Anyone use there weight as support after years of domestic violence????

[mynewlife75 0]

hello all,

I'm really new to this and im not sure what i should be saying or doing, I just had my operation 28th july 2009..it was a big decision to make as i used my weight to hide away from how i was feeling from such a young age.! i was in a very bad relantionship a slap happy drunk, my son died Joshua in 98, and i got raped 5yrs ago.. which helped me to gain so much weight i weighed myself march this year 2009 an i was 129.8 kgs and as you all can understand it wasnt a great feeling, I'd been down for my operation 2yrs with Dr. Kow at the Flinder Medical Centre...and in 2007 i met this amazing man now my husband Luke who's changed my way at looking at life without him i proberly wouldnt of went through with it, I'm a mum of 3 kids amber 17 sam 14 an michaela 10, I'm expecting my first granchild in September. Also i've got 4 step kids i love to bits Makayla 10 Chloe 7 Hannah 5 an Leigh 17mths. so full house in school holiday's but i wouldnt have it any other way. Today been i think my 4th day after operation I'm feeling alittle lost, panicy, scared, nervous and I'm wondering if anyone could possibley understand what im saying....! with voilence even tho im not in it no more i felt protected by my weight!! I would love to hear an chat to anyone

thanks sheree

March 2009 129.8kgs

July 28th 2009 119.3kgs

August 1st 2009 116kgs

Edited August 1, 2009 by mynewlife75

[tampa terri 0]

I cannot imagine the anguish you have had to endure. You are an amazingly strong woman. Your family is so very lucky to have you. While I have not experienced the trauma of domestic violence, I can tell you that as the weight comes off you will become more self-confident and feel stronger both physically and emotionally. Never doubt that you deserve to have a wonderful and healthy life. Use your family's love and support to help you achieve your goals.

I wish you all the best!

[gone 4 ever 6]

Hello Mynewlife75.

First I want to say I am sorry about the loss of your son. I can only imagine what you've gone through with the loss.

I can understand fully what your saying about your weight. You use it as a shield not to get close to anyone. I was molested as a child and raped by an ex boyfriend when he found out I was pregnant and was getting married. But of course I married an abusive drunk! His favorite past time was getting drunk and using me as his punching bag. So I kept getting fatter and fatter. I finally left him for good after 5 yrs. I lost about 75 lbs. got pregnant and gained it back. Got into a mentally abusive relationship for several yrs. On again off again. Gained even more weight. The whole time I was gaining I was desperately wanting someone to love just me. But yet I was gaining to keep trouble away. I would try everything out there to lose weight. I would lose some and gain back more than I lost.

I am now getting my life together for me. Not for anyone. If later I find someone that is good then Amen! But that is not why I had the surgery. I had it for me. I didn't want to go through what my dad went through.

I am glad that you have a good life now. Sounds like you have a very loving and caring husband. Good luck with your band hon. PM me if you want.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

I think a lot of overweight people have used their weight at one time or another to create a sort of "wall" against lots of different things. Certainly some of your experiences individually might have triggered weight loss....rape? loss of a child? Some women who have come out of really bad relationships drown their sorrows in food. The main thing is that here no matter what triggered weight gain and supported keeping the pounds on, we've all come a long way! Congrats to you for stepping beyond your past.

[mynewlife75 0]

Thanks all for getting back to me I truely appreicate your kind words and your outlook to things, today im on my 5th day after lap banding and i weighed myself I'm 111kgs I cried, my family an friend's so supportive its been great an now to talk to people going thru the same as myself its only going to get better! ive had up an down minutes, but im going to hang in there. your all amazing people to be taking the path you are all on for your own reasons. Every bit of weight of is just alittle more pain gone.....!! no more bad past just a new an happy healthy future!!

[elcee 3,341]

Keep up the good work. You are a very strong person, you have proved this many times already.

PM me as often as you want. Having other people to share with makes things so much easier.

Lots of exciting things going on in your life at the moment. Especially becoming a Nana for the first time..

All the best

[mynewlife75 0]

Thanks elcee, im just getting used to this website!! and your right im looking forward to been a nana x take care