Down that slippery slope to Depression

[serenity55 15]

I went to get a fill today, and found that I'd gained a pound. Boy! did that depress me! My usual reaction is to say forget it, I knew it wouldn't work, just go ahead and eat whatever you want, because you're going to be fat for the rest of your life anyway!

I've been on an antidepressant for five years, so I do function, but I find myself wanting to go to that place. I thought if I had something to eat, (or drink) I'd feel better, but I still feel like I just don't want to try. It's not as bad as it used to be, but I'm afraid I could go back to that place. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone ever felt this way?

Debbie

[elcee 3,341]

I went for a slight unfill last week and got told that my weight was the same as at my fill 3 weeks previously. That both confused and annoyed me. Yes I know I weigh more on the dr's scales than my own but according to my scales I had lost 1.5kg in those 3 weeks so surely the Dr's should have shown the same even though it would have been higher?

It took the wind right out of my sails!

However I know that eating isn't going to help so I am resisting that temptation.It's hard but you can do it.

[serenity55 15]

Thank you, elcee. There is a part of me that knows I won't throw all I've worked for out the window--it's been too hard to get here!

I can understand how the wind was knocked out of your sails, though. I thought I was doing so well!

Debbie

[amylovescookies 8]

I know how you feel. I think most of us (even the lucky ones who do not suffer from a mental illness) eat when our world falls down. And to a lapbander gaining weight is a kick in the gut. You and I know the lapband is a forever change, and we will never live the same 'fat' life we lived before. However, because we take anti-depressants it may take us just a bit longer to get to our goals. Darn it.

[LeighaMason 19]

The only way I have to counteract these type feelings is to take out the fat clothes and the fat pics and do a real time comparison. Side by side, try on the fat clothes, (see how far I have come, I'm doing good, etc) A pep talk is in order, if you have someone who you can count on have them do it, if not do it yourself. I need proof that things are better and the clothes and pics help me.

[serenity55 15]

Thank you Amy and Leigha.

Amy, I'm a cookie lover, too, and that's just what I'd go for, but even if I do, it's not a whole package, just a few. And not every day, either. As you said, darn it!

Leigha, I love trying on clothes that are too big for me now. It's kind of neat to feel the blouses falling off my shoulders, or pants that aren't snug the way they used to be

Some days it's easier to focus on the positive, and just for today, that's where I am. Thank goodness! It's one day at a time for me.

Debbie.

Edited March 24, 2010 by serenity55