Up and Down...

[b9409 1]

Hi! I got banded on 9-4-09, and this has been a bit harder than I anticipated. Emotionally, I'm up and down, and I just feel like I can't get my emotions under control. I think initially, I was feeling really overwhelmed with this decision, but when I decided to go ahead with the surgery, I felt like I understood the commitment. Now that I'm banded, I realize how much harder the lifestyle changes are than what I anticipated.

I am following the plan (or at least I think I am). But, if I mess up and eat too big of a portion, I just feel so guilty and get upset at myself. Or other things like that. I understand that this is a huge learning process, and I'm not going to get everything right the first time, but I just feel like I'm being too hard on myself.

Also, another component of feeling overwhelmed emotionally is that since being banded, I've been at my parents house (I'm only 25) recovering. Today I had to come back to my own apartment which is in a different town. I live alone, work a really emotionally difficult job, and haven't made any friends. I think that I'm just feeling really alone...

Anyway, just was posting this to see if anyone else has felt like they are on an emotional rollercoaster after being banded, or if anyone else is alone and trying to do it with no one's help.

Thanks for your thoughts/support!!

[ruffcat 0]

I think it can be a roller coaster.. so many changes.. and your alone.. being a military wife, I understand the alone part...

We all make mistakes.. but the beauty about them is.. they are mistakes.. we know we did them, and its time to try to think and act differently. i wouldnt beat you up over making a mistake...

The roller coaster is absolutely insane.. but there are people who care about you, who wil help you thru this!!! Take a deep breath.. close your eyes and remember why you wanted this surgery, what you want to accomplish.. and move forward...

hugs! sounds like you need one

[b9409 1]

Thanks!

I'd never blogged on here before...I've gotten lots of help from just reading other people's posts. But, I figured that today was a good day to get some feedback!

One thing I haven't read much about on the blog is about being alone....and doing it all on your own. Living in a place where you don't know anyone, have friends or family, etc. And, how to cope with that.

Thanks for the "hug"!

[Natman 0]

Hey there.

You sound like you are going through a rough time. I can understand that and just wanted to remind you that you aren't alone. Coming here to say what you have said took real courage and I want to compliment you on that. You are stronger than you may realise if you can come to this forum and say that you are finding things tough. Too many of us pretend we are coping just to "not trouble others with our troubles".

I have other medical issues to deal with and was like that with them too. "Be tough - a good Aussie Bloke doesn't show pain or weakness". I'm here to say that it takes more strength to reach out to others saying that you need reassurance than to just sit back and do nothing.

If you feel it would help there are often support groups that you could go to physically. Maybe if you looked in your local directory or even google you might find that there are others in your local area with similar thoughts and feelings, and you could be support for each other.

Well done for speaking out and I wish you all the best. This forum seems very supportive and knowledgeable so use this resource as you need to as well.

[b9409 1]

I had to laugh when I read your reply! You would not know the amount of time I thought about posting a thread about being an emotional wreck. I finally got to the point where I decided, "Well, if people think I'm being a baby or they don't care, then I won't really lose anything, plus they wont' know who I am."

Thanks for the encouraging words. I would LOVE to go to a support group, and wish that I could go to one through the hospital I had my surgery at. But, I live several hours away, and can't make it to the meetings.

I was thinking about maybe going to Weight Watchers meetings just to meet with other people trying to change their lifestyles.

Thanks again for your kindness!

[hugs4you1971 0]

First I have to give you a cyber hug!! I was banded Aug 25th. 19 days post op. The first two weeks I was in the what did I do to myself stage. I kept reminding myself that i was in the pain etc stage and this will pass and I won't remember in time. I kinda laughed at myself a lot...thinking wow have I gone through an extreme measure this time to lose weight it better work!! I've tried so many ways to lose weight this time I've lost my mind...lol. Day 14 I can honestly say I was feeling much better...could walk at my normal pace again no more pain meds to sleep. All our Dr's have a different plan for us. For me, as soon as I reach 75% of my goal I can add everything back into my diet...that makes me happy to know this stage isn't forever!!!

I have to say it's been nice to have my husband to complain too,but this site has been wonderful. I don't comment to often but I have read a lot. So when you need support email one of us or use the chat feature that helped me too. If you need a friend I'm here we can do this together...hugs!!

[bashful1269 5]

I'm right there with you...there have been a lot of times when I have thought..."what the hell have I done to myself." The night of my first fill being one of them... I got stuck for the first time. I was at a friends house, and literally almost ran my friend over trying to get up from the table fast enough to make it to the bathroom. Came back to the table and sat down and just cried when she asked me if I was ok... I was not...I was SCARED and in PAIN...I was scared that I would never be able to eat normal again. I realize now, I can I just have to eat SLOW and CHEW, and CHEW and CHEW.

It's not easy and doing this alone I am sure is not an easy thing to do. Remember that you can always come to the boards and read and ask questions. I'd be happy to share my info with you if you want someone to talk to.

[LollyMoe 1]

b9404: You are not alone. There are two many people here that are willing & able to reach out to help you. Just let us know when you need someone. I'm much older than you but I'm experienced and willing to help.

I noticed you mentioned WW. Don't know if it's the same everywhere but generally they are really down on WLS. So keep mum about your surgery!

Let us know if you need to talk.

[Portola Suzanne 3]

We are here for you, I use this site as my main support and luv all the insight and support everyone gives. This is a difficult process (and it is a process) some days are better than others. You made a wonderful decision to get healthy so enjoy your journey!

[SoAnnaBanana 1]

I am also with you on the emotional rollar coaster! I was banded on 9-2-09 and have gone through many different types of feelings. Some days I feel great about my choice, some days I cry and feel left out, some days I just don't care. It is rough... especially when we depend on food to get us through the tough time and now that isn't the option. I would suggest therapy of some sort. I saw a therapist previously to deal with my food issues and will be going back again this week. It isn't because you are crazy, but just to give you someone to talk to and reconfirm that you are doing the right thing, making possitive changes and that bumps in the road are normal. I know I am really struggling right now because I am not losing any weight but am eating so much less. I "know" this is normal but it is still frustrating and makes me feel sad. This is a big change and we all need to find a way to cope. I am still working on that. Good luck to you!

[tnewton8351 0]

Hey there! I know what you mean about doing it alone. My husband is in the AF deployed to Afghanistan until next July. My daughter and I live here off base and have no family anywhere near us. I made a few aquaintances through church but really have no friends. It's hard but I am taking it one day at a time.

I was banded on 08/26/09 and feel so much better now than I did in the first week and a half. I was really regretting my decision to have the band at first. I was freaking out thinking what in the world have I done!

You hang in there okay? Take it one day at a time. I love to read these boards because I know there are others who feel and have felt the same way as I have. They got through it so I figure I can too...and so can you. Right?

Maybe we can support each other. Encourage one another. We're all in this together so you're not alone...and neither am I.

Take care and keep your chin up. We can do this.

T

[ruffcat 0]

TNewton.. I am an army wife, and completely understand what your going thru.. We are getting ready to move to Ft Carson Co, next week!! Ugh.. New lapband.. New adventure.. New life.. many new things for sure!

[pvgrl 0]

B9, I totally get it. I was banded 8/31-I was prepared for the surgery and gas pain, but didn't have any. What I was NOT prepared for, was what I refer to as the "mind freak"-OMG-I cried when people came to visit, then I'd cry when they left. I to, have been struggling with feeling lonely also-but what doesn't make sense is that I have great supports all around me, I'm single and live alone-go figuer? I wonder if it kinda like grief-maybe we were used to soothing ourseles with food, and now that we have the band, we really can't do that anymore-like we lost our"friend". I don't know, I just throwing it out there and wanted to reassure you that others are feeling as you are. Good luck-keep posting...

[b9409 1]

B9, I totally get it. I was banded 8/31-I was prepared for the surgery and gas pain, but didn't have any. What I was NOT prepared for, was what I refer to as the "mind freak"-OMG-I cried when people came to visit, then I'd cry when they left. I to, have been struggling with feeling lonely also-but what doesn't make sense is that I have great supports all around me, I'm single and live alone-go figuer? I wonder if it kinda like grief-maybe we were used to soothing ourseles with food, and now that we have the band, we really can't do that anymore-like we lost our"friend". I don't know, I just throwing it out there and wanted to reassure you that others are feeling as you are. Good luck-keep posting...

Wow, I totally relate to what you said!!! Especially the being single but having a ton of support. I am "single" (even tho I have a "boyfriend" of 3 yrs-who lives almost 2 hours away). My family has been so supportive, my friends have been great, and the boyfriend has just been so wonderful. But, for some reason, I still feel totally alone and isolated, especially now that I'm back at my own house.

I have always been someone who would rather be hanging out with other people than alone, but....before the surgery, I was able to deal with evenings after work alone, coming back to my house after seeing friends and family out of town. But, now that I'm banded, the lonliness has felt overwhelming.

I think you had a good idea about losing my "friend"-food. I had never really thought of myself as an emotional eater (but, who isn't?), but I feel a tremendous sense of loss over food, sweets, and diet pop. But, I need to spend some time thinking about how much this is connected to my emotions about being alone.

Isn't it weird that I can have the best friends and family and support, but still feel like I'm lacking something? And, why didn't I feel this way before the band?

Anyway, thank you so much everyone for all your encouragement! I had NO IDEA how much just reading responses from you guys would help!!!

[Angelsma 1]

Hello, it does sound like you have a lot going on. Personally, I believe the emotionally adjustments can be as difficult as the physical simply because we can no USE food like we did (speakng for myself but if you have the band may be the same for you as well). To combat feeling overwhelmed (vs stuffing my emotions with food) I am praying, journaling, walking, writing letters to old friends and reading self-help books and checking in here on a regular basis. You will find a wealth of knowledge and friendships with others who understand what you're experiencing. All the best to you. It will get better just don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself time to heal emotionally, spirtually and physically (usually the last thing to heal).