Teen who has unsupportive family.

[katie_marie 0]

Hello everyone, I am 18 and am scheduled to have the gastric banding surgery in December of 2009. I am quite nervous because I have a very unsupportive family. My dad told me I was taking the "easy" way out by surgery. I have always been overweight since the day I was born. I think its time that I do something that will help me. I only have a few close friends who do not understand what I going through physically, emotionally, and mentally. If there is anyone around my age or just someone that has good advice I need it. I do not think this will go very well without supportive people in my life. I'd appreciate the help.

~Katie

[kkarryall 0]

Maybe you can get your family to come to a support group for people who have had the surgery. I go to a support group once per month. If your family is not open to this, and you are set on having the surgery than you will just have to go forward with it. Are you seeing a therapist? That may help with giving you ideas on how to get your family more involved. I can tell you this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Good luck.

[Humming Bird 275]

great advise and support from kkarryall.

I think your family just might come around eventually and be supportive. Maybe they need time for it to sink in or something.

Getting banded is not the easy way, believe me. It is taking drastic measures, but so well worth it.

You have so much life ahead of you. Why should you live it obese? There is no reason. I am glad you are brave enough to take this very big step for your future!

You will find support on this site, but I also think you will find friends and family will support you in the long run.

I wish you the best in this journey and in your adult life!

Keep a positive attitude and keep moving forward!

[samanthazzz 0]

Ah, sweetie, I was so sad to read this post. I had a very supportive sister, daughter & friend, but my own husband was awful. It did add much unnecessary stress to the process, so I can relate.

Here's my "Mommy" advice. There are threads online for different ages. I'm not sure if there is a teen group, but there definitely is a 20's group. Post something there about your situation. I'm sure they will be happy to help you.

Your life will be transformed with the surgery. It is a blessing that you will be getting it at such a young age. Imagine living your life as a thin person? Dating, school, employment, etc. will be much easier, not to mention your self esteem.

Also, a previous poster had good advice, since your old enough to drive, go to the support groups your DR must have.

Lots of stupid reasons why our loved ones/friends/co workers are not supportive. Alot is do to ignorance, some jealousy, weird thing is some people feel better about themselves when they have that "token" fat friend around. If you can get your family to go to a support group with you...terrific, it may turn them around. If you can't, then accept it and move on.

Find a friend online. This forum is terrific and everyone understands being the "fat" person and all the crap both physically and mentally that goes along with it.

When is your surgery?

If you need an "online mom", feel free to contact me.

Online hugs are terrific too!

Samantha :-)

[Astrasmom 1]

Aww Katie. We will definately support you here. I know where you are because as someone else said, my family is very supportive but my husband is horrible. Even after my surgery he still doesn't get it. I have had many people tell me it's the easy way out too. But those are the ones that are "skinny" or stuck in the time warp that diets work. I know myself that this isn't a diet. This is a lifestyle change. And personally this is far from the easy way out. Honestly I don't care what they say anymore. I want to live. I'm tired of feeling the way I do. And it's time that I did something for myself. Please do think about going to your local support groups. Your family may come around eventually. But if they don't, just remember you are in this for you. You are doing this at a great time in your life. I wish I did mine sooner.

There is a forum for teens on here. Don't know if you have found it yet. Here's the link. Teens - LAP-BAND Surgery and LAP-BAND Discussion Forum

You can lean on my for support. We are all here for you.

Hello everyone, I am 18 and am scheduled to have the gastric banding surgery in December of 2009. I am quite nervous because I have a very unsupportive family. My dad told me I was taking the "easy" way out by surgery. I have always been overweight since the day I was born. I think its time that I do something that will help me. I only have a few close friends who do not understand what I going through physically, emotionally, and mentally. If there is anyone around my age or just someone that has good advice I need it. I do not think this will go very well without supportive people in my life. I'd appreciate the help.

~Katie

[txtigergirl 0]

I agree with you, dtermini - I wish I had done this at a much younger age. Being thinner doesn't make life easier, but it could have saved me from some health problems and a lot of tears over the years.

Katie, just hang in there - you are doing this at a good time in your life. I've made some decisions in my life that my family (especially my dad) did not support. The biggest decision was when I got engaged. Most of my family was completely against it, but I was confident in my decision. That confidence (plus 4 years) has shown my family that I was right.

Make sure that you're confident in your decision, have considered all of the pros and cons, and do what you think is right for yourself. You're young, but not a child. If you can handle your family as maturely as possible, showing them that this is not an impulsive decision, then that's all you can do.

We are here to support each other!

[amac09 0]

Im 18 too and im getting my band in Dec. too...at first my dad was so against it, he also said that I havent even tried to loose the weight on my own but I gave him my reasons and though he still feels like I shouldnt get it, I know he knows my reasons and that all I need. Once you start loosing weight, they will see and change in you and then they will understand. I hope everything gets better for you. Just be honest

[Astrasmom 1]

I wish they had this surgery when I was 18. I definitely would have gotten it done then. Don't knock your parents though because myself being a parent of an 18 and a 21 year old, we are just worried about our kids. Any kind of surgery is scary. But knowing what I know now, and going through the lap band surgery 2 weeks ago, I would definitely recommend it to my children if they needed it.

Parents sometimes just need to be reminded that you love them and that you know they are only trying to protect you BUT you really need to think for yourselves at times. And WLS at a young age is awesome. You will bypass all the complications in life that comes with the extra weight. And ultimately you will be saving your life.

The best of luck to everyone.

[Gaylancsu 28]

See if your Dad will go to a support group or Doctor appt with you. There's just some people that don't understand. I wish I could have had the opportunity and courage to do this at 18. I am 31 and it took me this long to admit and understand I couldn't do this myself.

I have been blessed with EXTREMELY supportive family and friends. NO ONE has been negative or acted judgemental, at least not to my face. My closest friends and family all made a point of telling me how proud they were of me, it's meant so much to me. My husband was a little annoying pre-op cause he didn't understand why I was so scared, but since surgery he has been WONDERFUL (I think the actual surgery day and stress associated with it, esp since they had trouble getting my vitals up to normal in post-op and left him in the waiting room with no information freaked him out and well honestly, it made me feel better that he got to feel some of the stress I felt).

Good Luck!