I choose to live.

[Drasan 23]

I've been investigating band surgery for months now. I've attended information sessions and support groups and I've done a lot of research.

I took my husband with me to a support group and cried all the way home when he told me he thinks we just need to exercise more and eat less (he is thin and always has been). Of course I need to eat less and exercise more, that's the story of my life. He is afraid for me, worried about the risks. Because of his reaction I stopped thinking about this surgery as a possibility to help me and I continued to be miserable.

Long story made short. In spite of my husband's resistance, I kept an appointment for a consultation. The doctor said something to me that hit home in a BIG way. I'm going to share it. He told me that the average age for a woman to live is 80, with the weight I'm carrying, I can subtract about 13 years off that life expectancy making it 67. I'm 54 so that means I have a life expectancy left of about 13 years. I always wondered what I would do if a doctor told me I only had so long left to live. Well, now I know.

The risks of carrying this weight and doing my yo-yo dieting are much greater; heart disease, diabetes, cancer and etc., than the risks and consequences of the surgery.

If I can theoretically double the years I have left to live, it seems like a no-brainer. My decision is made and I am highly motivated. My doctor and I are shooting for a December surgery. I've already done much of the work and I'm confident I can make that date and make this work.

I choose to live.

[Brockbabe82 0]

I'm so happy to see that you are doing this for the most important person, YOU. Sometimes people are not going to agree with our decisions but you have to do whats best for you. I hope you get your surg. date fast and you succeed in living a happier and healthier you!

[Apples2 19]

Would be nice if you had the support of your husband but you have the right frame of mind thinking about your health and what the added weight is doing to your body.

I was banded June, 2008. I will be 54 in a month. My top weight was 249# and I am 5'6". When it got to the point where I was winded just walking 50 yards, I KNEW I had to do something. I could diet....but I just could not keep it off. I was ALWAYS hungry.

I feel very fortunate to have taken off all of my excess weight and to have no complications whatsoever with the band. I was required to do a six month supervised diet prior to surgery (ins co required) and was able to drop 54lbs b/4 getting my band installed. Like I said...I can diet but keeping it off was always the thing I could not get. But, with taking off those lbs b/4 surgery, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel..I knew I would have the band to help keep them off...I just posted my first photos on this sight last night. Go take a peek in the b/4 and after thread.

I feel so wonderful and could outrun an 19yr old (OK..haven't tried it but feel like I could). I am so active and just so very thankful I went ahead with the band. Good luck to you!

[questions09 0]

Good for you!!! I was just banded on Oct. 14. You have to do it for you and no one else. Your health and well being are most important. All others will come around when they see how happy and healthy you are. keep us posted!!! take care!!

Leslie

[illuminationlady 7]

Mine is a very similiar story...with the husband who won't give up!!! I, too, am keeping all of my appoinments. He did go with me to the seminar but I will not take him to the consult appointment. He's just too negative about the whole thing. He's especially on the band wagon (no pun intended) now that I've lost 12 lbs. on the pre op diet. "See, you can do it!!!" I know I can do it! I've done it before. I am 50 and have a BMI of 43. If I don't do something I won't be here to see my grandchildren. I, too, choose to live!!! :thumbdown:

ps my surgery will be in dec. also. stay in touch!

[Enchanted 2]

At first, the people in my life were not super-supportive of my surgery either.

Here's what I did....but I'm mean. RAWR!

* sent them all a bunch of links and asked them to read and learn

* told them how much I wanted this for me

* demanded their support

I really did demand their support. "I'm going to do this. I need this for me. And I need you to support me."

They all came around....because, really, I don't ask much from people and this time, I demanded it. RAWR!

[gbakerc 2]

Tell your husband that there is a far greater risk of dying from an obesity related disease than the surgery. In my opinion the risks are very very small. I don't think that should really even be part of the equation

[Drasan 23]

Thank you everyone for your supportive responses.

I'm moving forward. I'm scared, but I'm more scared not to.

[adagray 1]

I've had to try to explain it to some naturally skinny people as well and its hard. They equate their struggle w/the last 5-10 pounds and what they have to do to get/keep that off to our obesity problem which is entirely different. The way I've explained it to these people is that I know I'm capable of losing a lot of weight on my own (w/diet and exercise). I've lost up to 50 pounds twice. But, I lose very slow (like a half pound a week) and I have to endure a lot of hunger to even achieve that. They say you have to change your lifestyle, but its not human nature (or humanly possible) to maintain a 'lifestyle' that requires you to be uncomfortably hungry a lot of the time. So, I always gain the weight back.

Statistically, if you are obese (genetically, your body is capable of becoming obese), then the chances of you losing that weight and keeping it off is 2%. Those odds SUCK! Statistically, if you have WLS, the average person keeps off anywhere from 40-60% of their excess weight depending on what study you read (and I believe good aftercare support boosts that number even higher). That might still sounds like it sucks (ha!), but it sure is a hell of a lot better than the alternative. And, most importantly, it gives the obese person a chance to become healthy if they really want to. Still takes work, but it at least gives us a chance. Don't we at least deserve that chance?

[happy2lose 0]

I too encountered unsupportive people but my husband did finally come around after I scheduled my surgery.

I realized after encountering unsupportive family that I was better off not telling them beforehand because I did not want to hear their negative opinions when they had not researched the band and had no clue what they were talking about. After it was all said and done I did tell all my relatives and got nothing but support from them.

I feel it is best for your spouse to attend the consult appointment with you. After talking with my surgeon, my husband felt much better about my decision and gave me all his support.

I hope everything turns out great for you.

Donna

[Drasan 23]

I never cease to be impressed with the members of this community. Your personal experiences, success, struggle, suggestions and support are probably the most valuable resource I've found online or offline.

This morning I did my bloodwork and scheduled my Upper GI.

I'm moving forward, full speed ahead!

Damn the torpedoes (the negative people standing in my way)

Thank you so much!

[tapshoes 2]

As another in her fifties, I too was just sick and tired of carrying the weight around, and enduring the endless yo-yo game of lose some, gain more, lose some, gain more....

I never told anyone anticipating their negative responses, and I only told DH about a week before (I am self-pay so no long pre-op or insurance hoops). Anyway, I prefaced telling him with"I have made this decision for me and my health. I need you to support me - whether you agree or not."

Bless him, he read the material and said that although it would not be a choice for him, whatever I chose to do he would support, because he wanted me around.

I hope your husband becomes like that - non-judgemental and supportive from everything to driving to fill appointments, and making Protein smoothies for those first few weeks, to celebrating my scale victories.

[Drasan 23]

Apples, I can't find the thread you're talking about, The Before and After pics. There seem to be a few like that scattered about but I didn't see your post. Can you get me more information?

[Apples2 19]

Apples, I can't find the thread you're talking about, The Before and After pics. There seem to be a few like that scattered about but I didn't see your post. Can you get me more information?

Just go to top of any page and click on PHOTO and then go down til you see Apples2. Or, just click on Apples2 on any of my posts and will bring you to my public profile and just click on the photo that shows down below the friends list. In the album file

[Catherine55 43]

I love the Give-Information-And-Educate approach. Your DH may well get with the program once the fear factor is taken out of it.

Today is my one year Bandiversary, and I am filled with positive feelings about what the past year has held for me. I have gone from a 1X/16W/20 to a size 12, and have only 12 pounds to go to get to goal. What an amazing ride so far, and knowing that my band will help me keep it off indefinitely is a tremendous source of comfort!

Congratulations for your decision!

Catherine