sorry...just so irritated!!!!!!!!!!

[2Flyguys 13]

only my fellow bandsters will understand...:closedeyes:...once again my friend had rny in may...she has lost 86 pounds...NO EXERCISE and has not changed her eating habits at all...she has only dumped once since surgery...she is constantly comparing herself and her loss to mine...i'm so sorry to tell her but aaaaaaa NO....my tool has helped me tremendously....don't get me wrong....but I helped myself tremedously too...i don't sit around on my butt while my surgery consumes calories for me...its so irritating...she laughs at how much i go to the gym ....my body is far from perfect...but a lot less sloppy bcuz i do go to the gym...and watch what i eat...tells me constantly that she made the right decision...well good for u...but guess what???? lets see who keeps it off...i don't compare my loss to any1 elses...there r so many factors to the rate of each individuals loss...my friends and family don't understand y it irritates me that she constantly compares herself to me...and u may not either...but for those of u that worked hard to get where ur at...i'm sure u can relate...have a great weekend...keep losing and thank u 4 hearing me out!!!!!!

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Fly, I think you're just going to have to cut her a little slack. No decisions about anything is right for everybody. She made her choice, is happy with the results ... and doesn't get your choice.

You made your choice, are happy with the results. You enjoy going to the gym or you'd be looking for excuses not to go. That reinforces your choice of the band....and, actually, kind of supports her choice NOT to get the band.

A lot of statistics say that at the 5 year mark post op, the weight loss for both procedures is about the same. So in about 4 or so years, you can compare results. I'm thinking you'll be in a better place than your friend, but the simple response is "I made my choice, you made yours. I'm happy with mine and you're happy with yours."

[2Flyguys 13]

ur right parrothead cathy...u always have good and fair advice when u respond to threads!!!:closedeyes:

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

It's so easy to let stuff like that get under your skin! I have a co-worker whose doctor put her on a diet (South Beach). She's lost about 55 pounds but hasn't lost much in the last couple of months. She's ALWAYS asking "how much have you lost now?" Then she bemoans how she's "stuck" -- but it takes all the willpower I have not to point out that I see her eating cheetos or chips on almost a daily basis.

Sometimes, I wonder if it's a compulsion to compare like that? But, like I said, sometimes it takes a LOT of willpower not to say something.

[Enchanted 2]

Sounds like you both made the right decision. For yourselves.

But it does sound like she's being a little immature about the gym thing. I'd probably respond with something like, "Actually, I love the way I feel. You should come with me sometime."

[JoJo1 0]

Years ago, I joined Weight watchers for the manyth time, and did this with two co-workers. One of them was very big, the other and myself needed to lose 20 or so. We thought it would be fun to exchange recipes etc. The person who was large complained from the start that she did not lose anything. The other one and I, lost a few pounds and were patting each other on the back. Then one day, I saw the larger girl with a snickers bar, and I teased her about it. She said "Well it is ok because I didn't eat Breakfast or lunch. She never did get the point of eating healthier and she, at least when I knew her, did not lose any weight either. I am not holding myself up as an example because I am now banded, however it goes to having other people put their two bits in when you are making an effort. I totally get it.... Good luck!!!!

[LollyMoe 1]

You stick to your guidelines for yourself and don't let someone else bring you down. Everyone is different. Wait to see what 4-5 years bring for both of you." Keep on trucking" as my son used to say.

[12rcanaday 0]

You are doing a great job, look at how much you have lost!!!

[MrsWilson1212 0]

Although I am still in the process and awaiting a date I can relate to that feeling of frustration when you feel as if someone is competing with you. A coworker had gastric last year and our relationship has suffered since she found out I am trying to get lapband. While I can applaud her weight loss, she, like your friend did it without doing the "work" and if she would have done more of it, probably would have lost more and/or would not have alot of the issues I see (mentally and physically) which steered me away from wanting gastric. She has been steadfast with providing me anything negative about lap band especially pointing out how the weight loss will be slower or not as much. It took me a while before I realized her comments were coming from a place that fears I will steal her thunder. Initally I tried to make her understand my goal wasn't to lose x amount of pounds as much as it was to just feel better (mentally and physically) but despite this she just seem to get more nasty as I completed phases of the process even resorting to taking jabs at my size (as if she was never had a weight issue) and at that point, I realize she was just being a hater. Pure and simple. You are pounds away from your goals. Celebrate your success and leave the haters where they lie..sitting around worried about you. Congratulations on your achievement and I wish you continued success.

[JoJo1 0]

Although I am still in the process and awaiting a date I can relate to that feeling of frustration when you feel as if someone is competing with you. A coworker had gastric last year and our relationship has suffered since she found out I am trying to get LAP-BAND®. While I can applaud her weight loss, she, like your friend did it without doing the "work" and if she would have done more of it, probably would have lost more and/or would not have alot of the issues I see (mentally and physically) which steered me away from wanting gastric. She has been steadfast with providing me anything negative about LAP-BAND® especially pointing out how the weight loss will be slower or not as much. It took me a while before I realized her comments were coming from a place that fears I will steal her thunder. Initally I tried to make her understand my goal wasn't to lose x amount of pounds as much as it was to just feel better (mentally and physically) but despite this she just seem to get more nasty as I completed phases of the process even resorting to taking jabs at my size (as if she was never had a weight issue) and at that point, I realize she was just being a hater. Pure and simple. You are pounds away from your goals. Celebrate your success and leave the haters where they lie..sitting around worried about you. Congratulations on your achievement and I wish you continued success.

To me this sounds like a case of pure jealousy... Maybe later you will find out this is true, but I think she regrets her decision to do bypass instead of the band. I know it is none of my business. LOL.... Just think she is not happy......

[Nanook 2]

I had the lap band and my daughter had the bypass and she did really well lost 150 lbs and I gained weight with the lap band. Because she is my daughter and because of my unconditional love for my daughter I was never jealous of her success but very happy for her. We are individuals and one surgery may work well for one and not for another and that was a hard lesson for me to learn. Eventually I gave myself a second chance at life and revised to gastric bypass and I exercise as much as I did with the band and it comes off, it's just the way we are rewired now. It doesn't last forever and each person has different results. If you're having such a hard time with your "friend" maybe she really isn't a friend and just an associate??

[Grandma26 1]

Fly! First congratulations on your weight loss. I only hope to be as successful.

You have been very successful with your choice for weight loss and that's what counts. You have worked hard, not only have you lost weight, but with the gym work outs you have made you heart, lungs, and every other organ stronger. Being helathy is not only only about losing weight and unfortunately not everyone understands that. I hope your friend continues to have great success with her/his weight loss, and maybe someday will understand the full path to getting and staying healthy. In the mean time.....you are doing great, and an inspiration to all who have chosen this path.

[2Flyguys 13]

i totally agree with u grandma26...in all honesty i strictly wanted to lose weight in the begining of my journey for social acceptance and appreance reasons...now i am sooooooo happy to be fit...i amaze myself when i'm able to run mile after mile....and work-out with the best of them...now i would tell some1 its not all about apperance but ur health as well!!!!!!!! there is a huge difference between just being thin and thin...fit and healthy...i have all 3 working in my favor.

[Catherine55 43]

2Fly, maybe it would be good to get some distance from that friend. What she is doing to you is not nice or supportive. There is no legitimate reason for her to put you down to be validated in her decision.

Maybe she has other good qualities that make staying in touch worthwhile -- but from your post, this doesn't sound like a great person to be around.

Hang in there -- you are doing so amazingly! Actually, you may have the fastest loss rate of anyone I've seen on here!

Best wishes,

Catherine

[Jachut 487]

I can really understand why this irritates you.

It really IS true with the band that you have to work hard so you do learn new habits. I think we probably all underestimate a bit how much the band does for us, but the weight loss is far less automatic than with any surgery and, whilst I think I'd gain if I lost my band, I'm pretty sure I wouldnt be as fat as I was.

Because like you say, I've learned the value of being really fit and I wouldnt give that up. I wouldnt stop running or going to the gym and that's honestly half the battle.

Some people just need more, they simply cant muster the ability to do that extra work that the band requires and that's fine, they also dont "lose" their surgery the way many lose their band. But its not comparing apples with apples.

I'm glad of my choice, and I'm glad that I feel (even if only in my imagination) that I can take credit for my success. Which is hard to say becuase that sounds like I dont think people who have a bypass or sleeve or rny are doing any work at all. See how impossible it is to even begin to compare without insulting people?