Lucky #7 are still going strong !!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

WTG PHYL !!! You Rock !!

Yes - Wine in the fridge - the hordourvers (sp) are made along with 2 kinds of fudge (apples recipe) white & choc which is in the fridge.

She won't be reading this cuz she's pm her way here - she doesn't know what's for dinner !!!

My fav dinner - She's going to get to try it - Yes ladies - Fish, Rice, Spinach :0)

Will ck back later - I won't be drinking tonite, saving it for Saturday and my Xmas party..

[jackie506 1]

Hello again!! Fly by post but wanted to thank you all for being here. I really needed to hear your words of encouragement. I am still in search for a home. Will be definately waiting until after Christmas to move now. I started counseling today. It was very tearful but I really like the counselor.

Sorry so short. I will get back hopefully this weekend.

[cramerk 1]

Phyl, wow!! you go girls. Earl must have stanima, hehehe Hey I don't get any, I have to live vicariously through you all. thanks for sharing, there is still hope for me yet to have 'it' at least one more time before I die!!

food today, SUCKED. Got into an out of control stress eating frenzy. Was okay until I reached for my afternoon fruit snack, no fruit. Okay, so I had a little bowl of blueberries (breakfast food), then it quickly moved to laughing cow and crackers, then 1/2 a chocolate bar and a piece of banana taffee. Damn, I hate when I loose it. It is like an out of body experience. I can actually watch myself eating this crap and shake my head. So naturally the bloat is on. I just really got fed up with all the parent emails. They all want me to stop teaching and notify them IMMEDIATELY when their child doesn't complete or do well on an assignment. We actually post their grades online so the parents can see them anytime they want. But hell no, that requires the parents to actually log into the website. They insist that I email them. So I spent 3 hours on the computer today answering and sending emails. I'm about fried. Others want notified IN ADVANCE when there is going to be an assignment...uh, don't I post my lesson plans on the web page every week. Oh yeah, that would again require the parents to log on and actually look. So I realize that these are only baby 6th & 7th graders, who are unable to wipe their own damn noses. Sorry, I'm tired, sugar headache, and feeling pretty lousy about my loss of control.

Janet & Phyl, hope your dinner goes well. I haven't done anything with an adult for fun in almost 6 months.....yeah I don't have a life.

[jackie506 1]

Ok ladies just ckecking in again. Did not have time to post earlier about my refill appt yesterday. Dr was NOT pleased that I have lost 16 pounds since October 28. I explained all the stress and being sick and ect. He reluctantly gave me MOST of the amount he had removed and did give me a Vitamin B12 shot to boost my energy level. Doesn't feel I am lacking but he said with being so sick maybe a boost of B12 would help the fatigue. Wants me to come back in 2 weeks for another and then 2 weeks after that for another.

About the counseling. I really like her a lot and was immediately open and honest with her. Many many tears. She does not feel I am emotionally stable enough to say I want a divorce and to follow thru with it right now. I am a person who can't stand to hurt others and I am so worried about hubby if I leave. I know not my problem but I have always taken care of everyone all my life and I am not sure how to take care of ME. I had to counsel before I went thru my first divorce as well. I am a codependent person. Text book case! I will get thru this. I know that. It justs takes time. For me I am not the type that can let people go entirely. I mean I still want them in my life. I do not want the marriage thing with hubby but the caregiver in me still wants to 'be there' for him in case he needs me. Crazy I know. Thru counseling I am hoping to become strong enough to be able to let go and let him take care of himself. I also hope to learn why it is I seek out these needy men so that I can take care of them! I want to someday maybe have a healthy mutual relationship with someone who takes care of themselves but still wants me ya know?!

Anyway, I just had to come back and explain a bit. I told my counselor all about my band and band family and she feels it is very good the I have you all as support as well. Kudos to us lucky 7's!! I love you all and appreciate all the words of encouragement and even the tough love given at times. I need it all!!! Thank you!!!

[peaches9 3]

finish :0) when I get back..

Your meeting will be fine - don't work yourself up

Put the candy down :0)...

Well, the staff mtg is over and it was quite heated, tears, accusations etc... oh my gosh...

when I got home i drafted a letter to my boss... it reads below.

Well, that was interesting! I tried to call you but its getting late.

"M", I am still reeling... I cannot believe that I am being blamed for everything that is wrong in that girls life!!!

She has just too much baggage on the platform, and I am not strong enough to carry it or put it on the train.

She was so busy during the entire meeting playing the victim role... it was too much. And still making excuses for herself!

I said that I would meet with her privately so that we can have a chat, perhaps to smooth some things out. But I am not taking on the mantle of her low self esteeem.

I will not quit my job over her either, If you want to fire me well that's your perogative... but I would never say anything to hurt anyone, she just wants to HEAR that she is being hurt...She is most comfortable when she is in the VICTOM role. If I was to quit who would she have to blame for feeling crumby about herself then? Never once did she say anything about the positive exchanges that we have had... It may be that she"s been hurt by all kinds of other people... but I didnt' hurt her... I did not make her feel stupid. SHe does that all by herself.

Even if we have a dialogue, I am not sure that "L" can be trusted to put things behind her and start afresh... but I will do my best. I said I would.

I feel that I have much more to offer the clinic, I enjoy what I do and I'd like to be able to have conversations with all staff members, without having to be Guarded on everyword like I am some kind of ogre. I am a very compationate person, I have ethics and I have skill... all these things I take with me where ever I go...I have worked hard for you " M" for 2 1/2 years... I have been with you the longest of any of the current staff... Is that because I am so hard to deal with??? Gee, you'd think I'd have been the first person for you to dump.

What happened to that clinic I WANTED to work at 2 1/2 years ago, what happened to the people who always worked together as a team. Teased each other, laughed at each other but got the JOB done?

Please assure me that you are going to deal with her position.. as you spoke to me of the other evening.

Somthing interesting happened today, a few weeks ahead I noticed that there was a booking error on Dr. c' page. 2 IFC's were booked back to back. no space...

I went out to Mary, and said she might want to take a look at the page to make a reschedule... she didn't freek out, or cry or feel threatened by me... please ask her yourself..

This is the kind of exchange I might have with Lori, but with a much different outcome... because I get heard as the OGRE...

I hope that you will consider this note in the spirit it is intended..I mean no disrespect

Candice

[IndioGirl55 32]

Jackie - Hugs Hugs Hugs - Seeing a Counselor is GREAT!! And I agree if you aren't ready then don't do it - but with the help of counseling you will get there and understand why you choose needy men.. Yes you will get thru it and be a better person for it - This is what I mean about growing up - you are still in your 30's and this is your life experience and when you get to be my age & done the counseling thing you will be as smart as me lol lol... Gf in my 30's I was still making mistakes - made them in my 40's and all those mistakes I have learned from and have made me the person I am today.

That's not to say I won't make any more as life goes on - but I think I got a pretty good handle on what I want from life and how I want to be treated.. In my case - I am sick & tired of caring for others - It's my time - But again I spent 40 yrs of taking care of others

You know we are always here for you - Hugs

Candice - Hugs on you meeting - wait to send the letter re-read it tomorrow - Nothing wrong with it - but it's best to re-read stuff after you have been upset - I sure and the hell don't see you as a mean person - I hate victims :0)

Karla - Your food wasn't that bad 1/2 a choc bar not 10 - that in its self is a great thing :0) - I don't know what to tell you about the parents - I would tell them I have 165 kids and I can't respond to every single one of these parents - They need to log on and ck things out - they need to stay on top of their kids..

I wish you were closer - we could have great adult time :0)

Had a great time w/Phyl & Earl and they enjoyed my dinner :0)

Here our Picture

[peaches9 3]

Jackie - Hugs Hugs Hugs - Seeing a Counselor is GREAT!! And I agree if you aren't ready then don't do it - but with the help of counseling you will get there and understand why you choose needy men.. Yes you will get thru it and be a better person for it - This is what I mean about growing up - you are still in your 30's and this is your life experience and when you get to be my age & done the counseling thing you will be as smart as me lol lol... Gf in my 30's I was still making mistakes - made them in my 40's and all those mistakes I have learned from and have made me the person I am today.

That's not to say I won't make any more as life goes on - but I think I got a pretty good handle on what I want from life and how I want to be treated.. In my case - I am sick & tired of caring for others - It's my time - But again I spent 40 yrs of taking care of others

You know we are always here for you - Hugs

Candice - Hugs on you meeting - wait to send the letter re-read it tomorrow - Nothing wrong with it - but it's best to re-read stuff after you have been upset - I sure and the hell don't see you as a mean person - I hate victims :0)

Karla - Your food wasn't that bad 1/2 a choc bar not 10 - that in its self is a great thing :0) - I don't know what to tell you about the parents - I would tell them I have 165 kids and I can't respond to every single one of these parents - They need to log on and ck things out - they need to stay on top of their kids..

I wish you were closer - we could have great adult time :0)

Had a great time w/Phyl & Earl and they enjoyed my dinner :0)

Here our Picture

Awh, great pictures.. look at those 2 skinny women... I don't think I'll ever be skinny... too much stress with this bullsh!t job...

Oh, too late I've already sent my letter... I liked it... reread it several times. and I really don't care, I could be happy retired. I was before and I will be again

[phyllser 3]

WTG PHYL !!! You Rock !!

Yes - Wine in the fridge - the hordourvers (sp) are made along with 2 kinds of fudge (apples recipe) white & choc which is in the fridge.

She won't be reading this cuz she's pm her way here - she doesn't know what's for dinner !!!

My fav dinner - She's going to get to try it - Yes ladies - Fish, Rice, Spinach :0)

Will ck back later - I won't be drinking tonite, saving it for Saturday and my Xmas party..

Dinner was WONDERFUL! Loved the fish cooked that way, and rice is always a treat for me... we don't cook it hardly EVER, and we both lOVE spinach. Fudge was yummy! I hid the take home bag! LOL! And looking forward to having the lima bean Soup for dinner tomorrow! Thank you, thank you!

Phyl, wow!! you go girls. Earl must have stanima, hehehe Hey I don't get any, I have to live vicariously through you all. thanks for sharing, there is still hope for me yet to have 'it' at least one more time before I die!!

Janet & Phyl, hope your dinner goes well. I haven't done anything with an adult for fun in almost 6 months.....yeah I don't have a life.

I'm tellin' you the truth...

the bed already had a leak!

Of course there is hope for you...

you're a beautiful young woman!

We had a great dinner and a very enjoyable afternoon/evening!

But we saw a bad accident on the way home. Glad it was dark. Rollover on a very bad curve on a dark windy road. Lots of firetrucks and emergency vehicles and car was pretty far off the road and upside down.. appeared to be one car accident.. Probably going to fast on the curve and lost it.

Jackie - Hugs Hugs Hugs - Seeing a Counselor is GREAT!! And I agree if you aren't ready then don't do it - but with the help of counseling you will get there and understand why you choose needy men.. Yes you will get thru it and be a better person for it - This is what I mean about growing up - you are still in your 30's and this is your life experience and when you get to be my age & done the counseling thing you will be as smart as me lol lol... Gf in my 30's I was still making mistakes - made them in my 40's and all those mistakes I have learned from and have made me the person I am today.

That's not to say I won't make any more as life goes on - but I think I got a pretty good handle on what I want from life and how I want to be treated.. In my case - I am sick & tired of caring for others - It's my time - But again I spent 40 yrs of taking care of others

You know we are always here for you - Hugs

Candice - Hugs on you meeting - wait to send the letter re-read it tomorrow - Nothing wrong with it - but it's best to re-read stuff after you have been upset - I sure and the hell don't see you as a mean person - I hate victims :0)

Karla - Your food wasn't that bad 1/2 a choc bar not 10 - that in its self is a great thing :0) - I don't know what to tell you about the parents - I would tell them I have 165 kids and I can't respond to every single one of these parents - They need to log on and ck things out - they need to stay on top of their kids..

I wish you were closer - we could have great adult time :0)

Had a great time w/Phyl & Earl and they enjoyed my dinner :0)

Here our Picture

Yes... hugs to both of you... Jacki & Candice.

Hang in there. Things will get better.

Karla, can't you fanagle a "business trip" somewhere???

Like VEGAS??? We'd meet you there, wouldn't we, Janet!!

[cramerk 1]

Phyl, I want to know your trick. You look 30 years younger than your before picture!! Earl has a 'keeper', so he better treat you right or someother handsome man will just sneak you out from under his nose.

Janet, gorgeous decorations!! I use to do that, not so much anymore! Next year I plan on getting back to that.

Jackie, you go for the guys that you can 'take care of', I go for guys that are control freaks. Neither is a healthy relationship. The B12 shots will help. Mine are actually a BComplex, combo of B's, and amino acids. I won't be able to continue my original shots as my pharmacies found out that there are too many regulations for him to make that exact mixture. So I am going to have to go with just the Bcomplex, which is what he can do. I can't afford the trip to Kalispell to pick up the orginal mixture. Although DD#4 goes past there on her way to see the new man, hummmm, never thought of that? May have to reconsider.

Janet you are right on the candy, is use to be multiples. But either way it isn't healthy and I didn't go into debt to eat crap. Today will be better. I am bummed, I order my SF Irish Cream flavoring by the case, cheaper and saves me trips to the liquor store. Well opened the case and made a latte, couldn't figure out why it tasted different. They gave me REGULAR flavoring. Let's not even think of the calories. Do I notice this at the beginning of the cup, oh no, only as I am putting everything away. So calories I didn't even want. Now I have to take the case back, wait for a new case to be ordered, and make another trip. Oh well, at least I noticed.

Had really STRANGE dream last night. It was about when I worked at Dairy Queen. About 8 years ago it was my summer job and I worked for a friend. It was one of those stupid dreams about 'having to get something done....everything gets in the way of getting it done.' NOT my favorite type, just a little stress poking it's ugly head.

Going to wrap Christmas gifts this weekend and then mail what needs to be mailed. Very advanced for me. Usually, I am express mailing them on Dec 22. It's easy when it isn't much. Going to make my Son-in-law chocolate nut clusters. I just need to finish embroidery DD#1's dish towel and put the edging on it. Should finish the stitching tonight and then make a hem out of patchwork squares. Fairly quick.

Well it is that time. You all are great ladies. I am SOOO looking forward to the weekend. I don't have to be anywhere and only need to do a little homework and school work. Yeah, who knows maybe I will get my biscotti and short bread done. OH and Candice and Janet and anyone else who has puppies, if you email me your addresses, I will send your puppies some of my special homemade bones to put under your tree. IF you all are REALLY nice and send me your addresses, I'll send you all either some biscotti or my black and white shortbread.

Love you all. TTFN

[peaches9 3]

Hello again!! Fly by post but wanted to thank you all for being here. I really needed to hear your words of encouragement. I am still in search for a home. Will be definately waiting until after Christmas to move now. I started counseling today. It was very tearful but I really like the counselor.

Sorry so short. I will get back hopefully this weekend.

Jackie; sorry I havn't been of much support. Its been a hell of a week at work and its not over yet... sending extra special hugs your way..

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang

I got to sleep in this morning - in fact if bear hadn't woke me up I might still be a sleep..

Phyl - Thanks you are too sweet - dinner was my normal dinner thought you and Earl would love to eat what I eat on a normal night ;0) - I like it :0) enough to eat it for 29 months - I do variations to the fish but - it's my dinner and it's easy..

I was just thinking when I 1st woke up I should have made Earl a little bag to take home - Well it's it the fridge (I don't like cold choc) I had what was on the little plate last night but no more - I wanted more - but like I said I don't like cold choc so I am safe for now :0)

I know the curve you are speaking about - I have seen a couple of 1 car accidents there - yep driving too fast

You can make horduvers (sp) with the dates - wrap bacon around them - broil them - My Mom use to do that when they entertained ;0) - I bet your Canadian friends will love them.

Ok gang we need to exchange Addresses for Xmas cards and dog bones - & I want the black/white cookie ;0)...

I will send out an email - and we can give do a card exchange ;0)

Candice - Your letter was fine really - but I have always been told not to send stuff when you are in a huff - I have written many of them - just writing them can be enough for me - I usually don't send them - I am not as diplomatic as you - I have to be really careful or I would be fired and I can't do retirement yet :0) - I need my health insurance and I need to be able to shop ;0)

Karla - I picked needy ones then got over that and picked a controling one - thought I was making a good choice - he didn't do drug/alcohol - owned his own house and had his own car (all prior bf had nothing and usually a drug issue) and it still wasn't a good choice - he was a control freak ;0) had great qualities too - he did take care of me like earl does phyl but the other stuff like being jealous of my kids - giving me crap for being 5 min late from work or hanging w/gf - just was too much for me..

This yr when pulling out my xmas decorations - I had a box of like oldtime decorations - for the last 5 yrs my tree was done in a diff color - but this yr felt like the color stuff - I miss the tinsel though.. There was one xmas in 98 where I didn't decorate at all..

Well need another cup of coffee - don't know what I am going to do today - suppose to go karakoe w/my trainer tonite - I may just start wrapping - don't feel like getting dress right now and won't be going to the gym - knee is giving me problems

CBL

[cramerk 1]

Whoa, where is everyone??

I'm finally home, seemed to take for ever today. So my nap isn't an option tonight, dang. My latte is even lousy. I think I will just dump it out and start over. DD#4 went to the boy friends for the weekend. I told her that he better get on the road over the Christmas break and drive down here or I would hurt him. DD#2 & someday son-in-law, they have ONLY been together for 15 years...., are coming up from Idaho to go to the Griz playoff game. They will be heading home right after the game, so I'll babysit their lab and then meet them in town when the game is over. which mean the rest of the weekend I'll be alone. Normally would love it, but Simon, DD#4's doxi, is such a marshmallow that when she isn't here he paces half the night, which means I don't get any sleep.

Well, I'm going to go try to make another latte. Check in later. TTFN

[IndioGirl55 32]

Whoa, where is everyone??

I'm finally home, seemed to take for ever today. So my nap isn't an option tonight, dang. My latte is even lousy. I think I will just dump it out and start over. DD#4 went to the boy friends for the weekend. I told her that he better get on the road over the Christmas break and drive down here or I would hurt him. DD#2 & someday son-in-law, they have ONLY been together for 15 years...., are coming up from Idaho to go to the Griz playoff game. They will be heading home right after the game, so I'll babysit their lab and then meet them in town when the game is over. which mean the rest of the weekend I'll be alone. Normally would love it, but Simon, DD#4's doxi, is such a marshmallow that when she isn't here he paces half the night, which means I don't get any sleep.

Well, I'm going to go try to make another latte. Check in later. TTFN

I'm here still in my pj's haven't left the house or done a damn thing all day

well I did get the xmas gifts out of the trunk and put in my room - and wrote down addresses - took a 2 hr nap

and just fed the dogs and am cooking some spinach to go with the left overs from last night..

coffee sounds good - may go make a cup - it's cold 54 ;0) and a storm is coming in suppose to be 68 tomorrow and then 63 and rain the rest of the week - I will get to wear my boots and sweaters next week and to the xmas party tomorrow nite

My dogs are right up under me when pple are here and when we have gone to Joseph's they are under my feet 24/7.. right not they just ate so they are full and sleeping

[cramerk 1]

Janet, my dogs are currently acting as foot warmers which is fine with me. I'm still freezing. DD#4 went through kalispell to see the new guy, so she stopped and got me some more Bcomplex and amino acids. The doc was a sweetheart and gave me a $20 discount so it isn't costing as much. I was going to go to my local pharmacy and just to the Bcomplex. I still think I will and substitue just it for half the doses.

Well, the puppies just had a dog fight on my lap. That rarely happens, so what the heck is that all about? Poor Simon got pinned by the other two and he was crying like crazy. Threw them all on the floor so they could work it out. Now Simon is doing the poor me. I sure hope this isn't what the whole weekend is going to be like. grrrr.

Being a woosie and hiding out in a partially dim house because I can't face the Schwan's man to tell him I can't afford Schwan's for awhile. Left him a note on the door, cold I know, but I'm a chicken and I know I'll cry if I have to tell him to his face. He is a sweetheart and will totally understand, but I'm just a big chicken.< /p>

Thanks for the addresses. Now I have to send cards. I don't think I've mailed cards for 20 years. Just shows you how few friends I have.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Janet, my dogs are currently acting as foot warmers which is fine with me. I'm still freezing. DD#4 went through kalispell to see the new guy, so she stopped and got me some more Bcomplex and amino acids. The doc was a sweetheart and gave me a $20 discount so it isn't costing as much. I was going to go to my local pharmacy and just to the Bcomplex. I still think I will and substitue just it for half the doses.

Well, the puppies just had a dog fight on my lap. That rarely happens, so what the heck is that all about? Poor Simon got pinned by the other two and he was crying like crazy. Threw them all on the floor so they could work it out. Now Simon is doing the poor me. I sure hope this isn't what the whole weekend is going to be like. grrrr.

Being a woosie and hiding out in a partially dim house because I can't face the Schwan's man to tell him I can't afford Schwan's for awhile. Left him a note on the door, cold I know, but I'm a chicken and I know I'll cry if I have to tell him to his face. He is a sweetheart and will totally understand, but I'm just a big chicken.< /p>

Thanks for the addresses. Now I have to send cards. I don't think I've mailed cards for 20 years. Just shows you how few friends I have.

GF HUGS HUGS HUGS !!! Pple don't send cards like they use to - I use to get them - but those days are sorta gone - it's all email and I thought Xmas cards in the mail would be a nice thing - instead of bills and discount stuff that we can't afford anyway..

We all are cutting back - I got most of my gifts at Target Marshall's & Ross - it's not about the cost it's about the thought behind it.. I have an Xmas club savings account - so every Nov I have Xmas $$

I'm like you - I would have left a note too - I did tell my trainer that cuz of the furloughs I might have to quit - so he lowered my fee - he rather lose a little be than all of it :0) so you could have just ordered your fudgesicles ;0)

Angel fights bear about their treats - sometime Angel is up on the couch w/me and bear comes by and she will snap at him..

You have friends - You have us - I am so glad Steph brought you to us...