I feel like a failure! Almost a year banded and very little progress

[Missprdiva 0]

Hello Fello Lap Banders!!!!

Okay I have not been on this site, in what seems like forever. I was banded back on Aug 8th, 2008 and I am coming up on my one year anniversy. As that date is approaching, I can't help but be disapointed in myself. The day I was banded I weighed 314 pounds. As of today I weigh 263 pounds. I am taking responsiblity because I am NOT eating right at all. I don't know if anyone is having as much trouble as I am with staying away from the bad foods. Let me say this, I know that the band is only a tool and we must take account for what we put in our bodies. I am fully aware of this and I totally agree. But here is the thing, after going through this process of being banded and living with it, I discovered that I have a major addition to food. I mean a major addiction. I think about food day and night, which I know is not normal. Anyways, back to the problem. I have had issues with my band. I have a 10cc band and everytime I get filled to 5cc a few days later, I can be just drinking Water and it gets stuck. Which leads me to throwing up because the water will not go down. Then I am in major pain which leads me having to go back into the doctors office and getting a full unfill, which means I have to start all over. This totally sucks.. lol I just want to be able to keep my 5cc fill and be happy. When I get an unfill my mind goes into the "I can eat whatever I want mood" .. and I want to control it but its so hard... I have a apt for a fill this upcoming wed and I want to start fresh.. So I am going to beg and plead with my doc to fill me up at least to a 4.5 or 5 cc and do straight liquids for like a week... But I want to know if anyone has been struggling like I have? Any help or advice you may have would be much appericated.

Have a great weekend,

Lisa

[nwlife4 0]

Hello Lisa,

First of all I'm going to suggest you don't get a fill to a 5 , only because you have a hard time at a 5. Start at a 4 wait your 6 weeks and see how you do. You are not suppose to throw up and you should still be able to eat just not as much. You know 5 does not work for you so why put yourself through this again. Your only going to keep flip flopping over and over again. Even now I have days I can eat more than other days. Sometimes the band is swollen especially on those monthly monster days. Am I mentally hungry or physically hungry. Thats the question you need to ask yourself. When you know Its mental you need to have a plan set in, have something you enjoy and go do that 1 thing. Everyday is a new day, old habits can become just that old...make efforts to change them bad habits into good habits. Its not a one day process but keep

trying them until you accomplish them. You can do this!!! You are beautiful and you deserve a healthy life!!!!

[LastOptionAtty 0]

The goal is 1- pounds a week so you are on track we all want more so I undestand but that's a great loss! With the fill my Dr. started with 2 cc then added 2 more going from 0 to 5 cc isnt the right way to do it I had one overfill and it was awful o ask them to increase 1 cc at a time a .5 cc makes a world of difference!

[flowerchild 0]

lisa,

I agree with the othr posters. When you go in start with less of a fill. You obviously are over filled a 5cc. Start slowly and I bet you will do great. You have a great start already. I can't wait until I have lost 50 lbs! I can't even imagine what it will feel like. You are doing great!

[beccab1980 0]

Can your doctor do your fills over time, like 1-2cc at a time instead of just going straight to 5?

Like a few others have said 50lbs is not a little progress.... that is HUGE! You should be proud of yourself.

BTW our surgery dates are only 4 days apart!

[missjewel 0]

Hi Lisa,

I was banded on 7/21/08. I have lost 62 pounds., now to some thats a lot and to others it's not enough, but to me WOW. I am 20 pounds from goal weight.

I also have problems with throwing up at times, I can't keep the food down so I drink my Proteins and Water. I feel great. My weight lost was slow for the first 9 months. Each of us are diffrent, don't compare yourself, girl 50 lost is surely better than 50 gained!

Good luck and be gentel with your self. Oh, I'm going to start WW soon.

[ucdep99 0]

Hi Lisa, yes we all get misserable on this weight loss program and I thought it would come off faster than a pound a week. But my doctor says thats about the right amount of weight they want us to loose. He said it gives us time to stay more firmer and not be so saggy. So don't give up , ask your self where would you be if you had not had the surgery done and you could have been 50 lbs heavier , know thats not so good. Hang in there and give it all you got.

ucdep99

[NJMOMof2 17]

Would you have lost 50lbs without the band???? I can say for myself the answer would be no. A pound a week is successful. Don't beat yourself up and be proud of what you've accomplished!!!

[nurse09 0]

Lisa, Please don't feel as if you are alone because you are not. We all got banded for the same reason, but we all will go through different experiences with it. With that said i am further out then you and have had less progress. I had my band in march of 2008( 16months ago) and have lost 54lbs but gainded 8 lb back, but i have now lost 3 of those 8lbs again. I have now came back out of my fog and i am trying to do the right thing again. So please know you are not alone! I agree with the others when they say make a plan when you start thinking about food to do something else. Like take a walk, read a book, brush your teeth, call a friend. there are lots of things you can do. i know it sounds silly, but the more you do these other things the less you will want to eat and it will become easier not to eat as well. We trained our minds to think food is the way or "comfort" for us and we can untrain our minds as well. Now as far as the fills go i doubt your doctor will give you 4.5 ml in your band. If he/she does they are not a very good doctor. You must do it slowly just as you did in the beginning. That is the only way you will ever succeed. I know you want fast results we all do, but remember we didnt put it on over night and it won't come off over night. Remember your goal is to get and stay at a healthy weight for life. So slow is good and 51lbs is excellent compared to not losing at all or to what you were prior to surgery. I would suggest to try and eat your meats, vegs, and fruit first. They will make you feel full much longer. I hope all my babble helped lol take care and keep up the fight girl you are worth it!

[nurse09 0]

Oh yes lisa one more thing lol 4.5 ml may be your sweet spot. just because you have a 10ml band doesnt mean you need 10ml or close to that to be at your sweet spot. everyone is different. just remember to be honest with your doctor and tell them exactly what you are eating. they are there to help you. so if you let them know they can suggest things as well. you don't want to be too tight because you start throwing up too much it can cause damage to the band. if this happens they will have to go in and remove it and you will have to WAIT to get a new one replaced. So i know it is frustrating but try to keep in mind if you damage your band how much longer you will have to wait. also liquids for a week would only be a "quick fix" you may lose a lot of weight but once you started eating again you would gain it right back. so try to keep that in mind as well.

[Headhunter 6]

LisaMarie;

Welcome back to the site!

A couple of things come to mind.

First of all, you HAVE made some progress, so give yourself a bunch of credit for that. You are most certainly lighter than you were at the beginning. You're not a failure. Not even CLOSE to being one.

Other good advice has been given on this thread, so you need to take that to heart.

You did, however, mention one thing that I think is the "missing link" for a lot of people. The "mind" element.

You mentioned your recognition that you have a serious food addiction. That's an important recognition. And, it's something that you need to deal with, in a very significant way.

In my opinion, people need to undergo some lengthy psychotherapy before they get the Band, or any other type of weight loss surgery. It's not something that people do very often, and I think it's a mistake that the WLS industry is making. Most WLS patients undergo a Psych Eval of some kind, but I feel that it stops FAR short of what needs to be done in this area.

A Large part of the weight issues that we all face is a "mind game". And if you don't deal with that element of the problem, you will NEVER be fully successful at losing the weight.

Based upon what you have said here, I would STRONGLY suggest that you consider seeing a Psychotherapist that SPECIALIZES in Weight Issues, and one that has Specific, Demonstated experience with people who have had or are going to have Weight Loss Surgery.

Please Note: You HAVE to make sure that the Therapist does indeed have EXPERTISE in and SPECIALIZES in weight loss/WLS issues. Not many therapists do, and some of them SAY that they do because they have a couple of obese clients., but in reality they are NOT specialists. Make sure that it is the PRIMARY focus of their Psychotherapy Practice. That is SO important.

You might also consider getting an opinion from another Doctor as well. There is a growing sub-specialty among Bariatric Doctors that caters to those who have had WLS and are having problems reaching their goals. It might be that having a "fresh eye" look at your situation could give you the jump-start that you need.

But, before you do ANYTHING, I would begin searching for a Psychotherapist with the qualifications that are mentioned above. It may be the key that will unlock the door to your future success.

Again, you HAVE had some success with this. You have done better than many people, frankly, but you don't want to have come this far and simply have it stop.

Keep at it.....do what I suggested above. I have seen this before, and dealing with the "mind" component of the WLS puzzle has been the answer for many people before you. And, it could very likely be YOUR answer as well!:thumbdown:

HH

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Why is your doctor completely unfilling you when you get stuck at 5cc? Why not just take out 1cc and see how you do? It seems like his approach is all or nothing. I always agree with the advice to get a second opinion about things. I did and changed doctors back in April. I was banded close to when you were. I was banded on Sept. 22, 2008. I have only lost close to 15 pounds from then. But from my highest weight until now I have lost 75 pounds. I am about 20 pounds from goal. But the band has not worked for me the way I thought it would. I have a 4cc band with 2cc fill (3 was too tight) and I have never achieved satiety and hunger has always been my biggest problem. Not any particular food or even bad food choices. Just enough food to feel satisfied and that, of course, was always too much.

I agree with HH about the need to confront your food demons. There is a lot in our histories and experiences that when uncovered can explain why we are addicted to food. Please find a qualified phychotherapist. It might help.

But you are doing well and are taking the next step by reaching out for help. Good luck.