The positive side of being fat

[abbypoo 0]

Ok, so I think this thread might be somewhat controversial, because I know a lot of people on here hate everything about being fat. I respect that, and I'm with you. That being said, I noticed that a lot of the women on here are wonderfully funny, smart and damn interesting!

I'm not saying that our personalities are established by our weight, but I think that at least in my case I've had to "make up for" being the "fat girl" in other ways in my life. I don't think it was a conscious thing at all, but I think I purposely developed those aspects of my personality to try to prove my self worth.

So what am I getting at? These are all really good qualities that I probably would not have if not for being fat. I often think about what I would be like if I had grown up skinny, and I'm pretty sure that although it would have had its benefits, I would not be the well-rounded (no pun intended.. ha ha) person that I am today.

So lucky me for having lap-band! I'm going to have the trifecta: beauty, brains and personality! Did I mention I'll be healthy too? So tell me what you guys think. Do you have anything positive to say about your experience being overweight?

[greytz 4]

Congratulations on your band. My thoughts are this: I grew up skinny all my life and did not gain weight until I was in my early forties and then slowly and steadily until I am where I am now at 51yrs old. Other than the fact that I have matured through growing older I am still the same person inside with just a few changes which are, my insecurities obviously grew when I began to gain weight and I began to make excuses for my weight, etc. I also changed in the way I approached people, bought clothes and ate particularly in public. They were not good changes but necessary in my mind. I don't think anyone on this forum thinks of themselves as not funny, smart or beautiful. But it is a place to speak my fears, thoughts, motivators and share ideas and to get much needed support from people who are in the same process. I have met some wonderful and interesting people on this site and feel blessed to have known them even if it is just through email.

[Sarah.R 2]

Yes theres going to be huge issues about this because if your getting the band then shouldnt you be unhappy with who you are? I'll put my 2 cents in - I'm 21, I WAS happy with my weight, I liked my curves, I liked my boobs BUT my health has been crap since I was 10 and had chemotherapy and has gone down hill ever since. If I didn't have this surgery I was looking at a possible lung transplant and being rejected for it, now I know that if that possibility does come up, I will hopefully not be rejected for it. If I could have stayed the way I was and have been healthy, I would of been happy, who I am now defines me - I've always been fat and it's hard to change my persception with that - In saying that. I have never had a date, so yeah there are some downers for it - But overall I wasn't miserable when I was fat - I could find clothes, friends liked me for me and so did family - If I had negative things from friends/family then maybe the situation would have been different.

[Jaffa 5]

I understand and agree with your basic concept.

But, you have a huge flaw in there. You are making some kind of assumption that you won't change when you are no longer fat. That for most people just simply isn't true. You will most likely change and it won't necessarily be for the better in the opinion of people who knew you before.

In fact, you will probably lose several relationships from the change and gain several new ones.

[Jaffa 5]

Something similar is people who say that money wouldn't change them. Yea, right, money changes people. More or less and you will act different.

[kimaly 57]

I understand and agree with your basic concept.

But, you have a huge flaw in there. You are making some kind of assumption that you won't change when you are no longer fat. That for most people just simply isn't true. You will most likely change and it won't necessarily be for the better in the opinion of people who knew you before.

In fact, you will probably lose several relationships from the change and gain several new ones.

I agree, I've been thin and fat. I think some people only show you what they want you to see skinny or fat. And remember alot of skinny people are funny and sweet also, It's not just a fat thing. I know a lot of fat people that can be pretty nasty with others also. And I beleave you will change also hopefuly for the better. It's really up to us. The friendships you have do change, some for the better and some will end but I'm ok with that because the ones that end I don't think were strong enough to begin with.

[cindyj33 1]

Yes theres going to be huge issues about this because if your getting the band then shouldnt you be unhappy with who you are? I'll put my 2 cents in - I'm 21, I WAS happy with my weight, I liked my curves, I liked my boobs BUT my health has been crap since I was 10 and had chemotherapy and has gone down hill ever since. If I didn't have this surgery I was looking at a possible lung transplant and being rejected for it, now I know that if that possibility does come up, I will hopefully not be rejected for it. If I could have stayed the way I was and have been healthy, I would of been happy, who I am now defines me - I've always been fat and it's hard to change my persception with that - In saying that. I have never had a date, so yeah there are some downers for it - But overall I wasn't miserable when I was fat - I could find clothes, friends liked me for me and so did family - If I had negative things from friends/family then maybe the situation would have been different.

I have been following your story for a while now. You've come soo far in this endeavor. I wish you the best of luck and sucess in everything you do!!!:laugh:

[abbypoo 0]

I understand and agree with your basic concept.

But, you have a huge flaw in there. You are making some kind of assumption that you won't change when you are no longer fat. That for most people just simply isn't true. You will most likely change and it won't necessarily be for the better in the opinion of people who knew you before.

In fact, you will probably lose several relationships from the change and gain several new ones.

I hadn't thought of that, and you are probably right. It scares me to think that I might develop an entirely new outlook on life! I really hope I don't lose any relationships through my journey, but I can see how that could happen. Thanks for giving me something to chew on!

[abbypoo 0]

Yes theres going to be huge issues about this because if your getting the band then shouldnt you be unhappy with who you are? I'll put my 2 cents in - I'm 21, I WAS happy with my weight, I liked my curves, I liked my boobs BUT my health has been crap since I was 10 and had chemotherapy and has gone down hill ever since. If I didn't have this surgery I was looking at a possible lung transplant and being rejected for it, now I know that if that possibility does come up, I will hopefully not be rejected for it. If I could have stayed the way I was and have been healthy, I would of been happy, who I am now defines me - I've always been fat and it's hard to change my persception with that - In saying that. I have never had a date, so yeah there are some downers for it - But overall I wasn't miserable when I was fat - I could find clothes, friends liked me for me and so did family - If I had negative things from friends/family then maybe the situation would have been different.

I think you might be misconstruing my post a little bit. I was trying to say that being overweight can actually be a more positive experience than negative. For starters you know who you are and you know who your friends are too. That being said, everyone on here wants to lose weight for one reason or another. My biggest reason is my health as well, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about how great I'm going to look!

[abbypoo 0]

Congratulations on your band. My thoughts are this: I grew up skinny all my life and did not gain weight until I was in my early forties and then slowly and steadily until I am where I am now at 51yrs old. Other than the fact that I have matured through growing older I am still the same person inside with just a few changes which are, my insecurities obviously grew when I began to gain weight and I began to make excuses for my weight, etc. I also changed in the way I approached people, bought clothes and ate particularly in public. They were not good changes but necessary in my mind. I don't think anyone on this forum thinks of themselves as not funny, smart or beautiful. But it is a place to speak my fears, thoughts, motivators and share ideas and to get much needed support from people who are in the same process. I have met some wonderful and interesting people on this site and feel blessed to have known them even if it is just through email.

Thanks for sharing your experience! Having never been thin myself, I obviously can't relate. I would like to point out that you might have a much more negative attitude towards being overweight than me. Being fat has come to be part of my identity, and if I were to hate being fat I would start to hate myself. Yes I experienced some of the insecurities and inequalities and inconveniences that come with being overweight, but I would like to think that I didn't let it negatively affect the quality of my life.

[lotusflwr 0]

I've always been funny. I think because if they are laughing with you, they have a hard time laughing at you. I've been making people laugh so long I'm not sure I can stop, or if I want to. I've often wondered if I had been skinny would I have developed the same personality!

Patty

[Nanook 2]

I was fat as a child and it made me shy, I was raised by a mother who did not like the idea that her eldest daughter was overweight. Of course when I look back I wasn't that heavy. The dieting spiral began around age 12 and after my mother died at age 14 the weight really began to pile on. I lost it my first semester in college dorming next to a drug dealer who had diet pills. I went through the first period of my life as being cute and pretty. I had always been fun and funny and had a good personality but never the "cute one" till then. That I must admit was a good time in my life and then it came back on. Which took me from loving life to being depressed again. Lost it again for my upcoming wedding and began to slowly put it back on again after my first baby was born until I was at my highest 259 just prior to starting my RNY revision. So although I definitely had to try harder to be seen and heard as a fat woman in this society my depression and lack of self esteem kept me from becoming anything "fabulous". My personality is more confident as a thin woman and I don't have to be as much as a people pleaser so I do change, not becoming a "skinny beeach" type person but just more comfortable in my own skin. I've been skinny but fat most of my life and life for me is much better as a thinner person. As I know it can be "easy come easy go" so I don't put too much stock in the "wow I'm great" now that I'm thin you never know how long it will last. So my expectations for WL are not as high as they have been when I was younger. Don't want to be 125 pounds anymore and would be happy at 180 pounds!

[abbypoo 0]

I would be happy at 180 too! How did your revision surgery go?

[greytz 4]

Thanks for sharing your experience! Having never been thin myself, I obviously can't relate. I would like to point out that you might have a much more negative attitude towards being overweight than me. Being fat has come to be part of my identity, and if I were to hate being fat I would start to hate myself. Yes I experienced some of the insecurities and inequalities and inconveniences that come with being overweight, but I would like to think that I didn't let it negatively affect the quality of my life.

I am so sorry you thought I showed a negative attitude towards being overweight. I think I was saying quite the opposite. What I was trying to say is and as I stated before just my opinion: I believe I am still the same person deep down inside that I was before. I just approach things a little differently since I have been overweight. I was trying to say how much I appreciate the people on this site and yes some of them are funny, intelligent and from the pics I have seen beautiful too. But yes, I am embarrassed to be overweight and I am working toward my goal of thinning out again. I will not be as thin as I once was, but I am older now and don't expect that. But I am still me. That is why I have a strong marriage for the last 20 years. It's not about what's outside necessarily.

[JENNIFER7375 3]

Abbey agree that sometimes we do kind of over compensate for being heavy by kind of amping up our personality. and for me thats always been good. and as i,ve gotten thinner as my self confidence has increased so has that side of me.we are all beautiful intelligent women. but sometimes being heavy can make you feel like the beautiful person you are inside dosent match the one that the outside world sees. i sometimes feel that losing weight has helped me to combine both of those sides of me into one person.

and good luck on your weight loss. you are beautiful and are definitely gonna be a quadrupple threat!!