Struggling With Some Of The Changes

[~Michelle~ 0]

I have lost over 50lbs, and dropped about 3 sizes, and very quickly getting ready to go down another size. I am thinner than I have been in very long time. I am (for the most part) happy with results, but I have a lot of extra skin, and my breasts have changed also. When I was heavier I was pretty secure with my body, but now I am not. I am terrified of how I am going to look when I get to goal. I do exercise, and have not really seen results. There are some places like my arms, and breasts that I don't think anything but surgery can fix. I really don't want to go through surgery again, and really not even sure that is something I could pull off financially. I almost wish I had my fat back. Because at least I didn't sag when I was heavier, and I had more cleavage.

The other thing that has really been bothering me, is when someone tells me "you've lost so much weight, you are so pretty now." I thought I was pretty before, and I really want to knock out the next person who says this me. I don't mind the wow looking good, or keep up the good work. I don't even mind when people ask me how much I have lost. It's when someone makes me feel like because I am/was fat I couldn't be pretty. I know that it is just the way things are, and people can be shallow, but it just angers me so much. Especially when they themselves aren't super models.

[kkarryall 0]

I also hate it when people tell me I am so pretty now! It's kind of like a back-handed-compliment! Anyway, I think that it is very tough losing all this weight. I have lost 116 lbs, so you can imagine and hanging and loose skin on me! I have already resigned myself that I will have the surgery and that is that. I am only 32 years old and I didn't do all this work to have a body that I am NOT happy with!!

Good luck and think of how much healthier you are now!!!

[sandiegokate 0]

Oh, I know those comments. When I lost a lot of weight in the past (and gained it all back, which is why I am here today!), I had people say "I bet you feel so much better about yourself now".. I thought, "huh"?? I finally started saying "No, I've always had good self esteem and felt good about myself, it was only weight.. and if weight was the biggest problem I had in my life I'm pretty lucky, wouldn't you agree"? They usually would be a little stunned and say.. "um, yes, you're right". I will do that this time too.. :seeya:

Oh, I always hated the "you have such a pretty face".. haha.. if that isn't a direct smack I don't know what is!!! I laugh at it now as I think.. "don't those people know what they sound like"? geesh!

I never internalized weight to that extent. I think I would be more likely to accept the "feel better about yourself" comment if my house and garage were always clean. Oh well.. just shows you how everyone looks at things differently!

[ocotillo 0]

Michelle, give it some time. Your skin may be elastic enough to shrink to the point you will feel better about yourself. I think you are pretty young and many things will change with a little time. Give your self some time and work on the toning....I think you will be happier than you believe. As far as what people say....just figure most of them are ignorant....unless they've been overweight and lost a lot of it, they will never know.

What I have noticed this time around is when I slowed down on the weight loss, (and I haven't even lost 50 lbs yet) that my body started to tighten up a little. Yes, it's still flabby but I'm huge and have been for decades and this flab is better than not fitting into the airline seat. I really notice it in my face, my face is already a lot thinner and there are many more wrinkles. Oh well, I will get that worked on some time down the line but for now....I will learn to deal with it and everyone else can not look at me if they don't like it.

[Padanelle 2]

Michelle,

You should be so happy with your success. 50 lbs in less than 4 months - that's fantastic! No wonder your skin hasn't had a chance to adjust to your new body. In the meantime, get some Spanx or other support undergarment. And be patient...

[~Michelle~ 0]

Thanks for all the encouragement. It helps sometimes just knowing that others can relate to what I'm going through. I'm just going to keep working out, and hope for the best.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Michelle make sure you take your Omega 3 Vitamins. that is what helps your skin with its elasticity.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

You know, I was told that I should not even consider plastic surgery until ONE YEAR AFTER MAKING GOAL WEIGHT because your skin does still do some catching up. So cut yourself some slack, girl! Just keep doing what you need to do and see how it works out.

And, as for me, I'd rather have some loose skin that diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and depression.....

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

You know, I was told that I should not even consider plastic surgery until ONE YEAR AFTER MAKING GOAL WEIGHT because your skin does still do some catching up. So cut yourself some slack, girl! Just keep doing what you need to do and see how it works out.

And, as for me, I'd rather have some loose skin that diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and depression.....

Excellent advice! Especially if you're very young... you may not even need to spend the money on plastics.

"I am calm, peaceful and in no hurry. I have an entire lifetime to live and develop" ~~ Positive Affirmations.

The good thing is, with our lapband we just prolonged our life and health! :smile2:

[Apples2 19]

Michelle....I agree with what others have said. I was also told at my initial LB session to wait a year or more after goal to consider any kind of cosmetic surgery. I was not at all happy looking in the mirror once I reached goal (Oct. 15, 2008). I will be 54 yrs old in a couple of months and I can honestly tell you that my skin did amazing things in the last year. My boobs looked like tube socks and are now sitting up nicely again. My tummy is in good shape. My thighs look a little like melted butter but a lot of my friends at the same age as myself look similar.

Be patient...see what comes a fair time after goal and then decide what you can or cannot live with. Wishing you the best on your LB journey!

[JennBand08 0]

Apples! I have tube sock boobs too.. you mean there is hope?? I am SO happy to hear this. LOL. I will be a little more patient.. I really don't want surgery, nor can I afford it so I am just working out and praying! Your post is inspiring! yayy. Thanks for sharing your experience.

And to the original poster, I know just how you feel. I am getting comments like that too. I don't let it bother me, I know people mean well they just word things wrong. And there are aspects of my old body that I do miss as well.. especially my ample bust! But I am hoping in time I will adjust(and find a good bra!)

Hang in there. Changes take time to adjust to.. but being healthy is so worth it!

[HeatherO 7]

Hello Michelle, I wouldn't stress too much about excess skin yet. You are still relatively early in the journey (I am assuming it was June of '09) and time and exercise absolutely does make a different . . . you just have to give it time. Staying well-hydrated and eating right also contribute to helping your body get back to where you want it to be.

I had this same question mid-way along in my weight loss. Now that I am at goal, I have almost no excess skin except for a poochy belly and a little bit of sag to my butt and thighs . . . but not much and it is undetectable in clothing. My breasts didn't change too much either . . . I went from a 40D to a 36DD. I don't have a bikini body but I look pretty good in a one piece.

You might just find that you are pretty pleased once you get closer to goal.

[als74 1]

This might sound silly, but I am getting tired of people saying "hey skinny!" I know they are trying to compliment me on my weight loss, but HELLO! I started at 295 and am 10 lbs away from ONEderland, but am still 210. That is NOT skinny unless you are like 10 ft tall. I am getting tired of compliments. I don't take them well...I know, that sounds so selfish. But that is how I feel.

[Apples2 19]

Apples! I have tube sock boobs too.. you mean there is hope?? I am SO happy to hear this. LOL. I will be a little more patient.. I really don't want surgery, nor can I afford it so I am just working out and praying! Your post is inspiring! yayy. Thanks for sharing your experience.

And to the original poster, I know just how you feel. I am getting comments like that too. I don't let it bother me, I know people mean well they just word things wrong. And there are aspects of my old body that I do miss as well.. especially my ample bust! But I am hoping in time I will adjust(and find a good bra!)

Hang in there. Changes take time to adjust to.. but being healthy is so worth it!

As I said, Jen, be patient and see what comes of everything after a year's time. I do some weight training and think that really did help with putting the girls back up to where they are supposed to be. I never go without a bra (except for sleeping) and believe that it contributes also.

[aubrie 6]

Parrothead above is correct. Even my surgeon told me to wait to have surgery for one year after reaching goal. Your skin can shrink back to some degree, albeit slowly. Mine seems to be doing okay. I'm aging a little faster than I would like, but at age 50 I can't expect miracles. Give your skin a little time. Toning with exercise will help too. My only "problem" area are my arms. I have horrible flaps. Other than that, I'm doing okay. I'm just under 2 years out. Had a few set backs and am not to goal yet, but I'm still working at it. Not giving up.