Tired of People Saying: "You Really Don't Look Lika You Need That!!"

[Band_Groupie 3]

Congrats on your dates!

There's a Low BMI group here on LBT (under 'groups'). We need to support each other as we lightweights certainly have a whole seperate set of issues in this journey (I was just at a 35 BMI when I started looking at this and was 37.7 at the official start...and yes, at almost 5'9" I 'carry it well').

I was lucky to read enough here early on to convince me to tell no one but DH. I need this to be as positive experience as possible and even the comments from all the preop docs and nurses 'You don't look like you need THAT!' were enough to reinforce that decision.

I also had the added burden of having everyone see me lose the weight before (yes, I was starving). I spent 20 years drastically yo-yoing every second of that up or down and it took a toll on my health and my self-esteem. I, like others here, didn't get the LB to lose the weight...I got it to KEEP it off. Best decision I've ever made.

The upside of this is that no one questions my WL now...they've all seen me do it before. The even better part...I've lost 30-40 pounds more times than I can count. I've lost 40-50 pounds at least 4 times before. Today...I reached 60 pounds. The band is the best tool in the world as long as you do your part.

Let others say what they want...when you start to get the results you want it all won't matter! You've finally decided to do this for YOU.

[jordie22nc 0]

yes the same thing happened to me. i'm 5 1 and was weighing 222. i was banded on 8-17-09 down to 208, i was just filled on 9-17-09 i dont even feel like it. i was worried because i was getting hungry, but the nurse told me that i was not eating enough food. this hold lap band thing is strange. i started my workout at the gym again on yesterday that went o.k. i just want to get to the point were i can only eat about two bits, and that it.

this is the other thing with the people that do know they just want to watch u fail. i have several people that ask me stupid things like how much are you going to lose,"how in the hell do i know" how much. oh, how much have you lost its only been 4 weeks, how much am i supposed to lose.

Edited September 19, 2009 by jordie22nc
wanted to add more

[imwiththebandnyc 0]

just an added thought:

I'll be having the surgery with dr. ren in a week, and she advised not telling, she said there is alot of sabotage out there and not to invite it.

Also: we are such a 'fat' society, that overweight looking people look more 'normal' than they are

I am not saying anything to anyone but my family (husband, parents, sister)-- and they all had reservations too: if you couldn't diet before, how is this different?

But we've talked that it is a tool to help, not a magic bullet...so they are basically not on my case about it.

[Hazeleyes 0]

I can totally relate to you I also started at 5'2 225 and many people told me the same thing " I would have never guessed you were that heavy you don't look it" but as we all know being morbidly obese isn't healthy and many complications can occur. So now that I am 1 1/2 into my surgery it was the best decision I made for myself it was never about those who couldn't see it because I knew how I was feeling and looked like not to mention the diabetes and high blood pressure. So I am proud of you to know what is best for you and ignore those who don't. You will love your band.

[Danyett 0]

just an added thought:

I'll be having the surgery with dr. ren in a week, and she advised not telling, she said there is alot of sabotage out there and not to invite it.

Also: we are such a 'fat' society, that overweight looking people look more 'normal' than they are

I am not saying anything to anyone but my family (husband, parents, sister)-- and they all had reservations too: if you couldn't diet before, how is this different?

But we've talked that it is a tool to help, not a magic bullet...so they are basically not on my case about it.

I understand where she is comming from, I know some people will hope i fail. I have told people and have recieved "advice" lol but i am not afraid to tell some of them to back off. I am just an open person. I am a Baker by trade so I am not worried about outside sabotage, I make yummy stuff for 8 hours every day that will be hard enough.

[hmarko 0]

I have told a lot of people and got varied responses.

From my brother - you are not that big you don't need that ( i am muscular so don't look my weight but I'm still big). He was mainly afraid he has a friend who did this and was in a coma for two months!

Coworker are all supportive as are friend.. BUT I have heard this comment that drove me crazy...

'well that is how normal people eat'... and this was while i was on liquids!!! there is NOTHING normal about that! Those are the judgemental types that assume I eat out of control (I don't i have endocrine issues).

THen I had a few friends that were so scared for me that they turned white and their nervousness showed - I think they were thinking it was too drastic not sure or were just nervous at the thought of any surgery.

[hmarko 0]

just an added thought:

I'll be having the surgery with dr. ren in a week, and she advised not telling, she said there is alot of sabotage out there and not to invite it.

Also: we are such a 'fat' society, that overweight looking people look more 'normal' than they are

I am not saying anything to anyone but my family (husband, parents, sister)-- and they all had reservations too: if you couldn't diet before, how is this different?

But we've talked that it is a tool to help, not a magic bullet...so they are basically not on my case about it.

I just had surgery w/ Dr Ren - she is great. Right now that whole practice are my hero's especially her :biggrin: My surgery was 9/11 - Oh if they ask you to do the trial drug for anesthesia to prevent nausea DO IT! I had NO nausea at all whatsoever! I think it made a big difference. They will ask you the day of the surgery. There is a whole team assigned to you its very cool. Dr Ren did the single incision on me - i have no scars really the biggest one is in my belly button. Dr Fielding has a video of it on you tube its cool. Lets stay in touch. Pls feel to PM me if you have any questions - and good luck!

[hmarko 0]

just an added thought:

I'll be having the surgery with dr. ren in a week, and she advised not telling, she said there is alot of sabotage out there and not to invite it.

Also: we are such a 'fat' society, that overweight looking people look more 'normal' than they are

I am not saying anything to anyone but my family (husband, parents, sister)-- and they all had reservations too: if you couldn't diet before, how is this different?

But we've talked that it is a tool to help, not a magic bullet...so they are basically not on my case about it.

I just had surgery w/ Dr Ren - she is great. Right now that whole practice are my hero's especially her :biggrin: My surgery was 9/11 - Oh if they ask you to do the trial drug for anesthesia to prevent nausea DO IT! I had NO nausea at all whatsoever! I think it made a big difference. They will ask you the day of the surgery. There is a whole team assigned to you its very cool. Dr Ren did the single incision on me - i have no scars really the biggest one is in my belly button. Dr Fielding has a video of it on you tube its cool. Lets stay in touch. Pls feel to PM me if you have any questions - and good luck!

[imwiththebandnyc 0]

I can totally relate to you I also started at 5'2 225 and many people told me the same thing " I would have never guessed you were that heavy you don't look it" but as we all know being morbidly obese isn't healthy and many complications can occur. So now that I am 1 1/2 into my surgery it was the best decision I made for myself it was never about those who couldn't see it because I knew how I was feeling and looked like not to mention the diabetes and high blood pressure. So I am proud of you to know what is best for you and ignore those who don't. You will love your band.

Hazel: yes, let's stay in touch, I am very anxious to hear how you are doing and how your recovery is going. Hope you are feeling well!

The NYU support groups are not my thing b/c they start at 6pm and I commute... and there are some other reasons as well... but I'd love to develop a little support group of our own of NYU bandsters who have the surgery close together.

I mean that it would be great to meet in person every few weeks-- as a possibilty.

(I don't mean to be aggressive about a 'real life' meeting--but if possible, would be great!!)

I'll be here regularly... now on the liquid diet and leading up to my big day!!!

[hmarko 0]

Hazel: yes, let's stay in touch, I am very anxious to hear how you are doing and how your recovery is going. Hope you are feeling well!

The NYU support groups are not my thing b/c they start at 6pm and I commute... and there are some other reasons as well... but I'd love to develop a little support group of our own of NYU bandsters who have the surgery close together.

I mean that it would be great to meet in person every few weeks-- as a possibilty.

(I don't mean to be aggressive about a 'real life' meeting--but if possible, would be great!!)

I'll be here regularly... now on the liquid diet and leading up to my big day!!!

Hi I am Helen. I was going to try the NYU support group. In October I guess. Where do you work? I am midtown on 6th ave. Have you tried the NYU support group at all?

I am feeling well - I lost a lot on the liquid diet but now I think I actually put a couple of pounds back on. I expected that. If anything the weight loss on the liquids keeps you so motivated.

Edited September 21, 2009 by hmarko

[BrentinLA 0]

I know what you mean. Everyone I told has responded with the often heard, "You don't seem like you need it, you aren't THAT big." Regardless, who cares what anyone thinks. Ultimately it's for me. I'm tired of struggling with diets, and battling weight. I'm even more tired of having hypertension, apnea, knee pain, and more. That's why I'm absolutely psyched I had my operation a week ago!

[Sooverit! 1]

Good for you BAND GROUPIE!~ I was the same weight as you and 5 8 1/2 and 50! Isn't it great going into this decade without the dread of getting bigger ...It's not easy being tall and BIG..there is not hiding! The advantage to being a "lightweight" bandster (HA) was that NO one only a few notice my 45 lbs weight loss! I do and I'm at that point in my life where my opinion of myself matters most anyway... how freeing.

[ncarreras 0]

Congrats on your dates!

There's a Low BMI group here on LBT (under 'groups'). We need to support each other as we lightweights certainly have a whole seperate set of issues in this journey (I was just at a 35 BMI when I started looking at this and was 37.7 at the official start...and yes, at almost 5'9" I 'carry it well').

I was lucky to read enough here early on to convince me to tell no one but DH. I need this to be as positive experience as possible and even the comments from all the preop docs and nurses 'You don't look like you need THAT!' were enough to reinforce that decision.

I also had the added burden of having everyone see me lose the weight before (yes, I was starving). I spent 20 years drastically yo-yoing every second of that up or down and it took a toll on my health and my self-esteem. I, like others here, didn't get the LB to lose the weight...I got it to KEEP it off. Best decision I've ever made.

The upside of this is that no one questions my WL now...they've all seen me do it before. The even better part...I've lost 30-40 pounds more times than I can count. I've lost 40-50 pounds at least 4 times before. Today...I reached 60 pounds. The band is the best tool in the world as long as you do your part.

Let others say what they want...when you start to get the results you want it all won't matter! You've finally decided to do this for YOU.

Thank you band! Congratulations on the 60 pounds!!!!! That is great. I can't wait to be able to say that... Thanks for letting us know about the low BMI group. I will look into it. Good luck to all!

[AngieW_RN 0]

I'm going through the same thing! A lot of people keep telling me that I'm not big enough for the surgery or that I should just try diet and exercise first--as if I haven't tried that!!!

[new_journey4me 1]

This is a great topic...after I had my consultant with my surgeon I ran right over to my parents house all excited, with all the booklets and info my surgeon gave me, hoping that my parents would support me. Wow, was I wrong, I left there in tears and so upset.

They were giving me such a lecture that I don't need this and that I just let myself go and I can do it on my own and it's all in my head! I love that..."it's all in my head!" If I hear that statement one more time I'm gonna scream! My boyfriends father said the samething to me also, "if you want it bad enough to lose weight, you can do it on your own." Listen, I've been over weight ALL my life...even as a tri-sport athlete in high school and I've tried every damn diet out there, I'd lose 40lbs only to put it back on and then some.

It's also funny that it was my parents who have been all over me all my life about losing weight...including sending me to a nutritionist, aren't supporting me. Actually I can probably blame them for most of the way I felt about myself all my life and my low self esteem. Now that I'm doing something about it and getting help, I thought that they would have been thrilled...WRONG!

It's been a little bit of time and they are starting to come around. Finally. I'm also 29 yrs old and I don't need permission, I'm the only one who knows how I feel. And I can't stand the way I feel anymore.

I have to thank my boyfriend, he's been so supportive. Which means the world to me. I have other family members who are excited for me, along with my best friends. That's what counts the most. I find those who who are negative are jealous....because we are going to be looking GREAT and feeling GREAT!! I can't wait to walk around with my head held high with a BIG smile all over my face! They will be eating their words soon enough! :seeya:)

Good luck to all of you...and stay stronge on the choice that you have made for yourself. The only person who you have to make happy is yourself! :blushing:)