Lucky #7 are still going strong !!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Steph

I had to look up attachment disorder - and now that I have this usually applies to kids who didn't bond with parents - like the ones in ophranages - druggie parents etc..

Since this isn't the case with Michael - how can they say this.. If I remember right you were a young mom so I assume that you were home w/him for a good long while and they you didn't have him off with the babysitter 24/7

I assume you have gooled this - I saw on fb that you weren't finding alot of info in your liberary.

Just cuz he sat there staring into the air - and not talking doesn't mean all that much - he's a teenager for gosh sakes - we all hate our parents and are total buttheads at 15 - I remember not coming home one nite - my Mom thought I was dead - my dad figured it was cuz of mom's drinking - it was really cuz I got in fight w/joseph's daddy and didn't want to go until we made up.. Anyway - I had to go to the police station - my mom was there - oh my baby baby - then we sat talking to some cop - who was telling me my bf was no go - I sat there filing my nails with that look on my face - I didn't give a crap what they said - I knew it all at 15.. I am sure glad they didn't have all those names for teenage disorders back in my day.

Unless they do an mri/ct scan of his brain - they can't give you a definative answer as to that's what his issue are..

Physobabble - Just cuz they are dr's dont' think they are alwasy 100% right - they make errors too..

Dr Janet thinks he's just being a butthead teenager - he knows how to push your buttons. Ya he may have some issue as to how he was raised -but don't we all - I know you go issues with your mom - I had mine with mine - we all do - there is no such thing as a perfect parent - what pple have to do is to learn that they can't blame their whole lives on the past - pull up the boot straps and move forward..

Hugs - I know you keep blaming yourself - you did and are doing the best you can - look you at what you have done right now - you have him in a facality to help him..

Give yourself a break !!!! Hugs Hugs Hugs

[Twilight 2]

Janet, actually the story of Michael's first few years reads like a story of RAD kid. No abuse, but lots of neglect.

Michael's dad was/is an alcoholic ass. When we had Michael, I was back to work within 2 weeks because I was out of unemployment benefits. He didn't work and his two older daughters were living with us. it was up to me to cover expenses. I was working an average of 120 hours a week. Scott didn't believe it was his place to "babysit" so Michael had to be in daycare. Except we couldn't afford that but the neighbor woman was home on disability so she watched him. Problem, she was deaf. When I was home I was either sleeping or trying to cope smoking pot. I was hanging by a thread, honestly. At 6 months, my parents came out to Missouri, said "Get your toothbrush, your formula, and get in the car." I did. I can't say much about the next 3 months. I ate, I slept, I roamed around the house, I know I tried to be a mom but I was clueless. After 3 months I sort of snapped out of it. I got a job, went back to school. This was at the time that they started putting time limits on welfare. I had 18 months, period. I went to school, worked when I could, and got my degree. There really wasn't a lot of time for my son.

I did what I could. I did the BEST I could. I'm over the guilt, for today. But...what I'm reading about RAD. He's all over that! He has all of the symptoms. I started with just attachment theory. There are 4 types. He was a type 3 baby. Ambivalent/resistant. Yesterday I felt like I had broken my kid. Today, I still feel that way but now, it's a matter of how to make lemonade out of these lemons. It's not hopeless. I have to continue to be strong. Some days I don't have that strength. Today I do.

There isn't a book in town on RAD, but my niece, who is in college, gave me her user name and password to invade her college library and read some online books. There are a few I can order. I'm going to wait until after next week when I go to YBGR. Hoping they can give me some resources to look at.

Hope that helps. Thanks for the love Janet. I love you so much!

[cramerk 1]

Steph, if you need another resource let me know and I'll email you my ID & pin # for UM and you can invade their library as well.

Home with a Migraine. I finally figured out that my students don't know how to read a science book. They just don't know how to transfer their reading a novel skills to reading a science book. So we are stopping curriculum and learning how to read a science book. An example, we are on the 1st page of the reading and I ask the students what is the phrase at the top of the page called (a title) then had no clue, 10 minutes later they still have no clue, so I say, "Okay, if this was a novel what would the phase be called?" Still no clue. After 20 I finally said it is a title. Next question..."What does a title tell us about the section?" 15 minutes later their still don't get that the title is like a main idea. At the end of 45 minutes we had read one paragraph....That's when the migraine started. So tomorrow is a new day, I will NOT get angry, I will NOT grumble, I will smile and say encouraging words and Celebrate when they get a small thing right and then I'm going to drink!

Remember my 'favorite student' last year. I just hear from a teacher friend in Missoula, the kid just transfer to her school AND to her class. I'm thinking she needs a care package: alcohol to ease the stress, gum, to keep from chewing his head off, and facepaint to paint on a smile when the parents come in and say that she is being unfair because after all their son is perfect

Going to take a shower, eat some left overs, figure out how to run my new expresso machine and about 6 tylenol to ease that head.

Kari...check your meds. Also check into a full spectrum light or go sit in a tanning bed. Also take some Vitamin D, it helps will stress.

Steph, right back at you...you can handle this, I think Michael is playing you a bit. But he could well have attachment issues. Stop beating yourself up, you had to work to feed him, no one is perfect. Work on changing what you can, live with what you can't, and be wise enough to know the difference.

[jackie506 1]

Evening everyone.

Steph I am with the others. You did your best. You were young (as was I) and we did what we could. Believe me there are lots of things I would like to change but can't. Only thing we can do is worry about the here and now. Hugs!!

Karla-sorry you have a Migraine. Those suck! Rest and relax. I know next to almost impossible huh?

Janet-I have to tell you how much I personally appreciate that you are so straight forward and honest with me when I need it like you were with Steph. Thank you for that!

Ok day for me....not so much for the kids. Austins strep throat is getting worse so they changed his meds......Courtney is running almost 102 temp, sore throat, coughing....all the crap I had last week and dr thinks she has the flu. Damn I don't want it back!! I went to town and got more 'sick fluids' and crap for everyone. Gonna care for them from a distance and I have a face mask (we have protective kits from work) so I will be wearing that. I know sounds a little anal but I still have the cough and slight sore throat so I am taking NO chances. Bought 3 cans of Lysol tonight so gonna spray spray spray and keep things decontaminated as much as possible! I swear once the crap gets in the house it is so hard to get rid of! Problem is there is soooo much crud going around besides the flu.

Anyway I am off to go watch some tv. Make Mrs Gordman's fish and a small baked potato for supper. Fish wasn't cooked through and after it was I just couldn't put it in my mouth to eat it. The thought of the half cooked bite earlier makes me gag! LOL So I ate the potato. Not the best meal I have had. I seriously really really want a chunk of steak but don't like cooking it in the house and sure not gonna stand outside and bbQ it. To wet and cold.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Evening Ladies

I am back from my new gym - it has better equipment - but I don't know if I am going to like it - I took some tylenol before I went - I have felt crappy all day long - Andrew has a cold - I hope I am not getting it - took my airborne this morning

Joseph and family are here - Kaitlin is at gf house - Brooke is playing my wii resort - Joseph watching baseball - melissa reading a magizine (yes before me :0) and I am on the computer

Steph - Ok things weren't perfect - like Karla said "I think Michael is playing you a bit. But he could well have attachment issues. Stop beating yourself up, you had to work to feed him, no one is perfect. Work on changing what you can, live with what you can't, and be wise enough to know the difference."

and Jackie said Believe me there are lots of things I would like to change but can't. Only thing we can do is worry about the here and now. Hugs!!

This is great advice - and truly from the little I read they gotta do a scan of the brain to see if it's true..

I was 16 when I had Joseph - hell we all did things that we think back on and shouldn't have. But I will tell you one thing I never felt that it was my fault for the choices he made - my boss asked once after he got busted for selling drugs (he was 16.5) did I think it was cuz I was a single parent - I said no - even kids from 2 parent families get in trouble..

We are here for you - We love you and will support you thru these times - that's what gf's do...

Jackie - Thanks - I am a straight talking person - and what you guys are going thru right now - I have been there done it - benefit of age - looking back on your life and understanding the mistakes you have made...

Karla - you can drink espersso and sleep tonite ?? I had a cup of coffee around 3 and I don't know if I will sleep well tonite - I am not tired at all right now..

Well, going to go visit with family - I will talk with you all tomorrow - Hugs & Love & Prayers for all my girls..

[cramerk 1]

Janet, yep I can drink espresso at night as long as I finish by 7 p.m. But remember I am in a drug induced sleep. I've always had sleep issues, even as a kid. I just don't sleep well. Without drugs, I sleep for about an hour and then I wonder the house for 2 hours, usually eating, then doze for a couple of hours. My sleep study showed that I never go into REM sleep. So at about 8:30 I take a couple of amytripaline and by 10 pm I sleep like a baby. I didn't drink coffee for years, but I didn't sleep any better. I'm telling myself I love my new espresso machine, but right now I really hate it. Can't seem to make foam without Water coming out of the frother. So I'll play with it some more and if I don't figure it out, I'll send it back. It has a 30 day, unconditional warrenty. I read all the reviews and this one is suppose to be the best for my low price range. The espresso is very smooth and has lots of creme, but the frother has me beat right now, and what's a latte without a good froth.

Went to bed at about 9pm last night, was really tired. Just feeling mentally drained. Oh well, it has been a heck of a month. I will be glad when Nov. comes just to 'turn' the calendar and get a fresh start. Dad has his Fluid 'extraction' today on his lung. I don't know if they will give dad his results in whether the fluid is cancer cells or not. If it is...well dad will be heading rapidly towards the end.

Phyl, you are going to be so fit and skinny by the time I meet you, I won't even know who you are. Keep workin it girl. Very proud of you.

Well, have a parent meeting tonight that is really going to be uncomfortable, bleck. This is the kid that lies to me all the time. Yesterday the parent sent an email that TOLD us what we will do to modify things for their child. AND no this child is not special ed. I finally told my admin. that we should just give the kid a 'B' and not waste time, because that is basically what the parent wants. If the parent doesn't reallize the kid is playing them and doesn't mind handicapping their kid for its entire life why should I? Yeah I talk big.

On a positive note...no Snacks last night. Red Beans & rice with turkey sausage and cumin. Pretty tasty and had a reasonable portion. I'm sure it qualified as a slider because I didn't stick on it. But it did keep me full until I went to bed. So anyother recipe added to the arsenal of foods that work.

[Twilight 2]

Good morning girls. Hope you all slept well. I did, but it was the nyquil doing the snoring. Jai is having nightmares. Don't know what that is about but she can't seem to sleep more than a couple of hours. I just don't know what I can do for her to make it better. Maybe just a phase she has to get through. It makes sleeping for me difficult though. Jeff doesn't wake up much and goes right back to snoring within seconds. I'm awake for a half hour at least.

Anyways, I'm off to Williston today for parental therapy. I have 2 big things to talk to her about. RAD and my inability to "play". I think this is really going to be important for me with all the kids. I need to be able to play with the little ones and just PLAY and I need to be able to talk to my older one. I just don't relate to the kids. So those are my two big ones.

Okay. Have to get Jai off to daycare. Talk to you all later today. Hugs.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning Gang...

Karla - I sorta sleep like that - I fall asleep then wake up an hr later - eat something (most of the time or drink juice) go right back to sleep again - and then wake up at least once more during the nite - For me to fall asleep and sleep right thru the nite is rare - I have some xanax and something else (doc just gave samples) I take them every now and then - Its funny I can be dead tired falling a sleep on the couch go to bed and toss and turn - I think the night I came home from TX I took the sleeping pill at 8:30 - and at 11 was still awake - I think I need something stronger - I might be small -but I think I have a strong restance to drugs :0) must go back to the day :0).

The stupid smoke alarms batteries had to get changed last night they kept going off - I can't remember if it was last yr or the yr before that at midnite I was at Winco buying batteries as the stupid things kept going off - last night at 9 they started so Joseph went and got batteries and replace them I have 6 and it's a pain to replace the batteries - well at least its done for another yr.

I get latte's at SB sometimes (when its cold) the whole froth thing is no biggie to me - I am a sweetnlow - sf Creamer girl.

I agree with you about the kid - hell I know we all think our kids are special - but I would never demand that the school make an exception for my kid - I guess I know that's not possible - Hell give him a c+ and leave it at that :0)

Steph - Therapy is good - You just don't know how to turn off the serious button - Let us know how it goes. I'm interested in what they have to say - I don't know if I play with mine - I know I like to make things with them - like Cookies at xmas - play in the pool - but don't remember like playing dolls with Kaitlin - but heck kids don't play with toys now a days they watch tv and video games..

Well I have DMV appointment this morning - have to replace license..

Tonite we are going out to dinner (outback steak house) - I got on the scale and was surprised this a.m. - right on tract but have been feeling really fat lately..

I gotta say I did sleep good last night - think I only got up once :0)..

Well gotta leave in a few - will cbl

Candice you must be doing alot of snuggling :0)....

Phyl have fun at Water arobics this a.m. we have a tad of a breeze this way but nothing bad..

[peaches9 3]

Hi I'm here, at work... my lasers computer (laptop) is acting up so I am betwwen px...had to cancle the last on

[phyllser 3]

Good afternoon, all!! Busy morning and I didn't get to LBT! TOPS day.. my first time since we got back. I was down another 1.1 lb since my Wii weigh in on Tues... Wii agreed with it! 201.5!! Hmmm..... when did you say we could go to Cabazon, Janet??? LOL! I don't even know if I really want one but I had a wonderful time this morning telling Earl he is a pound and a half away from buying me a Coach purse!! Hee Hee Hee! He cringed! Then he said we'd get one at the PX (29 Palms)! They don't have a great selection there, but they have some. I'll look there if we get there soon, but I'm thinkin' Cabazon!! (Outlet Mall)

I am pretty impressed with how much stronger my legs are after just a couple of days of Water aerobics. Monday I tried to see if I could step up to the first step with my left leg coming out of the pool. I couldn't do it without using both arms to pull myself up. Tried again today... no problem with just one arm steadying myself. So I practiced it some more when I got in the hot tub. Then after all that I went back on the stationary bike for 15 minutes.

Oh... weight recorder checked my log and said I've lost exactly 20 lb since my last weigh in here 6 mos ago. That's not too bad for 6 months.

Steph, hope you're day is not too traumatic! I've been thinking about what you said about "playing". I don't think I ever played dolls, colored or stuff like that with the kids when they were growing up. But I do some of that with the grandkids. And we did play board games and stuff. But in some ways, I've never really grown up! LOL! So I always did silly game playing stuff with them. And still do that with the grandkids... pretend game type stuff. Like last month when we were watching the grandkids.. they expect us to take them to the park when we're there... there are two within a couple of blocks. So we stopped at the first one and they got bored with it pretty quick and wanted to go down to the next one. Well, Thomas gets easily distracted and then he is totally focused on that distraction. This time it was something that he dropped (that was imaginary!) and he was trying to find it. So I stayed behind and humored him a while. But then he startd saying the monsters were coming to get us! AH.... clever Grandma quickly realized that this was the way to get him to MOVE~!! So I hammed it up good... YEAH... the monsters are coming! And I got him to run all the way up to the other playground... told him Grandpa would get the monsters when we got there. And we squealed and carried on all the way down the street! And that's the way "I" play... let myself get silly and immature! So maybe some... I don't know.. would you call that "role playing".... would help.. with the little ones, anway. Teenagers... that's another story! HAH~! I guess I did okay when the kids went through that phase because we always had a lot of kids hangin' at our house. But as a rule, teenagers SCARE me!! LOL!

LindaA, if you're lurking around... hope you had a good birthday this week!

Karla... was talking to someone yesterday when the subject of kids and cell phones came up. I told them your garage story! This person told me that when they have a family dinner... kids have to put their cell phones in a basket so they aren't texting under the table to each other or to their friends. Our oldest grandson is bad that way. Every time we ever go out to eat and he's with us... someone's birthday or something.. he is constantly texting on his phone to his girlfriend... unless she's with us, too. Annoying!

Okay... now I"m brain dead and can't remember any of the other posts. I guess I should start writing things down!

[cramerk 1]

Steph, play is over rated! Now, am I here to entertain you or raise you??? As a parent, we are there to raise them. As kids, their job is to entertain themselves. Now I'm not saying that I never played with my kids, I did board games and such. But really, I think the swing has swung too far that says I am a lousy parent if I don't play dressup or blocks with my kids. Yes I did sit for the occassional tea party. I always stopped to admire my kid's lego creations and had them 'tell me all about it', and took them to the park and bike riding. But I was the parent that hired a babysitter to come in and dye Easter eggs. My kids enjoyed it more if I wasn't around, because they quickly learned, mom is not fun dyeing eggs. Yes it is important to have snuggleup parties with good books and Snacks, but it is a kid's job to be a kid and parent's job to be a parent!

Okay, you all can yell at me, but I really don't think we will damage a kid's psyche by not playing with them. Interaction is a must, but no says it has to be playing!

[phyllser 3]

Got this from "Mango" yesterday (Denise):

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:

> 'Let me see if I've got this right.

>

>

> 'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

> 'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

> 'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

> 'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.

> 'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

> 'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

> 'You want me to do all this and then you tell me:

"I CAN'T PRAY"????

[cramerk 1]

Yeah Phyl, that's about right. After trying to figure out how to cut my minimum requirement for lab materials, 3 weeks of my life, I finally got it cut by half. However, it is still over my budget, so I finally wrote and attached a letter, "The cost of materials could be further cut by eliminating one of the state and district curriculum requirements, the district can make the decision." So I'm passing the buck, I'm tired of taking on the task of trying to make things work. The district can decide and they can tell me what to teach. Quite frankly, I don't care anymore.

[kirajh 0]

Evening, ladies.

Things are a little better today, Spent 4 minutes in the tanning booth at the gym yesterday. I absolutely hate this time of year. And it will continue till the middle of April. Food-wise, I did pretty good today. A slim Fast for BF, a crispy chicken snacker w/o the wrap, lettuce and cheese and sauce from MD's. dinner was a spoonful fo refried Beans on a 6" tortilla and topped with cheddar and mozzarella cheese. Then tonight at small group, I blew it with two brownies and then I just got finished with a spoonful of Peanut Butter. Going back to the gym tomorrow. and i am still pedaling.

I will check back tomorrow. Have a good night.

[cramerk 1]

Kari, I always find a tanning bed cheers me up. Just like drugs,