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Seriously curious

BethFromVA

By BethFromVA, in Rants & Raves

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

Your IQ must be less than your BMI. On an odd Thursday. But not if you ate possum 2 days ago. That head hunger won't be a prob if you eat ALL of the possum - ears and teeff too. You cain't get no band local...got to go to one of them backwoods kinda places. Band'll look great around neck. Add some pop tops and you got yourself quite a necklace. It'll also bring in "talkin" from space. And, I KNOW your aunt's cousin's BFF. She ain't no teacher. She just says that so's she can use her paddle.

TPG

:unsure::lol:

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

Man, you guys are good! Can I be like you all when I grow up? I can never get the good zingers in! I think of stuff hours later once the conversation has moved on...

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ThePoolGirl    1

ThePoolGirl
Posted

Also:

Bored woman + wine + variety of topics + a serious love for stooopid stuff =

Great one-liners and other worthless crap :unsure:

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

Slim,

Haven't you heard?: Fat people are jolly. Think Santa Claus!!

TPG

I think I skipped that chapter in my "fat girl" manual.:unsure:

Also:

Bored woman + wine + variety of topics + a serious love for stooopid stuff =

Great one-liners and other worthless crap :smile2:

:wub::lol::(

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BethFromVA    5

BethFromVA
Posted

Speaking of which, my aunt's cousin's BFF's first teacher said that "head hunger" can be controlled by having a 2nd band installed around the neck. Is this true? Can I get it done locally? Will my insurance pay? Do I have to have a low IQ to qualify?

I'd say if your insurance won't pay for it, either wear a REALLY tight choker necklace or simply wear a necktie set on strangle.

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BethFromVA    5

BethFromVA
Posted

What the hell is all this talk about head hunger? I don't WANT any heads! Eyes and cheeks and tongues -- NO HEADS!

By the way, if my band is too tight, can I get constipated? I'm not pooing very well. And when I do, it's got this strange "ring" shape to it...

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*slim*    2

*slim*
Posted

By the way, if my band is too tight, can I get constipated? I'm not pooing very well. And when I do, it's got this strange "ring" shape to it...

:unsure::lol::smile2:

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ThePoolGirl    1

ThePoolGirl
Posted

Dearest Jennifer,

The problem you are having is caused by the Oreos. Apparently you are NOT eating the super-size, double-filled kind. Please refer to your surgeon's instructions before you have nerve enough to post again.

TPG

Un-bandeded, never bandeded, but still an expert on these matters.

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BethFromVA    5

BethFromVA
Posted

Hey I've been banded for nearly a year. I can eat a whole gallon of ice cream, a pack of oreos and a plate of chicken strips in sitting. Do you think I need a fill?

SURE you can! However, you MUST take note to eat these things in the proper order. Ice cream FIRST, since it melts and essentially becomes liquid. Then Cookies next because, let's face it, they're EXCELLENT sliders. THEN the chicken.< /p>

Follow those rules and you're good to go.

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