Ok, so I may be starting this a little late...

[Italics 0]

I really thought I'd be doing this alone. I'm not one to prattle on about my problems and my thoughts. I give everything in my life adequate though, and I make decisions accordingly.

I decided a month ago to have the banding surgery. My surgery date is ... well, in 2.5 hours. I've lost 20lbs pre-op (down from 356 to 336) in 3 weeks. I know I can do this. I'm certain of it. So why am I not sleeping? Why have I had nightmare after nightmare with the central theme of reluctantly having to kill the one thing I love the most (translation- FOOD!).

I gave this a lot of thought, really. I considered a cost/benefit analysis and came up with this answer. But... last minute, I'm terrified.

(Dr appt implied the following)

Pasta is a bad idea... for the rest of my life??

White bread, big fluffy biscuts, and garlic toast are gone forever?

Seriously, wheat pasta??? So much for Olive Garden...

I know these are guidelines, and maitenance is different that losing, so I'll be able to re-introduce my lover (carbs) when I'm at my goal weight... but even then, only in small doses.

And I've been heavy my whole life. I don't even know what I'd look like without excess baggage! I don't know what I'll do. I know I won't change how I dress - you can take the fat out of the girl but you can't take the girl out of the fat (frame of mind). I just don't know who I'd be if I'm not the fat girl at every event. It's scary.

There's the whole "oh, just be yourself" school of thought; but I've been the fat girl. That's been my role. I've worked very hard at pretending it doesn't bother me, at telling people I'd be happy at any size as long as I'm healthy. I lie more to myself than others... so who? Who am I supposed to be?

I have to take my pre-op shower and get on my 'loose fitting clothes' (that statement on my instruction sheet alone makes me wonder if this place 'gets' fat people... what do I wear that tight, besides my bras?) for surgery. Hopefully I'll be out by this afternoon and ready to post again, but I know it could be days. I tend to be a big baby when it comes to pain.

Wish me luck, even if it is a little late.

[sndycnrd 1]

Best of luck! Check in later an let us know how it went.

[crzytchr 3]

Good luck with your surgery and if you want to talk post op, feel free to pm me. All of these thoughts sound a little normal pre op. I had many of the same fears. As far as clothing...oh my, I am one of the best dressed teachers at my school. The administration NEVER worries about whether what I am wearing is nice enough. Prior to surgery, it was khakis and tees every single day! food? I eat all of the things you are thinking you will never again have. It depends on how restricted you NEED your band to be for you to lose. I eat most anything I want, just a lot less of it.

[GraciesMom 0]

Hi I,

I think your words are very well written, as they echo the very same thoughts I am sure everyone here has had, whether they admit it or not, My surgery will be next month, so I for one will be waiting to hear back from you today.

I'll be thinking about you today.

[Apples2 19]

Wishing you luck and a speedy recovery. Take things day to day. Everything will fit together and you will figure out (as far as you diet) what you can or cannot tolerate.

I have always chosen NOT to be too restricted by the band. I did not want to eliminate certain foods. I do not mind getting hungry once in awhile. I choose to eat every 2-4 hours. I eat most foods....just less. I make far more healthy food choices than when I was obese.

You will figure out what works for you. For now, just follow all of your doc's recommendations. Come back to LBT for support. There are people of all stages asking for advice, venting and just plain talking with other LB people.

[Italics 0]

Hi I,

I think your words are very well written, as they echo the very same thoughts I am sure everyone here has had, whether they admit it or not, My surgery will be next month, so I for one will be waiting to hear back from you today.

I'll be thinking about you today.

I certainly don't feel like everyone else. I refused banding for so long. On my father's side of the family (the side I grew up a part of), something like this is considered giving up and letting your weakness win. Of course, these are the same people who believe alcoholism is a choice, not a disease.

I got through surgery fine. I had a huge hiatal hernia that had to be repaired, and the band went in with 4cc of Fluid. I have bruises and slices and PAIN. I knew there would be pain, but... seriously? The pain from the cuts aren't too bad, but the air they push into you in order to see better may kill me. I'm told it should be gone by tomorrow or the next day. Let's cross fingers, shall we?

I haven't had time to fully process the fact that this is done. I went into this quickly, as I said before, and so to be at the finish/starting line is a little intimidating. My doctor told me today that if I lost 22lbs in 3 weeks of pre-op dieting, my weight loss over the next 6 months is going to be dramatic. I hope so... I just promise my husband(who works in Afghanistan) a long hike when he comes home on break in March!

That's all I have for now. Thanks for all the support!!:thumbup:

[crzytchr 3]

I am sorry about the gas pain. Most people say that this is the worst part.

[SPENCERBE333 0]

Good for you. I had gas too and it gets better every day. I am on day 8 now and feeling pretty good. I want food sometimes but I will now eat until they tell me to. Stay positive!

[GraciesMom 0]

I am so sorry you are having pain Miss I, but I am glad everything went well considering the extra repair work that had to be done.

Remember to take your pain meds, and when you can walk, walk, walk. That will help from what I hear.

I think I am going to make my husband sign a contract, no matter how many SOB's and Pain in the As--s I call him, he is to get my rosey round butt up and make me walk when I get home from the hospital.

Get some rest, and we will talk to you soon.

[Cindylouwho4220 0]

There are ups and downs to this process! I understand now why bandsters say it's not the easy way out. Most people gas subsides in 3-7 days. Mine last for 7 (of course) I was banded 4 months ago...have had A LOT of problems. My biggest problem was with swelling. So much my stomach turned into a balloon that was ready for the Macy's Day Parade! The Dr. had to remove all of the saline. Saying all of that I have only lost 18 lbs so far but......I am so glad I got banded! I just had my 3rd fill and now I know it's working!

You will do great. I could live off of bisquits before. I have had 1/2 of one since my surgery. I will probably never eat another one because those few bites were NOT fun! I did cry once because I missed food so much. You do get past that pretty quickly though. It is a head game sometimes, cause food is what we have always turned to!

Good luck, we are all here to cheer you on!

[Italics 0]

There are ups and downs to this process! I understand now why bandsters say it's not the easy way out. Most people gas subsides in 3-7 days. Mine last for 7 (of course) I was banded 4 months ago...have had A LOT of problems. My biggest problem was with swelling. So much my stomach turned into a balloon that was ready for the Macy's Day Parade! The Dr. had to remove all of the saline. Saying all of that I have only lost 18 lbs so far but......I am so glad I got banded! I just had my 3rd fill and now I know it's working!

You will do great. I could live off of bisquits before. I have had 1/2 of one since my surgery. I will probably never eat another one because those few bites were NOT fun! I did cry once because I missed food so much. You do get past that pretty quickly though. It is a head game sometimes, cause food is what we have always turned to!

Good luck, we are all here to cheer you on!

I'm about to head to bed... but I know ppl who think this is easy are NUTS. I've had nightmares for weeks... food is my ally... but I have to give it up. And not just a little... but some thing forever--like soda.

I'm hoping for 4 days--or 1. Ugh. This pain is absolutely the worst. Worst than gallstones passing. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to everyone for you support. I will update again soo.

[Italics 0]

I've switched to blogging. I know how to do that and it seems like I need all the easy I can find right now.

Thank you for all of your support. I may do the forum again, soon, but right now... I just don't know.

Again, thank each and everyone of you for the support.

[untfluter 3]

get the gas-x strips... It will make a HUGE difference... Congrats on starting this journey... I am 5 months post-op.. feel free to email me at untfluter@comcast.net if you have any questions or just want to talk to someone who has been going thru this...

I'm about to head to bed... but I know ppl who think this is easy are NUTS. I've had nightmares for weeks... food is my ally... but I have to give it up. And not just a little... but some thing forever--like soda.

I'm hoping for 4 days--or 1. Ugh. This pain is absolutely the worst. Worst than gallstones passing. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to everyone for you support. I will update again soo.

[Melinco 1]

Italics, are you using the LBT blog or did you set up a blog through blogger, as example. Will you share your blog address?

Thanks!

[Italics 0]

Italics, are you using the LBT blog or did you set up a blog through blogger, as example. Will you share your blog address?

Thanks!

I went to the Blog icon and started a blog here.

Don't know what 'name' it has... the first entry is a repeat of the blog.

The second entry is entitle OMG Pain.

Let me know if you need more info.