Will I Ever See the REAL ME??

[sweetbean70 2]

Hello! I was just wondering if I will ever see the skinnier me or will I always see myself as fat. I know that I am losing weight because I am down 3 sizes and have lost 50+ pounds. People give me compliments all the time of how great I look and that they can really see a difference in my size. But, when I look into the mirror I don't see such a big difference. I am also having a mindblock when it comes to shopping for new clothes. I've had to exchange several articles of clothing b/c I bought too big of a size. When I hold up a size 22, I say to myself that there is no way that I can fit into this (I used to be a tight size 28) and buy a size 24 instead. For my birthday in August, my mother bought me some 18/20 panties (longstanding family tradition). I put them in my underwear drawer b/c I knew it would be a loooong time before I could wear them. Well, I decided to wear a pair of them earlier this week and they fit perfectly! Why do I keep selling myself so short???

[drtoliver 0]

I am with you on this one and I have the same question. I was banded 6/10/09 and am down 44 pounds and still wear the same clothes, even though they are getting really baggy and don't look the best. I guess I am too scared to try on anything else in case it may not fit and I will be disappointed and lets face it, sometimes, I guess being fat is comfortable because it is familiar. Not the best thinking, but it is how I think. Need to change it but am not sure how to do that. I understand and feel your pain on this one. Hope someone who has been there and got past it will post something that will help!!!:wink2:

[Mimilou2004 13]

I, too, am having problems with self image. I am a loose 12 but found myself back in the plus size department this morning. DrToliver, you are right about it being the known and comfort zone. I think that I am afraid to shop in the regular sizes!!

Mimi

[ThinAli 0]

I haven't started feeling like this yet but I know I will! That is why I have a therapist for when I feeling like this because you are not going to break this without having a good therapist to talk these feelings out. You have to reprogram your self. And trust me it is hard but therapy while it can be expensive, I pay $85 a session, it totally is worth it! I have been before and it is important to find someone you are comfortable with. I soon will find myself back in the chair!! I know that for sure!!1

[Catherine55 43]

Therapy is great -- but have you thought about taking regular photos of yourself? It might help to be able to see your picture in the context of photos from weeks past.

If you can see the changes in the pictures, that may help you to recognize them when you look in the mirror and to remember the ways that you have improved when you picture yourself in your mind.

Congratulations on your success!! At some point the fact that you are much thinner is bound to sink in!

Catherine

[shannybp 0]

Hi Everyone

I had these exact problems I would not buy new cloths because I was actually scared. What did it mean if I fit in a smaller size? What did it mean if I didn't. A friend suggested that i go to the store and pick up the size I wear a size smaller and size larger. She said then start with the largest size and work your way down. I did this and it did work. This weekend I had to go buy jeans because my current ones were literally falling off of me, I had to talk myself through picking up a smaller size and brining it into the dressing room. I kind of think that it comes from wanting to be smaller for so long and now that it is here, I am worried that may be I just think I lost weight. Or at least for me. Good luck and let me know how the shopping goes.

[happy2lose 0]

I am dealing with the same thing. I view myself larger then my actual size.

One thing that is really nice is at the gym I go to (Curves) The Smart program they use gets updated each month with my measurements and shows my body size but it is still really hard to see the difference since they don't have the old size to compare to.

Is this body image always going to be an issue or will we someday be able to view ourselves as thin?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Edited October 7, 2009 by happy2lose
I seriously need to learn to proofread before I hit post.

[Breeezie 0]

Self Image is one of my biggest downfalls, I completely understand where you are coming from and often feel the same way myself. I have never seen myself or felt any smaller than I was at my biggest.

Well that was until today. I woke up this morning and felt completely different, I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was until I walked past the mirror. I felt smaller, what a shock that was, I sort of just stood there for a few mintues trying to work it out. I mean I didn't look any different than I did yesterday, yet my mind told me I was smaller :redface:.

When I got to work and started putting the date on things I realised that it as 2 years ago today that I got my band. It's weird that today, of all days, I felt this way. I still have weight to lose, its moving slowly and i know getting it off is all in my head, but today, for the first time in a long time, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel :wink2:.

Give your mind time to catch up to your body, squish any negative thoughts that might creep up and remember you are doing great:thumbup:.

When I hit a rough patch I make sure to read the little mantra I stuck on the front of my diary that says:

I am a BEAUTIFUL person.

I am STRONG and WISE.

I have so much to SHARE with the world.

I am allowed to be happy, SUCCESSFUL and loved.

I DESERVE good things in my life.

It reminds me why I started this journey. I did it for myself and my health. Perhaps you could put something similar on your mirror, where you could read it every morning, maybe with an old picure of yourself next to it. For example:

I have LOST (X amount) of pounds.

(X amount of) sizes GONE.

I FEEL better because ...

I look FANTASTIC today.:cursing:

etc etc ...

Good Luck Everyone!

Edited October 8, 2009 by Breeezie
I had an idea ... dingdingding!

[isaviolinist 11]

I feel the similarly. I haven't gone shopping for clothes or anything yet and so I have no idea what size I actually am. But at this weight/height I know I am still in plus sizes (despite my weight loss). I probably won't go shopping until I'm under 200 (about 20 pounds to go!). And actually, when I "go shopping" it will probably be to just try on some clothes to see what size 199 equals. I am thinking I won't buy any significant amount of clothes until I reach 150-160. We shall see.

[JENNIFER7375 3]

The self image thing has definitely been hard for me. sometimes i just can't picture myself as a thin person. I'me a size 6 or 8 now and sometimes still find myself looking at 16s and 18s.

sometimes its hard just to get over the way people treat you. men in particular. Anywhere i go now doors get opened. drinks get bought by guys who would'nt have paid me any attention 75lbs ago.That and a whole lot of my girlfriends are funny acting now. They were all happy and supportive until i got smaller than some of them. Now they say i look anorexic and need to eat. i think just the difference in the way people treat you is so dramatic at times its no wonder some of us are insecure.

a big step for me was besides tshirts and work out clothes i gave away everything in my closet that was too big.It was harder to get a good look at the new me in clothes 6 sizes too big.

but it does start to get better. Ive taken a lot of pics along the way. so when i feel insecure and fat i can look and see the difference. thats helped a lot. and another thing im trying to learn is how to take a complement. we all need to learn that. So when someone says how great i look now i just say thank you, instead of saying no i dont. or that im still fat. We all need to learn this. and ladies you all look fantastic!!

[lompocbander 1]

I have the opposite problem, I look in the mirror and I'm surprised to find a "fat" me. So, getting the weight off is a good thing, the real me is starting to show up again, and I like to see her! I'm guessing the difference is that I was thin or normal weight for most of my life and only gained weight after the age of 45, so my self image was already set as a thin person. I'm glad to be getting rid of fat person clothing. It feels great to fit in airline seats again. I hate doing clothing shopping while fat and I'm looking forward to getting thin enough to enjoy getting new clothing again. :wink2:

[mamalovell 0]

I still wear clothes that are way to big. Everyone yells at me for it but I am comfortable this way. My biggest problem is when I go out I still try and avoid booths because I still think I can't fit into them. I have went from a size 30 to a size 16 and I am down 132lbs. The other day a co-worker sent me a picture of myself 1 month before surgery and I cried. I couldn't believe that was me. Pictures are the best thing to help you realize how different you look.

[2livesmart 0]

I know exactly how you feel. i have a hard time shopping as well. I gave away some clothes last week and part of me was like....maybe I should keep these just in case. People tell me that they can see the weight loss but I have a harder time seeing it. I guess it just comes with the territory. I wish you continued success!

[Foxxy 0]

I hate that I feel that way. Every couple of weeks I go visit my father and he always says that I am losing alot of weight, I havent lost alot of weight, but from exercising I've lost inches and I always say I DO NOT SEE IT!! I look in the mirror I still see that fat face, double chin, big stomach girl. I hate it! I cannot wait until I can see it differently. Until then, I will continue to work it out!

[NikkiReyes 1]

I have had the same self image problems as well. Every night whenever I get ready to take my bath, I think when will "I" ever notice the weight loss. Then yesterday I looked in the mirror and thought I have curves again. I actually have a waist. I could see it in my clothes and I did finally go buy me some new clothes because my old ones were just falling off of me. I am finally getting excited, I was very leary of buying new clothes; I kept telling myself I just didn't want to spend all the extra money when I would only be able to wear them for a month or two anyways. But when I slid on that 18 and it was just a tad to tight, I couldn't help it I got excited just because; hey I could at least slide on a 18 and button it! Every day for me gets better and better. It will for all of you too.