What do you tell your children?

[valgirl 0]

Hey everyone :biggrin: I am having surgery in a few weeks and I have been debating on what to tell my 4yo daughter for a while. I asked my doctor and my family and they said to be as honest as possible while not giving all the details. So tonight my husband and I sat down and talked with her about mommy going into the hospital, and how I would be there possibly overnight and when I came home I wouldn't be able to pick her up for a little bit and wouldn't be driving her anywhere until I felt better, etc. I thought I was doing the right thing but she started asking all these questions that I was clearly not prepared for lol. She's a very curious child. So we went into a little bit more detail and explained that the doctor would be helping mommy shrink her "big tummy" (those are the words she always uses) so that mommy could be healthier and do more, etc. I told her it would take a while but mommy would be eating less and we wouldn't be eating out as much, etc. Well anyways I thought it was going ok but then she got really upset and started crying, I felt terrible! I assured her I was going to be ok but she just kept saying she didn't want me to do it, etc. THEN she said she wanted to come with me and be there while I was "with the doctor" and wait with daddy.

So I guess my questions are... Are there any magic words I should say to ease her mind? Did I do the right thing? Have I completely scarred her for life? lol And the biggest one, should I let her come? I am having the surgery in a small, private hospital that is typically used for plastic surgery patients, only 20 beds in the whole place. If it were a bigger hospital I would be worried about all the germs and stuff but I don't think people are going to this place with infectious diseases if you know what I mean, so I'm not worried about that part. I just don't want her to get freaked out by seeing me in the hospital bed, but on the other hand it sure would be nice to see her when I wake up. She's what I live for and most of the reason I'm doing this you know? And now that I've let the cat out of the bag I'm afraid she'll worry about me at daycare all day if we don't let her come. UGH what have I done? lol But seriously what have other people done? Is it just a horrible idea to let her come hang out with my parents and my husband in the waiting area? Thanks in advance, just trying to do the best I can for her :mad:

xoxo

Val

Edited September 25, 2009 by valgirl

[soocalchic 1,087]

I havent been babded yet and I have had a couple of short discussions with my kiddos my daughter is 7 and my son is 9 going on 30. They are smart kids and know what the surgery entails. They both tell me that they are supportive of whatever my decision is since i seem to be a little undicisive. Not sure if im going to have surgery yet. Some days I'm like yeah im going to do it and others I'm not sure. I have had other procedures before and the kids have always gone to school on the day of. They are a little older and missing school is a no no. But your baby is only 4 take her with you make sure you pack a coloring book and her favorite toy and oh yeah a snack to keep her busy while everyone waits.