Feel like a failure already...

[abercchic 0]

I'm 4 weeks post op and have realized I can pretty much eat anything with no problem and can definitely eat more than the recommended 1/2 cup. I was told to try to keep my calories around 800 which sounds really low to me so it has been hard. I have been journaling my food and keeping up with calories and doing pretty well until the past couple of days. My sister's birthday was this weekend so we went out to eat and I ate more than I should have and had birthday cake. Now I've eaten the left over birthday cake for 3 days in a row!!! I feel guilty everytime after I eat it yet that doesn't stop me from doing it again the next day! UGHHH! I'm so mad at myself and discouraged because I can't even seem to stay on track so early in my journey. I really REALLY don't want to fail at this. I don't get my first fill for another two weeks and I basically have no restriction so it's up to me and my will power for a while which is a scary thought seeing as how I haven't done so well these past few days. I just don't want to take any steps backwards and have to start over like I've had to so many times in the past. Anyway, just looking for some support and was wondering if anyone else is going through the same thing right now?

[drew05 20]

To be 100% honest with you the first few weeks after surgery I felt like a failure too. I found I could eat almost anything and I even PB'd a little because I ate too fast and too big of things. But that didn't stop me. The only thing that stopped me was myself. My willpower. You need to make that change in you to will yourself away from the cake.

And I can still eat anything I want and a lot of it. I've forced food down with Water before. And I'm still doing great. Just wanted to let you know that you can fall off the wagon but so long as you have the support, willpower and want to get back on, you can. And well, you've got all the support you need with us here :thumbup:

[jms462001 9]

I was banded 11/24 so you know what came up in December.......Christmas parties and very little restriction. I ate the brownies and Cookies as it got closer to Christmas, but I didn't eat near as much as I would have. The cake is probably gone now. Just get back on track with healthy food and don't worry about losing weight until you start having fills. A year from now, that cake will be forgotten and you probably will not be having urges to eat it any longer (it's a food I can't eat!)

[elgrad 0]

I do feel the same way. I am two weeks out from my banding, was allowed to go onto mushies a little early and thought I knew what I was doing when I decided to eat some baked chicken last night. WRONG! Boy, did I hurt for a few minutes. Scared me a lot.

As to the cake, here's a tip that my mom gave me a long time ago, after she lost a lot of weight: Wash all your food before you eat it! Yep, just give that old cake a good wash in hot Water. You would be amazed at how many calories will be gone after that :thumbup: Works for all those unhealthy choices - candy, cake, etc.

Seriously tho, don't be so hard on yourself. We have all been on this journey for so long that we sometimes revert to old habits. You will change, once you find your sweet spot and these things will just be a part of your learning curve. Laugh a little, especially at yourself, and try to relax. It will all come out alright.

Elgrad

[ruby2508 0]

You are not alone. Except my journey is backwards from yours. In the beginning weeks and months after surgery I did everything I was supposed to do. Ate very little outside of what I was supposed to. The weight came off and stayed but now 14 months later and stalled for almost a year now....I eat anything and everything and seem to have a bottomless pit. My doc is working with me to get to the bottom of my issues but I truly think I am just not tight enough for my will to eat. I actually have thrown up and waited a few minutes and then continue to try to eat. Pretty sick huh..... I am not going to quit. I will continue to push forward and look at each day as a new day. I have kept the weight off that I lost and that is a plus. Hang in there and remember this is a marathon not a sprint. Good luck to you and enjoy your journey.

[Natman 0]

Hey there.

Glad you said it before me! I'm having the same battle. It seemed that all of a sudden there was nothing to stop me eating anything I wanted all over again.

Let's be honest though.....none of us hear went through the "fun and frivolity" of gastric banding because we found it easy to just use our willpower to restrict our eating habits. That sounds so much like cartoon superhero stuff that I have to laugh when people say "couldn't you just not eat bad things?". Even those people who ask those dumb questions have their cake days I can promise you that.

I have a cousin who is the fittest person I know. She rides a couple of hundred km's in an afternoon just because she has nothing better to do...you'd think she lived on lettuce or something by the look of her. Yet I'm not brave enough to get between her and the tub of chocolate ice-cream when the mood takes her!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is pretty hard! Don't beat yourself up over a couple of bits of cake. You know the rules and you kinda broke a basic one. We all have. If you can't see it right now, let me remind you that you've made a bigger decision for your future health and shown a real commitment to seeing it through by trying to do what is right. You should be proud of what you've achieved so far.

I say congratulations on making it this far and being strong enough to try! Small slips happen and you've done the hard work in being able to see it before it becomes a habit.

:thumbup:

[ElfiePoo 109]

As to the cake, here's a tip that my mom gave me a long time ago, after she lost a lot of weight: Wash all your food before you eat it! Yep, just give that old cake a good wash in hot Water. You would be amazed at how many calories will be gone after that :thumbup: Works for all those unhealthy choices - candy, cake, etc.

ROFLMAO. I think I'd like your mom.

Birthday cakes are dumped into the trash after the party right along with the paper cups and plates cuz if it's there, I'll eat it even with the best of intentions.

.

[justmel1957 1]

Indeed willpower is the game in the beginning of this journey. It will get easier for most. Until you get better restriction you will struggle with this. Once you reach a decent restriction you hopefully will find it much easier to let those tempting items go by.

I occasionally have a few bites of something sweet and taboo, but am satisfied with just a little.

Hang on........it does get easier for most of us.

[LollyMoe 1]

Forgive yourself and go forward! Just remember to send the extra home with someone else or throw it away. Once the party is over, you have gotten your money's worth out of the cake and it isn't going to feed the kids in China, so get rid of it in a way that it doesn't wind up in your stomach!

No one said this was going to be easy. You made a decision to do something pretty drastic and you can be successful with it. It just takes work everyday.

I say again....FORGIVE yourself & GO FORWARD.

[GlenSand 1]

Aber c,

I have been there too! I was banded in January. Right afterward, after my liquids and mushies, I could eat anything and I did. I ate much less than usual though and took comfort in that. Was really looking forward to my fills.

The fillls are key! They are what give us restriction. They take it slow, so our pouches can adjust to it. I had a little restriction after my first, and had to start obeying the LAP-BAND® rules. Eating slow and little bites. Before my fills, these were unnecesarry.

At my third fill I reached my sweet spot! That is the time that I could only eat 1/2 to 1 cup of food at a time. Before that, there was no stoping me. I got uber tight after a month and had to get a little taken out. Now I am perfect.

I know it's hard at first, but take it slow. Understand the process. It will work and you will lose weight! The rules don't make sense right now, but they will. I remember my first sliming incident. It was a few days after my 2nd fill. It was totally unexpected and was intense. However, I knew what it was because of all the information I had learned from this LBT! That's when the rules kicked in. I needed to really follow them now.

I guess in a nutshell, I'm saying, hang in there and don't beat yourself up. You have no restriction yet. Right after surgery there was swelling, now there is nothing. You will see a big differance after your fills, I promise.

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!

[davsil 0]

When first banded you are not going to have any restriction. This is normal. Until you get filled (and that can take several tries before you really feel it engage) you need to put yourself on a regular, old DIET. (Nasty word - I know.)

Until you have restriction you will be able to eat as much as you want. But none of went through this ordeal to continue eating the way we used to. So this calls for a period of hard work - not eating the old way and learning new habits. Once you get filled and get restriction you'll know it and it should become easier.

And you have the people here to support you. :thumbup:)

[Blund 0]

I didn't really get any restriction until around my 4th fill, so don't feel bad. I'm 1 1/2 yr out from surgery, and have 'stalled' like some of the others mentioned. I have vomited, pb'd, slimed, etc. I hadn't gotten a fill since late in 2008, and just recently got a 1/4 cc (yes, only 1/4!) fill and what a difference! I would never have thought that small amount would make a difference. I feel full faster, but I still just like to eat and overeat! I thought I'd be doing better at the 'head hunger' by now, but I guess I had 45 years to make my overeating habit, I can't expect it to go away that quickly. I've been reading the OA threads for inspiration.

[abercchic 0]

Thanks so much everyone! It really helps to hear that most of you have "been there, done that." I really appreciate all the support! Time to suck it up and get back in diet mode until I get some restriction. I don't know why I thought that after the band all of a sudden years of bad eating habits would just disappear. Time to throw away the stupid cake!!

[b9409 1]

Hey Aber....

I am exactly the same as you....can eat the same portion size as before, have zero restriction, and have a hard time "willing" myself not to eat crap food. Plus, I'm getting pessimistic knowing that even after my first fill on Friday, it will take a couple of more fills before I get to the point where I simply can't eat those crap foods.

Thank you SOOOOOOOO much for posting this. Your honesty is very helpful to me...I've been feeling so ashamed at feeling like I'm failing. It's been really hard, and I almost feel worse about myself after surgery than before for the exact same reason that you posted on here.

Also, thanks to everyone else for responding! Reading all of these thoughts has been a life-saver (or maybe a self-esteem saver...).

Thanks!

[tzn 0]

I am going through the same thing and I am miserable!! I'm so ashamed I have avoided posting on the sept bandsters .. My surger was sept 8th and my fill is tomorrow morning. Oh I pray that it helps ..