

Get back on track and you will be fine. I wouldn't worry about one piece of pizza, except for trying to get the dough down.

You are the captain of your destiny.

:w00t:

[pipedoc 0]

don't be too hard on yourself. This is a journey and not everyday goes according to the road map. I am only 6 weeks post op, and I feel I have done pretty well so far, but I have had a very tough and busy weekend that has not allowed me to do everything as per the book due to very limmited time and food choices. I did the best I could under the curcumstances and tryed to stick to the protien only. I did find myself eating way too fast all weekend and I paid for it this morning with some discomfort. But I will try to get back on track tommarow and will not get down on myself. Tommarow is a new day, so live it for yourself and allow yourself a little slack now and then. If we were all perfect we would not need the help of the band.

[HappyHomeCC 2]

Heck If I had to cheat that is a really tasty choice... I am not a sweet freak, more of a savory. Yummmm

Pick your self up and get back on track!

[Patterba 6]

Thanks Guys... I really appreciate your supportive words.

I waited so long to do this.. I just want to be successful.

I guess I am fearful if I crack this early, what is on the horizon.

New day, new me..

God Bless you all, I hope I can be there for you when you need a shoulder.. :smile2:

[Ryno 0]

It's hard not to cheat. Luckily the liquid phase I was good on.

Mushies and onward have been harder.

I had Meatloaf this weekend. Which isn't for another 10 days. Didn't overeat at all, but just had enough to make me happy, and knock me back on the track.

I think thats the important thing to realize, we all have gone through a life altering surgery.

We all used to be able to eat whatever we wanted, as much as we wanted, and whenever we wanted, I for one relished this, and revelled it like a King.

Now, after being banded, this is no longer the case. We on a daily basis have to, not really struggle, but be mindful of everything we put into our mouths.

The most amazing thing of all is that it works. But shoot, it's a hard process, and every once in a while you can start to make yourself a little nuts/crazy over it, and have to break the mold.

It's not something any of us is proud about, but it does serve as a reminder to put us back on track.

Cheating won't kill ya, but at the same time, it does defeat the purpose of the Tool we have all installed for use.

So no, I don't think you destroyed yourself or your chance for happiness.

But, you have to maintain on your path, and continue to follow the healing plan. Which is the hardest part of all.

I'm guilty of having a Guilty pleasure here and there, but getting back on track helps.

I go in for my first fill next Wed on 11/18, and I've come to the part where my swelling from Surgery has gone down, and I find myelf hungry.

Its hard, and I have a long week ahead of me with my family having Turkey day this coming weekend. But I will do what I must and I will utilize my support team here and at home ALOT till my fill, and continue to do so afterwards.

So yeah don't get too down on yourself, but use our support to help maintain your Healing Plan.

We have all been in your shoes at one point or another, and are here to help support ya through the good and the rough times that will continue to come and go!