Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

How do you handle family and friends who are jealous of your weight loss? I had my band put on Jan. 16, 2009 and have lost over 40lbs. I had a cousin come up to me at a wedding yesterday and commented about my weight loss. She said "I heard you got the band". I don't see why you did that:cursing:!!! Look cuz I was 100lbs over weight!!!! Heading for Diabetis, and heart disease, no thank you!!! I told her how much less I was eating and she said well why couldn't you do that without the band? I had other people at the wedding tell me that I looked GREAT and that I was glowing:thumbup:!!!! I hope that my idot cuz heard the good comments! But, like I said, what is a good come/back to her! By the way, she is about 150lbs over weight or more:ohmy:! It just upset me a little of her negative attitude! She is in her mid 60's (age). Thank you!

Edited by wintobethin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You hit the nail on the head. Jealousy. Maybe she took comfort in the fact that you were also overweight. Ignorance is another factor. The person I work with made a similar comment and I just looked at her like she had a third ear. I mean really. Some don't understand because they can't relate. Others take comfort in knowing that your faults are visible and they can commiserate with you being in the same boat as them.

I applaud your efforts to make a positive change in your life. Don't let her even get to you. Her opinion shouldn't even matter to you. If you really want to shut her up, lose the weight and they tell her you would be happy to give her some of your "fat" clothes. That will get a reaction!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my come back would of been "well atleast I aint fat no more...and if losin weight on ur own is so easy, wuts ur excuse? lmaooooo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i haven't had the surgery yet(2 1/2 weeks away) but i have been putting up with negative responses too. all of them are from my family and best friend that are as obese and more so than i am. my husband is convinced that they are jealous. the worst is that they are the closest people in my life and i feel they have abandoned me. all i can think is that you would think that if they loved you, they would want you to be alive! sometimes i think people confuse it with cosmetic surgery. know this-you are not alone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a cousin come up to me at a wedding yesterday and commented about my weight loss. She said "I heard you got the band". I don't see why you did that:cursing:!!!!

My answer would've been:

"I don't see why you wouldn't"

but I am a cheeky monkey

which may be a big reason people don't usually say stuff like that do me. As in never yet, but I'm ready! LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i haven't had the surgery yet(2 1/2 weeks away) but i have been putting up with negative responses too. all of them are from my family and best friend that are as obese and more so than i am. my husband is convinced that they are jealous. the worst is that they are the closest people in my life and i feel they have abandoned me. all i can think is that you would think that if they loved you, they would want you to be alive! sometimes i think people confuse it with cosmetic surgery. know this-you are not alone!

They are probibly scared because when you see its possible to change and you don't want to its easier to knock or belittle what ever it is. Drinkers don't like it when people in their lives get sober. Overwieght people don't like it when people in their lives lose weight. But just know you will be healthier and happier! You will also be a good example with out saying a word. Stay on your path and congrats on starting this journey!:biggrin:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been fortunate in that most of the people in my life have been very kind and very supportive. I do have a sister however who doesn't even talk to me anymore and I believe it is because she can't stand the fact that I am in a healthier and happier state of being then she is.

Here is how I look at the situation with my sister. She can jump on board and be loving and supportive or she can wallow in her own negative energy without me. It really is her choice to make, not mine.

Don't let others derail you from your goal. Stay on track and enjoy the journey. Life is just too short to spend it around miserable people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Negativity only breeds more negativity. I would have just ignored the comments. Focus on yourself and what you've accomplished so far instead of having to defend and explain yourself. Think about how much farther you can go, and just remind yourself your cousin will probably stay the same.

Edited by libriteen
spelling

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's disappointing, isn't it? When the people you expect to support your decision end up being so mean about it.

I think you just have to develop a thick skin (so to speak) and appreciate the support you do get. For me, some of the people at work have been very supportive and say it's inspirational. Others whisper behind my back.

Be secure in your decision and ignore the haters. You're doing what's right for you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my come back would of been "well atleast I aint fat no more...and if losin weight on ur own is so easy, wuts ur excuse? lmaooooo

I do like the way you think:smile:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Negativity only breeds more negativity. I would have just ignored the comments. Focus on yourself and what you've accomplished so far instead of having to defend and explain yourself. Think about how much farther you can go, and just remind yourself your cousin will probably stay the same.

I totally agree with Libriteen. Taking the high road is the only way to go. Clearly your cousin must know how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off, since she struggles with her weight, too. I think it's bizarre that she was trying to act like it's so easy when she clearly can't do it on her own any more than the rest of us could!

I got around this issue by not telling everyone about my surgery. I did tell most of my family and all of my closest friends, but I didn't tell a few people who I knew might make petty comments. I just was not going to sign on for that kind of thing.

I also did not tell people at work in order to keep my work/life privacy balance. That's been a little harder because I really like several people here, and they have been really supportive. I'd like to tell them, but I also know that the best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself!

Hang in there & ignore the haters! :biggrin:

Catherine

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • RacMag  »  bhogue925

      Hi, I’m new here. I’m currently on the liver shrinking diet. So far so good, but I have to say I haven’t found a protein shake I like. Anyone have any suggestions please? My surgery date is September 17th. 
      · 2 replies
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Fairlife Core are by far the best. They taste just as they are - chocolate milk. You can either get the 26 grams or the 42 grams (harder to find and more expensive). For straight protein look at Bulksuppliments.com ..they have really good whey proteins and offer auto ship plus they test for purity. No taste or smell...

      2. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Fairlife has strawberry, vanilla and of course chocolate. No more calories than other protein drinks. Stay away from Premiere, they're dealing with lawsuits due to not being honest about protein content.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×