Fauxnaif 1 Posted October 17, 2005 I have definitely sabotaged myself and think I am in the midst of it now. I have lost 115 pounds but need to lose at least 30 more. I am getting so close to being normal and that scares me. I have always had issues with feeling I deserve good things-a nice home, a good relationship, to look and feel good. I have the first two but the 3rd one is kicking my butt. I need to go back to therapy; it has helped me in the past. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anwyn 0 Posted October 17, 2005 First of all Jessiebear, I am so excited for you because I KNOW you're going to break that 300 lb barrier soon. What an exciting milestone! I hope you plan on treating yourself to something great... I've thought long and hard about the whole "why do I sabotage myself" issue too, and I've come to the conclusion that on some level I DON'T THINK I DESERVE TO BE SKINNY. Wow - I've never written that down before. I have a great life in virtually every area except for my weight. For some reason, I've never felt like I should be able to have it all. I'm trying very hard to change my thinking, but it's definitely a struggle. I've never had one on one weight loss counseling. It's something I know I should do, and I've even gone so far as to find a place in the phonebook. Time to get off my butt and make the call! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessiebear 2 Posted October 17, 2005 Thanks for all the responses & support! You guys are always here when I need you! I know I haven't ever been sexually abused. So that's not it. I think I'm a lot like you Anwyn, Everything else in my life (at least the things that other people care about) seems to be all "peaches & cream". I know I have a real problem with trying to please people. I'm thinking the sabotage has some roots in this. I don't want to come off as perfect, because I'm not, so "Hey look at me!" "I'm fat!" "Nothing to be jealous of here!" I pretty much know that that is one of my issues. I guess I need to cultivate my inner B**ch! LOL! Maybe stop worrying about what other people think & how they perceive me. Who cares right? All that matters is what I think of myself. Am I making sense or just rambling? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anwyn 0 Posted October 17, 2005 That's not rambling at all - that's my inner dialogue talkin'! I feel guilty for having more money than my siblings, and I totally downplay when something good happens to me if I think it might make someone feel bad. I even downplay my weight loss so that my heavier friends don't feel bad! And if I say anything that people might perceive as bragging I obsess about it for weeks. Yup... we definitely need some counseling, or at least a good swift kick in the behind! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
