Lucky #7 are still going strong !!!

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Man this year has been a difficult one and we are still in the first month! Janet, prayers for you BIL, Phyl for you beading friends, it is always easy to over correct in a different vehicle.

No I didn't kill anyone, but it is difficult to forgive yourself for what happeed when you know that given a 2nds chance you wouldn't change anything. Just silly romance novel stuff.

ANYWAY, Janet, I wish I was a good writer. I could be your ghost writer. But I love the idea of you going back to school to becaome a personal trainer/nutritionist. Check it out. You would be truely fabulouse. A Nazi, yes, but you have the history to support your perspective. There would be so many peoples' lives you could impact. THINK ABOUT IT!!!

Phyl enjoy your weekend, but I am sure you will miss Zoey!

Candice, what are your plans for the day?

I won't be checking in until tonight. Have a school observation to do so will be gone all day. Meeting up with one of the other teachers in Missoula before we go, I taught with her years ago. She is the most beautiful young lady, in her late 20's. Unfortunately she just found out her husband has been addicted to pain medication for over 10 years and it is tearing her marriage apart. My heart breaks for her. Such a good teacher and person, she deserves happiness.

[peaches9 3]

Good Morning Gang..

Karla girl - you better listen to us - or you are going to get gang jumped... GOD LOVES YOU - GOD FORGIVES EVERYTHING NO MATTER WHAT.. AS LONG A YOU ARE TRULY SORRY... I don't know what you did or didn't do but Girl - I don't think you murdered anyone - so chill that stupid church was the kind that give churches bad names - you know the kind that they have to vote you in - - You are a sweet and good lady - hell we all have done one thing or another that we aren't proud of... I know I have - but I know God loves me - and I'm not going to hell- and neither are you

LOL on me writing a book - we all could write that book - but I am far from a writer - I'm not wordy enough - I am short and to the point - but I would love to be a trainer to older pple and obese pple - cuz I have been there and I understand - totally agree with you that trainers don't get it - I know mine doesn't - My uncle really wants me to be a trainer - if Idirse ever does open a gym - he would get me certified and I would be a trainer for the 50 plus pple and chubby girls... I am passionate about this whole weight loss stuff and exercise - so if I every get to retire - I may go back to school get certified as a nutritionist and change my occupation ;0)

Ya, I totally support your Career realignment too... You would be an awesome personal trainer JANETS JAZZERSIZE CLASSES... gee I`d wanna sign up!! And yes you could write a book too... we`d all be there to edit it for you, don`t let the spelling thing throw you off tract... Spelling can be fixed!! `Lapband Mamma tells all!`` could be another title.

WTG on shopping !!!! Deals & Sizes..

Phyl have fun on your trip - Ya I would be pissed too... Hugs - I guess they aren't very good friends are they.... We love you.. I bet you have a hay day w/my spelling - I fix words sometimes - sometime - I just don't care as you all understand what I am saying

Candice Loved our quick chat last night - Diane though you were beautiful !!! She said how pretty you were..

Ah, that is so sweet.,.. yup it was a good makeup day!! LOL.... I look just like an ``old boot ``with out all the cosmetics!! Ha,ha,ha... I am glad my eyes are good enough I can still draw a straight line over my EYElid... Thank Diane.... I love being pumped up....

Well I got some really bad news last night - You know how we have been talking about ulgy cancer ... Well my BIL - has prostrate cancer and had a bone scan - they think it may have spread - they can't operate on his prostrate - he's going for radiation - on Thursday they will find out if it has spread..

Sorry to be debbie downer - but I love my BIL - Buddy is a good guy - bought his self up from nothing to working as a manager for the state of ca - he's been so good to my sis and her kids and he's been good w/the whole family - he's a great mediator he is very skilled at that - he has tons of common sense..

Oh my gosh, you are not a Debbie Downer... it just seems like this Jan. there is a lot of critical news in peoples family`s... now yours... Buddy may be able to have Prostate surgery once they have shrunk the tumor with radiation. I hope that will be the case. This is the BIL that is married to your sister with lung disease? am I remembering correctly?

Yes, we are gonna have to have a PRAYER SKYPE for all these people in our lives right now that need healing.

Man this year has been a difficult one and we are still in the first month! Janet, prayers for you BIL, Phyl for you beading friends, it is always easy to over correct in a different vehicle.

No I didn't kill anyone, but it is difficult to forgive yourself for what happeed when you know that given a 2nds chance you wouldn't change anything. Just silly romance novel stuff.

Hey, GF its not SILLY if it is still something that troubles your heart.

ANYWAY, Janet, I wish I was a good writer. I could be your ghost writer. But I love the idea of you going back to school to becaome a personal trainer/nutritionist. Check it out. You would be truely fabulouse. A Nazi, yes, but you have the history to support your perspective. There would be so many peoples' lives you could impact. THINK ABOUT IT!!!

Phyl enjoy your weekend, but I am sure you will miss Zoey!

Phyl, you will have such a fab time... enjoy! and bring yourself back some goodies from Mexico... Zoey will be fine.

Candice, what are your plans for the day? My Plans? Well, had to fast last night for Blood work today.. full panel in preparation for my Annual Phys in a week... Did an Ekg... man it was freezing in there with my BOOBs exposed!!! Good news, I was down another POUND this a.m. yeah!!! probably dehydration... but I don`t care I am taking the Wloss.... whoo-hoo... now down below my preholiday weight... I am on a roll today!!

So when I got home from labs... got onto the phone and booked our jazz trio some more dates... all the way into August!!! I got 12 bookings CONFIRMED! So excited, I was on a roll and c ouldn`t seem to get turned down by anyone that I spoke too. I have still 3 phone backs that I am expecting, so numbers may go higher...

I won't be checking in until tonight. Have a school observation to do so will be gone all day. Meeting up with one of the other teachers in Missoula before we go, I taught with her years ago. She is the most beautiful young lady, in her late 20's. Unfortunately she just found out her husband has been addicted to pain medication for over 10 years and it is tearing her marriage apart. My heart breaks for her. Such a good teacher and person, she deserves happiness.

Karla, I thought you were supposed to be RESTING for 3 days?? Did I miss something???

Stephie girl, you are quiet today... waz up

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Oh, yeah, I WAS suppose to be resting for 3 days, the doc just didn't say 'which' 3 days! Yeah I know, but I have done everything that needs to be done for a couple of days. Alexa is naggin me to get the taxes done so she can finish her school funding application. So ONCE I finish my homework, I'll get the tax stuff organized. I hate tax stuff. Normally I get a pretty good refund, but this year I am just hoping I don't have to pay. AND Yes I am sitting here with my hot pack and cup of tea, (a latte sounds better).

CRAPP, CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, just got a call from my sister and I guess mom doesn't sound good. Almost like she is over taking her pain medication. a;ku;lgkhas;ldgkfha;sjfda; kljd;aslkfj;ls kjg ;

Okay I kind of feel better. DD#3 stopped at mom's on her way home from work and so my sister is calling her to find out what is going on. Fortunately it sounds like my sister can get up there tomorrow from her 'winter' home. I'll let you know when I hear back. I think I want to just 'check out' of the world for a little while.

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Got a call back from my sister, I guess the drs have mom on a really high dose of morphine. So they have a call into a different doc and he is writing a prescription for a lower dose. Mom was evidently not coherent when my sister called. But DD#3 says they are doing okay. 'Calgon, take me away!'

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I just want to say that I hate food, I hate that it controls me, climbs down my throat, talks to me. I HATE IT!! I have worked too darn hard for me to go back to a glutton, but I'm loosing the battle, it is winning! and i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang....

Phyl's in AZ at rock show... Zoey w/babysitter ;0)

Candice WTG on your gigs & down a pound - yep take it anyway you can !!!

Karla - did you get a fill or did you just eat the wrong food - I'm swollen this a.m. rings are tight - I need to be good on Water - they gave your mom morphine for at home - that's a little strong - I thought they only gave that for home use when you have cancer - that's a class 3 narc - and it will cause problems - Hugs & Prayers - how far is she from you..

Not much to report - legs last night the had to go to store - kids will be here tonite - had to stock the house for their visits - hell $172 for not much - grapes - oranges - not to much junk no candy - salimi for Joseph fruit for the girls .. Came home put it all up - vacuumed mopped and watch most of Idol - think I have about 30 min left - but had to go to bed - slept like a log..

Well off to the shower - will ck back later

Hugs & Love

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Lapband crashed this morning and I lost my post, probably a good thing because I was WAY negative. Janet the jist of everything is that while I now have my fill, I fell back into some bad habits this last month. Primarily eating sugar and carbs and little Protein. We all know how addictive that can be. Things came to a head at 2 a.m. when I found myself eating veggi chips in bed. I had a horrid blood sugar crash, similar to when my insulin resistance was in full force. The shakes, everything, and I fed it. Yesterday I consumed an ENTIRE bag of veggi chips, a HUGE strawberry milkshake (I'm suppose to be on liquids and I was on a restraunt, so what the hell). Why are they in my house, good question, why did I order that shake and eat every darn drop. I thought I had all my food addictions under control and that I could have a bag of lunch treats. Well, as we all know adicts can NOT have anything like that around. I would have eaten myself to a vomit if I hadn't fallen asleep. No excuses, just sick with myself. I seem to have lost the 'big' picture of being healthy. Lack of exercise is part of that, but I am wondering why I even bother. I know that is the sugar and carbs talking, but none the less I am not proud of myself.

All that being said, I have had 3 cups of tea and 1/2 c of oatmeal. I am planning my meals and hopefully will get the sugar and carbs out of my system. The next few days will be hell. But hopefully I will emerge on the otherside a better person with better control.

[cramerk 1]

lunch today:

1 1/2 oz. of cheese

1 apple

6 wheat thins

[peaches9 3]

lunch today:

1 1/2 oz. of cheese

1 apple

6 wheat thins

Well that sounds like `back on track` to me!!! Good stuff.... just take it a MEAL at a time... no guilt, no shame... just do it one bit at a time. You can regain your control, you did it before... you`ll do it again..

Thats why friends are so important... when `WE`loose perspective someone else can see things clearly... THANK GOD FOR THAT

[peaches9 3]

_{what are you eating for SUPPER?? Pretend that whatever you are eating you are Eating in FRONT OF US here on LB.... is it food that you would be proud to share??? If not, don`t eat it}

[salsa1877 10]

If this posts it will be the third or fourth time that I have typed this out but I have just deleted it every time. I'm not sure if this is where I should be or not. Last time I posted, I will honestly say that I when I read what people had to say, I told Steph that I would never come here again. But at this point I have no place to turn and I have hit rock bottom. After having a minimal fill for almost a year, gaining 50 pounds, and having some pain with my band I finally found a doctor in Texas that would take on an already banded patient. When I went in today, I found out that the reason that I have been so hungry and have been gaining weight so rapidly was because my band has slipped. The doctor here said it is a fairly major slip and that he recommends that I have the band removed as quickly as possible with a revision to gastric sleeve. They completely unfilled my band and I am on liquids for two weeks. Lee and I are considering Mexico as that is all that I can afford. The doctor of course was completely against that decision, but I have done a lot of research. I really don't know what I should do. We can't afford it right now without using EVERY dime in our savings. I am waiting to see what is going to happen next year as far as my job goes (though that is something that I will NEVER discuss on this board again). I just wanted to let you know what is going on with me. I would like to start coming back here more, but I can't really handle any "tough love" or judgements right now. I just need to be around friends that might be able to understand a little what I am going through. Right now I feel very alone. Lee is doing his best but he just doesn't get it.

Karri

[IndioGirl55 32]

Karla

Gf you will never ever have your addiction under control... I have thought the same damn thing - I would go to costco - but the trail mix (for the m&m) well when I had eaten 2 cup in one nite - guess where the bag went - When I buy Peanut Butter and have 3 tables spoon - guess where the jar went - when I bought sf Cookies - ate 9 instead of the 3 for 130 cal - guess where those cookies ended up. Well I think you know they all ended up in the trash - I think I have control - I do as long as certain foods don't make it into my house - that's my control - I just don't buy stuff that I know I will eat too much and have to throw it away..

As far as restaurants - well eating out is a treat for me as I don't do it that often - so I pretty much eat whatever I want.. I would have order the milk shake too - heck I had ice cream for lunch last week - I did skip real food - but hell I don't even know the # of cal in that ice cream - I got a small cup but it was at least 600 cal I bet.. Well had lite dinner that night and made sure I hit the gym..

You are going to have to learn not to listen to that devil on your shoulder when you are in the grocery stores - he's telling you - awe go ahead and buy it - you can control it - Ya right - when those mid nite munchies hit - there is no such thing as control..

I bought Joseph some ice cream sandwiches - but I bought the store brand instead of fat boys - why cuz if I bought the fat boys I would have gotten into it - and stuff like that I normally can't eat just one - once I start on sugar - watch out - I will eat it till it's gone

I didn't buy him any candy either - why you might ask - cuz he is my son and likes the same candy I do - Choc & Nuts & Reese PB cups - if they had been here last night I would have eaten them - he asked when he got here today were's the candy - said I din't buy any - but I would get him some after work - so I got 6 in some valentine thingie - so if I do hit it tonite I can only have 1 candy bar - but doubt I will - I want bday cake. So I am saving myself for that

Karla - I started this an hour ago - kids came home (they went to see Andrew's apt) and they just finished eating and are in bed or taking showers ;0)

Ok where was I - When you are at the store - don't let that devil win - you have to exercise your gray matter - How I do this is I read the lables - I look at the calories per serving and the serving size - If I really like the item - Like Puff Cheetos - I KNOW that I will not stop at one serving or that I will be in the kitchen every 1/2 hr getting a handful - so those thing just don't make it into the shopping cart - I'm not a big chip eater so I can have potato chips and tosido's (sp) in the house - the bite size ones (their round) you can have like 24 chips for 140 cal - so I will count them out and after I have eaten them, I'm done - Candy - that too I look at the calories and say oh no 230 cal for 1 candy bar isn't worth giving up a meal..

I do on the weekend - about once a month or every 2 - buy a big reeses that has 600 cal - that will be my treat for the weekend - but I eat healthy the rest of the time - it's all about trade offs - making deals with yourself - OK so you had your shake - well now no more treats till next weekend - then allow yourself another milk shake or what ever you want..

Our lives are going to include treats - this isn't a diet - those things aren't out of our lives forever - we just can't do them every day - or every other day - Occassionally - it's like when I am on vacation - I have way more treats - but that's my deal w/me - I have them while away from home and at home (my safe haven) I eat healthy - But again I can tell you I have something sweet almost every nite be it a sf fudgecicle or pudding ...

So you know what you can and can't control - you know your weakness for certain foods - well those food you just don't buy.. You only allow those things occaissionally..

Well Brooke wants attention- so gotta go... cbl late

xoxoxo

I

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Candice, dinner was a Protein Drink. I'm suppose to be on mushies right now or so the new band doc says.

Janet, I know, but I got lazy. It is nice to know you plan weekly treats, I tend to do that, but was feeling guilty, which is silly since I was loosing weight. But we all play mind games.

I'm doing better tonight, I just need to get the sugar out of my system. Thanks everybody.

[IndioGirl55 32]

If this posts it will be the third or fourth time that I have typed this out but I have just deleted it every time. I'm not sure if this is where I should be or not. Last time I posted, I will honestly say that I when I read what people had to say, I told Steph that I would never come here again. But at this point I have no place to turn and I have hit rock bottom. After having a minimal fill for almost a year, gaining 50 pounds, and having some pain with my band I finally found a doctor in Texas that would take on an already banded patient. When I went in today, I found out that the reason that I have been so hungry and have been gaining weight so rapidly was because my band has slipped. The doctor here said it is a fairly major slip and that he recommends that I have the band removed as quickly as possible with a revision to gastric sleeve. They completely unfilled my band and I am on liquids for two weeks. Lee and I are considering Mexico as that is all that I can afford. The doctor of course was completely against that decision, but I have done a lot of research. I really don't know what I should do. We can't afford it right now without using EVERY dime in our savings. I am waiting to see what is going to happen next year as far as my job goes (though that is something that I will NEVER discuss on this board again). I just wanted to let you know what is going on with me. I would like to start coming back here more, but I can't really handle any "tough love" or judgements right now. I just need to be around friends that might be able to understand a little what I am going through. Right now I feel very alone. Lee is doing his best but he just doesn't get it.

Karri

Karri We love you - you are one of us... You came home cuz you have a problem and that's what we are is home.. Promise no tough love ;0)

Hugs on the slip - Of course the new doc doesn't want you to go to mexico - that's what all american doc's are going to say ;0) - But I know alot of pple who have gone - Little miss diva (irene) went - she went to the same doc as Wasa ... If I had to have a revision - my insurance wouldn't pay cuz of my bmi - I think they might replace the band - but not sure WLS is even covered under my Aetna policy..

We understand and we are here for you...

I have read that unfills sometimes make the band go back into place - Liquids for 2 weeks - ugh that's going to be tough - but you are strong and if you make your mind up - I know you can do it - cuz you are a strong woman.

[cramerk 1]

Karri, I went to Dr. Ortiz in TJ, Mexico and had a fabulous experience. They picked me up at the airport in San Diego, drove me across the border and to my hotel. Picked me up in the morning, took me to the clinic and got my band that day. I stayed the night, they took me back to the hotel that afternoon and I stayed there for another day. The only difficult time for me, but remember I am a hick from Montana, was that they can't drive you back through the border INTO the US, so they dropped me at the border, I walked across through customs, and they picked me up and took me back to the airport. The cost of the surgery included the transportation from and to the airport and the hotel. I would go back to him if I ever needed to have another procedure.

I lost my pound!!! Last night was difficult, but I made it through without eating the walls, I thought about it a couple of times. So I figure one more day of sugar withdrawl and it will be better!

Almost done with my homework for the week, yeah! Next week is easier, I hope. I have to start doing my literature review form my Capstone/thesis. Which means I have to choose a topic, that should be fun.....not.