Need some advise and a pep talk!!

[TCarroll 1]

Ok, I know that I am in a marathon not a race!! I get that, and I know all the positives that I have from losing the weight I have lost so far... but the last 3 -4 days I have been very depressed!

I am 10 weeks and a few days out of surgery (happy cause I thought I was just over 11 weeks out of surgery!) and I am down 39.8 lbs... which is great... almost 40 lbs in under 3 months.... I went from 242 -to 202.2 as of this morning.

I have also noticed that I have to buy smaller sizes... so there is another plus..

But here is the thing other than people that know that I have had the surgery or am trying to lose weight have really noticed anything.... and in my mind I still feel like I look like I did before surgery.... I do see some weightloss in my face-- but that's all my mind recognizes.....

So I kept trying to think positive thinking it is noticable... well then I get the halloween pictures back and WOW--- I cant see any weightloss and I look like a fat cow!!! I was really hoping that I would be able to see the difference and it would be a postivie thing for me! Guess not! I thought that losing 40 lbs you would be able to see the difference and be proud...

So I guess my question is.... did any of you go thru this on your weightloss journey??? At what percentage of weight did you really notice the weightloss?? Did you have some depression while losing weight and if so how did you handle it??

I am really trying to stay positive and look for postive things-- but to realize I still look this bad... ugh kinda broke my heart!

[sjm1965 0]

I got done on 13th Aug, so am in about the same boat as you.

I lost really good on Optifast before op, but totally cheated once band was in place, and have had 2 fills so far and know I am not doing the right thing.

I have dropped a clothes size too, and clothes are falling better now, but yes I still look BIG!!!!

I need to get into some serious exercise, because the flab just wont go by itself - i realised that only this week - how thick am I????

Surgery is only part of the solution - restraint, commitment, and hard work are also needed.

Don't beat yourself up by the way - I have done way too much of that and it achieves nothing - the more I did it the less my commitment became - I almost forgot that I had been banded altogether. Not good at all.

Depression? Sure...

But even worse... I became lazy, in all parts of my life... work, family, housework, paying the bills, I think the whole thing can mess you up if you let it, and I let it....

My doctor said I am doing just fine, 2 weeks ago. I have gone from 108.5kg in July to 90.8kg today, so 17kg lost so far. thats nearly 20% of my bodyweight - try putting that sort of spin on it so that you realise how good you are doing.

I realise as well that my expectations were way too high. I kept saying that I was going to go down to 55kg. Ridiculous. and whats more I am too big for that and would look downright stupid. If I lose another 17 kg that would put be at a very healthy 73kg, lighter than I was as a 20 year old, 25 years ago!!!! and I didnt look that bad then.

And another positive - if i make that my goal, I am half way there!!!!!

Just do you best - you only have to answer to yourself.

Good luck

[wrlove5683 0]

I feel exactly the way you do right now. I'm only 4 weeks post op and have lost 15 lbs. I know losing the weight slower is healthier but I can't help but feel like I should have lost more. People tell me that they can see a difference in my face but I can't see ANY change whatsoever. It's very discouraging since I have completely changed what and how I eat AND have been working out at the gym regularly. I hope you get some good replies to your post because I feel like I'm in the same boat you're in.

[josephine 1]

I am 4 years out and I still see myself as an obese person. I still always say people like us, or you will never understand what we go though or have gone through to get the way we are...........

I know that I am not and I wear size 6 clothing and my boobs went from a full C to an almost A. You really need to begin to pat yourself on the back for your achievements thus far. Trust me, down the road the jealously streaks start coming and you begin not to hear too much from others or they will say you are beginning to look too thin to sabotage you. They aren't nice out there all the time.

You see yourself every day and you will not notice the changes automatically........... It is the people who haven't seen you in awhile that will blow you away and keep your mind going and reminding you that you are doing an excellent job because they will be in awe and that just begins your journey all over again..............

Do not look at how long it is going to take you as you will be sobotaging yourself........ Enjoy the new person you are becoming...the healthy person you are becoming.

Josephine

[laurigee 545]

Well I am here to give you your pep talk your looking for. I think that everyone goes through exactly what your going through. You want the pat on the back from others to show you your on the right track. Trust me if the scale is going down, your on the right track. Sometimes people are uncomfortable saying anything about weight, whether it's positive or negative. I also put it off as people so busy with their own lives that they really see threw people, exspecially if you see them daily. Depression is another thing I personally experienced also. I still have bouts of it based on the scale. It is something that is easier to control when you recognize it. Staying active and pampering yourself and patting yourself on the back once in a while really helps for me. I think people started noticing my weight loss the most is when I started wearing different clothes. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to get in touch with me, I hope this helps. TAKE CARE!

[happy2lose 0]

I have certainly experienced the same feelings you are. I still can't see any difference in myself from having lost 79 pounds. Everybody tells how great I look but I just can't see it. My body is shrinking but my shape is exactly the same. I know the scale doesn't lie so there must be something wrong with my perception of myself.

I have seen many posts on bandsters perception of their body image and it seems to be commonplace what you are going through. I'm sure there are many body parts that are thinner but when looking at the body as a whole it is just not as obvious.

Give it a little more time. Keep working toward your goal because at some point it will be noticeable to even you. Make sure you are getting exercise everyday and eating only the foods you should be eating. I say this because I feel thinner when I work out and I feel fatter when I eat beyond what I am suppose to. I believe obesity is every bit as much psychological as it is physiological.

Hang in there, Rome wasn't built in a day and you didn't become overweight overnight. Just keep working toward a happier, healthier you and the rewards will be obvious and lasting.

Take care,

Donna

[TCarroll 1]

Thanks for the advise ladies... I am sticking to it.... I eat what I am supposed to --follow the rules, and no alcohol even though we live a fairly social life... I am also working out everyday and striving for the goal!!!

It is just frustrating when you see pictures and you feel like you haven't changed.... but maybe the next 10 lbs I will see it....

I did do something for a pick-me up during my lunch break-- I went to the store and tried on pants.... and I am down from a 22-20 to a 16.... so I guess that's something...

I know that it is working-- I can see it on the scale and in smaller clothes, I guess I just thought that 40 lbs would be more noticable besides in my face!! LOL!

My doctor told me that I would really start to notice after I passed 40 lbs... so I will keep up the work...

[jfc193 718]

My wife and I were banded on the same day and for the longest time people would make comments about how weight I had lost. I had a lot more to lose then my wife and so it show on me earlier.

I remember once when I had lost about 75 lbs and my wife about 50 lbs and some turned to my wife and said that she should consider looking into having the same surgery.

between the two of us we have lost around 220 lbs and she looks great. She will be having a Tummy Tuck and arms reduction sometime in the near future,

I have gone done from 3 x shirts to medium shirts and she has gone from size 26 to size 14 and we are both still loosing.

We still see ourselves from being fat but both of our BMI are finally under 30 so there must be changes taken place even though our eyes can not see it.

All this to say do not get discouraged.

[Jachut 487]

At 40lb you can feel the difference and be proud of your achievement.

so what if it is not noticeable yet?

it took me about 40lb before people noticed and I only started with a BMI of 36 in the first place. There is a lot of fat for most of us to lose and it comes off quite evenly (even though we may not think so). People dont see it.

to be honest, the most dramatic (and satisfying ) weight loss was my last 10lb. Even 20lb ago (I lost 100 overall) I was still what I'd call quite fat. Not overweight, at the top of my healthy weight range, but unfashionably plump regardless. The more you have to lose, the less difference a single pound makes, but as it comes off, the result gets more and more dramatic.

Dont let it get you down, you have to get those 40lb off anyway, and you're doing a great job.