My sister considers lap-band surgery "cheating", and I am TICKED!

[shellyphaunts 0]

Hey ya'll. Had my surgery in February, 2009. I am down about 70 pounds. :thumbup: Halfway to goal! It has been hard work, but worth every second. And having such a supportive family helps. ALOT!

Recently, I found out I don't quite have all the support I thought I did, and it has been devistating!! My daughter was talking to my nephew, and they began discussing my weight loss. Turns out my sister has been extremely mean behind my back and has been telling my nephew that I "cheated."

I should have seen this coming. When I had the surgery it took her two weeks to come see me. And when she did, she sat and cried complaining that "fat people" don't visit people who've just had WLS. (my sister is morbidly obese)

Then about five months later, at my son's birthday party, when I saw her, she said nothing about my appearance and just dove into this "me me me" story. I tried to be kind throughout the party, but must admit my feelings were hurt and I did withdraw a bit. Days later my Mom tells me that my sister is mad at me for IGNORING her at the party. Whatev..... :smile2:

Anyway, this comment about "cheating" just grates my cheese. I mean we work just as friggin hard as "normal" people to lose weight. I bust my a##. I work out seven days a week, I can't remember the last time I had my favorite food!! I'm constantly watching fat grams, calories, carbs and proteins! HOW THE HELL IS THAT CHEATING??

[123crod 170]

I agree with you. It is not cheating it is find a new way to make it work. It is not easy you do still have to watch what you eat how much you eat, drink your Water and work out.

Congratulations on your weightloss so far!! Don't let your sister bring you down, you know the truth!!

[Erin Marie 0]

Is she fine with her weight or has she struggled with it all her life? If it's the latter, I suspect that your success with the band has been making her feel insecure. I don't think it's so much a case of her trying to make you feel bad... rather she's trying to make herself feel better. Otherwise she'd be more open with her negative thoughts. Maybe sit down and have a talk? Establish that you love her very much and that her being there for you has made all the difference. Depending on how the conversation goes, invite her to work out with you and swap recipes :thumbup:.

[JUKU 1]

Ah sisters, gotta love them don't you. I have the same problem. My sister, who is 7 years younger than me, is extremely overweight and only 25 years old. I asked her if she ever considered lapband and her response was "I would never go to that extreme to lose weight". Well, I thought good for you, but it was my choice to do so. Then I got the "you were not that much overweight to do that". Whatever, I was 258 and was 5' 5", I was big.

[Salbri 0]

I had a friend who also said I was cheating by getting the Lapband. I said can you get me a copy of that Diet Bible where it specifically states that Lapband is cheating?

Really that type of response just makes no sense to me.

If someone is on blood pressure pills, insulin, chloesteral pills, etc because they are overweight. Is it OK for someone to say this is cheating?

[lipstix64 1]

Sorry to say this, but your sister is jealous of your success and and angry with herself for not doing it. She obviuosly has a lot of issues with her own weight and because you were brave enough to do what you had to do, shes having a hard time dealing with that. Talk to her about it, explain to her that u have the same struggles, but you chose this to feel better, look better, na have more self-esteem. Also assure her if she ever thought about having this surgery that you would be 100% behind her and support her all the way and that you would apprciate it if she did the same. My sister, believe me is a nut, is morbidly obese too, but I hafta say she tells me all the time how good I look. If this is cheating, I wish I cheated 5 years ago. Im so happy with my weight loss and no one can ever make me feel bad about why I did this. I dont give a shit what anyone says and u shouldnt either! Good Luck!:frown:

Hey ya'll. Had my surgery in February, 2009. I am down about 70 pounds. :thumbup: Halfway to goal! It has been hard work, but worth every second. And having such a supportive family helps. ALOT!

Recently, I found out I don't quite have all the support I thought I did, and it has been devistating!! My daughter was talking to my nephew, and they began discussing my weight loss. Turns out my sister has been extremely mean behind my back and has been telling my nephew that I "cheated."

I should have seen this coming. When I had the surgery it took her two weeks to come see me. And when she did, she sat and cried complaining that "fat people" don't visit people who've just had WLS. (my sister is morbidly obese)

Then about five months later, at my son's birthday party, when I saw her, she said nothing about my appearance and just dove into this "me me me" story. I tried to be kind throughout the party, but must admit my feelings were hurt and I did withdraw a bit. Days later my Mom tells me that my sister is mad at me for IGNORING her at the party. Whatev..... :smile2:

Anyway, this comment about "cheating" just grates my cheese. I mean we work just as friggin hard as "normal" people to lose weight. I bust my a##. I work out seven days a week, I can't remember the last time I had my favorite food!! I'm constantly watching fat grams, calories, carbs and proteins! HOW THE HELL IS THAT CHEATING??

[GraciesMom 0]

You just have to allow people to be ignorant.

There is so much information out there that can educate people about WLS's that there is no excuse for such statements out of anyone to that degree of ignorance, believing that you are "cheating"

IMHO, I truely feel your sisters hurtful words were more spoken through a siblings competitive, jealous nature. The disconserting point to this entire situation is to whom she was allowing these emotions and thoughts to be communicated to.

The belittling of an Aunt to a young person speaks, no shouts volumes about her, and her charater.

Stay strong, you my friend are doing something about your health and weight, unlike your bitter tongued sis. You know what is right for you so do not allow anyone elses uneducated and hateful words pull you down!

Big Hugs from all your more knowledgable "Sisters" here at LBT!

[lipstix64 1]

AMEN, S:thumbup:ISTER!

You just have to allow people to be ignorant.

There is so much information out there that can educate people about WLS's that there is no excuse for such statements out of anyone to that degree of ignorance, believing that you are "cheating"

IMHO, I truely feel your sisters hurtful words were more spoken through a siblings competitive, jealous nature. The disconserting point to this entire situation is to whom she was allowing these emotions and thoughts to be communicated to.

The belittling of an Aunt to a young person speaks, no shouts volumes about her, and her charater.

Stay strong, you my friend are doing something about your health and weight, unlike your bitter tongued sis. You know what is right for you so do not allow anyone elses uneducated and hateful words pull you down!

Big Hugs from all your more knowledgable "Sisters" here at LBT!

[pickles123 0]

I sure wish the lap band was cheating and was easy. All I have found it to be so far is hard work and patience. Glad I have it but sure is not EASY.

[UpperWestSide 3]

Look, if there was a way to cheat to be thin I think we would have all sought it out years ago. In fact, if someone was smart enough to invent a way to simply cheat to be thin they would have made a million bucks in a New York second.

This is not cheating, it is a tool. It take patience and even a bit of humility to make this thing work for you (I sure felt humble the first time I pb'd and slimes my way around the house.) I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving when much of my family will see me for the first time since my surgery. Hopefully they will notice the difference and will support me. I am not planning on sharing the Lapband information with those that don't know. But since I am one of 2 of us who are overweight, the rest should be supportive. The one who is not is my partner and we are working through this together. We are in couples therapy to make sure that we both feel comfortable with my new life. Too bad you can't get your sister into therapy.

Best of luck.

[Humming Bird 275]

I have sister issues too. Very close to the same you have.

Cheating or not cheating ......

It really doesn't matter at this point.....

What matters is YOU ARE DOWN BY ALMOST 70 POUNDS !!!!!!!! WHOOO !!!! HOOOO!!!!

YOU SHOULD BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE!!!!!:cursing:

[Manda 0]

Sounds like sisters can be the same all over the place...

My sister is very angry with me ever since I got the surgery. She takes anger out on me even when it has nothing to do with weight. Everytime I receive any attention she gets extremely jealous...but I feel so terrible about it! Sometimes I feel like if I didn't get the surgery we'd be much...'happier'. I'd still be crying on the inside about how I looked and how I felt, but at least my sister and I never had to argue about something as personal as weight loss. :/

I just have to remind myself that I got the surgery for ME, just like you had yours done for YOU. We finally took OUR feelings into account and did something for ourselves! And in my opinion, it's the best thing I have ever done for me.

Congrats on your weight loss, and you know you're not cheating yourself when you feel so damned good!

[julia19642 0]

I haven't read all the posts, because i only have a few minutes before it's bedtime. I just read your post.

My sister has my dad's genes....she's tall and skinny. Before she went into rehab, (right after she found out i had the lapband)....she punched me in the stomach. She was in rehab the next day and is still in there. She has only written one letter to my dad and she signed it...."your daughter, the pretty, skinny one".

Honestly....when they have "issues" with your choice of a healthier life, then it's THEIR problem.

If you're semi-close with your sister, then things will work out eventually.....I was very close to my sister, but she "got some 'splaining to do, Lucy".

I feel that your sister might harbor some jealousy that maybe you can do something that she can't or isn't able to do (insurance, co-pay, balls, etc).

When I sent my most recent pictures to my family, from my birthday party......one of them wrote back and said "who's the skinny, pretty one now???".

Take your journey, accept that they have issues....if you're close to her, then i'm sure it will all work out, but only if they get their own issues worked out first.

Family.....ya just gotta keep loving them in spite of their issues.

Be well, my friend.....

[julia19642 0]

Ok....i SAID i was going to bed, but had to read back through what people had posted....AWESOME RESPONSES !!!!

I hope you read back through all the great advice given....mine isn't the greatest, but alot of people have given opinions from all sides of life.

Well done gang.

[Deactivated 0]

Your sister has most likely heard many, many comments from others about your weight loss and how nice you look. This must be really hard for her to hear. She may have had others ask her why she doesn't have the surgery. Stating that you are cheating is a defense mechanism. Your nephew is also using that as an excuse for his mother.

At family gatherings, she has to see that you are eating healthy. The band doesn't make you eat healthy; it just helps you not eat in excess. Maybe if you explain to her in a nice way about how hard it is at times because of head hunger and cravings that the band doesn't cure.

Even though I haven't yet had the surgery, my friends and family ask a lot of questions and one of the main points of what I tell them is how it is just a tool and that the hard work will be up to me. I have to admit that I too thought that WLS was the easy way out until I started researching and educating myself about WLS, including RNY and VSG, so I understand why people think this way.

If having the surgery is cheating, then I'm also cheating by wearing eyeglasses; they a tool to help me see better. I could choose not to use them, but why would I when I can see so much better with them? Same thought process for WLS.

BTW. Congratulations on your weight loss!

Wanda