Tired of People Saying: "You Really Don't Look Lika You Need That!!"

[lessofm3 0]

I'm sorry you have had to deal with that. I didn't tell anyone but my husband who I discuss everything with, and my boss since I needed the time off from work. After my surgery I eventuallly told my oldest son who is 18 and two of my 3 step daughters.

[jollygreen1955 0]

Two years ago when I was banded I told everyone..I was soooooooo happy and still am

BUt people are so noisy and tell me, why did you have it blah blah blah

I should of said ...hernia operation...even though not true but they have a restrictive diet and they have surgery and HATE talking to everyone

My Bitch Sister in law calls me all the time to tell me about her friend who had the gastric bypass and how she looks great and they loose faster blah blah

I have a friend who decided not to tell anyone...and people thought he had cancer.... blah blah

Bottom line... I am an outgoing person so people feel I will not be hurt by comments :0) tell everyone hernia ..you will thank me in 2 yrs

[kechianyree 0]

You should excuse people they don't say what they meananymore or mean what they say they just talk to respond not only that you are the only one who has to live with your decision- Just an FYI I know we're going to the same doc so I should have a date soon I'll keep u posted

[RetroChic86 0]

i totally understand how you feel, i get the same thing. i am 5'9" 339 pounds, and a size 20. ive told some friends and they all say "why? you don't look that big" or "why cant you just eat right and exercise"

its like HELLO! if it was that freaking simple for me, i would have been lost the weight! don't you think i have tried that already?!?!

[sherrita3 0]

Hello to you!

I feel the same as well. I am 220 pounds, and I hold my weight well. I hear that I don't need the surgery all the time. I feel like if they are happy with themselves, woooopppeeee! But for me, I am going to go through with this process to become a better and healthier me. People are going to always have something to say. I don't sweat it because their toon will soon change once they see the new you!:tongue2:

Good Luck to you!

I have one more appt to go and sexyness........here I come!!!:wub:

[Sofia Bell 0]

Funny, but wait until you actually have the surgery! Those you told will turn into pros all of a sudden monitoring everything you eat or don't eat and watching your weight loss for you!

A friend of mine had surgery 1 month prior to me and she told everyone. I told very few people. So sad how we are treated so differently. I literally watch people watch my friend eat and they judge her for "cheating" or not following the band life.

I tell people that i've been really stressed and just don't eat anymore. They leave me alone!

Good luck to you!

[LSU Mom 0]

If I had it to do all over again I would not have told a soul other than my husband. My coworkers have me under a microscope watching everything I eat or drink and offer unwnted comments all the time. I would suggest you tell everyone you are having second thoughts or that you decided to save some more money and just do it and tell no one. As you start to lose you can say you joined a gym or started WW, etc. Believe me, you will be much happier doing it in secret. Good luck and ignore the nay-sayers! Focus on yourself, your son and partner and screw everyone else!

Oh, and GEAUX TIGERS!!

Mom :tongue2:

[GDawgRN97 0]

Wow, that's almost word for word what I was hearing. But what was so crazy to me is that most of the negativity came from my closest friends & "eating buddies". I had it done & am 2 weeks out now and lost 10 lbs. That's exceptionally well for me & I couldn't be happier. You do what's right for yourself. Ignore the naysayers. You'll soon be hearing how great you look.

[Mickey527 0]

I am almost 5'5" and weighed 205 when I was approved by my insurance. I have been doing the liquid diet for about 4 weeks with a few meals here and there and I am now down to 188. I had breast cancer, have sleep apnea, high blood pressure, COPD, neuropathy from the chemo, lymphedema from the cancer surgery, and fibromyalgia.

My insurance wouldnt' have approved this surgery if they didn't think it would help me.

I have lost and gained about 50 lbs 3 times since 1998, once when I couldn't eat for 4 weeks after uvulectomy surgery to stop sleep apnea. (didn't work), Once when I stopped eating everything but chicken and walked 5 miles a day rain or shine, and once when I had cancer and had to go through chemo. I always gain it back because I eat more than I should, all you can eat buffets are my best friend.

My son told me the other day that he doesn't support me and will not listen to me if I have any problems or complaints. He said he can't see why I would have this surgery knowing I might not be able to eat the things I love ever again (bread, pizza, pasta) I told him I will be able to but also must eat better and avoid as many carbs as I can. My nutritionist said bread is out but others on this board have done ok with it so I am hoping for the best.

I am single and my son who is 32 and my grandson live with me. I also have a 30 year old who lives with me. He is a chef, and loves to cook rich cream and fatty foods. I have other family but they have their families and thought they know about the impending surgery they really are not going to be there for me. My sister has had GBP but she lives in FL so she is out. Most of my good friends are out of state too.

So I am not sure how things will work with my son, I almost feel that if I have problems he won't be there for me. So I am really doing this myself and will hope for the best.

I also hear from friends here about how I dont' need surgery, just walk more, exercise, etc... but with the neuropathy and fibromyalgia it is almost impossible to exercise more than 5 minutes and I am then exhausted for the rest of the day. My response has and always will be my insurance wouldn't pay if I didn't need this.

[RetroChic86 0]

I am almost 5'5" and weighed 205 when I was approved by my insurance. I have been doing the liquid diet for about 4 weeks with a few meals here and there and I am now down to 188. I had breast cancer, have sleep apnea, high blood pressure, COPD, neuropathy from the chemo, lymphedema from the cancer surgery, and fibromyalgia.

My insurance wouldnt' have approved this surgery if they didn't think it would help me.

I have lost and gained about 50 lbs 3 times since 1998, once when I couldn't eat for 4 weeks after uvulectomy surgery to stop sleep apnea. (didn't work), Once when I stopped eating everything but chicken and walked 5 miles a day rain or shine, and once when I had cancer and had to go through chemo. I always gain it back because I eat more than I should, all you can eat buffets are my best friend.

My son told me the other day that he doesn't support me and will not listen to me if I have any problems or complaints. He said he can't see why I would have this surgery knowing I might not be able to eat the things I love ever again (bread, pizza, pasta) I told him I will be able to but also must eat better and avoid as many carbs as I can. My nutritionist said bread is out but others on this board have done ok with it so I am hoping for the best.

I am single and my son who is 32 and my grandson live with me. I also have a 30 year old who lives with me. He is a chef, and loves to cook rich cream and fatty foods. I have other family but they have their families and thought they know about the impending surgery they really are not going to be there for me. My sister has had GBP but she lives in FL so she is out. Most of my good friends are out of state too.

So I am not sure how things will work with my son, I almost feel that if I have problems he won't be there for me. So I am really doing this myself and will hope for the best.

I also hear from friends here about how I dont' need surgery, just walk more, exercise, etc... but with the neuropathy and fibromyalgia it is almost impossible to exercise more than 5 minutes and I am then exhausted for the rest of the day. My response has and always will be my insurance wouldn't pay if I didn't need this.

ouch, i am so sorry. i too have fibromyalgia, and i am hoping the weight loss helps. but as far as your son goes, i know he is your son, he is family, but at the same time, you two are grown-you are doing this for YOU-so if he cant support you or accept your options, then that is all him.

[Portola Suzanne 3]

I was at a 36 BMI when insurance approved this operation. I agree I need it, they agree I need it so that's that! I told very few people because of their response. What is so funny is I was talking to a woman at work who had lap band (doesn't know I had it) she looked right at me and told me I was not big enough to get lap band. I thought to my self then whats this thing rapped around my stomach! Never said a word to her let her think what she wants. Do what you know is right for you and good luck in your journey!

[jollygreen1955 0]

i totally understand how you feel, i get the same thing. i am 5'9" 339 pounds, and a size 20. ive told some friends and they all say "why? you don't look that big" or "why cant you just eat right and exercise"

its like HELLO! if it was that freaking simple for me, i would have been lost the weight! don't you think i have tried that already?!?!

Retro-

I have heard those comments so long. God bless you for doing it at your age. In the old days there was Weight Watchers and all the other crap. Well, I never lost...even took off from work and stayed every day at the gym.

They have never found out why I could not lose the weight and I was even studying in Columbia (NY) so go for it. At my age I am so grateful for every pound that is off me. The truth is that the excess weight has probably shortened my life.

Go for it :tongue2:

By the way Ilove my self fluffy but want to be healthy

I was the skinny tall kid that was sent to the doctor to gain

but they never gave me anything

after 21 just kept gaining

Laura from ny

Edited September 13, 2009 by jollygreen1955

[Leetie 0]

I am 226 and 5'3" with BMI at just 40. My insurance will cover the surgery if your BMI is at least 40 or 35 and 2 co morbid conditions like high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I have only told close family and a few friends and they have all been pretty supportive but a couple have asked if I really need to go this route. I'm 56 years old and I've been on diets and lost and regained so many times. What do they say? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? That's where I am now so I'm doing something different this time. I know I can lose weight, I just can't keep it off for long. This is a tool to help me do that. In a few months, they'll be saying how smart you were to do this!

[ncarreras 0]

Thanks everyone for your comments! It is very encouraging. I just scheduled my last appointment before surgery. I need to see the nutritionist and will get my surgery date on Thursday. At this point, I am not telling anyone else. Good luck to all and keep us posted on your progress!!! Please!

[HappyHomeCC 2]

people always look at me and when I say how much I weigh etc they are "shocked" I am same ht wt bmi as you almost. yet when I see photos or video of myself I am sick..... I am very happy at 130 so I want to be there. I feel good , look good and can wear the clothes i want. better body image. I am trying to advoid any further health issues, now I am hypo thyroid, and have joint problems.