It's A Heart Break

[lady in red 0]

Hey Candysmooch, you're hurting so much right now, I'm hurting too, sympathy pain. I'm very sorry for your pain and anguish. Listen girl, you can and will make it! I simply don't beleive in accidents or mistakes, but rather that everything happens for a reason. How many times have you looked back on even simple "mishaps" and realized if that had not happened that something really bad would have occured? I went through a painful breakup in the past, being left standing crying in a parking lot in a strange place while being 3 months pregnant. I was 16 and very scared. I ended up meeting my husband 2 years later and we are still married and happy. If I had stayed with my baby's father (he was 30) I would never have met my wonderful husband. You have been freed from this relationship for something much better. Let your time at work tonight be freedom from hurting. When you get off work and are home or in a place where you feel safe, let it all out honey, we are all here for you, don't be ashamed to hurt or to share your pain with others, most people are very compasionate and those who are not never got their needs met. Your needs will be met and later, you too will be helping others because you need to help to stay well. Please keep reaching out we will keep pulling you in, because you are very important.

Rose in Texas

[Teresita 0]

If and or when he comes to get his stuff, you might not want to be there or have someone there with you. If you don't want to do that be sure someone comes over after he leaves, if he actually leaves. You know how men can be but you are going to be fine and finner then fine. I keep thinking about you. We all love you.

[Parvathi 2]

Just checking back into this post. candy, let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it.

<hugs>

[tztmama 0]

Sending you empathy and lotsa hugs. There is no way to get around the pain. Just remember, most of us have been through it and have made it to the other side. You will too. It always helped me to write poetry and letters to "him", never meaning to send them. We have so many intelligent and caring people on this website, we are here for you!

[dylansmom 27]

Wow. Jack has just totally amazed me once again. He is such a fount of wisdom on this topic, and I couldn't have said it better myself.

I too had a similar experience in my younger years. I was engaged to a guy for all of a month or 2 and found out that he just wanted to up and call everything off.

I was stunned, I was crushed, I couldn't believe that he could do that to me. And when I moved back into the area after college I even thought of hooking up with him again.

We took a walk, and we talked.....and I knew right away that not being with him was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. Years later I found out that he had lied to me about many things, and possibly even cheated on me.

Now I'm happily married to a man who works hard, loves me for who and what I am, doesn't run around on me, doesn't abuse me (Had another boyfriend who did that), and doesn't drink or do drugs. I count my blessings everyday that things didn't work out with Mr. Whatshisname.

I know it's hard at first, but please keep your chin up. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you deserve more in your life than him. You will get through this - and you will be a stronger, better woman for it in the end.

[tztmama 0]

Yup. the last man I was in a relationship with was also "the only man who had ever truly made love to me". I thought he was my soul mate, etc.,etc. I found out later, after he broke my heart, that he had another woman on the side and at the same time was going back to his ex-wife every couple of months. So, he actually was juggling three of us. I have never even had a man cheat on me before so this totally blew my mind. At the same time my mom had an obesity related stroke that left her unable to walk, talk, toilet, or anything and I basically gave all my belongings away and moved in to care for her. That was over 5 years ago and I just isolated and put on 60 pounds, thinking I didn't care because the pounds would keep the bad guys away.

I am such a different person now. I see the gifts the relationship gave me and have learned that some of our pain is blessings in disguise. Sure didn't feel like it at the time though. Life is a process of happiness, grief, joy, and sadness and lots of stuff in between. You are in my prayers tonight and soon you will be smiling again.

[aaamom 0]

Jack, I just have to say-YOU ROCK.

Where were you when I was 20????????

candy, although it doesnt feel like it now, things WILL get better. Hugs to you

[dianeb 0]

I am sorry about what happened but I feel everything happens for a reason and might now you may not know what that reason is ,but one day it will come to you and you will understand . Stay strong and remember you are number one and take care of you ... wish you the best and I am here for you . I have been thru this mess plenty of times myself .. stay strong

[princess_n_thep 2]

Candysmooch,

So sorry to hear about this. Love is tough for sure! Remember that everything that happens will shape you in the future and make you stronger!

My band is VERY tight if I am stressed or upset. Be very careful and take it easy. Maybe you can call some girlfriends and have a nice getaway for the weekend! That makes me feel better!

Take care hun!

[Bensmum1109 0]

candy, where are you?? We're worried about you and hope you are doing ok!!

[Hedwig 0]

Where is she? Has anyone heard from candy? I am worried. Candy I hope you are doing better. lots of hugs.

[CandySmooch 0]

OMG - everyone - thank you sooooo very much from the bottom of my heart for your continued support. I'm sorry I haven't been on here to update everyone, but we've been working things out.

Let me fill you in on what happened. When I got off work that morning at 7am and got home he was still awake - he looked at me and said he hadn't been able to sleep at all since I left and went to work last night. He had been up thinking all night long about what he was getting ready to do. I asked him if his decision had changed and he said yes. He then picked up the phone to call his brother since his brother was supposed to be coming to get his stuff at 8am. I went in the other room so he could have his privacy (oops yea right, I HAD to listen to find out what was going on) - his brother and him are very close. I listened to him talk to his brother for over an hour about what had been going on. I heard him talk a lot about how he had been freaked out about settling down, but realized now for the first time he was ready. I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, he was approaching 30 years old and we've been planning on a spring engagement. His life was here with me and he realized that - and he wasn't going to just throw it away and run from it, he was going to be my man. There were a lot of other things I had heard him say, but waited to hear it myself. After he got off the phone with his brother we had a "Come To Jesus" talk and got everything out in the open. We've been working things out over the last few days and everything is back on track between us. I was so worried and knew there had to have been another reason for him wanting to leave so suddenly when we haven't had any serious problems in the relationship. Sure we don't see eye to eye all the time, but who does? and I certainly didn't think that would cause our relationship to end.

Again - thank you so much for your continued support - I don't know what I would have done without everyone!!!!

And on a side note - we had a family BBQ yesterday and my mom commented on how she could tell of my weight loss if it was only minimal - she said she could tell my belly didn't stick out as far as it used to and by God - I believe she's right!

[Teresita 0]

You go girl. I am so glad to hear about you guys getting things together. Also, it's good to hear that your mom is so supportive....? LOL It's wonderful to see the belly drop. LOL

[cindyh 0]

Candysmooch,

Here's to a happy ending!! Take Care!

[Bensmum1109 0]

Congratulations, Girl!! I am so happy everything is working out for you!