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Steph, play is over rated! Now, am I here to entertain you or raise you??? As a parent, we are there to raise them. As kids, their job is to entertain themselves. Now I'm not saying that I never played with my kids, I did board games and such. But really, I think the swing has swung too far that says I am a lousy parent if I don't play dressup or blocks with my kids. Yes I did sit for the occassional tea party. I always stopped to admire my kid's lego creations and had them 'tell me all about it', and took them to the park and bike riding. But I was the parent that hired a babysitter to come in and dye Easter eggs. My kids enjoyed it more if I wasn't around, because they quickly learned, mom is not fun dyeing eggs. Yes it is important to have snuggleup parties with good books and Snacks, but it is a kid's job to be a kid and parent's job to be a parent!

Okay, you all can yell at me, but I really don't think we will damage a kid's psyche by not playing with them. Interaction is a must, but no says it has to be playing!

Wow, I gotta say I (lovingly) disagree. I think we MUST play with our children... Minimum 1 hour a day, and that dosn't include READING to them(which is a must as well) I used to love the freedom of being able to act/sing/dance like a complete NUT with my daughter and her friends... they'd laugh and giggle .... then when they got to the "rolling of the eyes at me" I knew they'd had enough "Mom" time and I'd bow out... but to this day my daughter says she loved all the silly songs I taught her, they are some of her fav. memories... stuf like "i'm a little teapot" but zanier.. I guess I learned all these goofy songs and games when I went to camp as a kid... God knows I didnt' learn any {playing stuff} from my MOM... Now my Dad on the other hand.... well we'd all be doing the family camping thing, my Dad would go off and find a Clay embankment on the beach, and come back an hour later with a COMPLETE CLAY mask on his face, with his arms in the air... making like a Frankenstien, chasing all us squeeling kids around the campsite... It really was a riot, but I am sure some of the other kids parents cocked their heads to the side (like a Jack Russell) and thought WTF???

Then there were all the car rides, ya know those insufferable trips your parents MADE you take? Well, we played games with my Dad for hours in the car... perhaps it was more for his sanity (and staying awake behind the wheel) than ours. But I can still remember those trips like they were yesterday.

Oh yeah, another time we drove to Niagra Falls, took our cat with us.... so this was usually an outdoor cat... So we found a cardboard box, filled it with some dirt for "KITTY" to use.. when we went to ck out of hotel... I was tasked with disposal... what did I know? I was a kid... so I plunked the contents into the toillet and flushed..... well, ya know what happened eh??? My Dad says" Holy crap, quick kids get into the car with the cat... we're checking out!"

now to this day I can still hear the laughter in that car... all the way down the highway... I guess we must have pd for the hotel in CASH ....

My Dad and I used to play the piano together and sing....then my sister'd join in...

There was also discipline too... my parents spanked on occasion, and of the 3 times I remember it... I TOTALLY deserved it... it was usually a crime of SAFETY... some rule for my own good that I ignored... so they were'nt totally leanient either. Once I got it for stabbing my sister in the back with a rubber knife.

I don't know why I got off on this family tangent... sorry, just ignore me...

Oh I found KETTLE CORN today!!! At Walmart, its pretty good, but I'd better not make it my favorite the calories are KILLERS.

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Well Janet, I imagine the difference is that you had both your parents and a husband. For those of use who were single, survival was the most important. But not a problem, the great thing about here, is that we can say what we think and we still care about each other. When I become a grandparent I hope that I have an opportunity to play with my grandkids. I probably did play with my kids for an hour or more each day, but there were times that coming home and feeding them and doing homework was all I can handle. But I then again my kids may well be screwed up as well. And we can agree to disagree.

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Wow, I gotta say I (lovingly) disagree. I think we MUST play with our children... Minimum 1 hour a day, and that dosn't include READING to them(which is a must as well) I used to love the freedom of being able to act/sing/dance like a complete NUT with my daughter and her friends... they'd laugh and giggle .... then when they got to the "rolling of the eyes at me" I knew they'd had enough "Mom" time and I'd bow out... but to this day my daughter says she loved all the silly songs I taught her, they are some of her fav. memories... stuf like "i'm a little teapot" but zanier.. I guess I learned all these goofy songs and games when I went to camp as a kid... God knows I didnt' learn any {playing stuff} from my MOM... Now my Dad on the other hand.... well we'd all be doing the family camping thing, my Dad would go off and find a Clay embankment on the beach, and come back an hour later with a COMPLETE CLAY mask on his face, with his arms in the air... making like a Frankenstien, chasing all us squeeling kids around the campsite... It really was a riot, but I am sure some of the other kids parents cocked their heads to the side (like a Jack Russell) and thought WTF???

Then there were all the car rides, ya know those insufferable trips your parents MADE you take? Well, we played games with my Dad for hours in the car... perhaps it was more for his sanity (and staying awake behind the wheel) than ours. But I can still remember those trips like they were yesterday.

Oh yeah, another time we drove to Niagra Falls, took our cat with us.... so this was usually an outdoor cat... So we found a cardboard box, filled it with some dirt for "KITTY" to use.. when we went to ck out of hotel... I was tasked with disposal... what did I know? I was a kid... so I plunked the contents into the toillet and flushed..... well, ya know what happened eh??? My Dad says" Holy crap, quick kids get into the car with the cat... we're checking out!"

now to this day I can still hear the laughter in that car... all the way down the highway... I guess we must have pd for the hotel in CASH ....

My Dad and I used to play the piano together and sing....then my sister'd join in...

There was also discipline too... my parents spanked on occasion, and of the 3 times I remember it... I TOTALLY deserved it... it was usually a crime of SAFETY... some rule for my own good that I ignored... so they were'nt totally leanient either. Once I got it for stabbing my sister in the back with a rubber knife.

I don't know why I got off on this family tangent... sorry, just ignore me...

Oh I found KETTLE CORN today!!! At Walmart, its pretty good, but I'd better not make it my favorite the calories are KILLERS.

I can remember fun times like that, too... both growing up and with our kids. Good memories! When we were kids, those horrific middle of the night thunderstorms... we'd all get up and go in the living room. My dad would play the piano and we'd all sing.

I taught our kids silly songs, too....sometimes one that i made up!

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I have determined the worst thing to happen. Waking up at 2 am to take miss molly potty and thinkin..."Man it's Saturday, I get to sleep in!" Then realizing it isn't Saturday, it Friday, and the Friday of Halloween.

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Hi ladies. Jeff came home sick yesterday when I was getting ready to sit down and type this, so I didn't get it done. I have a lot to say, so if you'ld rather no deal with it right now...don't worry. I'll never know the difference.

Therapy.... We started talking about attachment disorders. She seems to agree, after I described Michael's first few years, that it is entirely possible. Guess what....NO TEARS!! Yeah me. She said that there are definitely different ways of dealing with RAD kids (aka RADishes) that others with other attachment issues and that I need to talk with the people down there for more insight. She told me something that I'm going to need to keep in mind whenever I get down on myself about how things have gone. She said, she could have given me a different child, with the same set of circumstances and he would have bounced back without a problem. It is just a combination of a hard beginning and Michael's brain. She feels certain that if we did brain mapping we would see some misfires and crossed wires. So I need to remember that more than my parenting caused this and to keep it in perspective. It's NOT my fault. I can own that now.

Then we talked about me not knowing how to play. We talked a LOT about that. How it makes me feel, why I don't feel like I can let go, and then how to get started. We talked about what I DO right now, like reading, talking about Nick's day, snuggle time with the kids. Then we talked about what I've tried and why it doesn't work. Wii with Nick has not worked because I stress out when he doesn't do it "right". Coloring with the kids and Jai getting all upset about the colors I'm using which drives me crazy.

We talked about my anxiety about the "right" way to do things and how I overthink way too much. That I need to let go. She suggested being the follower. Let Jai tell me what to do. Play with the kids by doing exactly what they do. If Jaimi rocks her baby, I rock my baby. If she makes her baby talk, I do to, saying the same thing. I agree, I have to let go of that "not THAT way." feeling.

Jaimi and I are going to roll out sugar Cookies and use cookie cutters today. That will be my first test. Can I let the imperfect cookies be? Can I let her do it herself. Thinking about it makes my heart race, but I will do it. I have a rubber band around my wrist to snap anytime I catch myself telling Jaimi "not that way!".

She did say to not be so hard on myself. I do a lot of the right things right now. I should Celebrate the fact that I am playing with the kids. I am talking to the kids. I have a great realtionship with them. And then stop stressing out.

We then talked about how to reduce my anxiety. She gave me a cd of guided imagery for me. We did one in her office. It was good. Then last night I looked at some others, but don't know what I want to do about buying some. She gave me one for Nick for him and I to listen to at bedtime. We did one last night. OMG it was fun. He LOVED it. I slept better last night than I have in weeks. I think I need to do one before bed every night.

Okay...told you this was long. I learned so much. I just wanted to share. I'll be back later ladies. Love you all!

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Good Morning Gang

Karla - you must have Janet on the brain - when you responded to Candice post :0).. Yes I hate when I think it's the weekend and its not.

I don't remember my mom playing dolls with me but I have very good memories about easter eggs - xmas Cookies -

I remember my Dad playing jacks with me. And once kids get to a certain age they don't want parents around (pre-teen)

Since I had a boy we didn't play dolls - we played board games - cards - and I don't play marbles - I went to all his baseball games (heck would be the coach when he was in Tball and the real coach didn't show up) took him out of town on weekends to bmx bike races. I did alot of the right things with him and made mistakes too - but that's life...

Only GOD is PERFECT...

I think it's about your kids knowing that you love them unconditionally- that they know you are there for them and they feel safe - that's what it all boils down to.. It's not the quanity of time - it's the quality.

Steph Glad to hear that you got alot out of therapy yesterday - thats really good - yes I agree combindation of raising and brain. You can look at me and my 2 bro's we were raised the exact same but we are completely diff.

How old are Nick & Jami ???

I do eggs & xmas cookies w/kid and grandkids - I try and show them how to do it the "right" - but don't freak cuz they don't do it my way - how in the heck can a 5 yr old paint a cookie like a grownup who has been doing it for year - we just enjoy our time together..

Right now my house is a disaster area - but I don't care my family is here and it will all go back to normal once they go home - but I won't and don't let that interfer with our time together..

Last night took Brooke to Target to get coloring books for her and got her some clothes - enjoyed the time with just the 2 of us...

Phyl - Yes I'm ready for Cabazon - you will have a better selection - heck the purse that got stolen $300 for $100 - I don't know what the px prices are but you get good deals at the outlet - you will see a lot of orenitals and others with like 5 purse..

Let's plan on 11/13 - you should be in wonderland by then and if we go early on a friday we shouldn't have the crowds - the wait in that store on the weekend can be over 1 hour..

oK i gotta get to work - cbl Hugs gang...

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Hi--Finally had a few days to catch my breath. I did a little bit of reading here today and I'm so sorry that I can't keep up with you.

Steph--Therapy is hard work. I know a little about attachment disorders. Hugs to you, kiddo--it's not an easy thing to deal with. I am proud of how you're handling all of this--don't waste time wishing the past was different. It is what it is. Use your energy to deal with the present and know that hope springs eternal. I'm familiar with Beth Moore--did her study on Esther last summer. Never underestimate the power of prayer: The Creator of the Universe can deal with Michael in His own way and in His time. Keep your focus on Him and it will work out according to His perfect plan.

Candice--How are you and Peter and Twig and Megyn (I'm sorry, I think it's spelled differently, but no matter how I type it, it looks wrong) doing? Time for a road trip--maybe to enjoy an American Thanksgiving in Wisconsin?

Kari--one thing that helps me when I'm struggling with depression is to try to focus on other people. Volunteer at a local food pantry, offer to clean at a homeless shelter, label clothing at a resale shop. . . the list could be endless. There is a man in our church who could not go outside his home, but he learned to bake bread. Every week he'd bake a loaf or two and another retired man would deliver it along with a message to someone who was dealing with some kind of issue. The more you focus on other people, the less time you have to think about yourself and your problems, plus they don't seem so big compared to the things other people are dealing with. I know this time of year is rough--it is for me too. Find a place that has full sprectrum light therapy. You might even make a new friend or two.

Janet, Phyl--I miss your "can do" attitudes. I really do. I think Palm Springs just might happen. I'm thinking it might be the week of March 8-12-ish. I don't know what I need more: Sunshine and palm trees, or time with you guys?

Karla, Karri--I know I should pracitce what I preach, and to be honest, I do enjoy some down time. I hope I get to meet you guys sometime. I feel like I know Janet and Phyl and Steph and Candice so much better b/c we've actually met in the flesh. I don't mean to discount you guys in any way--I enjoy reading your posts and finding motivation in the way you deal with life's issues. It's just that in my small brain I have visual images and memories of the others. I HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT TO the next lucky 7 reunion!

Well, fall break is officially over. I'm going shopping with my daughter in Chicago tomorrow and Sunday, and back to work on Monday. It'll be a mad rush with a few days off in November to deal with Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Please email me if you can from time to time. It helps to know that you haven't forgotten me. I hope I can stay connected, but I haven't been doing a good job at that :sad:

Oh, yes, and thankyou all for the birthday wishes. It was a good day--made even better by the blessings of great friends like you.

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AWE LINDA !!!!

Great to see you stop by... Chicago - Miracle mile !!! Shopping - you lucky girl you !!! I have never been - but gf who have said it was fun..

Ya let me know and I will take a day off

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Dear Steph; Wow, you had a great session with that therapist... She REALLY sounds like she knows what she is doing too... Great point that LindaA made too... we can't change the past, we only have TODAY and the future... and also her suggestion to LET GO, and LET GOD... so true and even more important than therapy. ALthough, I think GOD works thru therapists too :-)

Linda; I sent you an email catching you up on WOODy... are you serious about WIsconcin at Thanksgiving???? Won't there be TONS of snow by then???

Phyl; YOur a nurse, what are you thinking about this H1N1??? I am so torn... I got an email from a cousin today (I fwrded it to all you gals) the Health minister of Finland... gosh now I'm thinking I WON"T get the vaccine... ack!!!! :sad:

Kari: HUGS GF... fall weather sucks in Michigan (its the same here ha,ha,) it does get to you... how about some walks in the rain??? Do you feel better out in the fresh air exercising??? I finally figured out that I DO NOT MELT~~~

Janet & Karla: Sorry you got blamed for my post:drool: I was just having a different point of view.... only my own experiences... Enjoy your company while they are there... ya you can always house clean after.... the dust bunnies are ALWAYS there.

You'd all have been laughing with me today. Peter and I drove into Barrie to visit my MOM... and take her some Halloween goodies... so Peter sits reading quietly while MOM and I chat... I decide that going thru her cupboards in the Bathroom are a good idea... cause they are jammed with stuff coming out of the drawers ... so packed that she has her hemeroid creams all over the top of the cupbourd in plan view of all visitors... (GROSS)

So I say," oh Mom lets go thru these drawers and throw out old, unused ( stale, rancid creams, stinky stuff ???) things?"....

Oh Gosh she would not let me toss anything until I passed it to her, she smelled it, tryed some on.... etc.... it was PAINFULL... Peter is sitting there killing himself laughing, and interjecting.. "Oh Chris, I am sure that Body Lotion is still fine!!!" Ya right... when a lotion de-emulsifies and the liquids inside the tube have separated.... its too freeking OLD...!!!!! Ugh! Gross, gross, gross... it reminded me of the time I had to clean out her fridge (when she still had her house) and I would toss out all the CONDIMENTS,,, ie the ketchup was BROWN and not RED anymore... you get the drift...:)

Anywyas, when I left there was one whole drawer EMPTY, I bet shelll have it filled again by the time I go and visit again... blecht:crying:

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Therapy.... We started talking about attachment disorders. She seems to agree, after I described Michael's first few years, that it is entirely possible. Guess what....NO TEARS!! Yeah me. She said that there are definitely different ways of dealing with RAD kids (aka RADishes) that others with other attachment issues and that I need to talk with the people down there for more insight. She told me something that I'm going to need to keep in mind whenever I get down on myself about how things have gone. She said, she could have given me a different child, with the same set of circumstances and he would have bounced back without a problem. It is just a combination of a hard beginning and Michael's brain. She feels certain that if we did brain mapping we would see some misfires and crossed wires. So I need to remember that more than my parenting caused this and to keep it in perspective. It's NOT my fault. I can own that now.

Then we talked about me not knowing how to play. We talked a LOT about that. How it makes me feel, why I don't feel like I can let go, and then how to get started. We talked about what I DO right now, like reading, talking about Nick's day, snuggle time with the kids. Then we talked about what I've tried and why it doesn't work. Wii with Nick has not worked because I stress out when he doesn't do it "right". Coloring with the kids and Jai getting all upset about the colors I'm using which drives me crazy.

We talked about my anxiety about the "right" way to do things and how I overthink way too much. That I need to let go. She suggested being the follower. Let Jai tell me what to do. Play with the kids by doing exactly what they do. If Jaimi rocks her baby, I rock my baby. If she makes her baby talk, I do to, saying the same thing. I agree, I have to let go of that "not THAT way." feeling.

Jaimi and I are going to roll out sugar Cookies and use cookie cutters today. That will be my first test. Can I let the imperfect cookies be? Can I let her do it herself. Thinking about it makes my heart race, but I will do it. I have a rubber band around my wrist to snap anytime I catch myself telling Jaimi "not that way!".

She did say to not be so hard on myself. I do a lot of the right things right now. I should Celebrate the fact that I am playing with the kids. I am talking to the kids. I have a great realtionship with them. And then stop stressing out.

We then talked about how to reduce my anxiety. She gave me a cd of guided imagery for me. We did one in her office. It was good. Then last night I looked at some others, but don't know what I want to do about buying some. She gave me one for Nick for him and I to listen to at bedtime. We did one last night. OMG it was fun. He LOVED it. I slept better last night than I have in weeks. I think I need to do one before bed every night.

Sounds like you had a very valuable session! That's great!

I think it's about your kids knowing that you love them unconditionally- that they know you are there for them and they feel safe - that's what it all boils down to.. It's not the quanity of time - it's the quality.

ABSOLUTELY!!

Phyl - Yes I'm ready for Cabazon - you will have a better selection - heck the purse that got stolen $300 for $100 - I don't know what the px prices are but you get good deals at the outlet - you will see a lot of orientals and others with like 5 purse.. Let's plan on 11/13 - you should be in wonderland by then and if we go early on a Friday we shouldn't have the crowds - the wait in that store on the weekend can be over 1 hour..oK i gotta get to work - cbl Hugs gang...

Okay... the 13th it is! Looking forward to it. Will have to skip Water aerobics to go early. Told Earl he can go... Or NOT! Thinking he'll opt for NOT. We can have dinner here... our place or restaurant, when we get back if you want. I know about the orientals! Hotel I'm recommending for all of you for next summer is about a mile from a HUGE outlet mall that also has a Coach store and there is usually a line outside the store waiting to get in because they only let so many in at a time! Unbelievable!! A lot of orientals vacation in the Pacific NW.

Hi--Finally had a few days to catch my breath. I did a little bit of reading here today and I'm so sorry that I can't keep up with you.

Steph--Therapy is hard work. I know a little about attachment disorders. Hugs to you, kiddo--it's not an easy thing to deal with. I am proud of how you're handling all of this--don't waste time wishing the past was different. It is what it is. Use your energy to deal with the present and know that hope springs eternal. I'm familiar with Beth Moore--did her study on Esther last summer. Never underestimate the power of prayer: The Creator of the Universe can deal with Michael in His own way and in His time. Keep your focus on Him and it will work out according to His perfect plan.

AMEN!!

Candice--How are you and Peter and Twig and Meghan (I'm sorry, I think it's spelled differently, but no matter how I type it, it looks wrong) doing? Time for a road trip--maybe to enjoy an American Thanksgiving in Wisconsin?

Kari--one thing that helps me when I'm struggling with depression is to try to focus on other people. Volunteer at a local food pantry, offer to clean at a homeless shelter, label clothing at a resale shop. . . the list could be endless. There is a man in our church who could not go outside his home, but he learned to bake bread. Every week he'd bake a loaf or two and another retired man would deliver it along with a message to someone who was dealing with some kind of issue. The more you focus on other people, the less time you have to think about yourself and your problems, plus they don't seem so big compared to the things other people are dealing with. I know this time of year is rough--it is for me too. Find a place that has full sprectrum light therapy. You might even make a new friend or two.

Good advice!

Janet, Phyl--I miss your "can do" attitudes. I really do. I think Palm Springs just might happen. I'm thinking it might be the week of March 8-12-ish. I don't know what I need more: Sunshine and palm trees, or time with you guys?

Karla, Karri--I know I should pracitce what I preach, and to be honest, I do enjoy some down time. I hope I get to meet you guys sometime. I feel like I know Janet and Phyl and Steph and Candice so much better b/c we've actually met in the flesh. I don't mean to discount you guys in any way--I enjoy reading your posts and finding motivation in the way you deal with life's issues. It's just that in my small brain I have visual images and memories of the others. I HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT TO the next lucky 7 reunion!

So glad you could stop by here!!

We know how very busy you are!!

I hope you can make it in March!! That would be GREAT!! You have to be here on either a Thursday night (Palm Springs street fair) or weekend... College of the Desert street fair!! We could shop til we drop!!

Dear Steph; Wow, you had a great session with that therapist... She REALLY sounds like she knows what she is doing too... Great point that LindaA made too... we can't change the past, we only have TODAY and the future... and also her suggestion to LET GO, and LET GOD... so true and even more important than therapy. ALthough, I think GOD works thru therapists too :-)

Some more excellent insight!

Linda; I sent you an email catching you up on WOODy... are you serious about Wisconsin at Thanksgiving???? Won't there be TONS of snow by then???

You're from Ontario!!

You can deal with a little snow!! LOL!

Phyl; YOur a nurse, what are you thinking about this H1N1??? I am so torn... I got an email from a cousin today (I fwrded it to all you gals) the Health minister of Finland... gosh now I'm thinking I WON"T get the vaccine... ack!!!! :Yawn:

Well, we're too OLD to get the vaccine!! But, if I had the choice, I would probably get it! What do you think, Linda???

You'd all have been laughing with me today. Peter and I drove into Barrie to visit my MOM... and take her some Halloween goodies... so Peter sits reading quietly while MOM and I chat... I decide that going thru her cupboards in the Bathroom are a good idea... cause they are jammed with stuff coming out of the drawers ... so packed that she has her hemeroid creams all over the top of the cupbourd in plan view of all visitors... (GROSS)

So I say," oh Mom lets go thru these drawers and throw out old, unused ( stale, rancid creams, stinky stuff ???) things?"....

Oh Gosh she would not let me toss anything until I passed it to her, she smelled it, tried some on.... etc.... it was PAINFUL... Peter is sitting there killing himself laughing, and interjecting.. "Oh Chris, I am sure that Body Lotion is still fine!!!" Ya right... when a lotion de-emulsifies and the liquids inside the tube have separated.... its too freeking OLD...!!!!! Ugh! Gross, gross, gross... it reminded me of the time I had to clean out her fridge (when she still had her house) and I would toss out all the CONDIMENTS,,, ie the ketchup was BROWN and not RED anymore... you get the drift...:laugh: Anyways, when I left there was one whole drawer EMPTY, I bet shelll have it filled again by the time I go and visit again... blecht:crying:

TOO FUNNY!!

I had a GREAT day today! Water aerobics was good... worked hard. Then hot tub, then shower.... probably wrong order, but then I went on the bike again for 15 minutes. Changed to a more challenging program that worked me out HARD! Then lunch and in to DesertHot Springs becuase apparently I picked up a screw in a NEW tire when I went shopping by myself the otehr day. At least, I got blamed for it!! LOL! So went shopping again and got two blouses and another bathing suit. With two suits I have one less excuse for not going to the hot tub/pool with Earl at night!! That's sometiems my only alone time ALL day!! But it's a pretty brown and gold and I really like it. So guess I'm going to the pool in a little while!!

Anyways, after that, it was time for our first choir practice, so I had Ealrl drop me off at the chapel. Told him I'd either walk home or hitch a ride. Well, theonly person I could've hitched a ride with stoped to tell myhow good it was to see my walking, so I couldn't ask her to take me home!! So I walked all the way.. i think it's at least 1/2 mile. So, BOY, did I get my exercise in today!!

Earl grilled me a lamb chop outside for dinner. I have some great mint sauce from Albertson's that I put on it. Had some broccoli with it, a little queso on top. But now I think I may lose some of it!! Feel about ready to pb!! Yuck!!

Going to the pool and hot tub!

BYE!!

Hoping I don't barf in the water!!

LOL

36_19_7.gif

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Ya Phyl, I hope you don't barf in the Water either!!! ha,ha,ha..

You are really getting your exercise in, I wish I had a 1/4 of your motivation. You are awesome.

Peter's outside blowing leaves... I should go out and help him but....Its cold and wet out there blecht!

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Ya Phyl, I hope you don't barf in the Water either!!! ha,ha,ha..

You are really getting your exercise in, I wish I had a 1/4 of your motivation. You are awesome.

Peter's outside blowing leaves... I should go out and help him but....Its cold and wet out there blecht!

Didn't barf in the pool, but was up half the night doing that! I slimed, pb'd and just plain barfed from about 7 pm - 1 am! Lamb chop apparently wasn't a good thing. Sure tasted good. It was 3-4 oz and I had broccoli with it.. which I mashed up and Earl put a little queso on top. I chewed really good. BUt.... got stuck anyway and it was a miserable night. Lesson learned!

Nice sunny day here... 61 at 8:40 a.m. Don't know what that is Celsius!

Hope you all have a great day!

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Slept in this morning, didn't get up until 10 am, really late for me. I guess it was a long week.

The docs extracted 1 liter of Fluid for dad's lung that has cancer. They will test to determine if the fluid is cancer or just fluid. If it is not cancer they can go in and extract it every couple of week. Now that the fluid is out, dad is feeling much better and able to walk again. Monday he goes in to have a PET scan to determine if the cancer has spread to any other systems. That will be the real prognosis. Dad can not have any more chemo or radiation because of the heart damage that the last round did. We are going to ask if dad can get the experimental drug and he was in the study for. We are guessing that he did not get the test drug when he was in the study, because he has gotten worse, while many people who had the drug saw improvement. I think it is a long shot, but it is worth asking.

I'm checking into another job to suppliment the income. I'm hoping to work at Starbucks during the holidays. One of the teachers has a friend that manages the store in Missoula and is going to talk to them about me. It is a 45 minute drive one way, but I need to figure a way to pay bills. That will give me 4 jobs plus my master's program, but I have too many medical bills. Loosing weight has helped me get my prescriptions bill down to $60 a month, instead of $200 a month (I don't have prescription coverage.) I don't have a life now, so being busier won't really make a difference.

My sister just had her 57th birthday and regaled me with all the nice things her husband did for her. I guess it doesn't pay to be the 'nice' girl. My sister's nickname in high school was 'Linda Love-Lace' and she earned it. She was the 'other woman' with her husband as well as many others. He later left his wife and 3 kids to marry her. So now she lives the 'easy' life. Biggest decision is how to decorate one of her 3 houses. I know, I'm being bitchy, and guess what, I really don't care.

Sorry if I offended anyone with my comments about parenting and play. I guess I don't have the experiences that go with a 'normal' life style. Never really had parents that cared and probably wasn't the best parent myself. You all are lucky to have fond memories, I don't. I also don't relate to most of your life styles that are filled with something other than stuggling. I imagine I really ticked someone off in a previous life. Probably have a healthy dose of envy for my sister & brother & pretty much everyone else. I'm tired of it all, I continue because that's what mothers do. Sorry I'm such a downer, I'm just tired, really really tired.

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Well, it has been 5 weeks since the total knee replacement surgery and sometimes I second guess it. OMG, that was sooo painful, I thought why did I do this. I hope I get to the point were everyone says oh, I'm so happy I did this. I can only walk around for about 20 minutes and the whole leg tightens up. I need to sit down then and rest. The trick or treaters will have to bear with me, lol.

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Well, it has been 5 weeks since the total knee replacement surgery and sometimes I second guess it. OMG, that was sooo painful, I thought why did I do this. I hope I get to the point were everyone says oh, I'm so happy I did this. I can only walk around for about 20 minutes and the whole leg tightens up. I need to sit down then and rest. The trick or treaters will have to bear with me, lol.

My knee replacement was Aug. 25th.. a little over 2 mos., and I couldn't be happier. I can walk for an hour or more, longer with a little rest. Since we got to the RV park we stay in for the winter I've been doing Water aerobics every morning (one week now), and 3X this past week worked out on stationary bike for 15 minutes. It has really made my legs stronger already in just a few days time.

Hope you start to see a major improvement in tolerance and healing very soon.

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