Lucky #7 are still going strong !!!

[cramerk 1]

Phyl, it is scarey when a panic attack hits. But you made it!!! We are all so proud of you.

I'm sure that my self-esteem issues come from growing up poor white trash and growing up in a car behind a bar everynight while my parents got shit-faced. Mother's comments had a lot to do with it. But I need to let those go and live for the moment. with all of your understanding, I will get there. Notice I did not say 'may or should or hope'. I am taking charge. Janet, I come across as 'agressive' also. I understand that even my boss is afraid of me. What's up with that? I hate confrontation and will run in the opposite direction when possible.

Well, I need to get going, hopefully will be home tonight. I haven't gotten a full walk in 2 days. So tonight, I need to get at least 3 miles. The last 2 days because of company etc. I have only gotten in 2 miles. TTFN Chat tonight!!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Phyl, it is scarey when a panic attack hits. But you made it!!! We are all so proud of you.

I'm sure that my self-esteem issues come from growing up poor white trash and growing up in a car behind a bar everynight while my parents got shit-faced. Mother's comments had a lot to do with it. But I need to let those go and live for the moment. with all of your understanding, I will get there. Notice I did not say 'may or should or hope'. I am taking charge. Janet, I come across as 'agressive' also. I understand that even my boss is afraid of me. What's up with that? I hate confrontation and will run in the opposite direction when possible.

Well, I need to get going, hopefully will be home tonight. I haven't gotten a full walk in 2 days. So tonight, I need to get at least 3 miles. The last 2 days because of company etc. I have only gotten in 2 miles. TTFN Chat tonight!!

Karla - Yes we have very much in common - I didn't grow up in the back seat of a car - but my Mom had some mental issues - she was the abuser to her hubbies.. (3 of them) my sis dad - my dad and my stepdad. On the outside of our house it looked like ozzie & harriet - but inside it wasn't - not always bad but I remember some terrible fights - I do remember good stuff too.. But I was the wet rat to my mom - then oh what a pretty face too bad your fat.. food has alway been my comfort - and I think I stayed in abusive realationship with DS dad cuz that's was love. Well when I got to be 22 I figured out it wasn't.. Pple who really love you don't hurt you.. After that in very co-dependent relationships - got out of those - married a guy who didn't have a drug or alcohal problem - had his own house - vehicle and job - thought I was doing really well in improving my choices of men - but I ignored the whole controling issues that I did see while dating - Well, I can't/won't be controlled for long - so that ended..

I am far from perfect on the self esteem issues - but I do know and have always beleived that you can't let your past control you - that's a copout - it's the past - you are in charge of your today - yes your past is what molded you -but you can overcome those issues - just cuz your mom or whomever says you aint worth shit - doesn't make it so - you know that you are - look at what you have done - become a teacher - raised 5 DD..

I never thought you were mad at us - I know that you understand where we are coming from that we love you and want the best for you...

I forgot your sis was coming - I think we all did :0)

Phyl - I'm glad to hear that your other knee isnt causing problems - each day you will get stronger and stronger..

Ok I have lost those pic's :0(..

it's not 8 gotta get to work - cbl

[peaches9 3]

quiet at work today, only one more px then I get to go home!!!

Doctor's appt agian this aft... about the ITCH, its back full force... so it has to be my Medication that I am allergic to. Problem is my Family Dr. wont want to change my Rx without the Shrink's approval. So i'll let you all know how THAT turns out.

Not a good food night last night, today will be better!

O.K. back now from the Dr. she thinks I am allergic to my Vag. HRT cream!!!! so I am back on the prednisone for another week... I'll stop the HRT and see if "IT" stays cleared up...

wish me luck!

(being bad sitting here eating Peanut Butter cups) poop

Edited September 10, 2009 by peaches9

[cramerk 1]

Oh, I so would be eating PB cups...do you put them in the freezer first? Then eat the chocolate off the sides??? Okay I having a virtual orgasm here. I am going to include chocolate and BJ's in my life once I'm skinnier. Just not the entire bag...or the entire pint. ButI need to learn control, I just don't want to live without those things. I did get my walk in, but man was it hard. Two days of only making 2 miles because of 'life' sure took it's tole. So what is Phyl up to?

Got a phone call from DD#1 last night, she works as a lawyer for a large insurance company in New York. She is head of the legal department. Human Resources called her in and told her to leave the building immediately and not come back until she was called. Then she was called today and told that she was fired and that they were NOT going to discuss it AND block her ability to take unemployment. They NEVER told her why and she has gotten excellent evaluations and promotions over the 6 years she has worked there. Unfortunately this may make her unhireable. If she fights the unemployment that may also make her unhireable. so who knows what she is going to do. My heart breaks for her.

Going to get something to eat, check in later.

[IndioGirl55 32]

quiet at work today, only one more px then I get to go home!!!

Doctor's appt agian this aft... about the ITCH, its back full force... so it has to be my Medication that I am allergic to. Problem is my Family Dr. wont want to change my Rx without the Shrink's approval. So i'll let you all know how THAT turns out.

Not a good food night last night, today will be better!

O.K. back now from the Dr. she thinks I am allergic to my Vag. HRT cream!!!! so I am back on the prednisone for another week... I'll stop the HRT and see if "IT" stays cleared up...

wish me luck!

(being bad sitting here eating Peanut Butter cups) poop

CANDICE STEP AWAY FROM THE PB CUPS !!!! WEDDING - REMEMBER !!!!

Oh, I so would be eating PB cups...do you put them in the freezer first? Then eat the chocolate off the sides??? Okay I having a virtual orgasm here. I am going to include chocolate and BJ's in my life once I'm skinnier. Just not the entire bag...or the entire pint. ButI need to learn control, I just don't want to live without those things. I did get my walk in, but man was it hard. Two days of only making 2 miles because of 'life' sure took it's tole. So what is Phyl up to?

Got a phone call from DD#1 last night, she works as a lawyer for a large insurance company in New York. She is head of the legal department. Human Resources called her in and told her to leave the building immediately and not come back until she was called. Then she was called today and told that she was fired and that they were NOT going to discuss it AND block her ability to take unemployment. They NEVER told her why and she has gotten excellent evaluations and promotions over the 6 years she has worked there. Unfortunately this may make her unhireable. If she fights the unemployment that may also make her unhireable. so who knows what she is going to do. My heart breaks for her.

Going to get something to eat, check in later.

Karla

OMG - If I were her - I would be contacting an attonery - WTF was that all about - just up and fired her - I understand we are employed at will - but still (did she have a contract or was she an employee at will)

I do have candy occassionally (didn't too much during my weight loss phase) but the diff is I buy 1 candy bar -not a bag - cuz if the bag was here I would eat them all..

Well, I have only gotten to the gym Monday & Wed - and the scale is showing it - I will go Sat morning - but hopefully life won't get in the way next week ..

I just finished putting Xmas 90 to 7/92 pic's in a new album-- now I am going to go cook my fish..

Linda - We miss you.

Denise - How are you doing ??

Steph & Karri - have fun on your walk...

Phyl - you must be out walking the block

Kari - How's your food & soda addiction this week....

Ok - I'm out for the night - TTYL

Love to you all - Hugs J

[cramerk 1]

Janet, you are SO organized!! I have never been to much into the picture thing. I use to be able to get an entire year of activities/holidays on one roll of 36. Fortunately, my children are much better.

Yesterday I finally got in my 3+ miles. I felt like a bloated sheep. Did end up stopping 3 times to use the restroom. But this morning when I stepped on the scale it showed a 1/2 pound gain. I was SO hungry last night, I ended up having a bowl of blueberries and yogurt. I'm trying to tell myself that it was head hungries, but I just kept eating and didn't stop until bed time. I had about 300 extra calories...Okay...400. I assume it is stress, but WTF am I going to do about it. Last night was one of the first times I felt out of control. Hopefully the gain was a result of that bowl of blueberries & yogurt, otherwise, I am in trouble if I'm on a gaining cycle. It felt a lot like a TOM feeding frenzy and I haven't had one of those since my hysterectomy in 2000. This weekend I am going to try to get an extra walk in each day. Looking over the week of food, I did see some 'extra's' sneaking in. Tuesday had a 1/2 inch sliver of Huckleberry pie at friends birthday party. I removed all the whipcream. Tues & Wed, I only walked two miles each day. Saturday, I had 2 french fries dipped in melted cheese. Monday - Thursday, I had some broccoli slaw with sunflower seeds and dressing. I kept the dressing to a minimum, but the sunflower seeds are high in calories. So I guess if I look at it, I had about 1/2 pound worth of calories extra this week. I probably need to change up my exercise regeim (sp). I've been walking the same about for 6 weeks and I'm sure the body is getting use to it. I've been playing with making a weighted vest, some thing that will increase my mass to make me work harder. Payday, I'm going to join our local gym, the membership is very reasonalbe, only $25 a month, and no long term membership is required.

It looks like a mechanic is going to take DD#4 dead Saturn. He is going to use it for parts. Giving DD#4 $175 for the tires and we will pull the battery. It is better than us having to pay to have it hauled aff. When they get done with the parts, they are going to send it off to have it dumped in the Pacific as reef building material. I kind of like that.

Well best get going, everytime I close my eyes, I try to fall asleep, so if I don't get moving I will be asleep and miss school. Actually school is going well, the kids are bored, so am I. We are required to go over 'Procedures & Expectations', and at 45 min classes it is taking forever. Hopefully will get books checked out today, and get down to some fun science next week. I seem to be suffering from some ADHD, I just can't seem to focus and I'm hating sitting still to do paperwork or computer work.

Sorry this post seems to be 'all about me'. I promise to be more other focused over the weekend. Janet, DD#1 has retained a lawyer to fight the unemployment block. She meets with the career councelor at Syracuse where she got her degree. Has lots of lawyer friends beating the bushes for a job. She would really like to get into environmental law, so maybe this is her chance.

TTFN, I'm going to be late for work!

[IndioGirl55 32]

Good Morning !!!

Karla - wtg on the exercise - you had to pee 3 times - I bet you are retaining waters - and yet those bite of this and that do add up - but it didn't sound like you had that much... I am up this morning too - but I know it's the lack of exercise for me - I will go in the morning and hopefully life won't get in the way next week..

I have a gf from work coming over for dinner & movie tonite - we are having stuffed bell peppers made with ground turkey & salad.< /p>

Tomorrow gym - nails - and wedding @ 5 p.m. - should be alot of fun !!!

Steph & Karri walking today !!! You go girls....

We will have to ck fb to see how they are doing...

Ok I need to get my butt in gear .... CBL

[phyllser 3]

Good Morning, Gang!

What a beautiful Seattle morning for Steph and Karri to be starting their 3 day walk! It's gorgeous and supposed to be in the mid-80's the next two days, then 75 on Sunday.

Not a great night's sleep, but feeling good this morning. Ready to shower, do my exercise routine and get on with my day!

[lindaa 1]

Hi--still around, just beyond busy. Just got home from work craving a salad--knew we had some lettuce, fresh tomatoes. . . Nah, DH ate all the lettuce! What's with that? He can eat whatever he wants, and he chooses the last of my lettuce !$!@# For crying out loud! Guess I got to go to the store and buy more--think I'll pick up some Long Island Iced Tea mix while I'm at it. He'll be gone all night anyway.

So I'm off yet again, but one thing before I go: Karla--your pic is georgeous! Not at all what I expected either--are you sure you're not in your 40's cuz you sure don't look 50-something! What a looser that Tuna-guy was!

OK, I'm off to the store to get a stupid head of lettuce. geez. . .

[phyllser 3]

Hi--still around, just beyond busy. Just got home from work craving a salad--knew we had some lettuce, fresh tomatoes. . . Nah, DH ate all the lettuce! What's with that? He can eat whatever he wants, and he chooses the last of my lettuce !$!@# For crying out loud! Guess I got to go to the store and buy more--think I'll pick up some Long Island Iced Tea mix while I'm at it. He'll be gone all night anyway.

So I'm off yet again, but one thing before I go: Karla--your pic is georgeous! Not at all what I expected either--are you sure you're not in your 40's cuz you sure don't look 50-something! What a looser that Tuna-guy was!

OK, I'm off to the store to get a stupid head of lettuce. geez. . .

LOL! Sorry about that! Earl has done things like that to me a time or two.

We're having such a beautiful day. I want to go for a scooter ride but going to wait an hour so I an meet Tracy at our favorite latte stand. She's not ready. But I did walk all the way around our complex a little while ago. It took me 25 minutes and I was exhausted and hurting when I got back but I MADE IT! My goal was to the mailboxes by today and around the complex is a much further distance. So now I'm icing.

One more thing. What do you think about using childrens' liquid ibuprofen??

Seems like an antiinflammatory would be good for me right now,

so I bought some.

Edited September 11, 2009 by phyllser

[lindaa 1]

OK, I'm back and I had my salad and a Bloody Mary, so I'm calmer now.

I feel so out of it. You guys just keep going, and I feel like such a loser--and not in the "good" sense of the word. What's up with that? I feel like I'm just keeping up, and never really a part of anything. I try to talk to DH, but he's just in his own world of cars, work, and things he feels he has to do. It's like I just don't exsit unless he or the kids need something.

I got a nasty email from a clinical mentor today complalining b/c she doesn't feel "supported!" Seesh, she's never around when I come to visit, and I've waited for 2 WEEKS to hear if she'll accept a student or not--then she complains that she doesn't get enough notice!She wants a month-- I gave her over 5 weeks, What's the problem? I sent her email to trash--I can find another site, and she's probablly the 5th person in that position since I've been doing this--she'll be gone in another year.

OK, deep breath! In--out--we've all got issues. . .

So this weekend is pretty quiet except that Tim will be comming home from CA on Monday for 2 weeks. Unfortuantely, I won't have a lot of free time, and he and Mindy want to visit Luke in MN next weekend. But it will be good to have him home for awhile.

Had such a sad dream the other night: Dreamed that Luke was 4 years old (he's 24)--I could hear his little boy voice--and I was telling him "Dont' grow up." I must sure miss my babies! Steph--cherish them--you won't have them for long. All of this was happening in a white house with white walls and nothing on them. I felt closed in by the blandness of it all. Freud would have a field day with that!

OK, so there's where I'm at. Not losing, probably gaining--who knows? I don't have time to obsess about it.

[lindaa 1]

OH Phyl, About the Ibuprofen: Is that something we can use? I thought that Tylenol (acetaminophen) was the only NSAID that was OK? Personally, I think it depends--some people have no problem, others are more sensitive. Got to check your Band surgeon's recommendations.

[cramerk 1]

Oh Linda, what can I do to help? I'm here girl...did you get your antidepressents checked???? Okay do we need an intervention here? I'm worried about you. You can't go through life this way, you're not living. I have been there when I felt that everything exsisted around me but I seemed to be an observer to my own life. Are you sleeping? PLEASE GO TO THE DOCTOR!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT MEDICAL PERSONEL WHO NEVER GO TO THE DOCTOR. Okay, I'm done screaming. Thank you for the sweet comments. I don't feel like 50.

Phyl, way to go!!! You are doing so great.

Really frustrated with my control. I know it is stress. But I that is not an excuse. Janet, how do you do it everyday. You are always so focused, always so strong. Everything that I have learned and the control I had just seems to be lost...

[cramerk 1]

Where is everyone?

[phyllser 3]

OH Phyl, About the Ibuprofen: Is that something we can use? I thought that Tylenol (acetaminophen) was the only NSAID that was OK? Personally, I think it depends--some people have no problem, others are more sensitive. Got to check your Band surgeon's recommendations.

You know she's right... you need to go to the Dr and get something more effective for this depression! Do it.. NOW!!

NSAIDS... I am assuming that we're not supposed to take them because they could cause damage sitting in the pouch. So I thought maybe the liquid stuff would be okay. And I researched here on some other threads and it sounds like the docs have differences of opinion on taking NSAIDS. Anyways, I thought I'd try it for a few days in between pain pills.< /span>