Anyone have a lack of Support?

[pokes 0]

So, I have been thinking about the lapband for a while now. A few weeks ago I went to a seminar and think that it could be a help, unfortunatly it doesnt look like anyone else does.

I have spoken to my doctor about my worries about my weight. I have always had 'obese' listed as one of my health issues, but she still doesnt seem worried about it. Perhaps its because I have no health problem, Im just a 'larger' american. Last time I saw her I tried again and the only thing I got out of her was 'Well, I guess you could try seeing a nutritionist." Thanks.

My husband says its an idea, but only if its the last thing I can do. Im not sure what he thinks I have been doing my entire life. He has seen me watch what I eat, record everything that does in my mouth and going ot the gym 2hr/day 7 days a week and little to nothing happening but still think everything is OK. I have gained nearly 100lbs in the 5 years I have known him... thats not normal. Apparently the loving me for me is strong with this one.

Finally, the one other person I have told that Im thinking about it reacted with "You arent doing it". Granted, she is 90lbs soaking wet so she may not totally understand, but still... support would be nice.

Has anyone else had a hard time getting people to support them through this process? I know I need to do something... being chubby all my life (think in 1st grade the school made me go to a nurtitionist bc they thought I was shy because I was fat, jenny criag at age 12... list goes on) and havent been able to get it under control. I want to do something now... BEFORE any health issues show themself? ANy suggestions on how to get the support I need to finally be a sucess?

[Lorett 0]

Hi Pokes.

First - I am brand new to this forum and am happy to see that it is here. I am sure that I am not the only one that will jump up and give you support!

Yes - I didn't have support on this for a long time...not until I met my current husband. What was very important, however, was that I also had the support of my doctor. When I mentioned to him last year that I was interested, he got excited right along with me. Wow - that made a huge difference! If your doctor doesn't understand just how important this is to you, then get another doctor. It's not just about the way you look, its about how you feel. I can't wait until I can tie my shoes without having difficulty breathing, or reaching over to pick up something I dropped with ease, or playing more actively with my dogs. This is about quality of life. I can't understand why your doctor is not more enthusiastic about helping you - find a new doctor that undersands that the quality of your life is just as important. Ask around - check with your insurance company - they can help you with referrals (usually).

As far as what your friends think....if they have not had a weight problem, they just can't relate. I am sure that the advice they are offering you comes from their heart. Don't be hard on them, that's just the way it is. Once you start to loose weight, they will see the change in you - not only physically but mentally as well...then watch for their support. :juggle:

Edited July 30, 2009 by Lorett

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I don't know you or your friends/family and really don't know a thing about you...age/height/weight/weight history etc. So I'll say this:

If the people who love you really love you, then listen to their advice. Think it over. Weigh it in the mix with everything else. Then decide what is best for you. Don't discount negativity as just "jealousy" or "doesn't understand" or whatever....find out WHY they feel the way they do. Are they afraid for you? ARE they jealous? Do they have valid concerns? And then decide.

If they don't really love you and care about you, who gives a damn what they think?

As for your DOC, ask her why she's reluctant, why she thinks ANOTHER diet would help when your 100% committment in the past didn't do the trick. Listen to her concerns, weigh things out, then decide for yourself what you think your best course will be.

[wyoshaR 0]

My co-workers were my best support. As far as my husband I sat him down told him what was going to happen to me if I did not have the surgery. I explained I wanted to live a long healthy life and unless I got the weight off that was not going to happen. I did not want him to say no you do not need it. And as far as any one else if they don't have anything nice to say they should not say anything, especailly if they have never had to deal with a weight issue, and trying to lose it.

[should_be_working 0]

"Apparently the loving me for me is strong with this one."

I'm sorry, but that made me LOL. What a great guy you have. I've only been considering lap band since March, but my husband is completely the opposite. He would never SAY that he wants me to lose weight any more than he'd tell me to get a boob job or a Tummy Tuck, but when I brought up the possibility of lap band surgery, I swear it seemed like he was relieved that I was actually going to do something about my weight.

Frankly, it sounds like you need a new family doctor. You are right, it is NOT normal to gain 100 pounds in five years. There's no right answer for everyone. You're going to get a lot of support here if you end up choosing lap band, but that doesn't mean that it's the best thing for you. It does sound like you've given the traditional approach of diet and exercise a fair enough try though.

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

Pokes,

I have had wonderful support from the people who love me. There were some concerns from certain family members about my going out of the country for surgery but this is a long story and quite frankly doesn't matter to me what any of them thought of my decision.

Has your doctor ever done thyroid screening on you? I just read a really interesting article about hypothyroidism and obesity. If she hasn't, she should.

Be sure you research all the WLS procedures because in this regard one size doesn't fit all. Perhaps your doc just doesn't think much of the lap band but prefers another WLS. I would thoroughly question her on this matter. Also, take the time to document your past weight loss attempts. Show approx dates of each diet plan and your successes and failures and weight at that point in time. This is important when trying to obtain insurance company approval for WLS and it will show your doctor you are serious.

I wouldn't let other people's opinions of WLS deter you from having it. Many people just don't understand.

Good luck to you!

[Catherine55 43]

I didn't tell most family and friends until after I'd made up my mind -- and some I didn't tell until after the surgery. There were a few select people whose input I really wanted to consider in making my decision, and I was lucky that they were all really supportive. Honestly, I'd expected a fair amount of nay-saying and "why can't you just go back to Weight Watchers" in the mix, but I didn't get that at all.

For me, getting banded has put an end to YEARS of feeling bad about my weight and feeling powerless in the battle of the bulge. Even though on the way up, I felt huge at 177, now I'm thrilled to find that I fit into size 14 again, and shopping has become fun again.

I know myself well enough to know that there is no way I could have adhered to any diet for the nine months it has taken me to get to this point. And even if I'd been able to make it through nine months, I can't imagine that I'd still feel as motivated, positive, and ready to get the rest of the way to goal (and keep it off for life) that I do now.

I'd recommend that you keep researching the band and show your husband the blogs of bandsters who write about their progress and post their photos (you're welcome to show him mine, and I'm a big fan of many others, including Lise the Loser and all the other ones that I follow). Also, there is a book called Weight Loss with the Adjustable Gastric Band (sold on Amazon.com) that I found really helpful when I was making my decision.

By the time I talked to most family and friends, I had really done a lot of research about the surgery and weighed out the pros and cons. I think that helped show them that my decision was well-reasoned and thought out. I'm not sure if you used that approach already, but if not, give it a shot!

With best wishes,

Catherine

[Catherine55 43]

One more thing I forgot to mention! This site is actually a HUGE source of support and information for me. If you aren't getting the kind of support you need from friends and family, I think you may be surprised to find how great the support you get on here is. :laugh:

Catherine

[MichelleBee 0]

I had a ton of support from my dad. My mom loves cooking and she is overweight, so she was trying to be supportive, but also helped me cheat on my diet. My fiance bought a sheet cake for himself the day before my surgery, granted he is 180 lbs no matter what he eats. So, the sheet cake pissed me off a lot, but the man likes cake.

I say if you want to get it done, do it. If you are tired of being overweight, do it. I would get mine done again. You need to be in it for yourself though, and not really care what other people think, like the previous poster said.

[babyka16 0]

i agree with allot of what was said above. you should do this for you, its your happiness, your life, your choice to have this done. you don't need to look for approval in anyone but yourself! my husband was not liking the fact that i wanted this done. tell i said this is for me not you!! and if you love me you'll let me do this... i need this! good luck!