Anyone pissed off??

[katklaws 0]

I am sorry your experience has been riddled with non information, that sucks.

That sounds more like a function of your particular doctor? That has not been my experience. We even received a manual and had to take 6 weeks of classes to learn the materials.

I hope it gets better for you.

This entire surgery escapade has been riddled with "no information given." When I look back over the last 6 weeks, it seems like 6 months.

[coloradobanding 5]

Reading threads like these makes me happier than ever to have had my surgery where I did! I can understand all these questions and concerns you have AFTER surgery with no preparation for the road you are on.

With that said, FIGHT!!

I get that you feel "duped" or "misinformed" or even pissed. But now that you have the information you need (and were maybe never given), now that you've indicated you're mad, now that you are "where you are" quit being pissed and make the best of it.

If you're hungry, up your Protein..simple fix. If it takes 5 Protein shakes a day, it takes 5 Protein Shakes a day..simple.

If you're not losing, EVALUATE why you're not losing! Many of you are less than 2 months post-op. You don't lose much weight in the first months post-op..period. Focus on what you put in your mouth (every morsel), make good food choices, concentrate on getting your Protein, and concentrate on exercise. If you do this, you will LOSE WEIGHT..PERIOD! You may not lose it in one week, or two, or even over a month, but you WILL LOSE IT..there is absolutely NO DOUBT about that fact!

I had stalled weight loss for over 2 MONTHS!!! In fact, I even GAINED 3lbs! I was working out 5X a week (heavy-duty work outs, not 30 mins here or there, 90+ each time), swam 2X a week, walked the dog daily, and monitored my diet LIKE A HAWK..NO WEIGHT LOSS..NADA..NOTHING...ZILCH!! Then all of a sudden, in week 10 (IMAGINE..TEN WEEKS people) I lost 6lbs, then 3, then 2, then nothing. I didn't change my workout or diet, I did what I was suppose to do. I FOUGHT the hunger, I FOUGHT the urge to lay in bed instead of going to the gym, I FOUGHT the frustration of not losing as fast as I wanted, and I TRULY FOUGHT my own feelings of disappointment. Because I KNEW as long as I was FIGHTING, I would NOT LOSE!! And I didn't!

This journey is NOT easy!! You will be HUNGRY, you will be PISSED, you will be SAD and many will feel REGRET. But this is a journey that will lead you to a better, richer, healthier and thinner life if your FIGHT for it! There is no miracle pill, there is a lifestyle that needs to be adopted LONG TERM to make this work.

Quit complaining, playing the victim or feeling sorry for yourself...MAKE IT HAPPEN!!

YES you may have been misinformed, YES you may be mad at your doctor for not preparing you properly for this journey/surgery, YES you may be discouraged. YOU are the only one who can make this successful.....so quit complaining and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

ACCEPT that you will be hungry sometimes. ACCEPT that you cannot lose 100lbs in a few months. ACCEPT the fact that it could (and probably will) take YEARS for you to reach your ideal goal. ACCEPT that these feelings while fighting weight are NORMAL. ACCEPT THEM for what they are, ADDRESS the issues and what they cause and then...finally...FIGHT!!!

[happy2lose 0]

I applaud you Colorado. Well said!

[martom 0]

omg I was just logging in to post something very similar. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO and am almost in tears. I had my surgery exactly a week ago, it was textbook. He said I didn't even bleed inside. I hardly needed any pain meds, I didn't have any of the dreaded shoulder pain from the gas. I'm doing *great* considering I just had surgery. I went from Clear liquids to full on day 2, and to pureed foods on day 5. I went to the movies 3 days out and to a college football game on Saturday. All of this while feeling restriction and not being hungry. People ate popcorn and all kinds of stuff around me and I was fine. But all of a sudden yesterday, day 6, complete STARVATION. It just hit me all of a sudden, any restriction I had (from the swelling) was gone and my stomach wants food. I'm still on pureed foods but was wondering when it would be safe to move to the mushy "real" foods. Like maybe scrambled eggs? All I'm eating is creamed Soups, hummus, yogurt, mashed potatoes and of course Protein drinks, and I'm sure to put on weight with all that starch. The biggest problem is, I don't know what to do after I'm back on real food! I'm scared, I'm terrified, my doc doesn't give the first fill for 6 weeks. Is that normal? I went to the nut. info thing and it all seemed reasonable.... provided I have restriction, which I don't and won't. I used to be on Nutrisystem and have tons of food left, i was thinking maybe I should just do that again till my first fill?? I am literally starting to freak out, helpppppp.

Valgirl, where in Georgetown, Texas are you because I live here as well and had my surgery done on 10/7/09. Would love to chat with someone who is going through the same things!!

[plain 12]

Quit complaining, playing the victim or feeling sorry for yourself...MAKE IT HAPPEN!!

YES you may have been misinformed, YES you may be mad at your doctor for not preparing you properly for this journey/surgery, YES you may be discouraged. YOU are the only one who can make this successful.....so quit complaining and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

ACCEPT that you will be hungry sometimes. ACCEPT that you cannot lose 100lbs in a few months. ACCEPT the fact that it could (and probably will) take YEARS for you to reach your ideal goal. ACCEPT that these feelings while fighting weight are NORMAL. ACCEPT THEM for what they are, ADDRESS the issues and what they cause and then...finally...FIGHT!!!

Bravo! I hope this inspires those that need a little boost!!

[elcee 3,341]

Colorado, Plain I am in total agreement with both of you.

I do find it scary how many people seem to be under or misinformed. I also find it scary that people think the band is a magic wand that will just make the weight fall off.

My experience has been a walk in the park compared to what some people here are describing.

I had my initial app with my chosen surgeon. My GP had refused to refer me and I hadn't attended any seminars.I asked some questions was given a book and then booked my surgery date and other tests.

I read the book. Found a local support group which I went along to and asked lots of questions. That was probably one of the best things I did as i gained a lot more info than I would have otherwise. I found and joined this forum. Then I met with the dietician who explained the diet. At that stage I was thinking hell can I do this but I cannot say that I didn't know what i was letting myself in for.I was informed that in between meals I would get hungry but that I should just drink and was also told that between fills as the restriction wears off I could also get hungry.I had my final preop app with the surgeon where I asked lots more questions. he told me that I asked a lot more than most people but he was happy to answer them. They were questions that i thought of from being a member of this forum and the other group.

The op went well. Minimal pain that was easily controlled. Driving the next day back at work a week later.

Did I get hungry? Trying to remember...................

I am sure I did but it is something that you soon forget. At the time it is a struggle but it is for a finite amount of time - there is light at the end of the tunnel. When I was hungry I drank broth, ate sugar free jelly, diet mousse or something else that was allowed on my list.

My fills have been slow which is fairly standard practice here in Australia. It is not a money making thing - it is believed that filling too soon or too aggressively is one cause of band slippage.

I have had 5 fills so far for a total of approx 3ml in a 10ml band.

I can eat everything just a lot slower and a lot less than previously.I still eat bread(toasted), meat, chicken, rice, vegetables, Pasta............

Sometimes I get stuck but that doesn't mean I don't eat that particular food again it just means I remember to eat it slower and chew it better.

I DON"T DO Protein shakes - shock horror. I get more than enough Protein from the well balanced diet that I eat. I'm not on Atkins or WW or any other DIET!

My weight is coming off slowly but it is coming off. Rather slow and steady than not at all. I tend to lose .5kg then not lose for the next 2 weeks then lose again. At the moment I am averaging a loss of 2kg(4.4lb) a month. Many of you probably wouldn't be happy with that but I think its great. I live a normal life, eat normal foods and am losing.I have approx 5kg (11lb) to get to my goal.

So yes bandster hell can be awful but it ends. You can't go backwards only forwards so work with what you now know. If you take it one day at a time it makes it a whole lot easier.And adjust your expectations. realise that prior to restriction you may not lose and may even gain. the band is for life it's not a quick fix.

[ElfiePoo 109]

While that was a nice little 'rah rah' tough love post, I thought this was a place for people to find support and acceptance.

This thread is actually a healthy outlet for the anger and frustration people are feeling that their bands are not working the way they thought or because their health care providers are not explaining why they are still hungry...or worse because they have doctors who are using their band as a placebo.

This may be their only outlet. If they're doing this against the wishes of their family, they can't voice their dissatisfaction to them without hearing "I told you so."

They're working out their anger and frustration which is much better than burying it and using food to assuage these emotions.

To all those who are 'pissed off'...the anger and frustration are healthy but it is a process. At some point, you need to move in a forward positive direction. Let your anger and frustration motivate you to *do* something. No fill, no restriction and hungry? Call your doctor and *demand* an answer. If they say you need to go on WW or exercise, and you don't even have restriction, I'd seriously look at finding another doctor to take you on but if that is not possible, sit on your doctor's doorstep until you get some action. Take control.

.

[coloradobanding 5]

This is DEFINITELY the place for support, advice and acceptance, no doubt about that!

I didn't post my comments to be "tough love" or a "rah rah" as you put it. I put in my comments because someone did that for me, and, get ready..IT WORKS!!!

I was complaining about this, discouraged about that, and got a whole lot of posts saying "it's ok, you're doing fine, etc" which is what I wanted. What I got was ONE poster who said what I needed to hear..THE TRUTH!!

When I first read it, I was UPSET, APPALLED and SAD! I mean WHY would someone say such horrible things when I'm so down and need support?? BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH!!!!

I cannot tell you how much reading that post changed me! It TRULY turned my entire life around for the better!

There will ALWAYS be someone telling you what you want to hear..but getting the truth, no matter how direct or painful, is what you really NEED to hear although it wasn't what you wanted..

[plain 12]

While that was a nice little 'rah rah' tough love post, I thought this was a place for people to find support and acceptance.

Right on both counts. What constitutes "support and acceptance" varies from person to person. One of the things I like best about this site is the diversity of opinions.

[coloradobanding 5]

Right on both counts. What constitutes "support and acceptance" varies from person to person. One of the things I like best about this site is the diversity of opinions.

Very well worded! It's so much easier to have someone else put in words exactly what you'd like to say!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Okay, my personal prespective. Remember, this is just me and my view of things. Hunger is part of every diet. Statistically, that's why diets fail because people are always hungry and say "screw the diet".

I was so hungry after the first week. I truly thought I would not survive. Then, while sitting on the couch having a minor pity party for myself, I had a personal epiphany. l am an addict. To food. No control, no “off” switch as to I’ve had enough. That’s why I was fat. (not overweight—FAT!) Hunger is a manifestation of my addiction. Just like a drug addict gets DVT’s when they are going through withdrawal and like someone trying to quit smoking goes through nicotine withdrawal, my hunger pains are the result of withdrawal from my addiction. So every time I feel hunger, I ask myself, “am I really hungry?” or is this a withdrawal symptom.

Was I pissed off, you bet I was. I was mad at myself for living with an addiction for years and doing nothing about it until now. However, I can’t live in the past and will only focus on the future. What does that entail? Doing anything I must to lose this weight and become healthy.

I understand the frustration about not being told about the hunger, but this is a diet and lifestyle change and I am having trouble understanding why people are mad that they were not told they would be hungry. Perhaps your healthcare team assumed that you would know there would be sacrifices like feeling hunger as part of this process. Or perhaps because I am a glass half full kind of woman I expected the worse and what I am experiencing is exactly that. I didn’t have this surgery to make the band do all the work—I did this surgery because I need to take charge and use it as a tool.

My view too :w00t:- I love the way you put it :scared2:

I say that my head hungry manifest it's self in to me thinking I am physically hungry...

Just the other night I was physically full - but my body was craving more food (my drug of choice) but remember I was physicall full

Pple it doesn't get better (even at your sweet spot which I am ) - I'm 2 yrs 3 months out and this is still going on - Once an addict always and addict - Today I have control and that's how I have taken this journery - Once day at a time.

Hell it's normal to be hungry before a meal - a little hunger isn't going to kill you but the fat will..

[LisaMc 1]

I say that my head hungry manifest it's self in to me thinking I am physically hungry...

Just the other night I was physically full - but my body was craving more food (my drug of choice) but remember I was physicall full

Pple it doesn't get better (even at your sweet spot which I am ) - I'm 2 yrs 3 months out and this is still going on - Once an addict always and addict - Today I have control and that's how I have taken this journery - Once day at a time.

Hell it's normal to be hungry before a meal - a little hunger isn't going to kill you but the fat will..

I would put myself in the category of the "pissed off." LOL Why am I mad? I could write pages about why I am mad. Hunger is just one of the reasons, actually one of the more minor ones.

I have acknowledged, a long time ago, that I am an addict. When I made this realization, the issue of "fat" became much more pressing. It was no longer "one day I will lose the weight." It was "I need to do something drastic, today, to get this monkey off my back once and for all." That epiphany led me to my surgeon's office for the first time 10 months ago. It took 8 months for the insurance company to agree to pay for it. Now I am almost 2 months out from surgery.

I NEVER SAW THE BAND AS A CURE ALL. NEVER. I always viewed it as a tool to help me through this battle I would wage over the addiction. I expected it to help me in a way I had never had before. I was so incredibly optimistic regarding the addiction for the first time in a long, long time. Then my hope...my tool....my band did absolutely NOTHING. I have determined that I am in the deep throes of bandster hell. I can accept that. I am just extrememly frustrated by the lack of information I got and the lack of help I get ongoing.

As you addicts know, momentum in this journey is everything! Have you ever started a regular diet when you were not in the mental frame of mind to do it? It is basically impossible to stay on it. When you are doing well and mentally up for the challenge, you can conquer anything. I was up for this challenge. I was ready. I was happy. I was optimistic. My first two months have taken a huge toll on that momentum. Will I ultimately make it work.....

A HUGE "Yes!" I am committed to make it work. Am I mad that I am getting no help from my band? A HUGE "Yes!" I just keep saying to myself that I am not to that hallowed "sweet spot" yet. Eventually I hope I get there. So far, I haven't even known that I had a band at all. Yesterday I got my 4th fill for 1.5 cc. I now have 4.0cc in a 10cc band. I still can feel no restriction. I have another fill in 13 days. I should have 5.0 cc after that. Who knows how many it will take? The process has been super slow.

Just to sum up this long rant.....I don't expect miracles. I just expect the help that was promised with the band. I don't have that at all.

[adagray 1]

I feel bad that your doctors didn't set your expectations right. On one of my first visits to my surgeon's office, I met w/a nutritionist who asked me which surgery I was interested in and when I said lapband, she made a point of explaining that I need to understand that the weight will not just fall off (like w/RNY) immediately after lapband surgery. She told me I might not lose any weight in the first two months while my body is healing from surgery. And, that it takes most people 6 months to get to the proper fill level. She also explained that there are some foods I may no longer be able to eat (some foods that a lot of people can't tolerate after lapband - like bread) and that once I get to the proper fill level, I should be aiming for losing 1-2 pounds per week.

I haven't had my surgery yet and I have to admit that others experiences of losing faster makes me hope that I might enjoy similar results. But, I will be happy either way. Even though you can supposedly lose 1-2 pounds per week on WW (I've done it before when I was younger), as I get older, it gets harder and I can really only lose .5 per week on WW now even if I do it perfectly (and am hungry all the time).

So, the lady who complained about only losing 26 pounds in 10 weeks, I'm really thinking that rate of loss is pretty good... 2.6 pounds per week. I would LOVE that!

Of course, the hunger part immediately after surgery and being told only to drink shakes for an extended period of time would get to me, but my surgeon's office does not ask you to do that. They want you on real food ASAP because long-term its solid foods that will keep you full on lapband (not liquids and squishy stuff that goes right through). Of course, maybe this is why they set expectations that you might lose nothing the first 2 months... because they get you on solid food ASAP and you have no restriction at that point.

Edited October 16, 2009 by adagray

[coloradobanding 5]

I would put myself in the category of the "pissed off." LOL Why am I mad? I could write pages about why I am mad. Hunger is just one of the reasons, actually one of the more minor ones.

I have acknowledged, a long time ago, that I am an addict. When I made this realization, the issue of "fat" became much more pressing. It was no longer "one day I will lose the weight." It was "I need to do something drastic, today, to get this monkey off my back once and for all." That epiphany led me to my surgeon's office for the first time 10 months ago. It took 8 months for the insurance company to agree to pay for it. Now I am almost 2 months out from surgery.

I NEVER SAW THE BAND AS A CURE ALL. NEVER. I always viewed it as a tool to help me through this battle I would wage over the addiction. I expected it to help me in a way I had never had before. I was so incredibly optimistic regarding the addiction for the first time in a long, long time. Then my hope...my tool....my band did absolutely NOTHING. I have determined that I am in the deep throes of bandster hell. I can accept that. I am just extrememly frustrated by the lack of information I got and the lack of help I get ongoing.

As you addicts know, momentum in this journey is everything! Have you ever started a regular diet when you were not in the mental frame of mind to do it? It is basically impossible to stay on it. When you are doing well and mentally up for the challenge, you can conquer anything. I was up for this challenge. I was ready. I was happy. I was optimistic. My first two months have taken a huge toll on that momentum. Will I ultimately make it work.....

A HUGE "Yes!" I am committed to make it work. Am I mad that I am getting no help from my band? A HUGE "Yes!" I just keep saying to myself that I am not to that hallowed "sweet spot" yet. Eventually I hope I get there. So far, I haven't even known that I had a band at all. Yesterday I got my 4th fill for 1.5 cc. I now have 4.0cc in a 10cc band. I still can feel no restriction. I have another fill in 13 days. I should have 5.0 cc after that. Who knows how many it will take? The process has been super slow.

Just to sum up this long rant.....I don't expect miracles. I just expect the help that was promised with the band. I don't have that at all.

What an EXCELLENT post! Thank you for sharing! There were so many similarities in your post that I experienced. I was lucky though, that I had the correct knowledge beforehand. It truly makes a huge difference.

I can tell you, hopefully it will help some, that you will hit your sweet spot. And when you do, this time, this "bandster hell," will be a distant memory.

I don't know if you have kids, or been through child-birth, but those who have know that the whole pregnancy is a nightmare, the birth painful and draining, and you think "I will NEVER do this again." Those are the same people with like 5 kids..LMAO. What I'm saying is, that you forget as time goes on, at least I did!

Bandster Hell SUCKS so bad!! It really does, but you have the EXACT mentality to plow through it and come out a HUGE success! Keep thinking exactly how you are thinking, it will be over before you know it. I know it's not easy to hear during the actual "hell" but one day, you will be dropping weight, and have to stop and think to even remember you have a band!

Once you get to the sweet spot, life goes back to "normal" and your new lifestyle gives you so much energy and excitement, Bandster Hell is almost like a band of courage.

You're doing GREAT, keep fighting, you WILL WIN!!!

[emjay 8]

Right on both counts. What constitutes "support and acceptance" varies from person to person. One of the things I like best about this site is the diversity of opinions.

Very well worded! It's so much easier to have someone else put in words exactly what you'd like to say!

Support, acceptance - it does vary. And any of us that have been on this site for awhile knows that sometimes you have to choose your words very carefully or get bit. But I come to this forum not only for support but also for someone to give me a reality check and call me out on it if I am not doing what I need to do to stay focused. You know, like a good friend - not one that just agrees with everything you say. The kind that reminds you to hold yourself accountable.

That being said - Bandster Hell is absolute hell, there's no other way about it. My SIL is to be banded in a couple of weeks and I've been very up front with her about what her next couple of months will be like. Encourage anyone you know that may be considering going thru this process to go to a support group if they can and hear what those who are already banded are struggling with, tips for the transition to bandster life, and mutual support. You can hear all the great things that the docs say and the commercials make it sound so easy, but hear from the actual people that have had it and see if they would do it again, their experiences, and see if it is the right choice for them.

I really feel for ALL of you going thru bandster hell right now. It is the pits. And honestly, I think the first 3-4 months (the pre-op and post-op period included) were far the worst part of the process because you still remember you're old eating patterns, have little or no restriction and are truly going thru more than just physical withdrawal, but it also requires a change in your mental attitude. Hard...you bet. But it really does get easier if you try and stay focused on the goal.