Met with surgeon, now I'm upset/confused

[sberrys 0]

Had my first visit with the surgeon today and he advised me and my husband to go with gastric bypass despite the fact that we had already decided to go with the band. He said we would lose more weight with bypass and that the lap band was like using a tiny hammer to hit a big problem, it doesn't make much of a difference.

I had decided long ago never to get bypass because I've heard of so many people who got sick after bypass. I've looked at before and after photos and almost all of them just look sick to me. The doctor ultimately said it was my body and the decision was mine but he basically tried to convince me that most people do very well, most dont get sick, and the risks and complications are minimal. He also said that the proceedures doctors use have evolved and improved over even just over the last 5 years and it's much better now.

Now I'm all confused, frustrated, and upset because I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut my insides all up and not be able to reverse it if I get sick. I know of people who have been on their death beds off and on since they had bypass, and some who have died. I haven't heard of a lot of this with the band and all the before/after photos people look healthier after. But insurance will pay for all but maybe $500 for bypass but it will not cover over $5000 for the band. When you put me and my husband together that's $10,000 spent on bands and we don't have that kind of money so we're talking a lot of debt. $10,000 versus $1,000... amazing what an extra zero will do.

So confused. :sad: :confused:

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Go to another surgeon and seminar. I feel your surgeon is wrong, but I am not a surgeon. I know how MY surgeon comported himself, however, and it wasn't anything like what you experienced.

I weighed 405 and I was 53 years old. I had no comorbidities; I was "borderline" everything. My sugeron calmly and concisely laid out current procedures and statistics for lap band, the sleeve, bypass, and the duodenal switch. He said he only does (did) lap band and bypass but he wanted us to know there were other options and be able to choose what was right for us.

Once I selected lap band, I told him it seemed to me lwith that tool I would be able to lose as much or as little as I wanted; that I would have control. He agreed this was a correct assessment.

I went with it and have never once looked back or regretted it. Had he given me good valid reasons (that tiny hammer to hit a big problem has visual impact but no facts to check out) to get bypass over lap band I would've considered it. However, he is a smart, compassionate, skilled surgeon and was behind MY choice.

You need someone like that. I know that great as my Dr. Cavazos is, he is NOT the only good surgeon practicing!

So look around some more. ByPass MAY be the correct surgery for you and/or your husband, or the sleeve may be correct, or the lap band. Don't go with a surgeon who seems to push his agenda on you without giving you good solid facts.

From what I've read, at 5 years post op, lap bander and bypassers experience similar losses. Some lose all, some don't lose much, and the average is around 50% if I recall correctly (some say 55%, it depends) The band works IF you work it. That is the case with all surgeries except the duodenal switch. You choose what fits your life, your lifestyle, and where you want to be in 5 years or 10.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Had my first visit with the surgeon today and he advised me and my husband to go with gastric bypass despite the fact that we had already decided to go with the band. He said we would lose more weight with bypass and that the lap band was like using a tiny hammer to hit a big problem, it doesn't make much of a difference.

I had decided long ago never to get bypass because I've heard of so many people who got sick after bypass. I've looked at before and after photos and almost all of them just look sick to me. The doctor ultimately said it was my body and the decision was mine but he basically tried to convince me that most people do very well, most dont get sick, and the risks and complications are minimal. He also said that the proceedures doctors use have evolved and improved over even just over the last 5 years and it's much better now.

Now I'm all confused, frustrated, and upset because I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut my insides all up and not be able to reverse it if I get sick. I know of people who have been on their death beds off and on since they had bypass, and some who have died. I haven't heard of a lot of this with the band and all the before/after photos people look healthier after. But insurance will pay for all but maybe $500 for bypass but it will not cover over $5000 for the band. When you put me and my husband together that's $10,000 spent on bands and we don't have that kind of money so we're talking a lot of debt. $10,000 versus $1,000... amazing what an extra zero will do.

So confused. :sad: :confused:

I wouldn't get either, I'd get the sleeve. To spend $10K on bands knowing what I know today... there is no way.

Maybe read this:

Medical News: ASMBS: Gastric Banding Less Effective than Other Procedures - in Meeting Coverage, ASMBS from MedPage Today

This is a big decision, do what is right for you.

[Unforgettable 0]

Get a second opinion.

Make sure you've researched all of your options though too, as different weight loss surgeries focus on different eating issues. You've "heard" about the complications associated with bypass, but take the time to actually research it and you may be surprised at what you find. Ultimately, don't go with a surgery that you don't feel comfortable with, but also do your homework so you have a good understanding of what you're looking at.

Good luck to you!

[greytz 4]

It is very difficult to make the decision and ultimately only the both of you can make it. I think definitely the surgeon has his own agenda and you should run not walk away from that. Research and find a surgeon you are comfortable with that will help educate you and help you make your own decisions. But someone that will be supportive and promote aftercare for whichever surgery you choose.

[jenrobbar951 0]

I agree. Search for another surgeon. Obviously you have done some research that has made you lean towards one procedure and not the other. All and all, it is YOUR decision. But I would definitely go to another surgeon and see what he/she has to say. If they say the same thing as this particular surgeon, then there may be some truth to it.....but ultimately, it is your choice. It is your body and it is your money. No one can make the choice for you. Best of luck and let us know how the second surgeon's meeting works out and what you decide to do!

[Tropicana 0]

Sometimes I read stuff on this site that makes me raise an eyebrow. Would you rather your surgeon give you his opinion based on his experience and education with other patients like you or would you rather your surgeon just tell you what you want to hear so as not to upset you?

Get a second opinion, definitely. And research, research, research. But there is no reason to be upset nor is there a reason to be suspicious that your doctor has "another agenda." Ultimately they are there to help you.

[Unforgettable 0]

Sometimes I read stuff on this site that makes me raise an eyebrow. Would you rather your surgeon give you his opinion based on his experience and education with other patients like you or would you rather your surgeon just tell you what you want to hear so as not to upset you?

Get a second opinion, definitely. And research, research, research. But there is no reason to be upset nor is there a reason to be suspicious that your doctor has "another agenda." Ultimately they are there to help you.

You hope them helping you is their driving force. Unfortunately as a nurse and seeing the behind-the-scenes way that things work, that's not always the case. That's why it's so important to get second and third opinions, and do your own research before even going to a doctor, then research after speaking with you. Not to mention research the doctor/practice themselves.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Unforgettable is right. We WISH all medical personnel were kind and compassionate and interested first in our health and well being, but that isn't true. There is a predominance of kind compassionate people but you still have to use your brain and make your own choices.

That's why, if you think the doc has a hidden agenda, he very well may. Find out WHY he's pushing one thing over another (and this is true for any medical procedure, not just this surgery). If you find his reasoning is dicey, get another opinion. By doc 2 or 3 if they ALL agree with doc 1, then maybe you are the problem! LOL But

knowledge is a GOOD thing. Finding out all you can and making your own best choice is optimum.

[Unforgettable 0]

dorky as the saying may be, I always tell my patients that knowledge really is power!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

A lot of it depends on the doctor. Some doctors do what is in the best interest of their patients. Some do what is in the best interest of their wallets.

I know of a doc in Phoenix that used to do ALL the major procedures, DS, bypass, sleeves, and bands. He was really a skilled surgeon, very skilled. But he found more money in bands. He can turns bands into an assembly line and pump out many daily. It's a money maker and he's turned into a band factory. I know another doc in Phoenix this is not a skilled surgeon and he's become an ERNY factory.

If they offer ALL the major procedures they are far more likely to give you a balanced opinion.

[Headhunter 6]

Sberry;

You have actually heard VERY wise opinions from several of my favorite people: Wasa, Restless, and Unforgettable. Some day I’m gonna get those Broads in a hot tub with some Margaritas and we’re gonna talk about all the LBT weirdness.

Note to self: did I actually just call them BROADS? Nah. I couldn’t have….

Ok.

My first question would be WHY did the surgeon recommend Bypass, specifically. Because he is more experienced with it? Because he has had better results with it? Or he thinks it would be better for YOU specifically?

Did he ask you at all about your eating habits, your patterns of losing/gaining weight? Did he ask you about your relationship with “sugary” foods? Did he ask you if you felt that you were one of those people who merely LOOKS at food and gains weight?

What kinds of questions did he ask you? Or what kinds of forms did he have you fill out?

The fact is that he MAY have had a specific reason for recommending bypass. And it has to do with some of the questions I asked above. You should call him back and ask him why SPECIFICALLY he suggested bypass, as it relates to YOU. The fact that “you’ll lose more weight with Bypass” is important, but it’s not the ONLY factor. One of the other procedures might be better suited to you, your personality, your emotional needs, and your very individual physiology.

What your potential surgeon said about the bypass was CORRECT. It IS a very good procedure. BUT….it might NOT be the right one for you. I have had a Bypass, and it WAS the right one for ME. But it might not be for you.

NOTE: The fact that he seems to recommending Bypass for BOTH of you is a little suspicious, but possible, I suppose. Again….find out WHY.

One thing I would caution you about, though. Don’t go shopping for a surgeon that will tell you what you THINK you want to hear. If you go to several surgeons and ALL of them say “Bypass”, then DO consider it, but MAKE SURE you find out WHY. Same with the other procedures.

Also, remember that you are NOT MARRIED to THAT surgeon. Go to SEVERAL surgeons, but research them beforehand. Make sure that they do NOT have a bias. You might also seek out a Therapist that specializes in Bariatric cases to help you sort it out. This is a growing specialty, Therapists that help patients understand what their disorders are, and help treat them. THEY can give you some insight as to what might be your best method.

ALL the surgeries work, BUT to varying degrees, depending on what YOUR specific need is. Bypass IS better for many people. The Sleeve is as well. Even the Band is. Look at my Buddy Restless Monkey….she’s doing GREAT with it! But it is VERY individual.

Don’t make your decision quickly….you have plenty of time, and you want to make the RIGHT choice.

HH

(broads? Nah…I didn’t really SAY that…..did I?):thumbup:

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Note to self: did I actually just call them BROADS? Nah. I couldn’t have….

(broads? Nah…I didn’t really SAY that…..did I?):thumbup:

I've been called worse.

[Headhunter 6]

It was my "Inner Sinatra" peeking through.....

HH

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Hey if you can sing like Frank you can call me a broad (or a dame for that matter) ANY time.