HELP!!!Trying to make this make sense...

[ldswims 0]

So I'm not really the kind of person that deals well with uncertainty. And the notion of this could be this or this could be this or this could be this DRIVES ME CRAZY!

So do I have to do three months of supervised diet/exercise? Six months? None?

So do I worry about my BMI falling? It's 40.4 right now. I have no other underlying conditions. I have had a stress test, carotid doppler, full pulmonary workup and echo of my heart in the past six months and all was fine well and good. So if my BMI falls below 40 by next tues, I might be screwed. Now that's a weird statement to make!

Screwed because I'm losing weight?

Yep. Screwed. Because it WILL come back. It always does. I'm in a cycle right now where without trying, I'm losing. In about two weeks that will switch. But my visit with my PCP is BEFORE that.

I want to do something that will curb this! I want to feel better. I want to not be in pain just for trying to do what I love to do. I want to think that I can chase my future children around the house and ENJOY it! I want to think that I can make my husband think - ooh, she's all mine. I want to FEEL BETTER!

So my biggest problem is that...what...? I eat too much? I eat three meals a day. A smoothie for Breakfast. A sandwich for lunch. And some sort of dinner that is not over and above on the portion size - a Protein, two veggies and a starch. I do not generally eat desert as I do not generally like sweet things. I swim. I lift weights. I walk. I have been to see nutritionists in the past and they've ALL said I eat well and right. I've had personal trainers who were impressed with my ability to do situps for hours. I've had gym memberships and now a gym and a pool in my own home. And with all this...I STILL GAIN WEIGHT!

So if my BMI falls below 40 by next week, I'm screwed.

But will this surgery "fix" me? I'll eat less. But can I not do that on my own? I served in the military for a decade. I understand discipline. I am a motivated person, always have been. I am competitive - makes me a fast swimmer.

So I called the insurance company. And I DO have to do six months of physician controlled weight loss. It's to "see if my BMI can fall" but it's also " to see if I can do this on my own". And if I can do this on my own, they can throw out the claim just because of that.

So then why would I bother with the danged co-pays? I CAN do this on my own. I always have been able to. I CANNOT keep it off! That's why I need help.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.

Edited October 1, 2009 by ldswims

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Hello lds! Welcome to LBT! I will try to answer your questions to best of my ability.

So do I have to do three months of supervised diet/exercise? Six months? None?

- That will depend on your insurance or your Surgeon’s program. My insurance, Blue Shield required I complete 6 one-month dietician appointments. Then, my Surgeon also wanted me to have 1 appointment with his RD.

So do I worry about my BMI falling?

- This also will depend on what your insurance will require of you. I was too high of a BMI at the time so I was in no danger of going under 40. Also, I did have a co-morbidity so that is also different than yourself. You’ll want to contact your insurance advisor or surgeon to find out if this might be a problem for you.

I want to do something that will curb this! I want to feel better. I want to not be in pain just for trying to do what I love to do. I want to think that I can chase my future children around the house and ENJOY it! I want to think that I can make my husband think - ooh, she's all mine. I want to FEEL BETTER!

- Well I can tell you from personal experience that all of this happened to and for me post banding. I’ve lost around 100 Lbs and even though I’m only half there I can already tell you I have so much more energy. My husband DOES tell me, oh yeah you’re all mine! How awesome is that? I feel so much better about myself, and best of all my high blood pressure is all but cured!!

But will this surgery "fix" me? I'll eat less. But can I not do that on my own? I served in the military for a decade. I understand discipline. I am a motivated person, always have been. I am competitive - makes me a fast swimmer.

- Well, yes and no. The surgery will do two things for you and those two things only. It will prevent you from over eating, and it will help to keep you satisfied with what you’ve eaten for a longer period of time pre-band. Here’s what it won’t do for you, it won’t stop you from eating the bad stuff. I won’t make you get up and workout. It won’t magically slough off the pounds for you. Nope, won’t do that. Also, don’t put so much merit into it preventing weight gain. I can tell you from personal experience that you CAN and you WILL gain weight with the band, IF you do wrong things. I’m not just talking a few pounds. I mean, you really can gain all your weight back if you don’t catch it soon enough. That being said, it sounds like you are a very dedicated person to a healthy program so you will likely do an awesome job with the lap-band!

I really hope this helps. If you need anymore support, this is a great place to get it!

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Lori, I suggest that if at all possible have your surgeon supervise your diet period. They can help you to act appropriately. And go ahead and eat now .....a few extra pounds never hurt in this situation. I know, who thought a fat person would be in the position of NOT wanting to lose any weight??

[ldswims 0]

Thank you both for responding. It seems so incredibly counterintuitive (there's that word again) to either 1) not care about gaining weight for now or 2) actually TRY to gain weight.

I...urgh...I know they want to know who's serious, who's a wise investment, who really wants to change, who is likely to be successful. But all of this is also so much like a game. And I hate games. At least this kind. Love board games. Love cards. Love dominoes. But emotional tag? I'm not very into it!

If I know me at all, if I TRY to gain weight...I WILL LOSE IT! Yay! And in the same caveat, right now, if I TRY to lose weight, I'll do that, too. Have to laugh about that, I must say. It is funny.

I would hope that my family history of diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol and cancer might aid in me being on that border that I'm on. I just want answers. Like I said...I don't tolerate uncertainty very well....

[ldswims 0]

What a strange range of feelings and emotions this all brings about. Who ever thought SURGERY would be exciting? Who ever thought losing weight would be terrifying? If you'd told me that I would feel what I feel and think what I think now that I've decided to seriously explore (read make up my mind to do this) this, I'd have said you were nuts!

So the surgeon's office called this morning and needed to move my consult appt up. Turns out that it got moved a lot - from Oct 22 to Oct 7. So I will have some answers next week and the process will start next week. It just feels like next week will be huge for me!

I think, though, the excitement is more aptly for HOPE. And the terrified is more aptly for the unknown....

I'll take both!