Where does the motivation go?

[jlray 0]

I've been banded for 5 months now. I like to think I have band experience, but some days I still feel like I have no idea what this thing is doing in my body. I understand how easy it is to fail ourselves with the band, because it is still a lot of hard work. I haven't worked out in weeks, and I don't want to work out. I feel so lazy... maybe I'm depressed? I eat whatever is readily available and will go down easy. On Thursday, I had a really bad stuck episode that kept me heaving in the back parking lot at work well beyond my lunch break. It was meet the teacher day for my boys, so I was in a big hurry to get them fed during my lunch hour. In my haste, I scarfed down my burrito way faster than I should have. Even after I came back to work, I kept going to the bathroom every five minutes (at least) to hurl up slime. Sorry for the image, but I think most of us have been there.

Anyway, when I was going through all that pain and fear, I realized that I do NOT want to lose my band. I remember praying, "please Lord, don't let me slip. Please just pass... just pass..." I haven't been using my band or taking care of it like I should have. Like I said, I haven't been exercising. Where the heck did the motivation go?? I was super-stoaked to get this and I did really well at first. What the heck happened?

I went on liquids for 24-hours after that stuck episode, and when I started eating again I was scared like I had been when I was starting solids post-op. And although I'm not saying I wanna live in fear of my band, I think a certain level of "respect" for the band is in order.

Maybe I'm scared to go any further. But I think I'm more scared that I have failed, and I can't go any further.

Sorry, this has just been a rant/vent.

:thumbup:

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I believe that not using your band the way it is meant to be used is failure. Come on, you put your body through surgery because you want to be healthier. Now is the time to get to work.

I too suffer from depression and some days I get a little down about the slow progress I am making but Coloradobanding put it into perspective for me. As long as I am doing my part and the scale is still in the downward cycle, the goal should be to live a healthier lifestyle and the weight will come off.

You have to start moving. Believe me, exercise will certainly help you with your depression. When I come out of the gym I feel like I am on a natural high. Those endorphins kick in and I feel great and you will too. That high will last me almost all day.

I don't necessarily enjoy sweating but I do enjoy the results and the improvement in my attitude and physic. Try to find something you can manage. Buy a bicycle and ride it around your neighborhood, do a work-out video, join a gym, get a stationary bike, anything that gets you moving.

I don't mean to preach, I'm just trying to motivate you. We all need a kick in the ass sometimes to get going. Consider this your kick in the ass.

Donna

p.s. When I get stuck, I welcome the vomiting because it is a relief to get the food out. The occasional vomit is not going to slip your band if it is installed properly.

[DanBar 0]

I understand everything you are saying... All I can offer you is a hang in there. Visualize what you can look like by next summer and keep trying. Do something nice for yourself and maybe that will help you feel a little up and not so down. :thumbup:

[Unforgettable 0]

I'd recommend trying a therapist out. I've realized that this battle is so much more in my head than it ever was in my stomach. Talking to someone has helped me sort out my feelings of depression, failure, food triggers, etc. May work for you too.

Even though exercising sucks, do it! It will make such a difference, will make you feel better afterwards, and I know for me mentally it makes me feel accomplished. Make sure you're picking the right food choices. It's normal to feel scared but don't let that stop you!! You can totally do this, just get back on track and get things going.

Good luck

[Meechbethy 0]

I am so there with you! I lost 80 pounds fairly "easily" but for almost a year I have lost nothing. I, too, am lazy and don't want to exercise! I am so tired from work, have major insomnia that nothing seems to help, and just feel like I can’t find the energy to even start. I am terrified that I am going to gain the weight I lost back and I really couldn’t handle that. Only 4 days ago a close friend who was only 2 years older than me died from complications of gastric bypass surgery. She was 47 and now she is gone. My emotions about what is going on with me are now clouded even further by feelings of guilt that I should feel happy and grateful about where I am and that I am healthy and have no complications. But I still cannot shake being unhappy that I am stuck and can’t seem to be able work my way out of this.

[DanBar 0]

I agree with Unforgettable...this problem is so much more in our heads. There is a reason we are like this. No one wants to walk around overweight. I really feel seeing a therapist should also be part of this process for at least a full year after surgery. Pre-op does not go enough into this part of the problem One hour psych evaluation and a written multiple choice test is not enough.

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

Obesity is an ongoing viscous cycle. Exercise has totally put my body levels back in order. I sleep so much better with exercise as part of my daily life. Yes, it's tough to get started but you have to do it. Being healthy isn't just about the foods we put into our bodies, it's all about mind, body and spirit=BALANCE!

Even though I am still 100 pounds overweight, I am in the best physical shape of my adult life and owe it all to exercise and eating healthy.

Stop making excuses and just do it! If I can do it anybody can. If you have pain from bad knees, hips etc., you will ache either way. Push past the pain. At least you will be healthier, at best the pain will improve once the weight comes off.

Stop being lazy people and stop making up excuses for your laziness. I assure you, most thin people don't like sweating and working out anymore then us fat people.

[krtork 0]

I am so there with you! I lost 80 pounds fairly "easily" but for almost a year I have lost nothing. I, too, am lazy and don't want to exercise! I am so tired from work, have major insomnia that nothing seems to help, and just feel like I can’t find the energy to even start. I am terrified that I am going to gain the weight I lost back and I really couldn’t handle that. Only 4 days ago a close friend who was only 2 years older than me died from complications of gastric bypass surgery. She was 47 and now she is gone. My emotions about what is going on with me are now clouded even further by feelings of guilt that I should feel happy and grateful about where I am and that I am healthy and have no complications. But I still cannot shake being unhappy that I am stuck and can’t seem to be able work my way out of this.

So sorry that you lost your friend. Try not to feel guilty, you are fortunate to have this time to refocus on your band. Look at it as a new day and a chance to make good choices and do something positive for yourself.

It is hard to lose somebody that is close to you and it will take time for that hurt to heal. You might want to see your psychologist and work on some of the issues that you are having right now and with food. It could be very helpful for you.

I know that I was not an exerciser, but I took the leap and made it part of my schedule and made it a habit. I sleep better, I feel better and I look better! You need to find something that you enjoy doing and start moving!! You will be glad that you did.

I was in a plateau for the past 4-5 months and my weight just started moving again, it can be very frustrating. It sounds like you lost, but have not started gaining - so that is a plus! Build on that success and do something good for yourself!!

[Meechbethy 0]

krtork,

Thank you so much for your kind words for both my friend and me! I have packed a bag with "workout" clothes for tomorrow and will finally join my friends in the small gym we have at work. I hate to get sweaty in the middle of the day, at least that has been my excuse for my co-workers all 5 years I have worked with them! LOL! However, there is no time like the present, so I might as well jump!

I also agree that finding someone to "talk" to is in order as we have no support groups within 100 miles of where I live and I am not doing the greatest job dealing with everything going on at the moment. It is just that with my friend, what was supposed to be that turning point in her life, that "thing" that was going to make her life better ended up taking her life! I feel like I am betraying her by not fully appreciating and utilizing the gift the band has been for me. Ugh, it just makes me so angry that she fought for two years for the "right" to have her surgery and it was a downward spiral from the beginning for her.

Sorry I got off-track there; I just wanted to thank you again for your kind words of encouragement!

Beth

[Catherine55 43]

Hi, JLray -- I read through the responses and wanted to suggest a different approach to you. Based on what you said, both food and exercise are problems for you right now. Rather than try to be perfect on all fronts at the same time, why not focus on diet for the moment?

My recommendation for you is this: Give yourself a break on the exercise front for the next month. If you work out, great -- if you don't, you'll get to that next month. (Honestly, I was terrible about exercising for the first several months -- then, suddenly, I was really motivated and have come to really enjoy my workouts.)

Make the next month about figuring out how to work your band, diet-wise. Take 20 minutes today to plan out what you are going to eat for the next week. Be sure to plan for things that you like to eat. Then, later today, force yourself to go to the grocery store and buy the food you will need to do this. See how those meals work out for you, and over next weekend, plan out the following week's meals.

Breakfast Suggestions:

Do you like yogurt? If so, buy enough so that you can have one every day for Breakfast. Or, if you have time to make an egg, that's great, too. Sometimes I have a SlimFast shake for breakfast -- they are yummy and surprisingly filling (I only like Cappuccino and vanilla right now).

lunch:

Do you have time to make some Soup and freeze it? If not, how about buying some different Soups (preferably with a decent amount of Protein and not cream-based) to get you through the week? I don't have that many great ideas for lunch -- I generally do Soup or get a sandwich and eat the filling, or sometimes I'll order sushi. What do you usually eat, and will those things fit in with the program for the week?

dinner:

Do you like fish? How about poaching some salmon or frying up some catfish or some scallops? What are the things that you and your family like to eat? Could you do a shrimp boil with corn on the cob, or have a taco night where you eat just the ingredients (not the tortilla)?

These are just suggestions, but my point is that the best way to overcome a big goal is often with baby steps. Once you get a handle on the food part and it becomes easy for you, then start working more seriously on the exercise part.

I hope this is helpful! Best wishes for your success.

Catherine

[untfluter 3]

Meechbethy, since there are no support group meetings w/in 100miles of where you live, check out bariatriceating.com this is actually the website for a store here in the Ft. Lauderdale area but they do an online support group meeting weekly, that might be an good option for you.