Are co-workers going to notice?

[slufmuffin 0]

I don't usually keep secrets, but after testing the waters at work and coming up with responses like "you should just exercise, go on a diet, less calories, ww" I decided to not tell anyone at work about my surgery. I'm not an idiot, most people don't lose weight quickly w/o surgery so I realize they are going to notice something. But, I had my surgery 6 days ago, and I'm planning on going back in 3 days. I've lost a few pounds, do you think they are going to notice? And if they do, (now or in the future) how do you respond? Any good responses would be appreciated!!! Thank you!

btw- the names's Jane, nice to meet you, and THANK YOU for the site, awesome blogs and answers to questions. love it!

[crzytchr 3]

They are going to notice. If not the weight loss so far, then you not eating, and then eating soft foods only. If you want to continue to not tell, then drink Protein drinks during your post op and tell them you are jump starting a healthy eating plan. I, however, just tell everybody.

I personally didn't care what anyone thought about it. What in the world would make them think I hadn't already tried dieting and exercising?! Heck, I have gained and lost a couple of sumo wrestlers in the past 20 years. In this past year, however, I have lost the most weight I have ever lost at once, and even though I have only lost a few lbs in the last 3 months, I am doing great and feel even better! Good luck with your journey and with returning to work.

[LindaD 3]

I chose to be very open about it, but I certainly understand that some would not want to share what is considered private medical decisions with everyone.

I sort of feel like it gives me an opportunity to dispel myths, to create understanding.

For people who do choose to keep it private, if they lose a lot of weight quickly, I think people may speculate about it anyway, probably behind their backs. And I suppose that's OK too - if the objective is not to have to talk about it, even in this situation, the objective is still met, right?

For me, even though I understand the desire for privacy, it just feels dishonest to act as if I was suddenly able to conquer this demon without some help. I worry that other fat people might think "Gosh, if she can do it, then why can't I???" and it could make them feel worse.

Good luck with whatever you decide. It's not an easy one, I'm sure.

[ThinAli 0]

Fortunately for me everyone in my division knew and was supportive. However, I work in an environment of very healthy and fit people. Depending on what you are wearing they may not notice at first. As you lose weight don't wear baggy clothes it will make even more noticeable. If people ask me which it has already gotten out I will tell them. I will try to say at first I am doing it through diet and exercise because it is part of it. And really they aren't owed anything more. I won't hide but I am not going up to people saying guess what I'm getting lap band! I work with men so I would get a blank look from most of them. I will tell you in my division I didn't tell one person who I knew would be totally judgemental to my face. I know he knows but I don't want to hear it! So beyond anything that is me I don't want to hear it have your opinion just know I don't want to hear it!

To each her own they will know but let them know on your terms whatever they are I get it. The fear of what others say to your face is what stops you especially when they have already told you to diet, etc. I would say try to find the person you think will be most supportive and tell them that way you are starting on a positive note and from there you probably won't be so bothered by it!

[crzytchr 3]

For me, even though I understand the desire for privacy, it just feels dishonest to act as if I was suddenly able to conquer this demon without some help. I worry that other fat people might think "Gosh, if she can do it, then why can't I???" and it could make them feel worse.

This is exactly what happened to me. A coworker 2 years ago was losing weight and she would just grin and say she was exercising more and eating less. I would compliment her on her loss and tell her how great she looked and I felt even more like a failure each time, even though I was genuinely happy for her success. Later, right before I decided to get my surgery, I found out she had been banded. I felt betrayed, actually. If she would have shared that information, I would have had someone else to talk to and maybe would have had my surgery sooner. THAT is why I tell everyone. If by telling I can help anyone else, it is worth it. Also, I don't want others who are struggling to think I feel superior in my accomplishments with losing. They know, because I tell them, it is the band that helps me to keep it off.

This does not mean, however, that I think everyone should tell if they aren't comfortable with it. It just was the right thing for me to do. I just can't NOT tell.

Edited August 2, 2009 by crzytchr

[abingdongirl 0]

I have spoken to some people about me thinking of getting WLS at the time not sure which one to do and when it could happen was never discussed. So I figure those whom I have said something to will know, and those who don't won't... it is no big deal, I don't plan to lie about it but I don't plan to broadcast it either. My family knows and that is who is most important.

[evil_gummi_bear 0]

I don't really plan on telling anyone. I was banded on 7/16, and its still a need to know sort of thing for me. My parents and younger sibling know, and so do my doctors. I don't think it's relevant to anyone else. If I get any questions, I'll just tell them I'm taking care better care of myself. Which is true, so I'm not lying.

Although my aunt told me about a coworker who was banded and didn't tell anyone. Everyone thought she was dying of cancer, until someone asked if she was OK, and then she told them about the band.

[Little2be 0]

I have had the basic same thoughts. I didn't feel compelled to tell anyone at work about my surgery. I just took vacation. Unfortunately, due to an error, my work number and my home number got mixed up.

I have no intention of lying, but my doc fixed that when he repaired a Hiatus hernia. Now if asked, i've had that fixed.

Good luck.

Sheri

[Delivered 0]

Initially, I only told my husband and his parents because I needed their support immediately after the surgery. My husband understood my struggle and although he didn't agree at first...after attending the seminar, he supported my decision.

Because my eating changed, there have been a lot of awkward moments at work. I have been questioned, "Why aren't you eating more?" and I have had to leave suddenly to make a dash to restroom when I made the wrong choice --- eating too much or too fast.

I have never lied about it. When anyone asks me privately, I am very open about the surgery. I have told several people in private. When someone asks me in public (in front of a lot of people), I just respond that I had to take drastic measures and it's been a long journey.

Another lady in my office had the lapband and she was very open from the beginning. In some respects, I wish I had been as open.

[meem 0]

I think this is a tough call, to tell or not to tell. I personally told a select few at work, whom have known my success and failures. I agree with LindaD, it is a chance to explain the band and disspell myths, boy are there lots of myths. When approached about my weight loss I will tell and explain. although there are always a few that you will mention it to and EVERYDAY you see them they ask "how much", as if overnight I lost 30lbs!

And I just, gently, remind them, AGAIN, that this is a tool that is helping me gain control over my life and food and it's a journey, not an over night thing. Just keep up the good work and as always, this is for us not them.

[bookwormswot 0]

While my close friends and family know, I don't feel it is my coworkers' business, so I haven't told them and don't plan on it. We're in an office where there isn't much personal sharing so I just wouldn't feel comfortable having everyone know this about me anymore than I would having them know about who I am dating or whatever.

[mylisa1 0]

i had a hernia with mine, so when people asked why i wasnt eating normal food i said because of the hernia surgery. then i would add it is a great way to jump start my diet , dont worry people are just fishing for info. btw i was band july10 and down 25lb from 262. most of it will power my first fill is aug 24, but i dont seem to get real hungry anymore is that normal? good luck all...

[mbranham0306 0]

There's only my boss, another worker and I at my work. I work in an attorney's office and there is another attorney and her secretary there too. I have told them, they knew what I was doing (I've been off 3 weeks). I do worry about the lady I work with when I go back. She wasn't very encouraging before I had the surgery. She'd bring homemade candy and Cookies to work and try to get me to eat them. Whenever I was eating lunch (good low carb stuff), she'd say something like she'd just eat whatever she wanted and not worry about it. The thing is that she is overweight too. She's even talked about having the surgery but she's not commited enough. She said she could never do without chocolate. Well, I haven't been able to eat chocolate in 5 years so I think I can manage this.

I'm just afraid that she'll start with the candy and crap again. I won't eat any but you know it'll be tempting! It just makes me sad and now I dread going to work tomorrow. :thumbdown::frown:

[Mimilou2004 13]

Wow, Missy, that is a tough situation. Stay strong and maybe she will quit bugging you!!! Best wishes,

Mimi

[crzytchr 3]

There's only my boss, another worker and I at my work. I work in an attorney's office and there is another attorney and her secretary there too. I have told them, they knew what I was doing (I've been off 3 weeks). I do worry about the lady I work with when I go back. She wasn't very encouraging before I had the surgery. She'd bring homemade candy and Cookies to work and try to get me to eat them. Whenever I was eating lunch (good low carb stuff), she'd say something like she'd just eat whatever she wanted and not worry about it. The thing is that she is overweight too. She's even talked about having the surgery but she's not commited enough. She said she could never do without chocolate. Well, I haven't been able to eat chocolate in 5 years so I think I can manage this.

I'm just afraid that she'll start with the candy and crap again. I won't eat any but you know it'll be tempting! It just makes me sad and now I dread going to work tomorrow. :thumbdown::frown:

Stay strong! Unfortunately, she may bring even more to tempt you. Have something on hand that you can have in case the craving get really strong. Also, you can politely tell her that although you appreciate her bringing enough to share that it isn't necessary and that you have no intention on slipping up with those kinds of treats. Good luck!