What now?!?!

[mstaylor 0]

Hello!

If this is in the wrong section then I apologise.

Where to begin umm I have been a member here for about 2 years I think but I do not post very often but I do read LOTS and I have taken some really great advice from these pages but I have hit crisis point in my life now and I am at a cross road and I really am unsure of what to do next.

I have had my band for just over 5 years and I KNEW what I was getting into. I knew that it was only a tool to help me lose the weight and it was not going to be some wonder product that would allow the weight to slip off me over night. I was aware of the life changes, the hard work and the dedication involved and I was fully committed 100%, well that was 5 years ago!

I lost over 100 pounds in a very short space of time and I felt wonderful, I had bags of energy and everything that came along with the weight loss and everything was going great. I had found my 'sweet spot' with my fill and I was getting on great until my 'fill' guy called and arranged for me to have a very small amount put in because my weight loss had slowed down to a near stop and of course me being me I trusted his medical knowledge and went along with what he suggested - How stupid can one get???

That tiny adjustment was 3 years ago and since then my life has been hell - if you can actually call it a life that is!!!! I am unable to eat anything apart from Breakfast Cereal, Cookies and chocolate - I can't drink a great deal and NOTHING at all for about 4 hours before bed because if I do then I wake up during the night with it choking me or coming through my nose. My teeth are awful, I have crowns and fillings everywhere now where before my teeth were in perfect health, my hair is awful and falling out, I have no energy oh and of course I have put weight back on - nearly all that I had lost!!!

I have been throwing the idea about having my band removed around in my head for about 2 years and I have always told myself no, it will all be OK just give it time but how much more time is this going to need to right itself. I have been unfilled totally and gradually worked my way back up and it is still exactly the same but the worrying part for me is I honestly believe it is now psychological because even when my band is empty I still can't eat healthy foods or even drink Water like a normal person.

I did raise the psychological issue with my dietician but she just brushed it aside and told me to get on with things and keep trying and that is all well and good I have kept trying but I can't do this anymore, it is killing me and I am putting more and more weight on because I am unable to eat the healthier things so I am filling up on the junk I can eat.

What do I do, do I spend the rest of my life fighting this or do I give up and have my band removed. People who have not had weight loss surgery do not understand, they just think it is an easy step, the band is causing problems so just go take it out, if only it was that simple though. If it is psychological then surely I will still be in this position once it is removed, I really feel torn between the devil and the deep blue sea and I really do not have a clue about what to do next - If I decide to keep it and fight on can I really cope living like this but on the other hand if I decide to have it removed will I put more weight on again!!

Thank you for allowing me to vent, it has helped a little I think :confused:

MsTaylor

[kay Ellen 0]

I am so sorry to hear about all that you have been through.Each specialist has their own area of expertise. You have gone to your doctor and he is doing his thing with the band, you talked to the dietician and she didn't help. I think you are on the riight track in thinking that there is a psychological componet to what is going on with you. Before you quit why not find a psychotherapist? They look at a person's whole life, are insightful and can be very helpful. I wish you the best and hope that you get the changes that puts you on the road to a normal life.

[greytz 4]

MsTaylor, One thing is for sure. You can't go on living like that as you said. You need to do something and you definitely need help making the decision on what to do. If you feel that you can't get support from the doctor you have been using then it is time to find someone else who will help you. And, I do believe that you need to find someone who will help you psychologically as well. If the person you went to brushed you off then find someone else who will not. I know it is time consuming to do that and I don't say it lightly. I have had to do it many times in my life with doctors. I had cancer growing in my body and all the doctors kept telling me nothing was wrong. They even did a laporosopy and tons of testing and they kept telling me the pain was all in my head. It took me two years to find someone who would actually listen to me and subsequently that surgeon found my cancer. Within minutes I was at the hospital and in surgery. He saved my life. Hang in there and find a professional that will help you. They are out there.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Just because your dietitian "brushed aside" any psychological issues doesn't mean you should disregard it. You say you "trusted" your "fill guy" and learned from that; NOT! Your dietitian can advise you on WHAT to eat, not how you do it.

Good grief if you think it is likely psychological, go to a psychologist. If you have been medically checked out and there is no reason medically for you to be unable to eat then that leaves the old grey matter!

Get unfilled and get your SURGEON to recommend a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. If your surgeon can't recommend one, google it and find one in your area. That may seem like a pain in the neck but it's easier than having another surgery you may not need.

AND what if even AFTER the band is removed you still "can't eat healthy"? If your problem is psychological in nature you need a psychological fix.

If I were you I'd get unfilled, find a good psych person, and get to work. Once you get the issues that are causing your trouble under control, start SLOWLY filling again.

Most of us don't get too tight and then are never able to eat properly again; I think you are very smart to know something more than medical is going on with you. Don't let the naysayers like the dietitian have so much control over you...you were on the right track. Trust yourself; go get help.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

I think Monkey is spot-on! And, remember, your PCP can help you with a psychological referral, too!

Keep us posted so we know how you're doing.