The "F" word

[Fae 0]

Funny, because if it wasn't for me having access to good medical care and a surgeon, I would still be fat. I would still have co-morbidities that cost the system tons of money. Deny healthcare access to fat people? Are they insane? That's like shooting yourself in the foot.

As for being called fat myself, it hurt. It always did. And it didn't matter if I was called obese, chucky, or big boned. It always had a sting to it. They only way that went away was when I lost the weight. Now I'm skinny-minny, doesn't hurt nearly as bad though ; )

[BigGurlX 0]

O.k so this one is going to sound a little harsh and I'm shocked I havent heard anyone mention it just yet. BBW big beautiful woman this term just makes me cringe. I have seen some rather unatractive women label themselves this. Oh yeah and then there is SSBBW that is Super Size BBW WTF.. Seriously why would somebody label themselves that. I have no problem with people being comfortable in their skin. But it just sickens me that there are some people who know they are doomed to an early grave due to their weight and eating habits and choose to do nothing to address it.

Don't forget beauty is inside and out. IMHO the most beautiful people are those who shine from the inside

[soocalchic 1,087]

Don't forget beauty is inside and out. IMHO the most beautiful people are those who shine from the inside

I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion.. It just bothers me that people would be accepting of such labels. Its a disturbing trend since when is being "FAT" o.k. It's funny because we all have a discriminating eye. Who in this forum hasnt gone to a social gathering and you just happen to spot a person who is FATTER than you. Kind of hard to admit but i always do, especially when I see someone who doesnt carry their weight well. I'm always like Dam there is some hope at least I don't look that bad. I know I'm sick just thought I would share my evil thoughts

[Unforgettable 0]

soocalchic you're not sick. That's perfectly natural and I have no shame admitting that when I'm uncomfortable at a social event I check to see if there are any other "big girls." If there isn't, then it makes me feel even more awkward. I recognize a lot of this comes from my head but other people think the same thing as well.

Beauty does come from the inside and out but realistically in our society beauty and appearance is the first thing noticed, and that usually includes measuring up someone's size. We're all guilty of it, even us "big-boned" folks so let's not act like we aren't!

[kossde 6]

I don't actually have a problem with the word 'fat'. I did at one point, though. There was a time in my life when I so uncomfortable with my weight that I could not tolerate to use the word much less hear it used in regard to me. But over the years, I realized that in all honesty, I was fat. It’s an easy word to say, one syllable, and makes very clear the fact that I was overweight. It was true – I was overweight; I was fat. The realization came over time; I couldn’t correct a problem I refused to acknowledge. Until I admitted to myself that I was fat, there was no way I was going to become not-fat. Ultimately, I had to realize that there was no way to deny and hide something that is as blatantly obvious as obesity unless you want to live as recluse.

The other side of the coin is, it doesn't matter what word is used to describe the condition, it still exists. In fact, 'fat' is often such a gross understatement of the actual problem that it doesn't begin to describe the situation. Phrases like morbidly obese, self-destructive, self-damaging, and the most horrific truth of all, slowly killing ourselves, are more accurate terms for what most of us are in the process of undoing and overcoming. They aren’t friendly or understanding terms, but this is not a friendly or understanding problem that we are facing. This is a disorder that is hell-bent on destroying our lives. Sugar coating the terminology would equate to calling a tumor a pimple.

[melmarlem 0]

Wow, thanks everyone for posting your opinions. It was fun reading the responses...they were very powerful...and very true. Only 2 more days to go until I get banded. Can't wait to not be "fat" anymore!!

[Carrie_C 9]

I hate "Big Girl". UGGGGGG

I am also guilty of evil thoughts. I was so happy when I wasn't the biggest person at my job anymore.

[bookwormswot 0]

No one can hurt me without my permission. And I do not give it.

Holli, how I wish I were strong like that. I can put on a good front and the people will never know they hurt me, but inside, it sometimes really wounds me.

[HolliJ 24]

Holli, how I wish I were strong like that. I can put on a good front and the people will never know they hurt me, but inside, it sometimes really wounds me.

I've never let anyone have that kind of power over me. Because of that, I think, no one has messed with me. People have a way of knowing whether or not they can hurt or control you.

In school, I was a normal weight child, but I wasn't exactly "normal". I was pretty much a loner. I read books in class, ignoring my schoolwork. I wasn't shy. Sometimes I was the class clown, other times I never spoke to anyone. No one ever harassed me in a negative way, though. If anyone said something to me that was rude, I let them have it. I never fought anyone, but I wouldn't sit back and let someone treat me as though I were less than them. I made it clear I wasn't and that they couldn't touch me. And so no one really tried.

I spend a good portion of my childhood moving around (Hawaii, The Netherlands, etc...). I met many DIFFERENT people - racially, culturally, etc.. I saw the world. I think when you're exposed to the world, you realize that there's more to life than being concerned about the small minds of others. I feel privileged to have met so many different people, which has always reminded me how different everyone really is. There is no standard to who you should be, no rules. I'm not afraid or hurt by the people who don't realize that. I feel sorry for them that they feel it's worth it to hurt others, instead of improving upon themselves. There are far more important things to me than their small words.

[BigGurlX 0]

I've never let anyone have that kind of power over me. Because of that, I think, no one has messed with me. People have a way of knowing whether or not they can hurt or control you.

In school, I was a normal weight child, but I wasn't exactly "normal". I was pretty much a loner. I read books in class, ignoring my schoolwork. I wasn't shy. Sometimes I was the class clown, other times I never spoke to anyone. No one ever harassed me in a negative way, though. If anyone said something to me that was rude, I let them have it. I never fought anyone, but I wouldn't sit back and let someone treat me as though I were less than them. I made it clear I wasn't and that they couldn't touch me. And so no one really tried.

I spend a good portion of my childhood moving around (Hawaii, The Netherlands, etc...). I met many DIFFERENT people - racially, culturally, etc.. I saw the world. I think when you're exposed to the world, you realize that there's more to life than being concerned about the small minds of others. I feel privileged to have met so many different people, which has always reminded me how different everyone really is. There is no standard to who you should be, no rules. I'm not afraid or hurt by the people who don't realize that. I feel sorry for them that they feel it's worth it to hurt others, instead of improving upon themselves. There are far more important things to me than their small words.

Very well said Holli,

The world is a very big place with many different standards of beauty and that includes "size". I am a "Big Gurl" and LOVE myself and other big folks. The best thing about choosing the band is that it allows "us" to choose what size we want to be, while helping to get to a healthy weight.

I would enjoy having a shape which is nice and curvy and not thin....because "thin" is NOT in!